My 12yo son had been such a good child until recently. He doesn’t listen & talks to me so disrespectfully most of the time now. I’m a single mum & he started high school this year. We get into arguments a lot now because of his behaviour. I have also tried sitting down with him on occasions and talking to him in a calm manner. Just don’t know what to do anymore, it’s just so upsetting.
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We have to realize that youth process things differently then us adults. We often need to take a step back and put our self in their spot and explain things in a way they might understand better. Giving examples helps. Having talks works better then arguing. Working through a situation and giving clear guidelines to what you expect and the consequences if they don’t follow through often helps a youth to know boundaries. Make sure u stick to those boundaries your self as well. Make sure to give phrase where phrase is warranted. Youth thrive on positive reinforcement.
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Try thinking what you did wrong? He may be rebelling. Try to hear and listen to him. Or just be with him without talking first. Let him do the talking.
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Your son may not be adjusting to school very well. Makesure he knows You’re on his side and he can call you in for backup. Other than that piece of advice I’d say a lot of that may be hormone related. So take it with a grain of salt but don’t ignore it
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He is developing male hormones, if his father is not involved in his life then you need to find a male he can talk to about the changes in his body and what to expect, even if it is just a doctor. What guys go through during puberty is far different than girls, testosterone makes them more aggressive, unlike us girls that become more emotional. Be patient this is not him being a jerk intentionally, be extra loving without smothering him. If there is no male he can talk to look up male puberty stages educate yourself and him, maybe find some books for him to read
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A 12 year old is still a child. Sounds pretty normal for his age tbh
How is he in high school at 12 years old?
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This normal teenager behaviour hormones and they change
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It may be hormonal but I would speak to him about school. When my daughter was being bullied she was so mean to me.
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It’s normal . It’s the age stop arguing with him. Let him talk. Shut up for once and listen to him
Is it arguing or is it trying to communicate and youve been conditioned that if kids aren’t obedient then they’re disrespectful
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i actually feel your pain, my son speaks to me quiet awfully at times , i feel that its age and hormone related , there stuck between kid to adult relationship and adult to adult relationship.
we speak at them like kids , they speak back like adults, we forget they are learning all new boundaries around there age and sometimes we have to figure out how to communicate effectively for there age.
that is something i am struggling with my self and trying to work on.
my son is also adhd and ASD so he is not only smart but his brutally honest lol 
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12yr and in highschool? He doesn’t need to be in highschool yet, at least in a highschool. Lol. Hormones, etc.
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Lay him over your lap and spank his ass. That has become extinct but it works
Whr is the father at?maybe have a male friend or a male relative talk to him smtimes kids dnt think we were kids ourselfs at 1time…
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Those teen years are tough. Stay strong.
Teen years with hormones. I have 3 in that stage. Just listen to what he is saying. He wants to be heard. Try to keep your mom attitude under control. Lord knows we all got it. I’ve done that and mine has gotten better and will also talk to me about anything. Sometimes he throws a little fit and storms off. I let him. When I react to that it makes it worse. Us adults have our moments like that too. We often expect our children to be perfect but are we ourselves perfect? No, we react too.
He need some kind of make influence weather it’s Ned group at church they would find a spot for him I’m sure or extra clubs around maybe with kids his age
let rod do the talking. Spear the rod and spoil the child. He’s testing your limits to see how far he can push you
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He is only 12 and in high school? Maybe him hanging around much older kids is having an affect on him.
High school at 12? Maybe I’m missing something I was 14 when I was a freshman
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I would have never spoke to my parents the way kids do now. I would’ve got knocked into the next room.
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I grew up with six brothers:
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You stand firm on what is and isn’t tolerated. Not only are you training him on how to treat You, but also any future ladies in his life.
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You give consequences immediately to that inappropriate action. Every time. We did pushups and extra chores.
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He does need a male figure around him. It has nothing to do with you, but it is a need. Big Brothers Big Sisters is a program he could get with - but there are a lot more. Talk to the school to see what they have, most have partnerships with these.
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Start watching his sleep cycles - many times kids at his age are hitting not just hormones but growth spurts. Extra sleep may be needed. Remove any electronics from his room, and shut off the internet after 9pm. Kick him to bed 30 min early, see if he’s out faster. Sleep deprivation impacts both hormone levels and behavior issues.
Hormones, stresses from school/peers, (lots of outside stresses & influences from there) trying to find his way transitioning from a child to a teen (young man)… it’s all that and more I’m sure. Try to keep a balance of open communication, a safe space to be human (meaning none of us are perfect. Not even us parents. Show him you accept and support all of him, even on his not so pleasant days ), and still sticking to your rules and boundaries. Hang in there and hang on for this bumpy rollercoaster ride of his teen years, and remember you’ve laid the foundation, you know he’s a good child, he’s just going through changes…
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High School is tough - and at 12 even tougher - sounds like maybe one getting bullied OR demonstrating a learned behavior from HS. Kids act out - for many many reasons. You’ve tried talking with him - next I’d check with teachers & staff how his behavior at school is. Also, check out his friends - are they cool, lil’ sh!ts, or is he a lone wolf. Sometimes, growing pains aren’t always physical. 
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It’s the hormones I promise 
mom of a 15 almost 16 year teenage son and let’s just say us moms of teenagers need prayers and reassurance before we lose our minds. I started tasking my son with more chores and I’ve taken his ps5 away too. It’s helped to an extent. Ask the school how his behaviors are at school and in my opinion if he isn’t being disrespectful rude etc outside of the home then you’ve already done a good job and it just means at home is his safe place. I did ask the school also and they describe my son as a quiet happy helpful child but at home whoa I need prayers
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Hanging out with the wrong crowd or acting out about something that is going on in your lives now