I've lost trust in my husband: Advice?

Walk away and enjoy your life x

To me it is cheating. Once that trust is broken you canā€™t get it back. Love is trust! If you donā€™t feel that anymore it will eat away at you eveyday.

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I know that feeling all to well, I still canā€™t get past the thought. And I sure as hell donā€™t trust him as much as I used to

Boots are made for walking, so start walking.

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Move on! Itā€™ll hurt of coarse but itā€™ll continue and hurt more later!!

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It is at least a LIE. Seek counseling

If he feels he has to hide it, (he obviously does) then he too knows he shouldnā€™t be doing it. Sorry but when extra folks ate added to. Relationship Iā€™m out. Been there dome that. Without trust , you have nothing. Move on

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I had the exact same situation and Iā€™d moved country away from my family for him. But after 10 years enough was enough. It was hard but I kicked him out and Iā€™ve never felt better about myself. Iā€™m content and peaceful and that to me is priceless. Good luck. Straighten your crown and move on xx

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Get rid of him. ā€¦ :neutral_face:

You should have left along time ago

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So sorry for youā€¦ been there, done it allā€¦ the trust never comes back unfortunately. You might temporarily forget about itā€¦ unlike me I forgave an ex plenty of times. It wasnā€™t until I though we was in a really good place (best weā€™d ever been) that I found out he was up to his same shit (only this time wad the last time) Eventually youā€™ll find the strength to leaveā€¦ might not be today, tomorrow or even soonā€¦ but you willā€¦ :heart:

Have some respect for yourself girl

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Itā€™s still cheating! Once the trust is broken youā€™ll always be wondering. If you donā€™t think you can get past it then itā€™s times to end the relationship.
But if heā€™s done it before heā€™ll more than likely do it again xx

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Once the trust has gone then its time to move on it will be hard at first but you donā€™t want to go through this for the rest of your life, and the respect from him has gone for you too, you will find someone when you least expect it, that will treat you like your his queen xx

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U know ur husband better than anyone. Let him know u wonā€™t put up with that crap. Just dont make any drastic moves, especially if thereā€™s a chance things can work out.
Iā€™ve been with my husband 39 years, and no relationship is perfect. But here we areā€¦

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You thought marrying him would make him change. You saw the signs before you married him and they made you feel uncomfortable but you accepted his lies. Cheating is defined by the person the wrong is being done to. If what he is doing makes you feel like he is cheating, then itā€™s cheating. Do you want to stay with him and put up with it or leave?

My ex did this and I forgave him so many times. He never stopped and soon it changed to cheating in person. We broke up and I realized how weak I had been just being with him and I turned into an awful controlling person from it. Once the trust starts eating away, from personal experience, itā€™s doesnā€™t really stop.

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If there is no trust the relationship is over

He is definitely cheating. Think about the wording of your vowsā€¦ then leave.

If itā€™s in your head, itā€™s in your heart. Heā€™s cheating

Cheating definitely, he should only have eyes for you, #getrid :+1:

Itā€™s your choice my dear itā€™s so horrible having to go through to this. If you find something like that and he apologised then fair enough but it should be more than an apology. He should change his ways. If he starts making more of an effort to get your trust back in him then maybe itā€™s something that you can hold on to. If he is still just saying sorry and going on about his day like itā€™s no big deal then he clearly doesnā€™t care enough and you deserve better. Relationships are 50/50 but some days the are 80/20 people need to try harder when the other person is struggling. Good look my dear. I hope you end up having the happiest of lives xxxxx

If heā€™s done it once he will do it again expecting you to forgive him all the time. Get rid. Donā€™t get why people need to cheat.

Also feel free to message me whoever you are.

The trust is gone and he destroyed the respect. If you stay, you have to forgive. Forgetting is difficult but you shouldnā€™t mention it if youā€™ve decided to stay, that wonā€™t help. The messaging other women is his issue and not your fault. Maybe he needs to overcome somethingā€¦

Definitely fuck him off the fact that he made the accounts just shows you what his intentions were

Heā€™s a cheat, get rid.
Whether heā€™s physically cheated or not, the intention to cheat is still there - thatā€™s why heā€™s messaging other women in the first place. That thought shouldnā€™t even cross his mind!
If heā€™s sneaking round and hiding things from you then sorry but he knows what heā€™s doing is wrong and yet heā€™s still doing it.
Heā€™ll fill you with the same bull to wriggle his way out ā€œIā€™m sorry, I love you, it wonā€™t happen againā€ blah blah blah. Oh but it will.
Get out of there.
.

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You need to check yourself
You donā€™t dictate what he can do because of how fragile or controlling you need to be

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Cheat too and youā€™ll have nothing to worry about.

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You keep looking for something, youā€™ll eventually find it. Problem is, when you find itā€¦whatā€™s your next move? What was the point in looking for something, without having a resolution or Plan B?? Now you stuck in a miserable relationship because you donā€™t wanna stayā€¦but you donā€™t wanna leave either. & whatā€™s worseā€¦thereā€™s no trust because you now know the truth. Just like the movie said, ā€œYou canā€™t handle the truthā€. Your thought you couldā€¦but you obviously canā€™t. :man_shrugging:t4::man_facepalming:t4:

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This exact same thing happened to me, however, he only did it once and promised not to do it again so if hes done it more than once, Iā€™d leave. However I know itā€™s more difficult than that. I donā€™t believe ā€œonce the trust is gone you should leaveā€ as there are more important things and believe me the trust can be re built, it just takes a lot of time :slight_smile:
It all depends on how he acts, e.g if heā€™s secretive on his phone ect

Once youā€™ve lost the trust thereā€™s no going back. You might still love him, but sometimes love isnā€™t enough. Stay strong!

I have no worries if my fiance talked to other women on Facebook,I talk to other males but I would have a problem if he was hiding accounts from me cause thatā€™s a red flag to me

If you canā€™t get past it, thatā€™s an issue.

Not because youā€™re wrong! But because relationships cannot thrive without trust.

If you canā€™t trust him again? You need to be honest about that, and you two need to think about a divorce. Iā€™m 100% about saving relationships and I donā€™t at all believe cheating has to be the end (though it absolutely can be. I just mean that relationships can thrive after it), but, it sounds like you two have tried, and youā€™re justā€¦ Not okay with it. And thatā€™s fine. But you need to be honest with him and then move forward from here.

Donā€™t stay if you canā€™t truly work over things and be happy. You tried, itā€™s not workingā€¦ Donā€™t hurt yourself further. <3

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Does matter what he did. If you feel cheated by him doing that than yes it is absolutely cheating. He has no regard to your feelings. Trust is easily given, easy to break, hard as hell to gain back. Go with your gut and heart. If you stay most importantly always protect your feelings and heart.

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Itā€™s normal you canā€™t trust him anymore he needs to earn your trust back.

He is curious, ask him or do something for him

He is a no go cheating man. My question to you is what are you going to do about it?

That is cheating!! If he is giving someone the type of attention that only YOU should br recieving, then its cheating!!

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From a Christian perspective:

The Bible tells us just to look at someone else with lust in our hearts is adultery - so yes your husband doing that is considered cheating.

It may mean your husband is struggling with some sort of sex addiction or porn addiction which can move away from the internet t something more real should it keep on escelating.

It is really something both husband and wife should work on together, pray together and seek God together because this is a spiritual attack on your marriage and on your husband. The more you fill that gap with Jesus, the stronger your spirit gets and the less control your fleshly desires has over you.

It all starts with a choiceā€¦

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I would say, see ya.

If the trust is gone, itā€™ll never work.

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Leave now. Why wait. He has showed you where you stand with him. Leave now while you can. Before he breaks your heart even more. Donā€™t you think you deserve better?

If you feel disrespected, then you have every right to leave. Your feelings are always valid. I wouldā€™ve left after I found those things but I understand the struggle. You have to respect yourself more than you love him or youā€™ll just become a doormat.

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Ehhh if you have to hide it then itā€™s no good. Especially when it comes to hidden accounts that exist for the simple fact that he wants to act single for random women. Red flag bright red.

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Thereā€™s having conversations with the opposite sex, then thereā€™s flirting, sexting, hiding your relationship, and everything else. Regular conversations are fine of course but he wouldnā€™t need to hide that.

Itā€™s likely that if heā€™s been having all these fake profiles, and talking to all these other women for all these years heā€™s probably met with them too, at least some of them. Iā€™m sure youā€™ve told him over and over again how upsetting it is and how disrespected you feel, and yet he still does it? Telling you itā€™s not cheating because itā€™s virtual? Nah, if he canā€™t respect you enough to not do that stuff, and not respect you enough to call it what it is and actually stop then you will never be able to trust him. Trust is earned and heā€™s given you no reason to trust him. It absolutely is cheating, and like I said itā€™s very likely after all these years heā€™s actually been with some of them in person. What you do about it is up to you. Stop listening to him, and listen to your gut. You already know.

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Personal opinion, men like that donā€™t change. They just find new ways to hide shit. Pleeeeease save your self, run.

If he is acting single / hitting on them than yes itā€™s cheating .and because he feels like he did nothing wrong heā€™s not going to stop ā€¦will he follow through ?? If there is no trust in a relationship than there is no relationship ā€¦you canā€™t live and be happy always having that eating away at you ā€¦time to move on

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Once trust is broken itā€™s nearly impossible to get it backā€¦I personally couldnā€™t deal with that cause in my mind that is still cheating

Itā€™s cheating and itā€™s not a mistake, itā€™s a choice. A mistake repeated isnā€™t a mistake at all.

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This is cheating and he isnā€™t going to stop because you keep forgiving and staying. Trust me. If you donā€™t use a deal breaker as an actual deal breaker, they will think it is just pushing a boundary. Get out now before you waste more time. It sucks and it hurts but that is the only way for you to be happy. Then you can find someone who actually loves you and wonā€™t do anything to jeopardize losing you. :heart:

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Itā€™s definitely cheating and itā€™s actually considered habitual cheating. Long story short, he wants to cheat and he will. Thatā€™s why he does it. If he didnā€™t want to , he would go through all that to make fake social media accounts for the sole purpose to cheat.

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Coming from someone whoā€™s husband did all those same things for over 4 years without me knowingā€¦ heā€™s cheating. It took me a long time to find out, maybe I was stupid. But he was doing all of those things and had a whole other relationship I didnā€™t know about or see any signs of.

Cheater, ainā€™t never gonna change girl, trust me, leave

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No, leave now or kick him out.

For me this is cheating and it sounds like it is for you too. No one can define the boundaries of your relationship and what counts as cheating besides you.

Why would you even marry the man knowing he had issues with staying faithful? You set yourself up for failure

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I would have left the first time and never looked back, I doubt itā€™s going to get any better.

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Cheat back :woman_shrugging:t2:. Yā€™all are too scared to do a bum dude the same way. Fuck that guys think weā€™re going to keep dealing with it. Naaa baby you gotta make him eat his shit too. Maybe then heā€™ll stop. If not then let that man goooo

And remember all the crap he does has nothing to do with you, itā€™s his own insecurities. Youā€™re too much of a woman for him

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LEAVE while you still have lots of life left to live :heart:

When trust is gone,nothing is left. You deserve to be cherished and the only one. Go now ,you will wonder what took you so long.

Honey. You know the answer. He is a cheater and you need to leave

He did it more than once, he WANTS to be singleā€¦let himā€¦dont waste your years on someone like that

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Itā€™s cheating. If heā€™s even thinking about anyone other than you, thereā€™s a problem periodā€¦no communication, no trust will lead you to hate everything about him. Also he may turn this into projection and blame you. I know itā€™s hard but I just left an 11 year marriage because of control issues and cheating, my heart just couldnā€™t handle it anymore. We have 3 beautiful boys together and made an agreement that they come first. Now we are both in relationships and heā€™s getting a taste of his own medicine. Trust me,. If you have an out, or can get him out, please do it for your peace of mind, stress can make you very sick and hurt you so much more than leaving.

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Itā€™s up to how you define cheating and what youā€™re willing to put up with.

Divorce him, he is just using you!

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Councelor time if you care at all.

he is a cheat . get out asap

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What you allow is what will continue

To me, keeping these things a secret, is cheating. Would of left him the first time I found out.

It doesnt matter if other say its cheating or not, you set a boundary and he broke it
After that itā€™s just ā€œallowingā€ the situation to continue unfortunately

I didnā€™t read all but trust me they donā€™t change , move on you will thank your self later! Save yourself the hurt.

Definitely cheating. Heā€™s going out of his way to be sneaky and make fake accounts and putting in the extra work to try and make sure you donā€™t see it, because he KNOWS itā€™s wrong. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! words do not mean shit if their actions are showing otherwise.
From experience, if it were me, Iā€™d end it now before you waste more time and energy. Itā€™s not worth it

Not only is this person cheating on you, he is going so far out of his way to do it. He didnā€™t just meet someone at work or get too close to a friend or any of the many other run-in scenarios there are out there. He is literally actively making many accounts to find other people not only is he cheating he donā€™t give a fuk about you. This person is selfish uncaring does not think about you and Iā€™m sorry to be harsh but I have been there and you do not want to keep wasting your time. Projecting Your Love onto them. Because they donā€™t feel what you feel.

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Thatā€™s definitely cheating. Heā€™s creating all the opportunities needed. His intent is to sleep with other women. Thatā€™s the bottom line.

Doesnā€™t matter if you canā€™t trust thereā€™s no point. But yes emotionally cheating is still cheating

Doll. He ainā€™t the one. #redflagseverywhere

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If youā€™re secretly talking to other women and have to hide it behind fake accounts itā€™s CHEATING. Get outta there while you can.

Itā€™s absolutely emotional cheating. Heā€™s lying and living a double life, and hurting you. Not cool.

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In my experience , people that do that donā€™t change. They just get better at not being caught.

I would attempt a short counseling term. Usually when the trust is gone, it doesnā€™t ever return fully. You just always wonderā€¦Ive found once a cheaterā€¦always a cheater. They just get sneekier. I refuse to live that way. Did for awhileā€¦you knowā€¦for the kids. That was a bs excuse. It truly hurt them more than help. A short counseling session for you to get YOUR HEAD STRAIT THEN go if you ever even once find him cheating again. Texting is cheating! Donā€™t waste too much time on a loser cheater like I did!

Why are you enabling him? He is a liar. Change yourself,not him.

Yes same as cheating

Leave. Thatā€™s not love. And itā€™s disrespectful.

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Leave him!! He doesnā€™t respect you if heā€™s going out of his way to do it. I wouldnā€™t trust them after this and would have to walk away you deserve better

If he isnā€™t physically cheating, he is mentally cheating. And if your trust cannot be rebuilt then I think that tells you everything you need to know. You canā€™t live your life this way forever :woman_shrugging:t2:

Iā€™d stayā€¦you wonā€™t get better than him, and youā€™d be worthless without him

He may aswell cheat , nothing worse than knowing he gets off using other women , you deserve better than that , you deserve to be the woman recieving his messages , do yourself a favour be happy just walk away , the trust is gone it wonā€™t never come back , wish you luck and send you love , step out gain your happiness back :wink:

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If the trust cannot be rebuilt then its time to move on. Hiding stuff is dishonest so he knows you donā€™t approve. You wouldnā€™t act like he is and if u did your husband wouldnā€™t accept it. Sooner or later the thrill of secret texting wonā€™t be enuff so deal with it now

The trust will never come back. Sounds like heā€™s had too many chances ready. If thereā€™s no trust then thereā€™s no relationship. Let him go. You donā€™t need someone who is going to constantly make you worry

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These kinda men need stringing up by the balls :roll_eyes: I mean you have the proof. Just go and do you Hun. why would you stay?!:exploding_head:

Leave. Just leave. Heā€™ll never stop.

Ask urself
If u did the same would he still be there?
:woman_shrugging:t3:
& thereā€™s ur answer.

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