Just found out I am pregnant and am a mess

So I have a 21 month old little boy & just found out I’m almost 8 weeks pregnant. Can I have some encouragement because I’m a mess right now knowing my son won’t have my full attention anymore because of the baby. My SIL just had her second born September 30th & her first born doesn’t want anything to do w her anymore since the baby’s home. I’m just a mess in a half

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Ahh it’s hard going from one to two. I’d speak excitedly to the older one, don’t speak anything negative at all. Try to involve him as much as you can in taking care of the new baby.

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I think all children are different and your child might not be like your SIL’s child. My daughter was 2.5yo when I had my son and she loved him and she was the same with me. Try not to worry so much and good luck :heart:

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My toddler completely changed when I brought the baby home. She was 2 years and 3 months.
That was 5 months ago. Still in the trenches.

I had my 2nd and 3rd with the same age gap and she adores her little brother. It was only hard for her as she is a very cuddly child so it was hard to cuddle her and do things with a newborn but, I figured it out.

Like hold ing the newborn and having her lay between my legs and cuddle my legs and I would run my hand through her hair.

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You’ll be fine and so will your little boy. Make him part of the process. Let him feel the kicks when they come. He can talk and sing to the baby in your womb. Once your new baby is here let him help you with diapers, feeding, turning pages as you read together.

With any luck being this close they will entertain each other no end and be the best of friends. Lean on friends and family to provide special times with your older one while you tend to baby. We got a present “from the baby” for our older one when the younger one was born. At the beginning our son was so excited:”she is MY baby!”

Just take your vitamins, get as much sleep as you can and spend time with your firstborn now. You’ll find you are more relaxed this time around because you know what to expect.

Because they’ll be close in age they can enjoy many of the same activities as they get older. Playgrounds, splash pads & baby pools, cartoons, etc.

You got this! With luck your hormones will stabilize a bit after a while and you’ll be able to enjoy this new pregnancy. Just talk to your doctor about birth control after this birth. You’re always super fertile right after you’ve had a baby.

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I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with my second son. He was only 6 months old when I found out and I was devastated. To top it off, my second was a birth control baby so I took preventative measures and it still happened. But God had other plans and they were far better than what I had in mind. It was through that season that I learned that love doesn’t divide… it multiplies. I encourage you to sit on that statement and take it to heart. This child isn’t only a precious gift to you, but also to his/her sibling. I encourage you to include your oldest in as much as you can (can you bring me a diaper? Can you help me feed baby? You’re such a great big brother! Oh, look how much baby loves you! I love you both so very much and I am so grateful God gave you baby so you can love him/her too!) My boys are completely opposite from one another and still the best of friends. You get to play a big part in nurturing that development of closeness from the beginning. It’s gonna be ok Momma! You’re about to find out how wonderful it can be! I have three, the first two have a 15 month gap and the last two are 6 years apart. I got the best of both worlds and I can promise that if you care NOW that your child not feel they are missing out, that can fuel you to ensure he doesn’t feel that way. To include him and make it an incredibly positive experience… and to also have patience with him if he has moments that he feels jealousy or less than… it’s clear you have so much love in your heart so though I think it’s important to be able to feel WHATEVER feelings you have, just take heart. I congratulate you because I have been you and I know youre about to have such a beautiful opportunity to understand true love on a deeper level :heart: Congratulations on your newest addition and I pray you have such a wonderful experience as your family grows :heart:

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Don’t judge your feelings by a family members experience
When I had my second
My daughter was happy because every time I fed him , bathed him and changed his nappy
My daughter would do the same with her baby doll
Have your child help you by copying you

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My eldest 2 are 10 months apart. Both are 11 till November lol it’s hard but it’s the best, the routine saved me.

There’s 2y4m between my 2nd and 3rd. She wasn’t interested in him at first. She’d have a 5second cuddle then say get it off me :sweat_smile:. As they’re growing, they absolutely adore each other. They fight like crazy and they can’t share at all! But they love each other so much and they’ll always have that bond being so close. It’s hard, some days are tough, they’ll fight over anything, but then they’ll be spinning round and playing together. They torment each other and me :roll_eyes: but They’re 3&16m now & I wouldn’t have it any other way! :white_heart:

Mine are 18 months apart my 1st and 2nd and they are so close, I made. Sure my oldest was involved with everything and we never had any issues I’ve now got 6 children and no jealousy or anything you will smash it x

Every child is different. They might be extremely close.

There’s only 16 months between my two youngest children. When I bought the baby home my little one was def not a happy camper and didn’t want to know her sister… for all of a week. As soon as she held her little hand, they became besties. I kept my little one involved in everything and made sure that when baby was napping I could spend that time with my little one. They’re now 11 and 12, still thick as thieves. But the biggest thing to managing two small children together was routine! Every kid is going to be different but it’s usually a transition period and most kids eventually come around.

There’s not even a full year between my oldest two daughters. 2/27/12 & 2/13/13. The guilt at first ate me alive that I had a second baby so quick. Now almost 13 years later-they’re best friends. They are best friends. Like they’re just a package deal if one goes the other isn’t far behind or they don’t want to go lol. I think 2 years is an amazing age gap! Include your oldest in all the things, if you are excited then they will be excited! They’re going to mirror however you’re acting toward it. Let them help change diapers, make a bottle or sit with you while you nurse. Anything you can include them on :slightly_smiling_face: it’ll be okay, I promise!

Should have thought of that before you got pregnant.

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Don’t worry you will be OK it’s not what you planned but it will take time get the little one involved now as in talk to baby read to baby with you sing to baby then make a fuss of little one and when baby comes do the same involve with baby passing you things and being the baby’s best buddy good luck xx

Just be thankful that you are able to conceive as some women don’t get that opportunity. Everything happens for a reason. My Mom had all 4 of her oldest kids between 13 and 15 months apart. You and your son will be fine.

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My kids are 28 months apart and they are best friends. I never separated them for like play dates . If one had a play date they both went. They went to daycare together. I get asked alot if they always get along so well. It maybe a little hard at first but it will get easier as time goes on

I found out I was pregnant with twins when my daughter was six months old. There’s 14 months between them, there was no jealousy at all, she loves them. They’re 9 and 10 years old now

You come to a new normal. My second son was born when my oldest was 2. They may act that way in the beginning but then they get used to their sibling. Once you get used to having two you start making time for just you and the older one. You’ll be fine. Mine are 6 & 8 now and always together.

Have a plan on how to keep your older one involved with the baby. Avoid saying you can’t do something for or with your older because of the baby.

My 2 youngest are 14 months apart it was rough at first but they are so close they have a bond like no other they are 13 and 14 years old now

I cried everytime I looked at my first born(2 at the time) while I was pregnant with my second, but MAN, when she was born and my little boy looked at her little face.:face_holding_back_tears::face_holding_back_tears: He would hold her and sing little songs to her, always ask if she needs to eat/be changed/etc. always worrying about her. Now, she just turned 5 a week ago, and they are literally the best of friends.

I think the biggest thing when I new baby comes in, make sure you’re spreading your attention. Involve the older one as much as you can. Cuddle them a little extra. When people come over to meet the new baby, make sure you tell them to happily greet your toddler first.

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My boys are 2 1/2 years apart and they are the best of friends at 23 & now 26. I hope your kids are as close as mine are.

Congratulations! I know things seem tough now, but that part is temporary and you will adjust.

Your children will have each other as they grow up. You will all create so many beautiful memories. They will be so happy to have a sibling especially later in life. Your babies will have each other to rely on when you can’t be there.

Please don’t assume your experience will be like your SILs. Although it is common for jealousy to happen when new baby comes, it’s not always the case. And if it is, it will pass. Just remember, it’s temporary and you will adjust.

Congratulations!

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Kids a resilant they come around initial jealousy is normal but it gets better no worries momma it will be okay. I have 10 kids all 1 yr apart im still alive and so are they

My girls are 14 and 17. I planned that, I wanted them close in age. When my second came i let the oldest help with whatever she wanted to do. I made days for each of them still to this day and I make days for the 3 of us as well.

My kids are 10m 6d apart. It will be okay! It will take some adjusting for everyone and will take patience from you and your partner for your first little one. Do stuff with JUST your first, when you’re physically able to, before and after you deliver little man #2. Play with just your first little guy in his room or play area. Let your first help with things for your second once he’s here. “Hey can you go get me that diaper for your brother?! Thank you! You’re such a good helper to mommy!” Obviously don’t neglect little man #2 lol but once you get the juggling down and everyone adjusts, it will be okay! My boyfriend/their dad had to help a lot more with my 2nd even though she was the new one. Bc she had colic and I had had 2 csections in less then 1 year and my first was glued to my face.

I had my second daughter71/2years after my 1st then had my third 13months later I was so worried . It was hard but I got through it and they kept each other company in the garden and so on . So stop worrying and you will be fine

Congratulations. It’s natural to feel like this. Once your baby is born your first born will be so happy, you will wonder what you were worried about.
Best Wishes

You should be thankful and grateful that your children will have each other, I have a three year old and I see his loneliness sometimes and it kills me, it took me 15 years and lots of fertility help, nothing worked and he came without me trying, I want more but I’m old now and nothing is working so be really happy your child will have someone for life even after your gone. The jealousy faze is only temporary, just teach your first that his sibling is a gift, a prize, teach them to be best friends, encourage help from your first, praise them. I don’t know what I would do without my sibling we’re close and I would do anything for them. I loved having my sibling growing up and now it’s even stronger.

If you are a mess now I want to see you when they are teenagers !! You poor girl!!!

Start now. Get him I’m a Big Brother book. Have him rub your tummy. Talk positively about his new role. Tell him how exciting this will be. Start now…

There’s just under 2 years for my older 2 children and honestly they grey up inseparable and had the best bond right uoto teenage years, boy n girl, kids adapt and will love each other and u will love each them just as much as the other, don’t compare ur kids or there bond with u to others, nothing better than another wee baby to love x

If you act like your first should resent your second it will rub off! Let him “help” and remember to get DH to hold the baby so you can hug your eldest.

My girls are 18 months apart and my oldest daughter just adores her younger sister I include her in everything and they just love eachother watching them smile at eachother just warms my heart my oldest will be 2 in November she’s the best big sister