The other night my 13 year old expressed all the negative feelings she holds towards her father. She basically said how he is only around when he feels it’s best for him and how even if she is to express herself to him, he doesn’t care or won’t change. She also told me she doesn’t talk about it because she knows if I bring it all up to him, he will make it seem as if I’m making it up and that yet again, he won’t even bother to consider her feelings. He moved to Florida just over a year ago. I can count on my hands the number of times they have seen each other. He also barely even reaches out to her. If he does, it’s not in the form she has expressed to him that she would prefer. There were so many other things as well. How do I even handle all this? I’m so hurt for her and mad but I also don’t want to deal with his bs if I try to confront him. I just know their relationship is so strained and she is slowly beginning to resent him in more ways then one.
I would cut off contact with him. She’s old enough to see what’s happening & she obviously doesn’t like it. If he wants to have a relationship with her then HE needs to make the effort, in the way she would like since he isn’t doing so right now. Talk to her, ask if she would like to cut off contact. If she doesn’t want to talk to him she shouldn’t have too.
The only issue with completely cutting him off is that we have 50/50 legal custody (I have sole physical). I do not force her to talk/respond to his texts but at the same time I don’t say he cannot see her if he is up here. Although, I do tend to talk to her first (not that he knows that because he would freak out). He believes that I have always given her too much freedom or say in her life and her feelings/emotions. It’s so sad to think that even if she were to express herself to him, he would find a way to blame me somehow and say I am trying to make her hate him.
I’m sorry you have to go through that! My dad was the same way, I saw him more then your daughter sees her dad but I hated going over there. If you want to take it there you can always go to court to reduce his visitation. They will interview your daughter to see her point of view and once they learn how she feels then they most likely will reduce it. My dad tried to get more visitation with me so he took my mom to court, I did an interview and told them I love my dad but I don’t like being there. They ended up not granting it and thankfully it wasn’t too bad because I turned 18 a few months later. Why he waited until a couple months before I turned 18 we don’t understand but oh well. But yeah, if you have 50/50 custody then do not cut him off. Sorry, I wasn’t aware of that before. He can use that against you farther along if something comes up
I have held off going back to court. I figure since he is the one who moved so far away, he should be the one to pay to go back and have his parenting time fixed for the new living arrangements he purposely put himself in.
It’s not even like he was relocated for work or anything. He CHOSE to move so far away for his own personal reasons. He’s just such a mess.
I know he loves our daughter, I know he is capable of being a good father. I’m just afraid it is getting to the point where it may be too late because she already holds all this resentment
Yeah that’s very true! Unfortunately if it is too late then that’s his own fault. To this day I still don’t talk to my dad, we text on holidays but that’s about it. Which is fine with me. If he wanted to be there he would’ve but he chose otherwise until for him it was too late. My mom was there and still is to help me through everything and I’m very grateful for it. I’m sorry you both have to go through that, but it sounds like she’ll be great no matter the outcome with a momma like you 
Thanks love!
It’s just so heart breaking. I also have a rocky relationship with my dad. We’ve worked to build it but it’s never gotten to where it should have been. Never wanted that for my child.