Really no excuse for you and your husband not having jobs. Maybe you’re being the irresponsible ones? His child support should be going on him… $80 a month would be $20 a week for his allowance. Give it to him and tell him to pay his Playstation account out of it… all that’s left should be HIS. It’s YOUR responsibility to provide his necessities such as hygiene products…
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Shaking my head at this! I have 8 boys. Nobody gets allowance. You live here you pitch in. You are my child I will pay for things you need. If you do something extra like clean the car I will throw some cash. But every day things…nobody pays me so why should I pay them? It’s called responsibility. And I would NEVER charge my kids to drive them anywhere. No wonder why mental illness and depression are at all time highs if this is what parents are doing to their kids. He’s 15…tell him to go mow yards and get money. That’s what my 15 year old does. Get a work permit and go work!
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Teenagers say asshole things all the time.
This is the worst of the worst and most disgusting shit ive ever read. That child deserves so much better. Wtf is wrong with this mf idiot who chose to raise a child and won’t even treat him like he’s wanted or appreciated.
My advice is care… I think it’s real concerning the first thing you say is He’s not ours
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Explain to him that the roof over his head and food in his belly IS pay for his chores, take him along grocery shopping show him the utility, rent/mortgage payment, the insurance, car/ home payments …
You seriously need a mental evaluation or something because you shouldn’t be charging him gas money… Treat that child the same as you treat your other children. Let me find out you just using that 15 year old for the child support check
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Why would you take in an infant and then make them feel like he’s not part of the family. He’s not some random person. You can pay for him too.
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This hurts my heart. Poor kid.
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She said none of the kids were getting there allowance ATM so all being treated the same
First of all you keep a roof over his head, lights, gas, and food. He has a place to lay his head. You provide a warm shower and clothes. That is all you are obligated to do. Unfortunately the 15 year old mind is not fully developed and is very selfish at times. If he needs more money then he needs to get a job. Period! Don’t feel bad for something that cannot be helped. When he gets older he will understand.
If none of the kids are getting allowance and are all expected to do chores then it is fair. If you are still giving the other allowance then you are out of line. No child slavery or illegal but morally wrong
Idk why it matters whether he’s Biologically “yours” you took that child in and you need to treat him as you treat your own kids. Anything less is abuse and neglect.
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A trip behind the woodshed !!
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So many WTFS to this post but … Anyone else kids gotta buy their own hygiene products ? Weird … this is all cringe I said what I said 
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Why are you treating him like a roommate and using his support money for gas ??? Do you charge your other kids and deduct it from their allowance to take them places ? The fact that you even mentioned he isn’t your biological child speaks volumes and is cringey af
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Did you cancel all allowances or just his? I can understand cancelling them all due to hardship but just his?? Nah, that’s shady af!
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Horrible just cause his not yours you treating him different what a parent 
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I’ll take him since y’all don’t want him I have a 15 year old here they would be awesome together
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If you don’t charge the other kids for their necessities and fun items, he shouldn’t be charged either. I can only imagine how he feels being treated like a burden and a cash cow all at once.
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Sounds like the allowance needs to go until he figures out that he is NOT entitled to it, and it sounds like you need to increase his workload at hime. If he wants to go out with his friends, he earns it. Are you getting paid for the work you do at home?
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I’m sorry but you are wrong. He should be paid the $15 also it’s not fair. He is wrong on the child slavery and definitely should not be allowed to throw a fit (that should’ve been taught that is unexceptionable by now)
Your 15 year old can get a job and so can you and your husband. Problem solved.
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Is it just him who is not getting an allowance? I read it as the bio kids aren’t getting an allowance either.
If all of the children in the household are not getting spendimg money then he shouldn’t be either. The money is for his upkeep not for spending money or for anyone else in the household. He is only 15 so I can see how he might not 100% grasp that it is for the cost of living rather than recreation.
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I’m not understanding why some are saying he’s being treated differently.
And if you don’t have the extra monies to “pay” the kids to do chores around the house then ohhh freaking well. Kids these days (including my own daughter) feel soo entitled… they’ll feel what it’s like to LIVE AND SURVIVE IN THE REAL WORLD!
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She just said that they all were not getting it until they got jobs
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Youre disgusting. “He doesn’t belong to either of us”! Youve had him for 13 years and you sound like he’s a burden or something. Poor kid
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Lmao you give yours kids an allowance, but not him? That’s his problem with it right there he just doesn’t want to tell you.
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First of all why do you have kids and out of work. You could even work in fast food. There are plenty of jobs out there to have. Why do you single him out from being your son if you had him for so long. And he is simply a teenager that has feelings.
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He is old enough to get a job if he wants to act that way.
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There are a million jobs out there. You can all get one including Him
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You’ve had that child since 18 months and you don’t consider him yours by your tone.
I feel sorry for this kid. You sound like an awful person and sounds like you and your husband need jobs because your living off of someone else kids child support. Treat your meal ticket better!
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You add him $15 in out of your own pocket you have full guardianship of him therefore he’s your financial responsibility. You treat one kid, you treat all! 
you honestly sound like one of those dreaded foster parents who treat the other child indifferently.
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My allowance was I was allowed to live there….
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Make allowance less….
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I feel sorry for that kid. You sound like a bitter bitch that doesn’t want that child.
You’re lucky all he’s doing is throwing a fit. When I was 15 I was smoking crack and doing heroin and I wasn’t singled out to be made sure I knew I wasn’t a biological child. He’s going to hate you and need therapy because of you
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If I am understanding this correctly you are making a difference between “your children.” That is totally unacceptable and downright hurtful. If you are financially stressed then reduce the allowance to $10 a week per child and give it evenly to EACH child. Otherwise you are saying to this child that he is not an equal member of the family. Children need to learn about finances and how to adjust their expectations. Treating this child differently is only isolating him and making him feel like a burden.
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A lot of you do not know how to read. She’s saying that she’s not paying allowance to any of the kids, but the ONE kid is the only one freaking out about it and she needs advice. She is not leaving him out of anything.
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That child support goes into your funds as a whole. Then you divide everything up. You don’t just say $80 is for this other kid. That’s your kid! All of them should be treated equally. If one doesn’t get allowance, the others don’t either.
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I don’t feel you should be charging him gas to take him places. Do you charge your kids the same? I mean you have had him his whole life shouldn’t he be the same as your kids. He can see he is not with the way you are treating him.
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She stated none of the children are getting the allowance at this point. It’s not like she is singling the child out. I didn’t get an allowance as a child and neither did my kids. Helping and doing chores is part of being a family and part of life. Sometimes there are struggles and it sounds as the child is acting like a typical teen but the child also needs to understand that an allowance isn’t owed. He has a roof, clothes, food, PlayStation ect his needs and obvious wants are being met. They will all live a short time without an allowance.
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My opinion, you conditioned your child to think that way. At one point or the other he’s probably heard you say “I’m not working unless I get paid” as we all know how sketchy some businesses have began to act especially since Covid. Besides that, YOU ARE TEACHING them they have to work in order to earn money. You didn’t sit them down (I’m assuming) and said this is because everyone has a role in the house. You used their allowance as a “bribe” to get them to get up and do things. & not only are you not allowing them to use the money for items they want, but you’re teaching them it strictly has to go towards adult items when they’re a child, they cannot work an actual job at this time like you, the parent can.
I personally think you need to do some reevaluating & maybe sit them down to have that adult heart to heart conversation, because you aren’t treating them as children.
& now I know my childhood on some aspects were better than most, but I never got an allowance. I was never made to pay for my own gas at 15 unless I absolutely needed a ride & family was at work. If that isn’t his vehicle, I personally feel you should be paying for his gas OR coming up with a way to cover a bike for him. Maybe a bus pass.
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Don’t take in kids if you can’t afford them. So sad!
He’s old enough to get a job himself, you and your husband could possibly do Doordash together if you have a vehicle it’s easy and you get paid daily, check into it, Or do have medical reasons you can’t work ?
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Do you fools even read??
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child slavery. Over household chores.
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Make a list of all household expenses, divide it by the people in the house. Show him the cost of housing and feeding him.
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Cut off his PlayStation and give him an allowance and let him pay for it.
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You make him pay gas money to YOU to take him places ? That’s freaking insane. I feel so bad for this kid. No wonder he’s acting out.
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His child support was going to his hygiene products?!.. &gas?? maybe you shouldn’t be so strict with the child support, because that’s what that is. Support for the child. Doesn’t seem like you emotionally support him at all. Do you pay for the gas to take your other kids places or make them pay? 
smh. I had to reread this a couple times. Maybe you’re not the best home for him tbh. Seems like he’s more of a bother then a priority. And that’s sad.
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Not your child but raised him since 18months old?! You need to rethink that statement. That is YOUR child and should get and do as the other children are made. He is no different!
At the same time— he can call it illegal and child slavery- however chores are chores. Survival skills are children will need in life. It’s life’s lessons to survive.
But- at this point- it isn’t about what he’s saying- it’s about how YOU look at him. Your looking at future resentment from him if he’s treated differently - don’t expect him to have your back when your elderly and need help if your treating him the way one would assume with your statement.
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She said none of the kids are getting allowance!
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At his age (many states) teens can get permits to work as early as 14 years of age and make decent money, get a good work ethic, stay out of trouble, and become more independent.
For the ones saying the child support money should be going to him - it absolutely is. When your child’s other parent pays you child support (let’s say $200 a month) are you giving that child all that money or putting it towards their needs? I can tell you right now many of you are a bit hypocritical.
I say, ask him if he wants an actual job that will pay him as much as he makes a week in an hour or two. Chores are just that - chores. Many children do those without getting paid as it’s what their suppose to do (mom and dad clean up after them in other ways and they also have to do their own share)
Don’t let anyone guilt you. You’re the parent. Treat all the children equally and fair though. 
Let me start off by saying biological or not you decided to bring this child into your home doesn’t mean to treat them any different from the ones you have have and because you and your s/o are out of work doesn’t mean to backlash on your kids for your own fault there are lots of jobs out there no need for excuses period
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The fact you felt the need to start off with “he’s not biologically ours…” is fucking disgusting an shame on you. REGARDLESS HES YOUR KID.
Doing chores for “free” is “illegal” and child slavery? Give me a frickin break! 
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I would save his $80 every month on the card and put the card into a graduation card. This way he can accumulate the money over time and have money to start out with. I would then pay for ALL of his expenses just like he were my OWN BIOLOGICAL CHILD, treating him like the other kids may get you much further in his life than the way you’re going about it now. 
Remember you took on the responsibility when he was a baby that was YOUR choice not his. He wants to be treated like the rest of your children and he deserves that. A councilor might do y’all some good. 
Best of Luck!
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It sounds like you do not treat this boy like he is yours even though you are pretty much all he has ever known. you should be ashamed of yourself. treat him the same as your other children . And none of them should get paid to do household chores they live there it should be for free.
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You should still be paying him his allowence! If the money was coming out of your pocket which btw I think it should of as your his legal guardians then maybe he would understand as you don’t have the money. But that money is technically his. To me it sounds like he’s been treated totally different to your other children which is why he may be finding this so difficult now. If you take on a child as your own surely you treat them the same 
but as you haven’t and your still getting that money for him then he should still be having it!
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Try to see it through his eyes. He is obviously upset & was counting on that money for something. & he’s not wrong, that $80 a month does belong to him in a way. I’m not saying to fold to his every demand but kinds have emotions & expectations that you raised him on. It wouldn’t hurt to actually talk to him about it. you’re the adult. and it sounds really awful on your part to point out he’s not your kid to start. that’s kinda sad & you probably unconsciously remind him of that everyday.
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His allowance should not have been coming out of child support… if none of the children are getting allowance than that’s on you. However the child support money should still continue to go to things that it has always gone to.
Nope. That is some entitled thinking.
“Chores free”? No. Everyone pitches in to make the household work. He isn’t doing anyone a favor. He is being a contributor to the household he lives in.
I could see if tou were continuing allowance for the others, but it sounds like no one is getting allowance at the moment.
It’s nearly summer. That kid needs to get a job.
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If he gets a job how are you going to get him there, charge him more? This isn’t going to work well.
Child support usually goes toward things of surprise as well, so using every cent toward things leaves you with nothing, and I know you don’t get much anyway, but it’s better than nothing at all. Kids are rough, they want to make the rules and everything else and complain it’s not good enough.
First, he’s yours too, regardless. He’s part of the house. Everyone in the house needs to understand that. Second, one of y’all needs to get working to make it work and you can’t expect him to not act bigger when adults aren’t working cause kids do exactly this when an adult isn’t pulling money in and they want money. I’m sorry you’re going through this but it will resolve itself and things will improve best of luck!!
With allowances, my rule is if ya cannot pay one, then ya should not pay any. He may not be your biological child, but given that he is now fifteen and he has been with you since before he was two years old, for all intents and purposes, you two ARE. IN FACT, THE ONLY PARENTS HE KNOWS.
Maybe it is about time you start treating him LIKE your own instead of like a kid in an extended babysitting arrangement.
If ya cannot afford allowances for ALL the kids living in YOUR HOUSE, then ya don’t need to be giving ANY of the kids an allowance.
my sons been working since he was 15. He is now 16 and loves earning his own money.
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Unpopular opinion (might trigger some), y’all keep saying that this “child” can go out and get a job to make his own money which is correct but he is still a child and as his legal guardians they are obligated to take care of him (physically and financially). And if he is able to just go get a job just like that as a child then the adults can do the same!
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First of all, kids do chores in the house to help out and to learn to be responsible. As parents we don’t have to pay them for that. Second of all, child support money is supposed to take care of that child’s NEEDS. And frankly 80 a MONTH for one child with how expensive life is right now doesn’t even sound like it would cover for 25% of the needed costs. That money is not FOR him. That money is to help him with his NEEDS. Third of all, until that kid is 18, and even after he turns 18 if he’s planning on sticking around, he’s a child that needs to obey your rules WHATEVER THEY MAY BE whether he likes them or not. YOU’RE the parents. YOU make the decisions. His role is to LISTEN, OBEY, RESPECT, and HELP make things as easy as possible by having a good attitude about it. If that is not something he can do then there are consequences to his actions. That’s how life works. Nothing gets handed to you just because. You’ve got to work for it. I’ve got four kids. One is mine, the other three are my step kids. They ALL know better than to demand ANYTHING from us. Especially child support money whenever we do get it. If they get good grades and have a good attitude and help out in the house then good things come to them if not well if you know you know. We don’t play around about that stuff here. I always tell them it’s not my job to be their friend or to give them what they want. It’s my job to protect, provide them with their NEEDS, and help guide them in the right direction so that they can become responsible, respectful, independent adult in the future so the bad attitudes, demands, unreasonable expectations and inexcusable bad behavior will not be tolerated. One thing I do is as an incentive, IF they get As and Bs we give them $25 per quarter. If they get all As we give them $50 per quarter. That’s the potential to make $100-200 per school year. But we don’t give them anything for doing their chores because they’re being taught that they have to do that to keep their things tidy and clean because that’s what is expected of them in life even after they move out on their own.
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Tell him to get a job mowing lawns or doing work for peoples yards
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Technically, That money is for him. Now if it helps y’all buy the little essentials like bread, milk, eggs, sandwich meat then yeah. But he should at least get $25 bucks from that $80.
And why are you making him pay you gas money to take him places?! Do you do that to your other kids. And smh, hygiene is a must, he doesn’t have a choice, that is something parents should buy their kids no matter what!!! You are his legal guardians then you need to take care of him.
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I never usually comment on these posts I just read them. But Wow, really ,he has to buy his own hygiene products. Isn’t that your responsibility as a parent/guardian. I’ve never thought to charge my kids for driving them anywhere. I have a grown daughter and 2 at home. I would give my grown daughter gas money or by her hygiene products if she needs them. I’ts called being a parent and love.
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The way you worded this honestly as a mom makes me question how much you despise him or resent him? You would find a way to do all and make it fair or don’t do it for some and not the one who probably needs it most. Your wording has my gut wrenching for that kid.
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This is why I don’t support allowances based on chore completion. You don’t do chores to get paid, you do chores because everyone in the family has to contribute to household maintenance. Honestly, if he wants to throw a fit, he can do it in his own room because I wouldn’t hear it. I don’t have time for that bs. He doesn’t want to do chores then he can have all privileges restricted. He’s old enough to act better so if he wants to act like that, he can sit in his room grounded with no devices, etc. Thats what I’d do.
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I have never paid my kids for pitching in with household chores. If the want clean clothes, they do there own laundry.
They can work video games…they can use a washer and dryer. Also if they want home cooked meals and clean dishes to eat off, the better pitch in.
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It would be wrong to only give him an allowance, so i agree with you. If you can’t afford to give all of them an allowance, you shouldn’t give it to any of them.
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Give him the $15.00 but take out the playstation subscription
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I am impressed that you can do anything at all with $80 A month, let alone pay allowances.
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You’ve taken care of him since he was 18 month now 15 and you still separated and Elaborate that he’s not your biological kid. If you’ve taken care of him that long you’d think you treat him as one of your own why buy his product with the little child support he gets and make him pay gas to go hang out with a friend ? You don’t do that for your other kids do you ??
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I’m sure you are getting some sort of check for him. You and your husband need jobs which are not hard to come by right now. At 15 of course he needs allowance and he needs to be loved.
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Chores and getting paid? Nope. No one lives for free.
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Do you not treat him as your child that your feel the need to say he isn’t your biological child? He’s been with you since 18 months you would think you would consider him your child smh. Tell him to get a job and treat everybody equally no wonder he is throwing a fit!!! Poor child imagine growing up always telling u, u only have $80 to spend a month bc that’s all your father gave.
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This posts ticks me off. Seriously. He doesn’t belong to you or your husband? I hope you charge gas for your biological kids also… hygiene? You need to be buying that for him the same as your husband and other kids.$ 80 bucks a month. Give him 20 a week. And I hope the next 3 years go by fast so he can get away from where he seems like he’s not even wanted. If you have had him since he was 18 months old that is your child… But even on this post you dont claim him… Thats just sad and to be honest pisses me off for him…
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She feels guilty for more than she’s confessing about how she treats this non-biological child and she needs to put her conscience at peace; she’s here hoping for everyone to tell her what an awesome mom she is; well… I just get a feeling that is more going on than just the allowance; I wish we could hear up the 15 years old opinion about how he is treated at home…
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We were poor and were taught how to work at a very early age. I know work is now a slander word that needs to be changed to honest thinking.
Number one red flag you started off saying he wasn’t yours…no, he’s yours!! You should realize when you take in a child, you have to provide for that child!!! It’s your fault you, and your husband don’t have a job!! You can’t treat him like that, he should be given the same amount as your children, you are not doing that kid right, he has every right to be a angry!! Get a job!!! You don’t have time to be on Facebook, you have children to provide for!!!
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Lmao some of you women can’t read for shit she’s not paying ANY OF THE KIDS allowance anymore for the time being. That kid specifically is having a hissy fit about it. No one is getting special treatment and I wouldn’t pull that from the very small child support you get.
I would never pay him again for any skills or activities that contribute to his own self care. Pay is for extra things, it’s like rewarding the child that sits in their seat when it’s what is expected, a simple thank you is enough.
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Tha Family is having to all cut back till we get jobs. Someone needs to mow lawns , babysit, and work out side of the home …. What ever.please reconsider the way you “ see” this boy… after all the years of being in your home NO ONE should be singled. He will hate you for this as he grows older and puts two and two together. out as an extra !!!
15 year olds have meltdowns, it goes with the territory, but he has a real point. If you are a family figure out how to do the best you can to work together and stop treating him like a handy slave and unwanted stepchild. May e he can use the family rake or lawnmower to make a little money? He is old enough to be made aware of your current financial situation in black and whotewhite. Go over the expenses and income so that he feels like part of the solution. I know that $80. doesn’t go very far and will not even buy food for a week as a teenager, but maybe he doesn’t know that. Also take advantage of any food pantries in the area, some of your tax dollars fo toward stocking them and there is no shame in asking for help. Also, have you looked into food stamps and other programs? Again, your tax dollars at work so if you have paid taxes you are just getting some of what you put into these programs back. However, you need to stop treating someone who is almost an adult, the way you have been! He needs to know lots of things for his eventual graduation into adulthood and it doesn’t seem like you are teaching him anything except that he is an unwelcome burden!
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Looks like he needs another family. It doesn’t matter if he’s biologically yours or not. Sounds like you’re playing favorites. Your kids are no different then him. Far as allowance goes he will have to learn that sometimes you can’t afford it. Also, you made the decision to take him and he’s your responsibility. $80 doesn’t go far and I hope he’s not going without because he’s not biologically yours.
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Tell him to walk it off and you supporting him means Utilities are on, hot clean water out of the tap, food in the fridge, and a safe place to sleep. period. Maybe also talk to him so he understands your “obligations as a parent”
when you invited him into your home he became your child and your responsibility. the 80 should be his.
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I would take away $$ allowances and change their reward to something else for the time being (still save the money for him if you can/want to). Maybe you could change it to a family outing a week, something that helps connections grow
Chores are something every single person on earth has to do without monetary gain, they have to do them to feel good in their own space.
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Teenagers are so dramatic. Only advice I’ve got is from the perspective of the teenager. Don’t get into it with him. Explain you can’t afford it and You wish you could etc. he’ll understand when he’s older.
You lost me when you made it perfectly clear that he’s not YOURS after he has lived with you he’s whole life…. Your heart is black!! 
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Gas and hygiene products? If he’s asking for outrageous priced items, I understand him contributing. Not for the basics
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My dad refused to give us an allowance growing up. Kids should not be paid to help around the house. They live there, eat, and enjoy the luxuries of all the necessities you provide. I agree with my dads opinion and value his lessons he taught me from a young age. Take the allowance away, he is almost of age to get his own job. Guide him on that route. At 15 he should understand why you can no longer afford to give him an allowance. He is acting selfish
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Sounds like a typical teen - my 15 yr old has an after school job at McDonalds to earn his pocket money and does chores at home just because!
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It is disgusting that you treat him differently - what you do for one - you should be doing for all!!! All 4 children are yours biologically or not… You stepped up to be the parent - be one!
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It kind of sounds like there is a psychological division between your 15 yo and the other kids. Do you pay for all those things without mentioning or counting it for your other kids? Do they also get charged for drives to friends? I totally understand being in a financial bind but you kind of created the definition yourself and now changing the rules. No wonder he’s having a fit! You treated him individually with his support money and now you want a team - based on that I don’t think you should just arbitrarily take it away.
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