My home doesn’t feel like my home while he is here. How do I fix this? Is it fixable? Or do I leave his father? His father isn’t really doing much, other than keeping him close to his side while he is here. But when he has to use the bathroom, or run to the store, he acts up. If his father leaves the room, he acts up. He has spoken to him multiple times. He has spoken to his mother about it, and she says, “you’ll have to figure it out” she doesn’t punish him at her house for what he does here. It’s almost like when he leaves his actions are erased… what do I do?
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If your married to this man and have committed to being his step mom, you need to just that. That’s your home, where you are the adult. Children need boundaries and rules to thrive. Make sure though to let him know he is welcome. That’s his home part time I assume. Your a mother figure. Assert your self as so. Children should be taught to respect all adults. Not just there parents. And know if his mother isn’t helping parent, you can only do so much. Don’t stress things you can’t change. And embrace the things you can. Good luck with your situation.
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I would never say to him this is my house😗I would say we all live here we all need to respect each other and the home! I feel when a child is addressed rudely they will feel so left out and act out WE ARE OUR CHILDRENS VOICES!!!
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I mean it’s your house and I would put my foot down and lay down the ground rules if he doesn’t obey then he doesn’t come over plain and simple
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The bit in your question about leaving his father. Your hubby makes me wonder about your intentions. Good luck
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Then you need to do it
Set rules n punishment for him. He needs to respect you and your home
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You’re married to his dad. Work it out. Don’t be a step mom but let him know you’re there.
You need to explain to him that this is your house too and he needs to respect you and your rules if he can’t behave and be civil to you then he should not be welcomed into your home maybe come up.with consequences you.and your husband agree upon
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If setting boundaries n rules don’t work. Take time for yourself (a spa day) spend time away from him and his father…
You and your husband need to have a Come to Jesus meeting! Get some rules established and don’t let daddy, kiddo or x wife run roughshod over you! If daddy isn’t willing to do this…don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord splint ya!
Take him and do fun things with him. LOVE him. TALK to him. Ask him about his likes and dislikes. Let him help plan meals, help you shop, prepare the meal. Include him. Buy him something he wants when he acts properly. He is feeling torn and abandoned. He needs structure, routine, boundaries, discipline but most of all love, acceptance, praise and encouragement.
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Spair the rod and spoil the child does not work like Kimberly said whoop his Ass
Do nothing. You’re not his parent and he’s reminding you of that.
Suck it up! Be a Disneyland step- mom.
Are you Married to his Father? That Man Needs to SET THE TONE ABOUT HIM RESPECTING YOU AND YALL HOUSE. And if you’re NOT Married to the Father I’ll LEAVE him and His Demon Seed! Kid too DARN old to be Acting OUT! DON’T Never Ever Let anyone DISTURB YOUR PEACE! Don’t nobody have time for that! Happy WIFE HAPPY LIFE!
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You can’t expect his mom to punish him for something that didn’t happen at her home or in her presence. Sit him and your husband down and explain the rules, your expectations and the consequences if he can’t behave.
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You’re in a complicated position. No matter what the step-parent does, it’s a lose-lose battle. Don’t expect his mother to enforce consequences for something that happens in yours and your husband’s house. Have one last discussion with your husband and detail the exact behavior that you will no longer allow in that house. Detail what the consequences will be if he breaks those rules. Tell your husband that he has a decision, that either he can enforce it or you will. Tell your husband that him and forcing it will go a lot further. But it is your home and you need to take the emotion out of it and just have exact rules and exact consequences. Be prepared oh, you will piss a lot of people off. But you do not have to allow toxic behavior in the house, no matter what the situation is.
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Well the only thing that matters is support from his dad. If you don’t have that then nothing will work!
You and your husband need to sit down and set guidelines for that boy that he is ok with you also following through it can’t just be him you both need to be each others backup and get that youngin to respect your household. The more involved your husband let’s you be the better off the boy will respect you both. If the mother doesn’t like you serving a punishment then you tell her well you should help step up at her house … being a step parent is not for the weak so if you leave just because a kid is being a teenager then you probably shouldn’t have gotten with him in the first place. (Not saying It to be rude just stating a fact)
Sounds like he is wanting more attention from his dad. The worst thing you can do is run and tell his dad every time you feel he acts up. The more you make of it the more he’s going to do it… Try to form a bond with him by letting him know you got his back by not running to dad. Do something special just for him or let him help making a meal or picking where you go to eat. He just want to feel wanted. No his mom has nothing to do with what goes on at your house. You need to form some type of relationship with him. Maybe play a game or a video game. Ask him how to do something. He sounds like he’s just wanting attention
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Seems to me that mom is ok with what he does. She might be the one telling him to act that way. I have 4 step son’s ranging from 20 year’s old to 15 year’s old not once have they acted that way. The oldest was 16 when me and his dad got together til this day we all get along very well.
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A lot of times when kids act out it is for attention. Maybe he’s not getting enough at home. Kids will seek attention if they can’t get positive attention then they will act out. Plus 13 is a hard age anyway
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unless he’s hurting himself or some one else ignore him. he’s looking for his father’s attention because he’s unhappy about the situation. poor kids life got pulled apart. if you would leave his father because of his behavior then you obviously don’t love that man. when things are broken you fix them, don’t throw them away. instead of being upset and complaining about his behavior, try distracting him. maybe make him part of what you are doing. want to help me make dinner? bake cookies? plant flowers in the yard? or whatever you do. if you ignore his bad behavior like you don’t care he will stop. I’m not nuts. when my son was little whenever he didn’t get his way he would hit his head on a wall till I gave in. he was always black and blue. i thought he was crazy so I took him to the pediatrician and asked, he said walk away even if you have to step outside for a few mins. when it didn’t get my attention he stopped. took about 2 weeks.
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Set rules for him if he doesn’t follow them then you and his dad need to either punish him or give him time out
I hate when people say he’s not allowed at your house. It’s his dad’s house too!
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When you marry a man or woman with children you have to take it as a package deal or get out
His dad should step up to the plate and lay down the law. It’s his responsibility to defend their home and his wife. That kid will be as rotten as his dad lets him get away with.
Maybe for a bit, let him have a day with just his dad and then go home.