My 14-MO Daughter Pinches Herself Until She Bruises: Advice?

Food & Nutrition
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QUESTION:

Hey, moms! My 14-month-old for the past two months will not stop pinching her nipples.

I noticed shes leaving little bruises sometimes on her tater tots, which is why I’m trying to get her to chill out. All I find online is referencing breastfeeding moms with twiddling.

Any of you moms dealt with this? And what was your personal movement with it? I don’t mind it, but she’s being a little rough with it! Thanks."

RELATED QUESTION: How Can I Teach My Toddler Not to Hit or Bite?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Sadly, my now-20-year-old did this when she was younger… yes she was breastfed, it started when she was a little more than a month old. She would try to squeeze mine as she fed off the other. I’d move her hand away each time. So she began doing it to her own. Although at first I thought nothing of it, by the time she was two (still nursing) I realized what a bad habit this was. She only squeezed her right nipple as she’d nurse. Over time I’d redirect her physical behavior and try to give her something to keep her hands busy, but soon noticed she was doing it while watching TV, on car rides, or self-soothing to sleep. Unfortunately, she now has one huge nipple and one “normal” nipple. She hates it and is embarrassed by it. Her 18th birthday she decided to pierce her nipples so they were both “hard” looking constantly. Stop it while you can.”

“Honey, ask her doctor. People are so judgemental these days and the first thing most people think is she’s being abused. There are way too many negative Nancies out there and most of them probably don’t have kids.”

“Self-harm releases endorphins that help the individual feel better it becomes a coping mechanism. It can be difficult to treat children who self-harm because it is such an effective technique for the child. Regardless of the reason for the behavior whether emotional or social the harm becomes a part of who they are and how they identify themselves. Find out if there is a certain time that she does this? After not getting her way, ignored etc… It could be a way of getting your attention. It does however need to be addressed with the child’s doctor.”

“She may have an allergy or itchy tater tots… maybe show her how to put lotion on them…they are obviously bothering her. Take her to the doctor if you feel it’s not usual… don’t listen to these yahoos that wonder has she been touched… go the medical route first.”

“My daughter did this for months and it drove me crazy! I always kept a shirt on her but sometimes she would do it through her shirt. I just always told her please don’t pinch your boobies(she calls mine that). She literally just stopped one day. They are also very sensitive at that age, their whole body.”

“You could always put mittens on their hands; it won’t pinch as hard.”

“My 4yo calls them her ‘boobie knuckles’! Maybe a sensory thing? Does she express any other behaviour that isn’t typical?”

“Try giving her a blanket or something she can stroke instead to self-comfort.”

“Bandaids over them? I never had this problem but maybe if she can’t feel them she won’t grab them? Just a thought. Hope everything works out!!!”

“Maybe get her some squishy stress release toys! Right when you see her about to pinch, introduce a toy. Have her distracted with that. She’ll forget about it!”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

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I simply tell my daughter that she needs to leave her nipples alone and they are not for her to play with and that works for a couple days, and yes I have to tell her not to do it like 20 times in 5 mins but she gets tired of me saying it and stops, try a shirt or sweater too

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3

1st of all, using words and praises such as “tater tots” instead of the actual terms for body parts, is how sexual abuse and grooming is kept hidden. Use the proper terms with your kids.

90 Likes
4

Make sure she knows the real names for vagina, nipples, butt, I just want to point out how important that is. I would just tell her that she can do as she pleases, but be gentle so she doesn’t hurt herself. Do not shame her, it’s totally normal for them to check things out.

5

My daughter did this for months and it drove me crazy! I always kept a shirt on her but sometimes she would do it through her shirt. I just always told her please don’t pinch your boobies(she calls mine that). She literally just stopped one day. They are also very sensitive at that age, their whole body

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6

She could be doing it because you give her the attention she is looking for…pay less attention to it and the behavior may stop…worked with my 3 kids when they did similar things

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7

Please stop referring to your daughters nipples as tater tots. She will learn to call them this phrase and that is not okay. Giving fun/cute names to private body parts instead of calling them by their real names leaves children vulnerable to grooming and sexual abuse.

55 Likes
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For the love of God please do not refer to them as tater tots!

17 Likes
9

One call them boobies or breasts it completely eliminates any question if god forbid someone else is touching her wrong so she can say plainly that they are, 2 keep a shirt on her and take her hands away when you see her doing it saying no. It’s pretty normal but the more attention you give her for doing it other than the redirection of her hands & saying no will just make her do it more. My son was obsessed with his penis every diaper change he’d grab it and start pinching & pulling it out from the sides, he now isn’t to interested in it because I said no you don’t do that to your penis and moved his hands away or told him it’s not going anywhere and removed his hands🤷🏽‍♀️ now at diaper changes he doesn’t mess with it unless he’s about to pee then because he’s seen daddy hold his to pee in the potty he does the same.

10
  1. Refer to body parts by their anatomically correct terms. Penis, vagina, breasts are not bad words and knowing them helps keep kids safe from sexual abuse. I’ve also been told by social workers that if a child uses words like “cookie” or “tater tots” while reporting sexual abuse, their testimony is invalid. They have to use proper terms. Please start using the correct words now, rather than having to break the habit later.
  2. put bandaids over her nipples. It may stop it. That’s what I was told to do when my babe kept twiddling during nursing, maybe it’ll have the same effect. She won’t be able to access her nipples, so she’ll lose interest.
11

Can everybody stop going after her for using nick names…

I think she got the point 20 comments ago folks!! :roll_eyes:

34 Likes
12

Let’s be straight, real quick, some parents, myself in this category, do not have the luxury of their children ever being anywhere but home- I say luxury because a break would be great. He is now 4 1/2 and I’ve been away from him probably a total of 2 weeks his whole life (left then only with my mother and/or his dads mother/father) I’m not saying for a second that protecting our children isn’t important, but i feel in today’s world it’s equally important to protect their innocence. My son has always referred to his nipples as “pickles” which is hands-down the cutest thing ever. He pinches his own the second he is shirtless… and this has been for years… I’ve never thought anything of it… never bruising mind you, but he knows their there. I don’t have any advice as far as that goes… but let your kids be kids for as long as they can be, if you know they’re safe… their “tator tots” ain’t ruining anyone’s day but yours :woman_shrugging:t2:

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13

there is a disorder my sister has which can cause you to pick at yourself… she picks at her ears. you can take meducine for thst sort of thing. talk to her pediatrician about obsessive pinching and picking. what shes doing could lead to self mutilation.

14

Maybe she just referred to them as tater tots on here because she was uncomfortable talking about her baby’s body parts with strangers…

20 Likes
15

Some people just has to talk

16

First of all tater tots is not at all an acceptable replacement for nipples or boobs. You should never name probates after food. Secondly she’s probably just noticing that she has what she has and you have what you have. She might be wondering when she will be more like you.

9 Likes
17

Sadly my now 20 yr old did this when she was younger… yes she was breastfed, it started when she was a little more than mo no old. She would try to squeeze mine as she fed off the other. I’d mover her hand away each time. So she began doing it to her own. Although at first I thought nothing of it, by the time she was two (still nursing) I realized what a bad habit this was. She only squeezed her right nipple as she’d nurse. Over time I’d redirect her physical behavior and try to give her something to keep her hands busy but soon noticed she was doing it while watching tv, on car rides or self soothing to sleep. Unfortunately she now has one huge nipple and one “normal” nipple. She Hates it and is embarrassed by it. Her 18 bday she decided to pierce her nipples so they were both “hard” looking constantly. :woman_facepalming:. Stop it while you can

3 Likes
18

Wow, way to be judgemental assholes for real. Pretty sure she asked for advice not to be bombarded with “your kid is gonna be molested because you call her nipples tater tots.”

19

Omg, everyone calm down about the little name she gave for her child’s nipples! As a mother of 4 I have always used different little names for body parts mostly bc our babies are so innocent to us that it seems a little bad to call it the actual terms at these ages and we want our children to remain innocent as long as possible! Trust me they learn quickly what the actual name of the body part is and I agree once they are above 3 or 4 years of age you can start to tell them what the body part is and is actually called and I only started doing that bc I read that if your child God Forbid was ever sexually abused and had to be questioned in court etc that if they dont call the body part by the actual term then it cannot be used as actual evidence…but nobody really wants to look at your 2 year old and say “vagina” or “penis” it just dont sound right for a baby lol

20

No wonder they say mom groups are a nightmare!! Thank God their wasn’t any when I was having kids… You people are not nice to each other at all!!

69 Likes
21

Self-harm releases endorphins that help the individual feel better it becomes a coping mechanism. It can be difficult to treat children who self-harm because it is such an effective technique for the child. Regardless of the reason for the behavior whether emotional or social the harm becomes a part of who they are and how they identify themselves. Find out if there is a certain time that she does this? After not getting her way, ignored etc… It could be a way of getting your attention. It does however need to be addressed with the child’s doctor.

2 Likes
22

i dont know how to help im struggling with my 16 month old pinching my nipple while feeding on the other so mybe its an age thing. ive noticed my bub pulling her own hair like she has just discovered it

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23

Comments in this group are horrible.Not all but enough

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24

Just FYI calling a child’s genitals by any other name DOES NOT “increase” the chance of them being abused
It doesn’t matter what you or they call them a predator will do what they want
They aren’t surveying children to see who calls their privates a “cookie” to decide who to violate
Us as adult need to LISTEN to children to determine what happened and who did it “Uncle Bob eating my cookie that I wanted to save” is NOT the same as “uncle bob licking my cookie and saying not to tell anyone”

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My son was four before he stopped and ge wasnt breastfed

26

You need to refer to your child’s body parts with anatomically correct terms. It makes our children easier targets for predators. Like the teacher that didn’t catch on when baby girl told teacher that uncle so and so licked her cookie :roll_eyes:. Please don’t feel attacked when were trying to help you keep your baby safe

13 Likes
27

My usual response is “check with your pediatrician”. They are more familiar with babies and what’s considered “normal” behavior as opposed to concerning behavioral habits. It could be an indication of a health issue, or simply nothing at all … except she has found a new body part to play with. My keys D’s never did that, so I don’t have anything to offer, except “check with your pediatrician if you have concerns”.

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28

My daughter was never breastfeed and she went through the stage but she grew out of it after a few months… And you also shouldn’t name her private areas food names or anything else really other than they it is.

5 Likes
29

I’m sorry, but calling them tater tots is damn weird.

30

There’s nothing wrong with the nickname for the nipples. I grew up with them with nicknames and it wasn’t an issue I intend to have nicknames for my kids with their body parts because as a young child it’s not necessary as they get older and go through puberty yea call them what they are but when they’re young there’s really no harm

4 Likes
31

Why do people confuse their kids and call body parts names other than what they are? I guess its the same concept of calling them a nickname or baby talking to them. Confusing lol

6 Likes
32

you could always put mittens on their hands it won’t pinch as hard

3 Likes
33

Geez. I think she got it after the first few comments. :woman_facepalming:t4: She asked a question and everyone is stuck on one thing :woman_facepalming:t4:.

18 Likes
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You people are annoying :joy: great advice out there tonight! :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

OP I have had an ongoing issue with my son first picking his lips and when I bugged him enough to quit he started chewing on the corners of his fingers where the nail ends … I’m at a loss… I just remind him to keep his fingers out of his mouth.

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My daughter likes to pull her hair

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Ok last I checked this was a group to help others, but the way u all tear eachother apart for the simple things prob discourages some people from writing in with real issues. “OMG Karen she called the kids nipples tater tots”… “Oh I know Becky how dare she, lets attack her!!” Yall really need to get a life and answer the questions if you have POSITIVE ADVICE or keep scrolling!!

35 Likes
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Bandaids over them? I never had this problem but maybe if she can’t feel them she won’t grab them? Just a thought how everything works out!!!

2 Likes
38

I dont need my daughter walking around talki g about her vagina…
Thats weird!!
Its her cooter!!
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

39

She literally said “nipple” and THEN “tater tots”… She fucking said nipple. Are you people blind or just REALLY fucking stupid? :roll_eyes: Find something else to whine about already.

40

My 4yo calls them her, “boobie knuckles”!

Maybe a sensory thing? Does she express any other behaviour that isn’t typical?

3 Likes
41

Nothing wrong with calling them nicknames…theyll understand when they are older…

2 Likes
42

Disgusting. Do not call her nipples ‘tater tots’. They are nipples.

8 Likes
43

Maybe give her a stress ball to squeeze instead.

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44

At least 10 comments telling her the same thing over and over! I’m sure she saw the first comment.

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45

Not the same thing but my daughter used to pull her own hair when she was really young like months old and I got her a comfort blanket and she started holding on to that instead and it stopped , just had to find a blanket she liked and she still has it now at nearly four years old lol it’s a bit shorter than it was and a bit discoloured now lol but she takes it everywhere with her lol have u tried giving her something else to hold , my daughter uses hers to rub her toes and nose and ears and everything even her bum sometimes lol :joy:

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46

My son STILL does this sometimes when he is shirtless and he is now 3. I just stop him each time I catch him and tell him that we don’t hurt our own bodies. Honestly I feel like the the best action is to make sure she has a shirt on and just remind her over and over not to pinch. It could just be a different sensation so she keeps doing it.

47

Never heard of this but maybe put mittens on her? Or redirect her hands to a toy when she starts pinching.

48

Try giving her a blanket or something she can stroke instead to self comfort.

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49

You wanna know what’s wrong with nick names… When your daughter goes to another adult and says “Uncle John touched my tater tots” how are they to know what’s really going on??

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50

I’m so tired of these damn nickname comments like us adults don’t know food can be referred to private areas, you can’t be that dense, how about asking instead of assuming it’s just a food. I have seen too many comments about this nickname shit. Common sense if a child is telling you someone locked their cookie, ASK MORE QUESTIONS TO GET THE ANSWER… that actually falls on the adult , not asking more questions and thinking it’s game knowing we live in a society where men and women hurt little kids in ways they shouldn’t… when I was younger I was being raped and still called my areas a pocketbook or a cookie and people understood what the hell I was saying, they just didn’t care, because when I told them I would point to it. It falls under the adult when you don’t ask more questions when a child approaches you like that. Common sense is to ask more damn questions and get to understanding why they would tell you something like that. It’s called getting more information… duhh. Like come on now, you are fucking adults, everyone knows that someone parent teach their child nicknames for body parts at young ages, so if you want to turned and blind eye and not have more questions then that’s falls on the adult and not the parent or child. Like really, stop with the nicknaming is wrong and it causing this when NO IT DOESNT. It doesn’t stop children from expressing themselves , you are adults come on now, you should know to ask more questions. Even if they are talking about real food, you still ask more questions Damn

51

My son pinches and rubs his shirts while drinking his bottles as a comfort thing to help himself fall asleep, and if he doesn’t have a shirt on he does the same with his skin. Maybe not the same as what your daughter is doing, but maybe a snuggle or sensory blanket for her to rub instead?

52

My son twiddles his nipples and sucks his thumb. It soothes him. But bruises is a whole different thing. That is a little peculiar.

53

Hey, hi! I am a survivor or child sexual abuse. I knew what a vagina was and nipples, I knew all the words… :slightly_smiling_face: it still happened.

That being said, my kiddos all know the correct terms for their parts but I don’t make it a huge deal if they call it something else.

And for that mama asking the question… I hear you. I am validating your question. Your baby may have some sensory stuff going on, or maybe baby just wants to do it. But just take baby to the doctor and they may have better answers then internet people.

54

Maybe the ADULTS that everyone keeps talking about that just dont understand nicknames should be more proactive in trying to find out what the child means…u know like tell the parent hey Suzie said uncle John touched her tater tots and likes to lick her cookie and this kids disturbs me…and the parent should know and be able to do something…assuming it’s not the parent

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55

I’m over here like " What is a tater tot?" I had to reread it🤦‍♀️

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56

Wow so some of you people here need to do better, and look for these signs then, that’s when other people need to be smart and think. You’re gonna sit here and tell me you never heard of a vagina being called a cookie? A coochie, a taco a beaver a clam… Or for a dick to be called a bird, a fish, oiseau(french) for bird, weiner. Don’t be dumb and listen closely.

57

My 3 yr old son still does it. Its nothing I worry about we just tell him to be nice. He’s a hair twirler too. He’s just fidgety i think.

58

Sounds like she’s abused

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59

Wow you guys, exact reason for not posting on here. You guys are all jerks. She asked a question, not to be criticized about it.

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60

Honey ask her dr . People are so judgemental these days and the first thing most people think is she’s being abused . There are way to many negative Nancy’s out there and most of them probably don’t have kids .

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61

She may have an allergy or itchy tater tots… maybe show her how to put lotion on them…they are obviously bothering her. Take her to the doctor if you feel its not usual…don’t listen to these yahoos that wonder has she been touched…go the medical route first

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62

Idk if this will help but I found another mom online having similar issues

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63

Maybe get her some squishy stress release toys! Right when you see her about to pinch, introduce a toy. Have her distracted with that. She’ll forget about it!

64

Listen I still don’t call my vag or tits by there names cuca is one name pillows or back brakers and I’m grow adult leave the mom alone you call that girls body parts whatever you want :+1::+1::+1:

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65

Talk to your dr about it, do what your comfortable with and with all that’s being said in this group is if she start saying someone’s touching her tater tots dont brush it off like shes actually talking about food cause obviously somebody’s parents did a no no and didnt seem to catch on. But your a good mom your doing a good job and trying to figure it out, but your dr is prob gonna be the best for that

66

Don’t worry unless she starts pinching your nipples…she’ll catch on that it hurts and will stop

67

Oh for god sake just cause she pinches her nipples it’s automatically she’s being abused .You need some yourself ,I would suggest some sort of mental health professional to see why the first thing you jump to is abuse .Kid scratches his ass your response oh my god he’s being abused ,in reality the kid has an itchy ass. News flash kids do weird things all the time doesn’t always mean they are being abused .