Think about this, fight or flight , been there ,fight x
See ya. As soon as I had one feeling that he was only “tolerating” my son, I would of been gone.
Your child Is forever and your man can be replaced so remember that and good luck
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They BOTH could be wrong. Like someone else mentioned we are not there to see the situation. Perhaps try some family counseling.
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My Mom married not one but two men that couldn’t stand me and I still don’t know why. You need to talk to your son and really listen to his feelings about everything!
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She’s hormonal. Get that under control. It’s common. Hang in there.
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Your kids come FIRST!!!
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Let me just say teenagers are hard!!! I met my husband when my son was 6 my son will be 15 soon my daughter was 11 she’s 18 now it’s been complicated at times because everyone doesn’t always get along I’ve had to let the kids know not to talk to my husband or treat him a certain way or vice versa … He loves these kids very much though has been the biggest blessing to my son taking him 4 wheeling fishing taught him how to shoot how to drive etc now the relationship between him and my 18 year old daughter is a little more complicated because she has been in a lot of trouble and ver disrespectful … But he’s up and ready anytime she needs picked up in middle of night etc just talk to your fiance and son separately see if there is a specific issue that needs to be addressed
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I’d pack my bags and kids and leave.
He’s TREATING YOUR KID LIKE CRAP??? And treating the others great. …
Leave.
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You communicate. If you’re not comfortable mediating the two, seek whole family counseling. Chances are it’s nothing major and just the teen years.
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Counseling. Fourteen is a very prickly age. If family counseling doesn’t improve things, then rethink. Maybe have fiancé & son go on a camping, fishing, hiking, canoeing kayaking or other adventure trip together where they have to rely on each other for a few days and have no one else around to go to.
My mom chose her husband over me… left when I was 12 yrs old … my kid comes before any man ever will
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Your kids come first.
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Maybe you need counseling so that your child may talk to the counselor and tell him why the way he feels about him and vice versa to see if this can be helped
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Fourteen year old boys are in a tough spot. Not children anymore, not yet men. They do need a good role model, but that doesn’t mean they’ll get along.
After 2 years of living together, why not get married? What are you waiting for? Your “fiancé” has no legal standing in your son’s life; maybe your son is afraid ( deep down) that he will leave like his father did.
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Teenagers are assholes I don’t care what anyone says I was one not too long ago. They need to sit down face to face and have an actual conversation.
My son never really knew his bio dad because when my son was 18 months old his bio dad came to my parents house and told me he wanted nothing to do with me or my son. So my son was raised by my now ex husband. He is currently 14. I have been with my new man almost 3 years. For the first 2 years my son didn’t want anything to do with my new man. They argued and a few times my son got in his face, screaming at him. It was rocky but my boyfriend just kinda waited it out and now they have began to bond and it is amazing to watch their relationship grow. Sometimes it just takes time. Especially with a headstrong teenager. Try to see if they share any interests such as video games or TV shows and try to get the son to engage in discussion pertaining to something they share an interest in. It worked for my situation. My son and boyfriend share interest in video games and Anime cartoons. They have began bonding over their shared love of these 2 things. My son no longer has problems with my boyfriend. BF decided my son was too old for him to try to play dad and he would have better luck trying the " I dont wanna be your dad, just your friend" approach and it’s working. My son is being more respectful and even asks my bf for advice and talks to him about things he wont discuss with me (girls, friends, games, and even things he struggles with) . Their relationship has improved so much in the last 6 months its amazing.
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Talk about it, be serious about the conversation. Talk to your fiancé first, privately. See if there are any changes on your fiancé’s side. if your son is the one causing the tension, talk to your son. If your fiancé is, and it continues after you talk … leave.
Teenage attitude is rough. They need bonding exercises. But sit and talk to each alone and see what the deal is.
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Kids always come first!! They need you forever, your fiancé doesn’t!!
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Whatever you decide—know this: Your son needs you more than you probably realize. He is learning to be the man the world will receive. Be diligent in raising a beautiful man & don’t allow one more broken man into the world. It is the most important thing you will ever do. Someday, his partner and children may thank you for raising a beautiful man who is whole and unbroken.
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I get a lot of yall saying your kids come first. But in my house we all come first. My husband is a wonderful man and he does everything for my 11 year old. My 11 year old still chooses to be disrespectful at times and ungrateful for the time and effort my husband gives to him. Sometimes I can see my husband is frustrated and sometimes I can see my son is frustrated. So I deal with whoever cant get their ass off their shoulders and we move forward. There is no leaving and no choosing. We sit here and we figure this shit out. We are a family. End of story.
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After my Mom divorced my dad, she met a guy who I approved of we got along great, I asked if he could move in so he did, after a couple weeks he changed completely. He started beating our dogs and screaming at me all the time. He would go in my room and watch porn on my PC, he had his own. After a couple days my mom told him to get out and he refused, I started screaming back and told him to get out. He still wouldn’t, I called my dad and he came and got him out and changed the locks. If he treats all kids great but one, I would have a talk with your fiance. If nothing changes then I would leave.
Does he have any uncles, grandpa’s, cousins who he could spend time with aside from your fiancé?
The reality is he is 14 and even though his bio dad hasn’t been around, that doesn’t mean he isn’t missing him. He probably feels abandoned and could very well be taking that frustration out on your fiancé…which is normal and ok.
However, if you want to try to help, you should get your son someone to talk to (counselor), as well as you and your fiancé and like I mentioned above maybe someone else to help guide your son. If he has another man in his life he can trust maybe that will help bridge the gap that currently exists with your fiancé.
Always pick your kids over a man. The kids will hold it against you later if you stay kids first always
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Your kid comes first. Leave the fiancé
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Your child should always come first… he will always be your son.
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My kids are always first before any man! I would of left a long time ago now he is gonna remember 2 years that his mom put her man 1st! Kids dont ask to come into the world we bring them into the world and we need to always put them first!
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have you considered family therapy to find out what’s really going on? There is a root issue here that needs to be addressed… Also. teenage boys who don’t have their dad can be VERY intimidating to a man… it’s a lot of pressure and your son is old enough to know your fiance is not “his” dad and that alone can cause stress on the relationship and sometimes resentment.
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Prioritize your 14 year old, your fiancé can wait
Put you son first. He needs you.
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Your son comes first. Fiancé’s comes and goes. A son is forever!
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Have you tried something crazy like speaking to your fiancée about it?
Honestly… Your fiance is a grown man. Not sure what the issue is, but talk to him about it
Not your 14 year old. Teenagers are moody and he could just be lashing out but your fiance, as an adult, could make more of an effort. You as a mother would need to put your foot down. Kids come first.
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Kids first always…that being said I would sit down with both of them and get to the bottom of it and see if you can get them talking…if not then leave…your son may feel you are choosing your fiance over him & that can cause a lot of tension
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Always chose your child.
Your children always come first
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Agree. Your son comes first.
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Your children always come first obviously there’s an issue and I would think twice before I continuing the relationship children at that age have a hard time and that’s all I hear is about these parents and their boyfriends and their girlfriends and how bad they get treated my daughter is also 14 and everyone of her friends that have stepparents living with them it’s a nightmare. It takes a special individual to treat children that aren’t theirs like their own.
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Bad idea to chose a man over kid
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Why is a grown man acting like your oldest sons age? Why hadn’t he decided to be the adult and have a sit down conversation or figure out what’s going on? But instead argues with him and ignores him as if he’s also a teenager.
I would hate to see how he acts when you guys have a disagreement.
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Blended families are tough.
Teenagers and hormones are tough.
Over stressed, anxious adults are tough.
Try counseling? Learn ways to communicate more clearly, concisely and respectfully
—EVERYONE.
Children always come first though and if any verbal abuse is happening, that’s a huge no.
Good luck.
Maybe you fiance is tired of being disrespected . Have you talked to your son. Also if your fiance is in a dad role is he allowed to discipline etc. If he is in a lose lose situation he is saying screw it. I think your son is testing the boundaries.
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Is the kid a asshole?
Funny how everyone is not considering the kid might just be a little shit. Let’s not just blame the man. I believe mom isn’t telling the whole story.
She is not choseing the man over the boy she is just wanting them too get along i have the same issue with my step dauther sometimes and she is almost 14 but it works out me and her dad has been together for over 8 years and we just got married in march
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Well Baby, As a Parent of 30 years I have raised 3 to Adulthood. The 14yo is still a CHILD. HE is in a situation HE didn’t choose nor has any control of, He has an under developed Frontal lobe AND raging hormones. The ADULT Male figure that has been chosen for HIM, that has a Fully functional Frontal lobe, has also experienced this age is CHOSING to separate the oldest in what’s supposed to be HIS safe space, from the other children AND his Mother is allowing it? Yeah, I dont see that situation getting ANY better without some serious changes Immediately. The 1st conversation should be with your SON, privately. Be open to Listening to him. Here’s MY personal views on the matter, I would be EXPECTING more from the other ADULT in the Family HE made a clear Choice to be part of. Yes raising Teens is one tough gig, in order to be successful at it on any level ( pick ur battles) you have to do it with a Higher Mentality level than the Child. Ignoring the child’s existence ,thus making him feel like he has to earn his place within HIS family sounds REAL mature and productive? I would start there . Much love Huffman TX
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It sounds like a 14 year old who misses his bio-dad and doesn’t want a father figure in anyone else at this time. He’s 14, hormonal, and dealing with his bio-dads rejection on new levels than he was a few years ago. Who’s to say that he wouldn’t be argumentative and non-communicative with his bio-dad.
Could your fiancé try harder? Maybe. We don’t know that he hasn’t and keeps getting rejected.
I’m the first person to say your kids come first but, in this case, it may be best to keep living your life and let them figure out their relationship. At a certain point, giving in to their bad behavior only tells them that they can throw a temper tantrum anytime they don’t get their way to get what they want. Your fiancé isn’t abusive, mean, or out of line in any way (based on what you’ve posted). Him and your son may just not ever have the relationship you want them to have. And everyone may need to accept that. Therapy may help, if all parties are willing. And some day, they may get along, but it doesn’t sound like a deal breaker to me at this point.
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Maybe tell them that u want to have a sit down and explain how the situation makes u feel and what u want …
Than let your son talk and than your husband than maybe at that point you can figure out a compromise.
Speak to them seperate also so they just dont say what is wanting to be heard .
But at the end of the day how can your spouse do anything with your son when the relationship with the 2 of them aren’t working . Sounds like your son is having absent dad issues and maybe not even realizing what’s gonna happen if this continues. Seek a therapist for your son sometimes even going through puberty can do crazy thing to your body as we all know… but it sounds like your fiance just gives him space and tries not to push your sons buttons.
I don’t know why people are saying “your kid comes first” okay well enjoy being a single mom for the rest of your life. Your kid is going to move on with life, get married, and you’ll be lonely. And I’m sure he wouldn’t allow you to ruin his relationship with his wife/fiancé.
14 year olds step on their own parents toes so if he doesn’t look at him as a paternal figure, he’s really getting it. Yes he is only “tolerating” your oldest; you’re allowing your child disrespect him yet you want him to be a paternal figure. You’ll never have a successful relationship siding with your disrespectful kids. It’s not him, it’s you.
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You are a package deal. Period.
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Is the son being disrespectful to him ? I wouldn’t put up with it either. That’s the real question who is the problem? If your son is being rude snd disrespectful to him of course he isn’t going to want to talk to him
If he only has the issue with the oldest, the fiancée is probably not the problem. Could just be that the kid is 14. They’re difficult at that age. Say 12-20
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I married a man who had custody of his 3 children. My bonus son is awesome, but those girls of his SMH!! IF I HAD TO DO IT OVER AGAIN…I WOULD NOT. AND I DONT RECOMMEND IT. NOTHING BUT RESENTMENT AND HEARTACHE IN THE END.
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How is your son towards him? Is he disrespectful? Mean? Does your son not like him?
For them to have a relationship, it has to be on both ends.
It may be some jealously there too, if it was you guys living together for the first 12 years of his life. These things take time, work, & patience.
Maybe have a conversation with each of them & see exactly what the issues are for each one of them.
Look into family counseling?
It is hard to blend families!!
Step parents, new siblings, it’s a lot of changes for a kid, & being a teenager he’s already going through a lot of hormonal changes.
Family counseling could be a really good idea for everyone.
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I don’t think it’s the end of the world. The 14yo will be gone in 4yrs anyway. As long as the fiance isn’t out right mean, who cares.
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If a man can’t get along with your child then that man has to go. Always put your children before a man trust me. Men come and go but our children don’t. And if u decide to leave pls do not blame your son either cause some women are so petty that they’ll make the child think it’s their fault. They’re children not adults and if an adult can’t get along with a child for whatever reason then like I said that dude got to go.
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My 12 year old and my fiance are kind of like this. My fiance tries really hard to bond and help with him but my 12 year old merely tolerates him. No disrespect just doesn’t engage in conversation or anything.
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I don’t know your household so I cannot give to much advice. However, your 14yr old could be acting like a teenager. My 13yr old daughter & I bump heads, so it could just be that. I would observe more. Have you spoke to your son as to why he is acting this way? I am all about kids before relationships, but if there’s an issue that is going on, maybe behind your back that you don’t know about. My father’s girlfriend used to fight with me and when my dad would come home, she would tell him I was the one causing the problem. Unfortunately he believed her and that caused a lot of hurt and mistrust toward my father
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My question is this: Has there always been an issue between your fiancé and your son? You’ve been with your fiancé for 6 years so your son was around 8 when y’all got together. If there wasn’t an issue then it’s probably teenage hormones. Teens can be real pains in the a**. Maybe y’all should try counseling. However if there has ALWAYS been an issue then your fiancé may be the problem. It’s hard to determine because you didn’t provide much info. But I have to agree with most of the ladies on here. Your kid needs to come first. 
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Get out of the relationship! My soon to be ex husband has just tolerated my 14 year old son since he was 1 years old. I’m finally giving up. But I put my son through this shit for years. Don’t do what I did, leave put your son first!! Period. For a little more insight into my situation, he was like this with some of his kids too. The ones that were closest to me. It’s very strange. At one point we did split years ago and he admitted he was jealous of my son who was 7 at the time!! Wtf. So after 9 months separated I thought he had worked on those things. We get back together, fast forward to now. Son is 14 and things are worse. Left the kids home with him for 30 minutes to run to the store, which is something I don’t normally do because I don’t trust him. Within that short timeframe he raised his fist my son and had him cornered. Son was messaging me frantically to please come home!!! Husband tries to say that my son put his hand up to him like he was going to hit him first. Everyone in our family knows that’s complete bullshit because my son is terrified of him, as is his own children. So here’s some questions to ask yourself, are you closest with this child? Is this jealousy in a extremely unhealthy way? You guys have been together for quite a few years since he was little, has this been going on since he was a child? Looking back did it seem like things were a little off? Or is this just because he’s a teenager and given your husband a hard time? Just depends on what your specific situation is. In my case I realize my husband as a covert narcissist. He’s not capable of feeling emotion towards anyone, not just my son. But I feel like my son has suffered the most out of everyone.
I’ve got a similar issue with my 14 year old daughter and my bf. He tries to include her, he’s always there for her when she needs anything and she’s still not opening up to him, but with more effort things have gotten better and I sat her down and explained to her that he’s not going anywhere and she can s choose how the next 3/4 years will go. We can all be happy or she alone can be miserable. She chose to be happy.
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The kids come first. I had a boyfriend that despised my youngest. It took me way to long to see it. I don’t forgive myself for making my son feel “unwanted” by someone living in his home. That guy is gone now, and years later I have someone that will message all of my kids randomly. Just to say hi or what’s up. Those little things matter to kids no matter the age. Sure they argue and disagree. But my kids feel important enough to have their opinion and voice it. I’m not perfect. I have made mistakes. And I’m sure I will again. But my kids feel at home when at home. Your job is not to raise your fiancée but to raise your kids. Your fiancée needs to grow up and get over whatever issues he has. Or take a walk. Seriously, unless your kiddo is doing things you don’t know about or cruel to your fiancée above and beyond normal rebelling or normal teenager things, your fiancée has no excuse. He is suppose to be the adult. How would he feel if you behaved that way towards his kids?
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Honestly, when my mom got remarried my brothers and I did NOT like my stepdad at all. It took time, but now I could never imagine my life without him. My stepdad would keep his distance from us to give us space to adjust, and in our own time we opened up to him. I was 13 and it took me til I was about 18 to really open up and accept him. Now I’m turning 25 soon and he and I are close as ever, and he’s an amazing grumpa to my 3 kids. Sometimes, it just takes time and patience. Don’t force a relationship, let it grow on it’s own.
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Teenagers can be very hard to get along with. It’s been 3 years and my partner still has trouble with the more difficult of my twin boys, but I let him know that rudeness is not OK.
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Open up the lines of communication. Tell your man he is the adult and needs to speak to your son
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That can be a super challenging age for step parents. He needs to be the adult though and do what he can to initiate that bond and build it for his marriage and family.
Of course there is going to be struggles but remind your fiancee that he’s the adult and should start acting like it. You can’t just neglect the problem or the child and if he knows this is how their relationship is and he isn’t doing anything to fix it, he’s literally neglecting your son’s emotional needs. He needs a father and your fiancee needs to be a father to him or leave. It isn’t fair all the other kids get a father figure and he doesn’t. I’d hold alot of resentment if I was the child too.
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Im sorry but my kid comes first. If he can’t get along with your son and be a dad to him then he’s NOT the one.
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I would never marry anyone my child does not like. That’s a red flag. You can’t put that child in a constant uncomfortable environment.
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Always put your kids first, doesn’t matter what you want he didn’t ask to be born you carried him for 9 months gave him life now is your time to put his love and care first
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Your kids should come first always. Time to leave
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Your son is just a typical teenager but your fiancé is supposed to be a adult. He could spend some time with the teen and do some things he enjoys and help the situation but he chooses to act like a child.
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It may be a bit of a ‘pissing’ contest, as they are guys. (boys going through the hormonal changes or challenging the male of the house) But if this has been going on for 6 years, where is your mind at? It should have been addressed long with counseling or family therapy. Maybe they needed a boys day to discuss their issues?
When my husband met my son, there was one rule, get along, or get out. My husband will tell you the same. Now, almost 13 years later they are like a bunch of naughty school boys, who will walk through fire for my daughter, dogs and I. If at any point before getting married my son was not comfortable, I would have chosen him. I’m blessed it worked out, but seriously, kids ovee every one else always. Just my humble opinion.
Sounds like the fiancé doesn’t know how to be the adult in the situation. Yes teenagers can be a pain in the butt to deal with. There’s ways to go about it but alienating him won’t do anything but resent the both of you. Yes your kid will move on an create his own life, but if you want to be apart of that you need to sit your fiancé down. Men come and go but at the end your kids will always be there. When you grow old it will be their turn to take care of you.
Your son may be rebelling keep trying to get through to him
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Demand he accepts your son !!! He is the grownup here act like it !!!
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Family counseling would be a good idea for them and the whole family.
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Your son might be struggling with getting attached if he’s seen a few come and go, he might be afraid he will too. (It’s also harder at that age learning about sex and thinking of someone being with your mom! I mean no one wants to think about that 
) It could be allot of things but boyfriend needs to try always to make him feel welcome, and loved. The moody tanagers might still pull away and not appreciate it now but he will when he’s older.
Your son was the man in your live, until he wasn’t.
It’s harder if he has unresolved feelings of anger, resentment, hurt, etc from this father. It may be on big deal to you, but p is know, from my experience, it matters to him.
First, talk to your son. Really talk to him. No judgement. Let him speak. Listen to understand.
Do NOT tell him he’s crazy or he’s wrong. Help guide him.
Then, talk to your man. Same way.
Then, the 3 of you pow wow. An honest line of communication should be opened.
Definitely include therapy. They can help give your child tools to as just, deal with his emotions, process them in a healthy manner.
If nobody is willing to work on it… You may have a hard decision to make.
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Children come first. They didn’t ask to be born, you chose that.
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Don’t take advice from all these lonely women, saying children first lol. They just want you to be miserable like them, with unrealistic expectations.
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You already said the answer, “you feel like you should leave” yes you should… your kids deserve better.
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Nah if he can’t develop a relationship with all your kids then he’s gotta go
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Engaged for 6 years is a first clue…I think you know this outcome and need to face moving on…you will be happier and at peace with ALL your kids happier too!! Just my opinion folks
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Maybe your kid needs space he’s a teenager. Maybe they need man dates n such. Like outside the home stuff. Have to say them both down and talked to them
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I don’t think you’re overreacting. When you become involved in a relationship where children are involved, both you and your partner should accept and treat all of the children involved, the way you accept and treat your own. He should not pick and choose which ones he’s going to interact with and which ones he’s not. Your son is acting like a typical 14 year old. Kids have no tact at all. All of their emotions are raw and just come out as they are. His issue towards your fiance, is probably anger and resentment that should probably be directed at his father. Your fiance is stooping to the same level as a 14 year old, which will only perpetuate the cycle.
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I didn’t get along with my step dad very well the last 5 years I lived at home. (13-18) now we have a great relationship. He’s been in my life since I was six. I think part of it was the fact that I was a teenager and also not handling well why my real dad wasn’t in the picture
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Sit down and have a talk with them together. Give your son a chance to air out why he feels the way he does. Ask him what can y’all do to make him more comfortable. Ask your fiance what makes him take less time with your son and how he feels about the situation also. Explain to both of them if y’all are going to be a family you have to get along it’s ok to get upset sometimes. He should however not hold a grudge towards your fiance and your fiance should not take it personal where it makes him treat him differently. Your son is a teen and being in the house with your fiance and his kids probably makes him resent it because his dad’s not there he may feel some type of way. Let him know you understand that also but his kids mother isn’t in the house and they have to adjust too. Communication is going to be the key. Don’t give up something good because your son and fiance aren’t seeing eye to eye right now. That could change and your next bf the situation with them may be worse. As long as he’s not abusing him mentally or physically they will work it out overtime. Just give them a chance to air out their feelings for each other
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My kids don’t like you, don’t talk to you and don’t want to be around you, you’re gone. My children will always be first no matter what. And I’m not lonely either. I just make sure the SO in my life puts int the same effort for my kids as I do.
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Your son probably has unresolved issues due to his bio dad not being in the picture and resentment towards your husband because of it. Don’t end your relationship if it’s just teenage angst. Talk it out with both of them. If your son is passive to your spouse he probably doesn’t want to overstep
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I think its up to your fiance to be the bigger person and reach out to your son …he should be the one initiating a relationship and going above and beyond to win his love if he’s not willing to do that personally ill leave . I have 3 kids as well and my fiance treats them like his own we also have a newborn together and he’s equal with all of them .
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First off your grown ass boyfriend shouldn’t be arguing with your child. Your fiancé should grow up for one. 
secondly YOU need to figure out what it is about your fiancé that is making your child uncomfortable with them or to the point your child just argues constantly with him - he’s fighting with your fiancé for a reason. Remember that kids can’t explain their feelings the way adults can. To be honest from what you’ve said it sounds like your son hasn’t seen his bio dad since your bf stepped into the picture and that’s enough to make any kid resent the new boyfriend 
just saying, regardless who’s at fault for the bio dad not coming around. You have to really have to look to your son and be understanding and listen to what he’s saying… or what he’s not saying. He’s literally showing you his discomfort with the arguments.
I was 12 I believe when my mom married my step dad. They actually didn’t date very long so I didn’t have a lot of time to get to know him before then. Of course it’s going to be a bit awkward at first, and I was the only child there, I’m sure with your bleeding family and other kids, it definitely makes your dynamic, not more difficult just different. Ok, so once that initial warming up period was over, it was great. In fact, in the long run, I ended up calling him Dad, bc he was more present than my bio dad, and now that my bio dad is deceased, he’s the only dad I have and he’s wonderful to me. Him and my mom actually divorced recently but he’s still my dad and makes no difference now even so. So as a child that went thru this big change, it was prob easier for me being the girl Adjusting to the man/dad in the scenario, do you think maybe your oldest, your son has reservations about like seeing you with another man (other than his father) and that it feels strange to him or maybe he has resentments based off of this? Or maybe he has that, another man touching my mom thing going on in his head. I think we as children (even more grown children) think of our parents touching and loving on each other as maybe gross lol but natural blah blah blah and when there is a step-parent it’s like it becomes wrong and the children (esp older ones and boys with mommas) they feel like it’s not right and gives them a wierd vibe… I had a friends family who want thru this, we’ll something very similar. I’m not at all trying to make this sound gross and I’m trying to choose my words carefully bc I don’t mean it that way at all. But do you think you’re son could feel a jealousy or a resentment towards your fiancé bc now he will or has taken over as man of the house, when your son being the oldest may have felt like he was the man of your house and your protector before that… bc well he was the oldest male in the house!?? I don’t mean this in a weird partnership kind of way, but sometimes single moms get to where they depend on the oldest sibling more and esp a son to help her with things at the house or with the younger sibling(s) and they have a bond/trust that is different than the relationship she has with the younger siblings. I hope that makes sense and that I expressed my feelings and got them across to you correctly 
Maybe with the adjustment of joining households, gaining a new man of the house, your child feeling like this is now a permanent thing and he’s lost that role forever whereas he may have not felt that serious about it when y’all were just dating before engagement/moving in together… BUT also your fiancé is going to have to find level ground with him and then meet there. Fiancé is going to have to see what I just said and maybe try to understand how he stepped into that role & taken away the sons feeling of maturity and help with momma, bc now that she has fiancé she doesn’t need him (son) to fill those shoes anymore and he may feel like it’s all fiancé’s fault ya know. If fiancé could just keep trying and maybe even find things that you still need his (sons) help with, things that maybe fiancé can’t do bc he’s tending to the other kids so that your son still feels needed… maybe they can find a common ground or common interest but I definitely think it’s more the responsibility of your fiancé to work hard at gaining your sons trust and building some kind of a relationship…. The kids are the ones going through the most changes, we’ll for the most part…I wish y’all the best… blended families are hard and y’all aren’t even married yet. Maybe this trial time together before marriage will help you work out any kinks before marriage or maybe you will learn that after all of this time, it’s not going to work out at all. You want your son to feel more than just tolerated right? Esp when relationship with other kids is so much different/better?? I’m sure this is a hard place to be in momma… best of luck! 
Why do ppl join a parenting/ relationship advice page and then proceed to comment that other ppl should not be anonymously posing questions looking for advice on said page?
Additionally, I’d try family counseling for the issue in question.
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Well teenagers are hard that stage of life they hate all adults and they hate their parents more.
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Hard to say because you never stated how the relationship between you and your fiance is
You have to let him know that he is the other adult in the household and you will be making decisions together not separately and you have to talk to your Sun the both of you together and let him know this decision!
Ur a good mama! The fact that u chose ur child 1st makes me so happy. Ur fiance is a grown man & should act like 1. He needs 2 make more of an effort with ur oldest. Maybe take him fishing or bowling or whatever ur kid likes to do. Then i would remind ur child to also put in sum effort as well. Families stick together & both these boys need to grow up. But i put more fault on the grown man,not the child. Best of luck to u mama!
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Your kid needs to come first so I would try therapy for all of you and maybe they can get some stuff out and find out ways to better get along.
I’m going to assume he’s not really talking to him bc he doesn’t know how to reach out to him. That’s a difficult age. And it’s not cause he’s a ass maybe he honestly doesn’t know what to do but to make your relationship work you’ll have to get both of them on board.