My almost 10 year daughter still constantly gets out of bed. We have set boundaries and told her there is no reason to get out of bed unless she has to use the bathroom. She’s supposed to get a drink before she goes. She still gets out of bed and asks for water. Gets out and says “I forgot to put away/grab xyz.” She comes into our bedroom and says she’s hot/cold, sick, going to throw up (this one is used quite regularly for no reason), asks to sleep on the couch (have no clue why), there’s a bug in her room, the list of reasons she gets up is ridiculous. This happens at all hours of the night, 2-3am, it doesn’t matter. Stqrts at bedtime, 8pm and will continue all night, every night. She wakes me (dad sleeps like a rock) and baby brother with her knocking and loud tone. If I don’t answer her knocking, she barges in. We live in an apartment so bedroom doors have no locks. We already have the rule about knocking before entering. How can we stop this behavior? I hate getting woken up so many times during the night. I feel like she’s too old for this behavior.
If it were me I’d try talking to her about the why, something like “we know those aren’t the real reasons you’re getting out of bed. But since you’re having a hard time listening, there must be some reason. Let’s talk about it and work it out together.” If that doesn’t work or there is no valid reason for the behavior I would implement consequences. As a parent if I gave you direction and choose not to follow, there is a consequence (i.e. maybe no device for the day, or maybe they need to help you with some cleaning they normally wouldn’t have…because you are overly tired. Nothing major but a consequence to their actions so hopefully they think before they do next time). Good luck Mama 
I remember being terrified of my room at the same age. They grow up fast. At ten when she gets up why does she have to come with you or ask to sleep on the couch? Can she be given permission to go sleep on the couch without waking you up? She’s old enough.
Sounds like she just needs a later bedtime cause 8 pm for a 10 year is ridiculous honestly and she’s old enough to know when she’s tired or not tired.
My daughter is also 10 and we recently just went through this. Putting a fan in her room has help to keep her asleep and with the noise in the background everything doesn’t wake her up
Did you ever think maybe she feels left out if baby is sleeping with you and you are closing your door at night? I am a mom of 4 children and I have never closed my door at night. For children, that can be a sense that they are not welcome. Maybe just talk to your child instead of your concern that she always just waking you and baby up.
Anxiety. When did it start? Try a fan for a white noise back ground. Ask her if anything in her room scares her, maybe a night light. Check with family doctor also. 
Just my opinion but maybe she is going to bed too early. My 5 year old goes to bed at 830 and my 11 year old goes to bed at 10:30-11 depending on if he has a busy day the next day(he plays several sports). Try allowing extra time since she is waking up in the middle of the night.
She could just be a normal 10 year old who wakes up and doesn’t know how to put herself back to sleep. I don’t think every hiccup in a childs behavior requires a diagnosis. Talk to her, tell her EVERYONE needs good sleep and she can’t wake up the house. Set up some calm music she can turn on, or help her practice some breathing relaxation exercises she can do to quiet herself and go back to sleep.
It does sound like a mix of anxiety and too early of a bed time. We don’t have “bed times” in our house. But all three (3, 8, and 10 years old) know that 11pm is the cap off for devices/tv/internet and while yes they can stay up however late they want, they must be in their room and quiet so they’re respectful of us who are asleep/enjoying our own quiet alone space. It works out nicely. The older two play together, read each other stories, whatever.
A few things for starters… 1. She could be having nightmares and 2. Her saying her stomach hurts is a sign of anxiety. It’s your job as a mama to figure out the why and listen to your child’s cry for help instead of constantly turning her away.
Does she have a night light or anything? She may just be scared of her room! She may feel safer in the living room, maybe let her sleep on the couch…
First 8pm may be too early depending on when she has to get up. Second why can’t she sleep on the couch? Have her take a water bottle to bed with her. Set up night lights or projectors. Let her have quiet reading time up until a reasonable hour and stop electronics at least 30mins before she needs to be asleep. 10 yr old should get around 9hrs of sleep each night so plan accordingly. Going to sleep at 8pm sets the bodys expectations be up at 5am.
Just sounds like she’s scared,I always leave my door open so if kids do wake up during the night I will more than likely wake up anyway & they feel safer knowing momma is closer/more accessible if they do get scared.
Sounds like anxiety to me. I agree with Samantha, talk with her pediatrician.
My son suffers from anxiety. He’s always seeing shadows that look like bugs and spiders , he hears scary sounds (wind) or has bad dreams. He’s gotten better at it but we keep the hallway light on and it’s near his bedroom. His fear of bugs is so bad he can’t take a bath alone. But she hasn’t talked to you guys about what’s really going on? If she’s asking to sleep on the couch too it’s probably because something in her room is bothering her.
She has anxiety!! I did the same growing up. My daughter did too she’s diagnosed with social anxiety.
Sounds like my son who has severe anxiety disorder. When his anxiety is up he has stomach aches(going to throw up or stomach is hurting), temperature fluctuations and trouble sleeping.
First- take a second to think when it started. She may have had a nightmare that she is still thinking about and she’s feeling stressed. If the issue is you don’t want to be woken up. Setup an area she can lay quietly in your room. Tell her, if you wake up and just can’t stay in her room, you can quietly come in and lay right here.
When I was 10 years old I would have been scared if my mom shut her bedroom door at night.
If you can redecorate her room the way she wants hope this helps
Get her doing some chores around the house after homework is done,You’ll b amazed how tired she’ll b
Maybe jealousy of the baby, looking for attention if nothing else is wrong, after talking to Dr. Etc
Put a night light in her room - she may of the dark.
So my 4 year olds bed time is 8:30. Start there bud. 8pm for a 10 year old? No wonder.
There could be more to it.
My five year old does this
Maybe leave her bedroom door open. A nightlight on. She is 10 years old. Bedtime at 8 pm is ridiculous. No wonder she doesn’t sleep all night.
Who cares if she wants to sleep on the couch? Who cares if she wakes up thirsty? Do you not have these options? She could have anxiety. That’s what it sounds like.
Try taking her to her pediatrician could be something else going on with her. Could be anxiety many factors are possible. But her pediatrician can most definitely help you or point you in the direction of someone who can.
Wow all these people saying 8pm is early for bedtime I have a 8,B and nearly 10,G they are in bed between 7.30 and 8.30 if they go to bed any later I have 2 very tired kids the next morning. I let my kids have drink bottle in bedroom so they don’t have that excuse to get up, try white noise or let her read a book for half hour in bed lights out at 8.30, light on in her room and talk to her. This is the age you need to let them know she can talk to you about anything. Maybe try making a mum and daughter bonding day let her know your mum first and best friend second. Maybe the door close is giving her the wrong message
Until you can figure out something else. Maybe put a little made up bed on the floor and if she gets scared or whatever the reason is she can quietly come in and lay on the floor without waking you up.
Have you tried actually discussing this with your daughter??
There could be many reasons!
She may be an insomniac, having night terrors, having growing pains, anxiety - the list is endless.
Provide her with a bedside lamp and something interesting to read if she insists there’s nothing wrong but keep telling her to stay in her room unless it’s an emergency.
A few takeaways from your post:
-sounds like she has a fear or anxiety that she isn’t able or willing to speak on. Has something happened to her when she has been alone/at a sleepover/etc?
-if you have a rule about knocking, then you need to answer the door when she knocks. It’s your job to be there for her regardless of the day or time. That’s motherhood.
- when my girls were up often and having separation anxiety, I got a Nugget play couch, and told them that theywere welcome to come into my room and sleep on it when they were feeling scared, no questions asked.
- extend her bed time. She’s old enough now that she can stay up past 8, but I wouldn’t let her be on screens at that point, as it activates the brain versus shutting it down.
-look into a sound machine or something like a Yoto player where she can listen to an audiobook as she is falling asleep.
Get her a google home or something that plays white noise. I just play rain sounds for sleep and my kids sleep much better. (We all do…myself included:joy:
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Also can let her have a little nightlight and keep a book nearby so she can read til she sleeps if she isn’t tired. I give my older ones that option as well.
8pm is too early. I have an 11 year and his bedtime his 9pm. He sleeps with a fan and night light because he hates the dark. Maybe she is scared of the dark. I definitely feel like she has anxiety. And maybe she needs to be more active during the day so she is tired at night.
Everyone saying the bedtime is too early. It might not be- households all have different schedules and routines. We are up between 5am and 6am to get ready for work & school. My kids by 8pm are dead and need to go to bed (my 13yo on nights she isn’t at her extra curricular activities, is sometimes in bed by 8pm).
I would say there is probably more to it, potentially anxiety- 10 is that weird age where they aren’t quite a pre teen and still a child. Their body starts changing, hormones etc., it could be a whole slew of different things.
Id start by talking to her and being a parent. Asking the hard questions.
Asking permission to sleep on the couch? Let her sleep on the damn couch.
I raised 3 kids with a strict bedtime of 9 pm, they could watch tv til they fell asleep but had to stay in their room. They all survived.
I told my son he could get up but not wake me. His options are to do a puzzle or read a book. This has helped with him waking me up.
Sounds like shes not tired enough for bedtime. My 9yr old can stay awake for a long time:(
Nip it in the bud right now !
A good old fashioned spanking when a kid doesn’t listen usually does the job
Is she getting enough active time during the day. My daughter is 9 and goes to school, karate then plays hard till 8 pm. Comes in takes a shower and relaxes watching a movie in her bed till she falls asleep then I go in and turn the tv off. She gets up at 7 every morning.
My bedtime for my kiddos 6 & 7 is 7:30 pm.
For my 2 year old twins it 7. They sleep just fine