My 14 year old and my fiance don't get along

Well I don’t agree of looking at the fact your kids gonna be gone but remember your 14 is 14 he/she doesn’t like anyone at that age most days. Find some kind of common ground they can share.

Was it u that stopped him from seeing is dad at 6…because .I would let him see is dad…

I couldn’t stand having a step dad at that age! Cant image life without him now.

1 Like

You don’t just stop being a family because there’s tension. Unless there’s abuse or genuine mistreatment. At 14 he may distance himself from all adults and with his biodad situation it’s not surprising he may have complicated feelings towards his stepdad. Encourage them to have a better relationship. Encourage your partner to reach out gently. Be patient.

Oh boy that’s a hard one. You are emotionally tied so you might not be able to see the situation the way it really is. Have you asked your fiance why he doesn’t have time or doesn’t tolerate your son? I would also speak to a professional, start with your Doctor, both of you together. Maybe then you will have a different or the same perspective.

Have him take the boy fishing or something the boy likes.

1 Like

Is there a reason for his resistance? I know I used to be close with my oldest stepson, and I guess I still am, but he has put us through a lot over the last few years and I am burnout and kind of taking care of him and feeling like a babysitter and that’s it right now.

This needs to be resolved by the adults. I mean who’s the adult here the 14 year old or the fiance. Fourteen is a tough age. If he can’t be man enough to make things right. He is not man enough to raise your boy.

2 Likes

Have a Pow wow with just the 3 of y’all and find out what is going on! Listen to both sides and make them hug when all is said and done! Clean the slate and get to the root so y’all can move on!

Teenagers are hard to live with period.

2 Likes

Talk to your fiancé and ask him why he treats your son different from the rest. Talk to your son and ask him what can be done to make things better. It’s devastating for a teen boy to have his father leave his life. He may not want to get close for fear of the new man leaving. Try to open the path of communication

2 Likes

Teenage boys are difficult at the best of times. I went through the same thing with my boy when he was like 14-17. Maybe get your fiancé to do something with him just the two of them ,like footy,go carts,motorbikes .he will grow out of it ,boys at that age need good male role models to look up too .

2 Likes

Blended families are hard each has their own dynamics and the kids involved aren’t always thrilled about it my guess is your boy is very protective of not just you as his mama but of his own heart bc his bio left him out to dry from what you say so he probably has some issues that therapy or just talking to him might help everyone is quick to place blame on the fiancé but maybe he’s allowing your son to warm up on his terms instead of forcing a relationship down his throat I am a mommy and have a blended family as well and my oldest don’t always get along with my fiancé either but my fiancé engages anytime she gives him the chance and we are still working out the bumps and I’m sure we will be for years to come so my advice is if you want it to work dig deep and try to find a solution that works for your family and if your fiancé still shows no interaction then if say it would be time to leave but every relationship no matter the kind takes two

Who is the adult? Your fiancé is behaving poorly.

4 Likes

Choose your son. Maybe he knows something you don’t.

4 Likes

He needs to spend 1 on 1 time with him doing something fun. They need to bond.

2 Likes

As a step kid when I was 14 I could not stand my stepfather and he could not stand me. Nothing he ever did wrong, I was just use to be the oldest and getting my way with my mother and my step dad was more disciplined so I fought it… as an adult I can say with 100% that man was absolutely right, and I would have been far worse off without him, we have a great relationship now

2 Likes

Been there done that I chose my children over the man. The man caused so much emotional damage to me and my children they are still in therapy choose your children!!! He is toxic see it for what it is your children are children he is a grown man

Have you talked to either of them separately about it? I couldn’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t love my kids… but honestly I haven’t been in your position so I wouldn’t give advice on it.

1 Like

I’d suggest family therapy because although it seems tough right now, there’s always a chance it can improve :relieved: they both sound important to you. Get a qualified persons opinion on what is going on

1 Like

I was the child in this situation, it honestly ruined my life. Put your child first, please.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. A man would have to accept my kids. No way I’d have a relationship with a man who didn’t. Not fair to the kids. :sparkling_heart:

1 Like

Would. Leave. Your. Child. Is. Just. This. A. Child

Don’t listen to all of these people. You’re happiness is measured at your personal merit. You know what’s right and wrong. Teens are going to give everyone hell! And their going to also move on and make their own family one day. You have to learn a happy median in life and if you have to push through to get to the final happy picture than do just that. 6 years already done gone by - why leave your fiancé for your child (saying this with caution) who’s going to move forward in life and you will eventually be supporting their relationships. Trust and believe you will not accept them all but I guarantee they will not leave or drop someone just because you don’t like them. Now by all means love and put your child first - but I believe you can control a happy median in that type of environment