You walk away your children will be better off for it. Go now before it gets worse. Save your sanity. Abuse is not ok.
You decide that you deserve more than this and that you matter and make the decision to make a change for yourself.
Do what’s best for YOU .
Should have never married him
3 Likes
You just do it. Just walk away and never look back. Close that chapter of your life so the next one can begin.
4 Likes
You remind yourself daily that your kids are watching a toxic relationship and they don’t deserve to accept that anymore than you do. Good luck
2 Likes
You leave FOR your children. They know a lot more than you think they do about the situation. They can feel that mommy and daddy don’t love each other. What if they catch him hitting you? What if he goes back to drugs? This situation is not healthy for them
4 Likes
Don’t know how you could have got married in the first place " you need to just leave & make a better home for your children "
I would’ve left 3 years ago…
The kids will be fine. Do your life and find happiness everything else will fall into place.
1 Like
I’m sorry but if your first line is “our relationship has never been okay”. … I’m not reading further and you should already know the answer to whatever you’re asking… like what???
3 Likes
Leave and make a new life for you and your kids.
Ask yourself if you would want your kids to stay in a shitty marriage like this for their kids. If the answer is no then leave
Is easy pack your thing and leave,
He is physically abusing you and you need to protect your family
In love or no longer in love, you should’ve left a long time ago.
Sooooooo why did you even get married??? Why are you even still married??? Do you have any self worth???
2 Likes
Uhm you should have left after you caught him cheating. You really should have left after he hit you. That is not ok!Just walk away.
1 Like
You will not look bad for leaving, if you stay you will look stupid.
I left a bad situation I was married with 3 kids prior and then we had 1 together. I stayed way longer then I should have it was awful for all of us. I finally had enough and I left. My kids were upset at first because they didn’t understand and I didn’t want to bash him to them but over time they realized how much happier we were. They started really laughing again, we all did. I learned so much about myself and my kids. Hardest decision I ever made but the BEST decision. Sometimes you can’t get past those thing it’s just too much damage done. I felt selfish but in the long run I was becoming a better woman and mother and it greatly strengthened my relationship and life with my kids. It’s gonna be okay, your not a bad Mom. 5 years later I found an amazing man and me and my kids have never been happier.
7 Likes
If you stay those girls are gunna be raised seeing mom unhappy and treated like shit and they will also find the same men … teach them their worth by standing proud of your worth. Get the hell outta there he sounds like trash and put your 7 year olds life in literal danger your whole world could have changed that night he drove high and drunk thankfully it did not but right then I would have packed up and kids and bounced. Absolutly not ok.
It will be better for kids to grow up without conflict between parents
I saw each scenario as I would have ended it right there. Staying is hard. Leaving is hard. But what’s harder is not realizing you’re setting the precedent for how your children will view relationships later on in life. Leave if you can. There’s so much “no” here. The biggest being that he put a child in danger driving under the influence. What you allow will continue. And by staying, you’re sending the message that it’s ok, even if your words say it’s not.
1 Like
You just leave and don’t look back!
easy… jou gott a job. gett out he will never change.
And u married him why
1 Like
Leave him and start over. Run
This has so many red flags. Leave please. You let him cheat on you multiple times and endanger your child…what the actual eff are you doing. Stop degrading yourself and give your head a shake
1 Like
You pick a date, pack up and leave.
3 Likes
You just need to leave if you can’t 100% forgive him it’ll tear your marriage apart trust me I know I’ve been thru similar issues you need to do what’s best for you staying with him bc you have kids will make you miserable and resent them I hope everything works out for you and you deserve better
1 Like
Just pack up yours and your kids stuff load it into a uhaul and drive into the sunset and don’t look back
5 Likes
I can’t question you. I stayed in a situation like this for 18yrs. I was ashamed, beaten down mentally and yes diagnosed with stock Holm syndrome. He didn’t show his true colors for quite some time. And I was young and naive. It took time obviously even after I left and moved into my home to fully understand. I kept going back to him. It wasn’t about money, sex, security, because we had a daughter together etc. I was literally so beaten down that I allowed him to get into my head and make me feel worthless and that he would be the only one to accept me. Hunny my best advice to you is this: look for an apt for you and your kids. Make your job aware of the situation (you’ll be surprised how your employer and Co workers will have your back). Get into therapy. Get your kids into therapy. Some can come to your home or you can do video chats at your convenience. Put money aside in a separate account if you don’t already have one. Figure out what you’re willing to keep or let go in your home. Marketplace has alot of low priced or free things that will make your new home beautiful. Get an attny. Start custody and visitation proceedings. There’s alot of legal aide available that will help you. Call saf or Vera house or whatever domestic groups are in your area. They will help you BTW and sometimes even help move you and pay for your deposit on your apt. Contact social svc see what they have available. You can do alot of this online or set up a time to go there so it doesn’t interfere with work. Make sure all birth certificates and social security cards are locked up and accessible to you. Document everything. Good bad etc. Judges like to see things not just hear them. When it’s time for you to leave make sure you have your attny and all advocates for you and your kids on the same page and go. That’s the best information I can give to you. Keep safe and stay strong 
You won’t be a bad mom for leaving. I feel as if the kids will suffer more if you stay. Sometimes a split up home is better than one that’s full of negativity kids can sense tension in a home between parents. I’ve had ppl tell me they were happy their parents split up rather stay together un happy. Just do what’s best for you and your kiddos. And good luck!
3 Likes
Girl go! Get out. Now. You’re not a bad mom for “tearing” your fault apart. You’re enabling him bc you won’t leave. It won’t change long. Don’t settle. Abuse is abuse. Get yourself and your kids out. Even if you need to go to a shelter. Tell the police or a trauma hotline for domestic abuse. They can help. Don’t worry about his feelings bc he didn’t worry about yours or your kids. Good luck love.
2 Likes
Ladies we shouldn’t be questioning or blaming or making her feel bad. Not one of us knows exactly what has happened behind closed doors. We just got a brief synopsis of the situation. We should listen and be empathetic. Not being rude or nasty but this is one of the many reasons women and or men don’t speak out on this because of ridicule and judgment. Would you want someone saying this to your mom, sister, daughter, niece, etc. No you wouldn’t. So please keep an open mind. I see alot of strong women on here and that’s awesome so let’s help her be strong and fix her crown.
You can’t. You had a child with him. First move, file divorce and child custody. You can move out, but you’ll be stuck battling or co-parenting for a long time.
1 Like
He’s unpredictable he’s scary sex drugs drinking Anger issues is he bipolar and you your worried what the kids think that your making a judgment call to get away from this oh and there are a lot of bipolar s who take meds and are fine people don’t wNt to offend them
Share it on FB. See what happens. Or…
How about you think how you want to be treated and go from there. If respect isn’t on the menu, leave the table.
2 Likes
I stayed for the longest time for the kids…but it started effecting the kids as well…their not blind…they need piece of mind …leave girl…go.
4 Likes
If you stay your children will grow up to think it’s okay to be treated that way. If it was your child telling you that all this happened to them, would you want them to stay? Of course not! It would be better for not only you but your children as well if you left.
1 Like
He’ll never change. Accept it or leave.
2 Likes
Leave ? Run … run like the wind . What kind of father figure is he providing for your kids ?
2 Likes
Don’t do it alone have a friend help you get aeay
I am trying to figure out why you stayed so long. You saw the red flags, then it got physical, you stayed. Now he stopped doing the stupid stuff and you are trying to see how you can leave. If you don’t want to be there, leave! No judgement, I was just wondering the rational for staying until now. I would recommend both of you seeing someone to learn how to co-parent, He will need to help with child support so the pay cut you are taking can be supplemented. If the kids see y’all being civil it will make it easier for them when you leave. Good luck and next time pay attention to all the red flags.You should not even think about you being considered a “bad” Mom. Take care of you and the kids. Be Blessed.
1 Like
I have no advice as to leaving your husband,but in marriage, you go through periods that you sometimes aren’t in love with your other 1/2. It happens. Your feelings may return. If you still love him you can talk to a therapist, or wait awhile & see. When I went through it, I faked it until I made it. It took a while, it’s gotten much better for us.
whats wrong with you ?..do u want to bring up your children around him ?..just leave .
Would you want your kids to live this life with their spouse…pack up , it’s time to go .
He hit you was your first fb lag to leave no man should put his hands on you get out it will get worse. And you not in love and yal don’t have sex best advice his pack and get out. 
sent your way. Best time to leave when his sober that way he be straight and you can talk to him and I would be blunt with him
Your kids would rather be in a split happy home home then a together broken home. Kids sense happiness and they also since sadness. Your kids would rather see u happy.
1 Like
Not a good role model for your child. Your letting your child to think that his behaviour is normal and ok.
I’m not sure why you even asked this question
I was on a similar situation, and I stayed to long. I thought I was doing the right thing for my kids by giving them a mom and dad in the home together and so on. I was wrong and there were years I couldn’t take back. When I left I gave my children a voice. Hearing how they weren’t happy, they knew I was not happy, and what they saw I thought they didn’t, I cried for days. They had to go to counseling and emotionally and mentally had suffered through some trauma. Do your kids and yourself the best thing you can and leave. Never go back, and don’t let anyone guilt trip you. Know your worth queen. Heal, shine, and be free. You deserve to enjoy life and those babies do too.
2 Likes
The fact that he has hit you, cheated and put your child in danger should be enough for you to leave. You aren’t ripping your family apart. HE did that. Ask yourself this. Do you want your children to see this type of relationship as normal? Because if by staying that’s exactly what they will think and someday when they’re older they’ll date someone just like him because that’s what they’ll know as normal. Get out before he does too much damage to the children and before he kills you because if he’ll hit you once he’ll do it again. It won’t get better. RUN.
2 Likes
Leave. Staying will only hurt the kids more
And you knew BEFORE marriage and chose him anyway…
2 Likes
It’s hard to walk away but for the sake of your kids and your sanity you have to …
Therapy will help you decide.
Go to individual and couples therapy. This does not mean you have to stay or go but it will help clear your mind and if anything help you two co-parent and communicate. You need time to heal and process everything.
You just leave. Would you rather your kids grow up in a toxic love environment?
Start saving an emergency fund, sell what you can and that can be your deposit on a new place. You already know you need to leave for the safety of your children.