First of all many states have a Putative Father Registry. It’s allows for fathers to legally step up before the child is born. It lists his and her names, states she’s pregnant and that he’s claiming responsibility. I would definitely look it up and see if your state has this.
Wow… I hate girls like this! If a father is wanting to BE a DAD, as long as drugs or abuse aren’t involved, LET HIM BE A FREAKING DAD! She shouldn’t have even told him about the pregnancy if she didn’t want him apart of the babies life but of course, anything can be said just to stab and hurt someone. She needs a reality check. Tell her if that’s the case, don’t hit him with child support down the road and tell everyone he’s a deadbeat and doesn’t want his baby. Which nowadays, I’ve noticed happens a lot even though being a deadbeat isn’t the case… It’s the immature girls just looking to get pregnant and dog the dads when the dads would be better parents.
She needs to grow up before she becomes a Mom. All she’s going to do is not only hurt you guys but that poor baby! This has my blood boiling.
TAKE HER LITTLE BUTT TO COURT. FILE FOR DNA AND ANYTHING HORRIBLE SHE SAYS ABOUT THAT BABY OR PREGNANCY OR ANYTHING YOU CAN, USE IT IN COURT! keep it in texts or record phone calls! But make sure you and your son don’t say or do anything out of the way because it could come back and bite you guys in the butt. Your son deserves the opportunity and chance to father his own child and no rotten girl should take that from him!
When the DNA show he is the father, he will have rights to that baby! I would definitely talk to legal counsel!
Easy court decision. They can set visitation rights
Look for a good family lawyer so they’re ready to help you get the ball rolling on the DNA test to establish paternity and custody/visitation. Keep in mind if she decides to breastfeed this may affect how visitation goes in the beginning. Also I hate to say it but be prepared to find out it may not even be his baby. It’s odd to me she even told him if she doesn’t want him involved.
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No judge even if the child is formula fed unless there is meditating sercomstances will give 50/50 of a new born most do not even grant overnight access until the child is 2yrs old
Fight for his rights!
Wait until the baby is born and file for custody through the court. They will require a DNA test or both parties agree they are the parents.
Well I myself would fight for joint custody. Prove it’s mine. And u should fight for grandparents rights too. She should be glad he’s standing up and taking responsibility…
Get the DNA. & get thec50/50 custody …& don’t ask her . Go to court …it will help keep things clear & understood…
File a paternity case
Easy
Why even say anything to him if she doesn’t want him in the baby’s life? My first thought is she is probably lying about the pregnancy and just wants his attention to get him back.
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I agree with everyone getting the courts involved now is the best way if he wants the involvement even if she caves and says fine he can because if she’s like this now and you give up court then it will be worse later on
Shes playing hard to get. If she didnt want him involved she wouldn’t even be phoning him to tell him. Request a DNA test and approach the court for a parenting plan.
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Document everything starting now. If she calls screenshot the call log, print it and write a note on the page in regards to what the convo was. If she texts save it but also print it out and start a file for the atty. Hire an atty asap so that she doesnt have time to relocate somewhere far away. Tell him to always be cordial in convo with her so that she gains no ammo against him.
So my son (now 24) had a gal tell him she was pregnant after they broke up. They were 20. He told her he absolutely wanted to be in the kids life. She told him no cus she didnt want him in her life. He called a lawyer but as it turns out she was lying to him cus she was upset he broke up with her. So you definitely need confirmation of pregnancy.
You need to stay extremely civil because anything can be used against you. As crazy as that sounds. Definitely keep record of everything. And definitely get an attorney and start everything. She can say she wants to pick the single mother route all she wants but the judge is going to give him visitation unless he’s a safety issue. And she should want that
She is “not smart”. She will be a single mother either way. 
and get a lawyer NOW. I’d have him communicate with her by text. It’s a record of what she says and can’t dispute things.
She absolutely cannot deny him his rights. Especially since she let him know.
He needs to go down to the child support office and talk to someone about setting up child support NOW, and ask about his rights for a DNA test as soon as the child is born. They have rapid results available and can also do an in depth one at the same time to double verify it’s his child. Have him voluntarily take parenting classes focusing on infant care and CPR. Trust me… it’s gonna look amazing to a judge that a young father took steps to provide and take classes to properly care for a child. She won’t have a leg to stand on and she cannot deny a DNA test ordered through the courts. Period. So if he sets things up NOW, he protects his interests, and the interests of that baby now. If it’s proven not to be his child, she is going to look like an ass. If it is his kid… again… she will look like an ass. A manipulating and controlling one.
Get legal paperwork started in the event it is his kid, and prove he wanted to be involved from the moment he got the news. She is playing a game… she is playing checkers and you two need to play chess.
I’d also see if YOU can talk to HER mother. Usually moms can smooth some things out and her mother may see her kid being nuts and knows the importance of a father in a child’s life
Tell him don’t give up keep trying to talk to the mother you never know if she’ll change her mind. Good luck
Literally unless she changes her mind. He will need a lawyer and a DNA test. Every Good Dad deserves to see their child.
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Very simple it took 2 to create the child it’s not what the mother wants. Tell him to put himself on child support get a DNA test pay child support get a court order and walaaaa. It’s not what the mother says that goes. If she wants the single mother route then she should tell the state she doesn’t know who the father is so no one is responsible for the child and no DNA test should be needed she can’t have her cake and eat it too.
Unfortunately if she doesn’t want your son to be there for the pregnancy, there’s nothing he can do about that. HOWEVER, she can’t stop your son from being a part of this baby’s life. Make sure your son talks to an attorney so he can understand what his rights are. Once he gets a DNA test to prove that he’s the father, then you guys can go on from there. Make sure your son does NOT sign the birth certificate until he gets those results because if he does and later on finds out that he’s not the father, he might still have to pay child support.
That’s pretty much it. Establish paternity and get a custody agreement after the child is born, along with establishing child support. Unless there are extreme circumstances neither parent will get sole custody. Expect at least 50/50 or 70/30.
Definitely get a family lawyer but most likely he’ll have to fight for it.
He doesn’t even need a lawyer right away. He just needs to tell her he will be filling for visitation.
Is there a reason she feels this way? I’m kinda wondering if there’s more to it then this
Get a lawyer. If he is the father he has rights
Paperwork , paperwork , the baby is not a bank acct ,he should have rights an not be sucked dry
She is obviously going the “bitter yound minded single mother route” if that is his child then all you can do is wait for it to be born and go the legal route. She obviously has no clue how hard it is to raise a child at such a young age or any age at that matter or the physcological effects it puts on a child when they realize and start asking questions about where is my daddy. I wish yall the best and i hope she comes to terms that your son is there to help and not make things more difficult 
F the mom it’s not what she wants, she should be lucky your son wants to be part of hid child life. Get a lawyer
He needs to make sure it’s his child!
She could move if they aren’t married my ex had many arrests he got nothing just be prepared and follow court orders
I’ll get DNA test first before I make any move. Real strange not to want any help or connection… "possibly " if it is his. After the test and it’s his I would do everything strictly by the courts . definitely make sure you let them know he is willingly wanting to help raise his child or if it his child …sorry file for partial or full custody ( with court order visits from mother)
Just seem strange for someone to want that… Yeah get blood test . He may not had been the only one two or three…IJS 
Definitely go legal route but if she really wanted to be a single mom. She never would of contacted him.
First of if she wanted to go that route, why did she even bother on telling your son? And if he’s the father he have a right to raise his kid
You raised a good son who made a mistake.
Definitely get DNA and then based on that, get a lawyer for his rights.
Depending on the state, she may not have a choice. If he files for dna which establishes paternity he can file for custody and visitation. Most states won’t grant sole custody and take rights from the other parent without a petition to terminate rights or show proof that the other parent is unfit.
She may also change her mind. It’s early in the pregnancy im sure, and the hormones that change throughout may affect her decision. He can actively ask how she’s doing and about the pregnancy.
First step! She sounds like she is vindictive, selfish, and very immature. Your son should be allowed to have just as much of a relationship with their child as she does. If he’s stable and has the means to provide, then she should be thanking her lucky stars… There is a lot of children without fathers and mothers in this world that would be thankful to have both parents involved!
Not to mention a lot of single parents that would love a stable co-parent for their child that is willing to step up and be involved! At the end of the day, her selfish decision to not include him in their child’s life, would only hurt the child!
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The father has every right to his child. Get the court system involved sooner than later
And no money to her until a dna test is done.
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Yup, just go through the courts.
I just want to say I’m sorry. I don’t think she’s understanding how hard being a single mom is. And infuriates me when women do this kind of thing. His kid just as much as it is hers
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DNA can be done before birth and may reduce baby mamma hysterics and posturing
Court is your only option
Take her ass to court
And honestly she told him she obviously doesn’t want to be a real single mother. She probably just wants drama or she wants him back.
Brace yourself and your boy now, if she’s already pulling this crap while pregnant, she’s gonna do everything in her power to keep that baby from him, or make his life a living hell.
Make sure your son has a job, a steady place to live, everything he needs to be able to take care of that baby, set up a parenting plan ASAP, make her do a DNA, call the hospital and let them know what is going on.
Also, depending on the state you’re in you may have a better chance at getting full custody, because she sound unstable herself.
She’s being vengeful. If she didn’t want him involved, she wouldn’t have told him. What a brat. 
Definitely get a lawyer and start the process now! Good luck!
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lots of horrible & incorrect info on this thread
- definitely more to the story. nobody in their right mind willingly wants to be a single parent
- OP needs to but out. her son is legally an adult so this is in his court.
- 50/50 doesn’t happen with a newborn
- nothing can be done until AFTER the baby is born and that’s IF she
a) doesn’t leave the state
b) even tells him the due date/when the baby is born
i’d love to hear the girl’s side of the story.
Have him get character references from his boss, former teachers, etc for his Lawyer/Court when the time comes because it could turn into a she said situation as far as character
If the state your son / and his ex has a father’s Putative registry , he needs to put his name on that asap. So many times a female will give the baby up for adoption , and the father is never told .
Lawyer. Now.
Mom’s dont get to make that decision unless its a danger to the baby and even then it needs to be thoroughly proven in court.
Fight for full custody after a DNA test…if she texted this please keep them for court if she didn’t make sure he tries to get voicemail or texts for proof
All of a sudden she wants to be alone. How come she didn’t go to a sperm bank and have a kid that way. If the guy is willing and able to step up and provide, then let the guy
What she wants and what a judge orders are two different things.
This sounds a bit sus! You can get paternity testing done before the child is even born. Establish that now and she will have to keep him informed of everything that happens during the pregnancy.
DNA test and laws informed for 50-50 custody this happens all the time and father end up traumatized to now end she sound like a hateful birch to me she will find out after child is born ask any older generation of having a child out of wedlock they struggled not physically cane mentally and not saying financially
Well, let’s to the DNA test first and see about doing the other legal stuff.
If he’s working, done school, and is mentally stable- there’s nothing to do until the child is born other than talking to a lawyer. Once the child is born, he can have his lawyer file for a DNA test. If its his kid, his lawyer can file for 50/50 custody. If its granted, than neither parent has to pay support to the other. Until that part gets done, file for temporary parenting time that way she can’t just up and leave.
Blood text ! ! ! ! DNA
And drug testing for her ! !
Not sure where you live but once he is determined the father some states start with 50 50 custody and a parent has to prove why the other one shouldn’t have equal rights
So she doesn’t want him in the child’s life but she wants his money? Naw little Prego girl. Doesn’t work like that.
Take her to court now while she is pregnant. DNA test. The courts will say who gets to see the baby.
She will have to prove he is unfit to even be around the child to stop him from seeing his baby.
He can also petition for full custody.
Get EVERYTHING documented.
Tell him to keep calm ever time he communicates with her.
Voice recording someone without their knowledge is illegal so if he is going to voice record he has to tell her at the beginning of each recording.
Remember everything you to do to her will be done to your son.
If he asks to drug test her he will be drug tested.
Voice recording her will also record him and can be used against him.
Screenshots of texts can be used against her but also against him.
Tell him don’t do or say anything out of line or that he wouldn’t want the courts to know about.
Tell him speak and text in complete sentences so there is never any alternative interpretation to what he said.
Document document document. Get a lawyer seek 50/50 or visitation whatever it is he’s wanting and will be responsible in pursuing in the child’s life.
See if your state has a punitive fathers registry and have our son sign up. It helps protect his rights. This will make it where he will be notified when the baby is born and paperwork is filled out. BC and Social security
Keep track of all correspondence between the two. Do not and I repeat do not let him lose contact with her.
Get a Lawyer. Complications later may change her mind. Such as the child needing a medical card through DHHR. They want to know who the father is.
I know someone that had the same situation. The mom even went to another state to try establishing custody there (the state over is very mother oriented). They (dad fam) had already filed custody and all that in the original state before the child was born.
In 2012 my ex said she was pregnant and she said nothing of this up until i had to send her back home to Pittsburgh because she cost me my job my family my friends and vehicle she took my freedom away with lying and crying to the judge that i was abusing her when in all reality she was doing this to me. Before she got on that greyhound bus to go back i had told her if she indeed was pregnant then i would be there for our child after she had left i was able to move back to my mom’s house i was going through my bags of clothes and paperwork and i found a pregnancy test that said it was negative. I took a picture of it called her and sent her the picture of it asked why she would lie and she said because she wanted to ruin my life and run my name into the ground . We never spoke again.
Just take her to court! let her be bitter and let him fight for his rights and keep all documents starting now!!!
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If they are not married he will have to legitimate the child through the court before he can ask for visitation. Start saving the money now! Do not pressure the girl because she can still have an abortion
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Im going to get shitheaded over this opinion. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this world with parents (and grandparents) already arguing over where the kids going to live and what’s happening with it. Is that baby going to pop out of her and instantly you two are going to grab it and run? I kind of feel bad for this woman, and you two, and especially the kid. Because 18 years is a long time Mama. Whole 18 years of arguing, I’m sure.
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HE has legal rights as the father but I would definitely get the DNA not to bash the mother but just to be sure for your sons sake. If parents can work it out themselves then do that because only the Lawyers win in Family Court. There should also be a custody agreement so everyone is on the same page and don’t forget children are blessings not burdens.
Let her take him to court, he can fight for 50/50. Custody.
FATHER have rights!!
Get an attorney, they’ll handle it.
Nope lawyers n court all the way its the only way to protect him n the child from now till the baby is born though she’s got all the say but he shoukd keep a record of when he calls her n copies of text messages when he checks up on the baby
She is not in charge. She will try to wear him down so he gives up. FIGHT! The time to pick the kid’s dad was before she laid down. It’s his child and he has rights. Go to court and take care of business. Congratulations grandma.
Keep up on her personal information to provide to the courts will be needed when asking for the DNA test etc
If it isn’t his he won’t have to pay for the DNA test.
LAWYER. My son in-law just went through this 3 years ago. Make sure the lawyer he gets is the best FAMILY COURT lawyer around. His lawyer should be willing to fight for 50/50 custody of his child. Nothing less.
Best of luck. I will be praying for y’all and look forward to updates.
I’d start talking with an attorney about this
If she said it in text message keep those and have him print them off. Have him ask her on the first of each month if he can go to appointments. The week baby gets here have him send her a check certified mail. So he has prof he’s trying and they can’t go after him for back child support. I say by check and certified mail so he has two forms of prof. Have him ask if he can meet baby. Have him communicate by text and if he calls make sure there’s someone there to record the conversation.
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File with the court, and get joint custody
Just bring it to the courts. She’s probably not going to reason with him any time soon, although hormones could be playing a role in how she’s feeling right now. In any case, he should start fighting for his rights now.
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Was he abusive to her?
Cassandra’s hubby does
Chill before she moves and hes out of luck.
That is emotional abuse to the child he has 50 % rights exactly the same as her hope you amd your son get this sorted xx
She’s doesn’t just get to make that decision.
The toxicity of “hey I’m pregnant but I don’t want you around”
The courts will force her to allow him to see his child if he is paying support !!!
Whatever he does don’t let him settle for just visitation while paying crazy child support. He wants to be there for the child, he needs to fight for equal custody from the beginning. Find a lawyer that has been successful for fighting for fathers’ rights and is against parental alienation. She’s already doing it, it will only get worse. He needs to have a good lawyer, not one that’s settled for standard parenting arrangements.
Document everything. Keep a log with dates and times, keep all communications. Documentation is huge!
Shes looking for attention! Do not have contact with her until the baby comes shes gonna be hell…
She would have to prove him unfit! Make him file things before she does.
He can get a Dna test before the baby is born and if it is his get legal representation
Just know they will more than likely put him on CS
He needs to do a dna test and get a lawyer.
Doesn’t seem like a responsible young man to me because a) he knocked someone up and then left, b) mommy is fighting his battle for him, c) does he want to or is he just saying that because that’s what you want?
Back off stay in your lane and let him figure it out. Help him when he asks but don’t do for him and make sure parenting is what he wants. Because it sounds to me you want the baby more than he does especially with the tone of disdain you have for his ex.
Edit: why are they exes? What was the reason for the break up.
Edit 2: why wasn’t your son using protection in post roe v Wade America?
Establish paternity and then establish a custody order. Then they go by the order and welcome to co parenting.
Document everything.Do not let her know he’s taken her to court.I would print everything out and get to a lawyers asap.I’d also see if you can get it court ordered for dr papers stating she is in fact pregnant.Not saying she’s playing head games but,just in case.
I’d first insist on the pregnancy verification. Then talk to a lawyer about DNA testing and go from there