He may be a very different person now through his life experiences. You have to let her decide what type of relationship she wants with him. Our mothr did with my brother and I. We never saw him for over 20 years (his choice), never heard from him. We met him as adults, and in the end we chose no communication. We have 6 much younger siblings, some of whom think the sun shines out of this man’s lying ass, good for them. They’ll figure it out when they’re older. Your daughtr has a right to get to know him and choose what SHE wants to do.
Supervised visits I would say to start. Everyone is capable of change if truly desired.
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My ex husband was very disconnected and refused to even try and be sweet with me. We fought often, but more often we ignored each other. We were completely toxic. But as a father? He’s the best he can be and he’s a stroke survivor. He still shows up for them. Keeps them extra if My husband and I have unexpected things come up. It’s really two separate realtionships you and he have. Your past which is dead, now Co parenting.
Ease into it slowly. It sounds like he’s trying to straighten his life up which is good. But just because he did those things doesn’t mean he’s a good person. Get to know him before you throw that little girl into his life and have her world turned upside down
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Get to know him first, then see how that goes. He may have turned his life around but you never bring your child arou d a new boyfriend right. Your job to keep your child safe. Even if it doesn’t work out now she will feel the loss.
Her being so little wont do much harm at all. Kids can handle more than adults on things. Stop thinking about yourself and ask how do you make this relationship work between your daughter and her father. Be his friend and talk with him, hell if he was good enough to lay down with and make a baby it should be no problem to talk to him. Leave the past in the past and start fresh. Everyone deserves a second or third chance. Just cause you gave birth dont mean your gonna be a better parent than he could be, guys just take more time to grow up and see what they really need to do in life.
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Sounds like he is trying to change. Just be carful and let your baby know that she doesn’t have to go and visit if she doesn’t want to. Good luck to you and your Daughter. Kids need both parents in their lives and not just for child support. If he is any kind of a man that is trying to change it will be easy for him to see that it takes money to raise a child and will offer it without you having to even mention it.
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Take it to the county office of Children services and let them set up supervised visits
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I would start with meeting him a few times before you let him see your daughter . Only then will you know what to do!
That’s great… but get a parenting plan set and custody established.
Sounds like he’s doing the right thing and she should meet her daddy. You should definitely be there for every visit until you feel comfortable but a daddy is so necessary in a child’s life, especially one that seems to really want to better himself.
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Don’t let him have her by himself until you know he won’t lose his cool and harm her.
Set up something with the county so that they can do one on one time.
But diffently make sure you have a court order in place before you let him take her alone because since there isn’t and he is the dad he don’t hafta give her back!.
Yes, court route. And then also, tell him he is a stranger to your child, and he has to earn the child’s trust.
That’s exactly what I was going to say!! Supervised visits for awhile until YOU and your baby feel comfortable!!
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I’m confused bcs u 1st say he walked out and a few sent
Deny it or court supervised
Supervised visits only
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Go through the court system
These people are nuts.
Time out! You had better get to know this guy before you let your daughter start a relationship with him. Sorry but it don’t take a man 15 months too “pop back into” a little girl’s life that he fathered. I don’t care what he has done to improve his life. His just showing up and wanting to “meet” his daughter doesn’t necessarily mean he should get to. He has to earn that right back. You are your daughters only defense, what if he decides to walk out again? How do you heal a babies broken heart? No, he’d have to prove he’s father material.
VERY VERY SLOW and supervised visits until she can speak
He’s a monster and you can’t trust abusive men with their children
Men that abuse their partners have no boundaries
So you need to be the boundary maker for your daughter
Ask your daughter if she wants to meet him. It should be her decision and she should know the truth of your relationship with him. If she’s never had a strong father figure do you really want him to be what she thinks of when she thinks about men?
I can tell you as a woman who was kept from both her biological and adoptive father as a kid, it does a lot of damage. I am strong and self sufficient but I will always carry those scars. Let her have her father unless he proves himself to be unfit.
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Set firm boundaries.
Let him show you how he’s going to act.
They might meet and never meet again.
Don’t say “this is your dad”
He’s mommy’s friends until he establishes trust on your end, proving he’s not bailing again.
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To me, if he was abusive I’d not be leaving my kid with him under any circumstances and I’d be getting legally ready to support and back that.
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Seems like he has gotten himself together. It would be good to have help so you don’t have to rely on your mother
I’d approach it cautiously as he has already let her down. Start small and build the contact up. I’d make sure your with her during the contact until he’s built a bit of a relationship with her. Don’t introduce him as daddy right away as he may leave again. He needs to build trust and show he’s changed.
I would also seek some legal advise just incase so you know where you stand. Set your boundaries and stand firm with them. Xx
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Introduce him as a friend first, not father. She doesn’t need to know that right out the gates when there is no guarantee he has changed or will stick around. Nothing unsupervised either please.
That just doesn’t sound like the kind of man I would want around my child, father or not.
Just be cautious think it thru and meet at a public place and see how things go. I’m not saying don’t go thru with it because some people do change for children but don’t get hopes up for something between you two. It’s more for your child then either of you. And if things go well continue to do so in public with people around. Til you’re comfortable in a private setting.
You don’t owe him anything, but think about your baby, make sure you are present. People grow and change, but u have to try him first. Do it for your baby not him. My daughter’s dad past away and she misses him everyday, how I wish I could give her this opportunity even if he wasn’t perfect. They need to know that extra piece of their lives and let them decide if they want it in their lives or not. He owes you an apology, first of all.
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Tough call. Id definitely be cautious at first he may be her father but that doesnt mean he’ll treat her right.
Be guarded at all times. Your priority should just be the safety of your child
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I would get to know him again. It sounds as though he’s tried to make some improvements in his life. I hardly ever agree with keeping children from a parent so take it slow at first. Meet up for lunch or a coffee with the three if you. Assess the situation carefully. Keep this up until your daughter obviously feels comfortable with her father as well as yourself. Then if all goes well, begin allowing him to take her forna few hours at a time and increase it from there.
People change I think you should start small and work up towards having him in his baby’s life maybe start with supervised visits a couple hours on the weekends and move forward from there
If you have proof of the abuse, go to court and stop in. If you don’t then you’re going to have to play nice, or he will go to court and get visitation with your daughter.
If he’s abusive… I’d stay far away. If he could do it to you, doesn’t that mean he could easily hurt your child too? Theres a reason you left that situation…dont put yourself in the same position you got yourself out of
Set ground rules, go to court now before it’s a question. Establish boundaries and insist on supervised visits until/if you’re comfortable.
If you can help it don’t keep him out of her life unless it comes down to your or her safety and well-being.
I’d go through the courts, especially if he’s been abusive to you. There’s no telling what he’ll do to your baby.
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But I wouldn’t go back to that but let the little one get to know him slowly
Maybe go get a mediator and set up visits in a supervised area and times
I honestly went through the same thing… DM me and I can help you out as much as I can Mama.
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