My 12 year old is out of control

He was diagnosed with adhd PTSD anxiety depression and insomnia I've been with my husband now 4 years first 2 years him and my son bonded so well .... But when covid hit and schools went remote my son's behavior and his whole self took a turn for the worst with being so bad well last night my son was in the living room by his self play PS4 my husband was in the bedroom well my son swore at the game for loosing well my husband came out asking him what the heck was going on my son got pissed and broke a plate then took off to the kitchen where my husband was rastraing him and chockin him I walked thru the door yelled at my husband to get the fuck off of him and my son ran into the bathroom and my husband called the cops all the cops did was talk to my son then left .. I need advice I believe my son has a form of asburgers autism something I also want to know would you be ok with your husband chocking and restraining your son I need some advice... Especially where can I have my son eveliated
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 12 year old is out of control

Was your husband choking him or was he restraining him? Those are two very different things. And what did your son do that warranted your husband calling the cops on him?

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Not that it’s okay, but most kids that age cuss at video games. Your husband just should have told him not to say it again. The whole situation sounds like it escalated over something that’s not that serious. If your husband choked him then that’s abuse and he shouldn’t be around your son. Maybe your son isn’t the problem…maybe you as his mother should talk with him privately about what’s going on. :thinking:

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PTSD can cause these behaviors. What treatment is he getting for PTSD and Depression? He has 2 mental conditions. Also, most kids are not who they were before Covid. I work in schools kids are changed. We seem to forget that we have all been through something traumatic. Now let’s add delression and PTSD. Your husband handled video game cussing wrong. His other diagnosis explain his behavior Autisnm Spectrum Disorders are not the only explanation for explosive behaviors. You all need counseling on how to work through this stuff with him. A broken plate doesn’t warrant restraint and to many calls to the police could mean your son is removed from your home. Please get help for all of you. His conditiond effect the whole family.

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Seems like you need to keep an eye on your husband. Some thing sounds off. Especially with your son have PTSD

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Best to get him diagnosed and get him help

If your son broke a plate, was your husband restraining him because he continued the aggressive behavior towards your husband? Did he go after your husband and he restrained him to protect himself instead of being hit or hitting your son? My nephew is autistic and there have been times where restraining him was necessary to prevent him from hurting himself or others. The intensity helps him. He has sensory processing disorder too.

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I would be ok if he was hurting himself or your husband

Choking is 100% not part of restrictive practices. I have a son with level 3 asd and many other issues who can get pretty violent during meltdowns. The only time I will restrain is if he becomes a risk to himself or others. I do this in the least restrictive way possible, shortest time possible and explain why I am doing it, it is not supposed to be used as a punishment only to keep everyone safe.

If your husband done that to restraining him is completely wrong way to do it. I would be kicking him out the door and filing for divorce

You need to vet your sin assessed and you and your husband need parenting classes on how to raise special needs children. You’re husband sounds reactive and this isn’t going to help your son or your family get better.

Maybe yall should mind your own business when a person (14 old enough) cusses at a game, which is (normal) and maybe not go off the handle over something so harmless. It would be different if he was breaking shit because he lost the game, but no, your husband triggered a ptsd response. Maybe you should put blame on him and get your husband some help before you go blaming your son. Covid has been hard on kids, you have no idea. You all need therapy.

Your son is mentally ill and should be in therapy to learn to cope with his illnesses.
Your husband should be thrown out on the curb.

Does your husband do this often!? This could be causing a lot of negative reactions from your son.

Your kid is experiencing trauma, HE NEEDS THERAPY AND EXPOSURE THERAPY… OTHERWISE THIS BEHAVIOR WILL CONTINUE AS HE DOESN’T HAVE TH ABILITY TO REGUALTE HIS EMOTIONS
Also your husband is a POS, and if you don’t leave him your just as bad for allowing the behaviour