My husband and I have been together almost seven years, married almost 2, and in our nearly seven years, we have had multiple issues with him texting other women on Facebook and two instances where I found secret social media accounts, one being an Instagram account where he looked and acted totally single and was private messaging multiple women and the other being a Snapchat account that he designated to texting other women as well. He apologized, and I stayed, but I can’t seem to get past it or trust him anymore. I just want to know your thoughts on if this is cheating or not. I’ve seen and heard several mixed reviews and just wanted to hear some other opinions.
Im sorry love. Once trust is lost, it’s hard to get back. Sounds to me like he actually did cheat on you.
He has no respect for you clearly. Your lost of trust is justified. I would not have stayed. I think you shouldn’t stay either. It’s just asking for torture and misery. I guarantee there is someone else out there that will love you the RIGHT way. Hugs. Shits hard
Hoverwatch. Com puts the app on his phone you can see what he does even if he deletes it
To me, YES this is cheating. He has no business texting or messaging other women. And if he is doing it secretively, then he is even more wrong for doing so. Girl kick him to the curb. Saying he is sorry, doesn’t fix anything at all. That’s like breaking a glass and expecting it to be like new when you glue it back together.
Definitely cheating. You need to leave.
Did you marry him after all this?
A relationship is built on honesty, trust, and communication. If you don’t have any of those, you don’t have a relationship. YOU know the answer to this question. The question is, are you denying it to yourself?
I would never trust again
If a man will do that while committed to u he will do it again. Ur gut is telling u to get out and be happy. There are plenty of men who would never do that when in a relationship of any kind! Should never have to worry about that type of behavior while married especially
Oh no, he’s gotta go
I mean there ain’t really much any one can say or even give you advice because he/she the cheater will not change if they are addicted to cheating it’s up to the person if they wan to change that .
He has proven to you he isn’t trust worthy. Why would you trust him?
Honestly they don’t change after this kind of stuff. I left my kids dad when we had similar issues and while it’s been really hard managing on my own I would not change it.
It’s be one thing if he only did it once and then proved he had changed. But if he keep doing it, girl leave. He’s taking advantage of the fact that you will stick around.
Been through that hell no the trust is gone you deserve better
Opinions are not facts. You need to decide for yourself
If he’s having to hide his actions, he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing. By you staying, he thinks he can keep getting away with it. You deserve much better than that
You know the answer or else you wouldn’t be asking this. No one will tell you to give him a chance w/ the details you provided us about him.
You knew he was like this before you married him.
He’s what I like to call the “fisherman.” He casts out many lines in hope for a bite. Those type of “men” are usually habitual cheaters.
Kick his ass to the curb
congrats you have a man child. He’s gonna be who he is for the rest of his life…. he won’t change. Dump him
Wonder how he would react if you did the same to him I think you are really forgiving and he is taking advantage of that. If you still have trust issues address them with him, if he is committed and wants the relationship he will do anything to prove to you that you can trust him again.
To be honest, in the beginning when you had issues with him texting other woman on fb, the red flags were flying.
Cheating is anything you wouldn’t do in front of your SO. If you have to hide it, it’s cheating sis.
He’s cheating. Do yourself a favor and move on. Don’t get down for staying just learn the lesson to never doubt yourself again. You deserve better. Better from a man and to treat yourself better too.
Hunny it’s going to happen again. You will probably never get the trust back. I had a bf he cheated 2 yrs into relationship I was never the same. I wasted 4 more years miserable every day.
He is cheating on you
If he doesn’t feel comfortable doing it in front of you then he knows he is doing something he shouldn’t be. Don’t let him gaslight you and make you think it’s nothing…it’s something and I would almost bet that there is more you didn’t find or that he did in person.
Anything you wouldn’t want your significant other to know about is cheating. If these were secret accounts, he didn’t clearly want you to know about it & well… you get the idea. Marriage counseling could help, but only if you’re both willing to put in the work. Otherwise, you’ll resent him forever & that isn’t healthy.
In my mind they ended the relationship when they decided to act single.
… run, Forrest, run!
I would have never married that. Going to be pricey to get away from him now. Do yourself a favor and leave
What would a man’s ultimate goal of flirting be? He throws his line out looking for a bite. Will he throw it back? Will he eat the fish? Does it even matter? Cheating is anything you do behind your partners back. Besides, I think flirters can easily become cheaters. You’ll probably never trust him again!
Keep your husbands off of the internet!
If your husband is making social media accounts that you know nothing about and acting like he’s single… why would you trust him?
I’m sure upon discovery of these multiple issues, you expressed your distrust and probably cried because of how badly it hurt you and he has only ever continued to hurt you again and again.
That isn’t love. You don’t repeatedly commit the same hurtful actions over and over again knowing what it’d do to your partner and how it makes them feel.
It’s not a mistake. Your feelings do not matter to him. You should leave. Actions always speak louder than words. Always.
Liar, cheater…get rid of him.
Only you can answer what cheating is to you and what the line is. Everyone has their own set of morals, ethics,experiences that form the basis for what they will tolerate. Look inside your self and ask your self those same questions and then follow what your heart and mind say… good luck
Time for him to be your EX husband! You deserve better
If you have to hide it…its wrong!
He’s cheating. It doesn’t have to be physical. It’s time for you to leave.
If you lost your main line of trust, then why stay married?
Hes cheating… decide if you can or want to forgive him
Trust is hard to come by. I absolutely would not be able to stay with someone who could so easily disregard my feelings, let alone multiple times. No, no, no!
If you have to hide your inappropriate behavior with other women from your wife, it’s cheating. Move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea who will respect you and treat you right.
Cheating is so much more than just physical touch. If correspondence has to be hidden from your spouse because you know they will be hurt and disrespected, then yes it is cheating.
Only you can decide that. Since you’ve said there has been multiple times, there is also a good chance it’s still going on and he has gotten better at hiding it. If you can’t find a way to trust him then you have no solid foundation for the rest of your relationship to build upon.
If he knows your only going to keep ignoring it he’s just going to keep going behind you back and doing the same thing. Get rid of him and look after yourself!
Definitely not a trustworthy guy at all!
You seem to be justifying his actions,but I will be blunt about it .
His cheating no matter how much you want to look at it.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it matters how you feel. If you can’t get past it your gut is telling you something.
Don’t trust him… he is going to go back to doing the same thing if he hasn’t already. I’ve learned this the hard way
Brutal u deserve better
It depends on what you consider cheating. I feel the accounts were open and the nature of the conversation that it may be okay. However, hiding the accounts and speaking to multiple women sounds like if he isn’t physically cheating, that he is either trying to or having an emotional affair that could be just as bad. I had an ex who did the same thing and eventually found he had other narcissist traits as well. We were engaged, when I found things all over his phone. Very sexual messages and even a sexual message to one of the bridesmaids. This was after I caught him previously at the start of the relationship. Lesson learned. Once they start, they won’t stop and it is completely disrespectful to you.
Hell yes he’s cheating. Dump him. You deserve better.
If he feels the need to hide it it’s cheating.
I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship: Kirshenbaum, Mira: 9780425245316: Amazon.com: Books
My therapist recommended this book to me when my husband and I had issues. It definitely helped me, more than the therapy did actually.
I do believe what he is doing is cheating. It may not be physical, but he is mentally and emotionally cheating on you. It’s just as bad, one is no worse than the other to me.
It really doesn’t matter if it feels like cheating to anyone else or not. It clearly does to you. Flirting, sexting, lying, chasing other women… all of that is cheating to a LOT of people. You’re not crazy or wrong for not trusting him he earned that
You don’t need our feedback or advice. You know the answer but just can’t accept it. Sorry to be blunt, but respect yourself although he clearly doesn’t respect you. You deserve to be treated better.
Flirting is cheating,he is untrustworthy and doesn’t respect your feelings
Let it be…if it happens again…walk out…end of story
Let him be single! It’ll be an exciting time for you too! New beginnings. Good luck!
Anything he is doing with other women and can’t be shared with you is cheating. He kept it a secret so you won’t know.
The seven year itch! Does he want to work it out? If so, he needs to earn your trust and be patient with you. If he shows no remorse, move on. Now you said several times? Maybe he isn’t learning his lesson? Does he fear losing you or just take you for granted? Good luck.
He cheating. If he’s not the intent is there and he hasn’t done it yet.
It’s cheating, he has a sexual addiction. Seek help or get out.
F*cking cheater for sure!
I see it as cheating honestly. Flirting with other women. That’s very disrespectful, selfish, cowrdly, he should kneel down and apologize but if you CANNOT trust him then why are you with him. Well 1 you love him and care for him. But would you rather be with a man that you trust your whole life. Or would you rather feel miserable forever. I mean if you wanna give this guy a 2nd chance you can. But why are you wasting time on be unhappy when you can be really happy with someone who will respect you and be loyal, and loving to you. A guy who cheats are like little teen boys. Real men take cares of his wife and comes to his wife and loves her. That’s what a real man should do. Wake up honey. Do whats best for you (hugs)
Once a cheater always a cheater. I’m really sorry but if this happened before marriage too…you probably shouldn’t have married him. You deserve so much better to where even wondering about it isn’t even a thing.
Once a cheater always a cheater. It’s hard to gain trust back. If I were you I’d have walked a long time ago.
Lived with that for 24 yrs, don’t be me.
If he hides what he’s doing n keeping secrets then u have reason not 2 trust him. I partly divorced my ex bcuz I couldn’t trust him. He did the exact same thing with his phone. He also cheated a lot. Even with co-workers so I couldn’t even trust him at work. Idk about anyone else but 4 me trust is important.
Girl… if you do NOT have trust… you have NOTHING!!! Trust me, I learned the hard way with my EX. And I was exactly right!!! God gave us women female intuition or gut instinct for a reason. Please do NOT waste anymore time on his sorry butt. Prayers for you sweet girl!!!
I am a firm believer that trust is an absolute necessity in any relationship.
I made it very clear in the beginning,
if I could not trust him I wouldn’t be with him.
I also told him there’s no forgiveness or second for cheating of any kind or abusive any kind. And I stick by my boundaries.
If trust is gone, I would leave. What he is doing is cheating. Not ok. Ever. Cut your losses and go. He doesn’t respect you. Find happiness elsewhere; you deserve way better.
Good rule of thumb: If you’re pretty sure he’s cheating, you KNOW he’s cheating. Think it’ll be different in 10 years? It will be worse, and you’ll be 10 years older.
Tell him you’ll help him pack. Then find someone who deserves you and gives you peace of mind.
Yes it’s cheating. No it won’t get any better. I forgave my husband the first 1 or 2 times but over and over again I found stuff. Finally said boy bye and have never looked back!
You’ve been with him long enough and if you still love him, you owe to yourself and him to try Counseling. If after that, you feel the same, move on. The counselor should be able to advise you as to whether he appears to want to reform and will get the help he needs to aid you in your decision.
If he can message other women knowing full well your married to him, then he doesn’t care for you the way you care for him…it’s time to move on to someone who will respect and cherish you the way you deserve.
You must be able to have trust. I can honestly say it’s the hardest thing you could ever have to experience. I’m so sorry you were put through that pain. It will always hurt. It does get better if he’s willing to put in the work you have to as well. The best advice I can give you is that when you truly forgive someone you have to let it go. This means not holding it over there head or blaming them for their actions. It’s moving forward together as one only. There will be tons of opinions in your marriage and it’s honestly up to the two of you. Be open, seek counseling, even if you go with him. These problems have to be discussed because there is always a reason behind it. You need to know where he stands. You can’t be the only one who is in.
If it happened more than once it’s not going to stop. Get out before you waste more years.
Aww that’s horrible situation to be in…I’ve had similar happen to me…I’d say best bet is to relax about it all for a few months, check his phone when he least expects it, and if happens again you need get out babygirl. But if he decides to change his ways on that and does good it’ll still take you a few years to feel almost
Confident in him only as long as he don’t isn’t a repeat offender of course…also keep in mind if you stay with him, no matter what, don’t harp on the situation it can actually make it worst…try to put it out of your mind and check in a couple months when he thinks all is good again. Good luck I feel for you I know what you’re going through
Ummmmm why are you still with him? Feeling that doubt day after day is no way to live.
Can I get a divorce a man should never cheat on his wife
yeah that’s cheating
I feel like the moment a woman gives him another chance, especially multiple chances, he’s not gonna change because he will think you won’t leave him or that he can just get away with it again. Leave his ass in the dirt and trust your gut.
Get out now! If he hasn’t already cheated, he will!!!
Get out of the relationship. Find someone who wants to be with you
Say bye, bye to him. trust is very important!
Dump him and don’t look back
Eh gets some other guy and forget him.
Yes to me thats cheating xx
Trust, I do believe is like a paper, once crumpled, you can never get it to be as it was before… Trust is the most essential ingredient in every relationship, you need trust to love.
Go with your gut. Nobody can answer that for you. More on & live your life for you.
Trust is like virginity, once you lose it there’s no going back…
It is Absolutely cheating and if he’s done it once, he will do it again. Save yourself time, energy and heartache. Take your dignity and go. A person who truly loves you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of another woman.