That’s all you can do is go to court establish paternity and establish custody for visitation rights
Ask for a dna. Take her to court if needed.
Fight for 50 50 custody
My brother had a similar psycho and he ended up not being the father! Do NOT let her stress you out the whole pregnancy! Keep evidence of all her empty threats! It takes two to have a child and it isn’t just hers to do whatever she pleases.
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First of all she doesn’t get to make the rules. If it his child he has just as much right to parent that child as she does. The courts will set her straight on this. She’s not above the law.
This isn’t her choice. All he has todo is ask for a court ordered DNA test and visitation…
She can not legally deny his parental rights
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This is awful. Why bother telling him at all if she’s not going to let him see the baby or anything.
Just make sure he doesn’t argue with her she will turn everything against him. Just go through the courts it is the best for men unfortunately. Just have him keep an ear out on when the baby will be born.
She doesn’t get to decide that
My kids dad has it in my custody papers I can’t move more than 75 miles from home. My sister has the same order with her kid. If I do move he can take my kid away from me. It’s a law here in my state only if the kids dad uses a lawyer and it’s in the custody papers.
Why would she contact him and tell him… If she didn’t want him involved at all?? That’s just a little strange🤔 because she’s going to be one of those… That wants to use him to be involved only when she sees fit. He def needs to get a lawyer BEFORE baby is here. Get paternity established. And a court order for parenting time. To try and stop anything she will most likely do to prevent him being a father.
Keep copies of everything. Some states go after father for state aid after DNA is is established so if she gets anything through the state, they may expect him to pay it back later when paternity is established. This way he has proof of trying to help and her refusal, etc.
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That’s it and if she asks for support money of any sort document it very well
He can get a DNA test and go for 50/50 custody. It’s not her decision to tell him he can’t be a father to his kid
Make sure anything that could be used agaisnt him pics of partying or going out. Stays off social media. His friends or hers will screenshot and tell her everything. And she will use it to show hes unfit. Keep records of everything anything he buys for her. Everything. And going the court is 100 percent the right thing to do. Establishing paternity is crucial. I think they can before baby is born. But he needs to be on the birth certificate.
Custody is all I can tell you. You have to go to court for visitation, custody, etc.
Speak to a lawyer pronto.
I would only communicate through baby mama via texts and take screenshots especially since with the new phone updates, text messages can be edited.
Keep a hand written calendar of all communication and events.
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To the mother of this 19 year old man amazing job raising your son to take responsibility! Any and all calls emails texts from her print and get notarized so they are legal court documents. Make the courts aware of what’s going on and after all documents of communication are notarized make copies get a lawyer, make sure you keep the original and a back up copy provide a copy to your lawyer and a back up copy to them for the judge. This covers your son in every legal aspect make sure to request a DNA test for when the baby born if he is in fact the father fight for 50/50 or full custody depending on the situation of course. If possible get a voice recorder and have him record every call and he’s 100% covered legally. Best of luck to you and your son!!!
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There’s a few things that he can do:
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Sympathetic, supporting, non threatening
He need to stay positive and supportive. Not only of the baby but of her. No matter how difficult she’s getting! Weekly text message something of the long lines of but change it up every week:
Hey … I’m just check in with you. I want to make sure that you’re doing OK. Do you need anything? I’m always just a call away. I would love to go to your appointment if you feel comfortable with me going or taking you if you would like. -
Court/lawyer
If she’s proving to be overly difficult, refusing and refusing and refusing, blocking his calls &/ or social media. You’d better have a covert inside person if you go this route, because she will block, deny info & possible move. You won’t know where to find her & you wont know when the baby is born. I know in some situations and States you don’t have to wait until the baby is born to get a DNA test. Start making plans. When he gets 50/50 custody who’s gonna watch the baby while hes at work? He needs to make sure he has & set up everything the baby is going to need: a bed, diapers, clothes, bottles, toys & ect.
Is she actually pregnant? Sounds like a cry for attention regardless if she is or isn’t.
Praying for a good outcome. The baby deserves two parents. Definitely get a head of her and force her to stay in the same state.
She sounds unstable
For all you people saying child support . Etc , if he gets 50/50 for HIS child once paternity is established. He wouldn’t have to pay child support .
Now yes , I would save up either way the whole entire pregnancy, for emergency purposes and To be able to buy what baby would need , etc … I get child support because her father said he didn’t want to be involved at all and didn’t make kids who had issues (she was born with a rare genetic disease) he hasn’t seen her since before she was 1 . She’s 9 . if this dad wants to be involved, which sounds like he has no problem being present . He pays for stuff when baby is there with him & she obviously pays for when baby is with her . She already thinks she can do it alone. Give her a run for her money… let her experience being a single parent. Let her struggle, but not enough to where the baby struggles too… let her show the courts etc that she isn’t completely stable and capable , like she’s acting …
You don’t need a court order they do them in the hospital at birth! If requested or at least they did 17 years ago
Get courts involved Now do Not wait for baby to be born. Involvement now will keep her from jumping state or towns etc. Good job raising a son that actually cares to be a father!
There is no other route except for the court. Anything else will not be solid enough to guarantee his ability to be in the child’s life. My suggestion is to pursue split custody or at minimum (since the baby will be so young and small) visitation and maybe every other weekend. He should keep all receipts of any diapers or formula or clothing he pays for. Constant attempted contact with the mother asking to be involved. Show the courts he is actively trying to be in the child’s life. Go to court and get things on paper.
That’s what she say now
It’s possible her parents is the one pushing single mother. I’m not sure. However, her stating her wishes is fine, that’s not how it will be if it’s not what your son wants. Attorney!!! And definitely confirm the pregnancy first.
Wow, she sounds like a piece of work…. 
She’s either using this tactic because he said he would be there for the child but didn’t say automatically let’s get married!! Or she’s just nasty and wants a paycheck… smh 
Parent alienation… I don’t know if I said it right… 
File for custody and child support. So many people think, especially mothers, that they are automatically granted custody at birth. THAT IS NOT TRUE! PATERNITY AND CUSTODY HAVE TO BE ESTABLISHED!!! She does not have the right to say she’s going the single mom route. Contact the srs and legal aide in your city.
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she open the door, if she didnt want him to be a parent, she shouldnt have told him, he has just as many rights as she does,
I’d have HIM speak to a lawyer asap. Know your states laws and his rights. I really don’t think there is another option other then DNA test and court again. 1st he has to prove he IS the father and then go through the court to get court ordered custody/visitation. If she doesn’t follow court order have him document it and go back to court. I recommend all communication go through text. Some states have a communication/text app they can court order. So the court can see all of it if need be. I would think if she really wanted to go it alone she WOULDN’T of told him. Maybe she is prepared to go it alone and giving him the option. Unless you were there keep in mind there’s 2 sides to every story.
Definitely talk to a family law attorney in your state. Your state’s AG will require a paternity test, and your son will be accessed an amount for child support based on his income. However, by working with a Family Law attorney, he can also petition for visitation with the child. They aren’t married, so they can’t stop her from moving before the child is born. However, the fact that she contacted your son suggests that while she wants to do the single mom thing, she also would like child support at some point. Better to get all those questions answered before the baby is born.
Take parenting classes. CPR training and start preparing for his baby. If it’s not his he can be well educated when he has one & know better the work it takes to be the best dad he can be
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She screwed up by even telling him if it was me he wouldn’t have been told
Keep all texts, emails, letters and either record or write down phone calls if possible. He needs to show that he wants to b involved. Good luck!
In California grandparents have rights too! Look into your rights so she doesn’t try to withhold the child from you. This is an awful situation and emotions are running high but everything will fall into place. 
Keep record of everything and take her to court after paternity is established! That’s so sad.
Keep all message exchange between them save all receipts if he buys for her durning the pregnancy and or for the baby get a dna test and soon as the baby is born and file for joint custody and best of luck on this journey
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I would tell him to start talking to a lawyer now and get in the courts before baby is born so she cannot flee to another state and hide his child. If he is stable mentally,physically and financially stable he has every right to the child if it is in fact his. I would definitely tell him to keep any and all communication with her regarding this pregnancy and if he gives her any money to keep note of that.
Lmao who does this girl think she is? THAT IS ALSO HIS CHILD. If she didn’t want him to have anything to do with it then she shouldn’t have told him! He needs to get a lawyer and fight for his parental rights
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Why the hell did she even tell him if she doesn’t want him to be part of the child’s life? Sounds conniving to me.
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I tild my daughters father I was pregnant but he didn’t need to be a part of her life if he didnt want to. I didnt want him to feel forced into parenting. He is a minimal part of her life now.
She probably wants all the assistance and government checks . Why else would she wanna be a single mom with a father that actually wants to be there. Amd why tell him she’s even pregnant? She’s playing games
I’d ask for proof of pregnancy first. If she really is I’d offer help in the form of rides related to the pregnancy, invitations to dinner, moral support, and maybe a car seat and a bag of diapers. No more or less than I’d do for a friend and her baby. Cause they were obviously friendly at least once lol I wouldn’t get too attached or excited until I had dna testing done though. Good luck!
I’d be asking for proof of pregnancy along with everything else uve mentioned
…
Take her to court, she doesn’t get to dictate whether he can be part of the baby’s life. People like this make no sense.
See a lawyer and start keeping a journal of all calls , texts, letters, everything that happens, you will need it
First DNA . Then lawyer if it’s his.
Make sure you check your states Putative Father Registry rules and regulations and get listed on it ASAP… since they aren’t married that registry is pretty much the only thing that will give him any right to info about the baby without going to court prior to the birth and some aspects afterward. She can not legally keep the child from him if he’s listed on the registry and the paternity test has been done showing he is the father… Without a court deeming him unfit… Plus it will require her to put his info on the birth certificate even though they aren’t married, which will help tremendously with any future legal situations as well… good luck
I would for sure get a lawyer and depending on your state start the process. He needs to keep a log of every time she calls about the baby. So he needs to document date, time and what was said. That can help.
Dont sign the birth certificate untill you get the results of the DNA test than ask the judge to issue a new one with him listed as the father and that a copy is sent to his address.you can also ask if the child can have his last name
Lol she don’t have a choice. What a horrible person
Put him on the punitive father registry to prevent her adopting out baby by claiming ‘unknown father’
Definitely need to get in person proof from a medical professional and nothing you can do until the baby is born (assuming she is really pregnant). Then DNA, legitimization, and a parenting plan would have to get done. I highly recommend consulting a family law attorney… if she agrees to it they can do a DNA test before the baby is even born.
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Document all of his attempts to be involved. It’ll be helpful in court.
He’s a grown man…his issue 
Most of not all states have what they call a putative father’s registry. This is an important step to take now. Registering himself on that establishes some temporary rights such as being notified if she were to choose adoption. It doesn’t establish paternity or obligate him it just says I believe I may be the father of this child.
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She will want child support at some point which entitles him to visitation with the child
Save all texts between him and her, hopefully she’s sent txts saying she didn’t want him in the baby’s life.
Also he’s needs a baby set up at the house he loves
Pack n play or crib
Start the process now before the baby’s born
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Point blank he can go into the child support office and start that way so that they can walk him through what to do. That way if he goes that route they can walk him though what other resources are locally available for further help.
DNA test, take her to court, he has a legal right to his child and she cannot legally deny him that. Document EVERYTHING! get him to switch communication to email it’s easier to to keep records of with dates and time stamps.
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If he shows up to court and refuses to sign his rights over and takes responsibility upon a positive paternity test that it is his child. The mother has no choice but to comply with court ruling .
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When the child is born get a DNA done. He has all rights under the law. She can’t just decide that he will not have his rights to the baby
Tell him to document everything from here on out. If he gives her money it needs to be tracable so don’t give cash. In florida you are required to take parenting classes (or was when I went through custody) so I would look into what would be a requirement in the custody agreement. Check your local custody laws. Locally here if a mother is unwed she gets full custody of the child until a paternity test proves the father. At that time the father receives his rights so the faster you get paternity going the faster he has his rights.
Unfortunately y’all are gonna have to wait till the baby is born to really do anything you have no rights until it’s proven that he’s the father. And then you can ask the court for a dna test (which she can contest) and start a parenting plan it’s not custody papers. It’s called a parenting plan and in that he can ask the court for visitation she can also contest to anything that he asks for
I seriously hate women like this! Every man deserves to be a father to their children unless they have proven to be careless or a danger
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Unfortunately legally is the best way. That’s really shitty of her.
Everyone saying she’s intentionally keeping him away and that’s her choice unfortunately she can move states and pretty much do what ever she wants until the baby is born and is proven that he’s the father. I went through this with my stepsons mom my partner is the bio father and went for a parenting plan and he still has not even see the baby and it’s been over a year… it’s unfair but courts side with the mother and what she wants most of the time simply because she’s the mother.
Lawyer up. She wouldn’t have said single mom life unless she going for child support and not plAnning on letting you make any decisions. That is until she can’t handle it and needs a break then it becomes an issue and your a deadbeat who won’t take his kid so she’s the victim and she’ll make your kid one.
Sounds like you have all your ducks in a row. Good luck
Nothing you can do until then really start seeking lawyers now so when baby delivers you all are ready
My husband ex did this. We had to take her to court. Make sure you have her address so you can send the court papers for court date. Maybe see if you can file for court date now.
Save message. Save receipts. Look for lawyers if you can. When you first file file for custody so then it can at least be brought down to 50 50 that’s what we did.
File for paternity and have her served
Thought the court. Either one of u (not him) serve her with court docs or pay for a police officer to serve her. They will have a court date and require a proof of preg and paternity test.
After that is established then he can file for 50 /50 custody. They both have to agree to that. There is no reason he should be excluded. Ex gf would have to prove he’s unfit, and she has nothing.
With the docs required he can prove he has income. He should file first and put in his parenting time. Account for baby being newborn and needs to be nursed but there is formula so no excuse. Overnights matter… he needs to have 4 overnights a week to not pay child support. There typically two options for parenting time… one person only gets every other weekend. And the other gets weekdays and 2 weekends . Or u create own parenting plan… both have to agree… u can settle before trial… in mediation. If not u have to go to trial it’s very expensive with an attorney but Becuz paternity test involved, he will need an attorney. It’s about $10,000 or more if u go to trial. Yes! Start saving up! If u get dhs involved he could possibly get the paternity test done for free… but she has to be willing to go get it done. It’s about $500-$1000 out of pocket just for the test. She’s not gonna want to do test. u have to require her to get it done and file in court. Yes it is a hassle! If you save up about $5000 for retainer fee to hire attorney-that’s typically what they require.
I’ve done several court cases cuz my ex keeps stealing my kids. Also been falsely accused of crime and more court and attorney fees. Sounds like the ex gf is bitter and selfish like my ex’s so don’t be surprised if she creates lies and drama to make him lose parenting time. You need a court case to establish fairness and if she attempts to withhold child you can file in court to get child back. More money. She will get in trouble tho. In the end evil never wins.
She surely wouldn’t have told him if she didn’t want him to be involved
Just prepare a space for the baby to have when it arrives! She doesn’t get to make that choice in alienating a childs parent 
Your son should file for paternity and custody right now ao that when the ba y does arrive he can build a bond with his child right away 
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Start with a DNA test lol
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How tf does she get to make that choice. I am sorry for your son.
DNA needs to be done. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman claims who the father is, only to find out he’s not.
It’s not going to be easy. Right now it’s her body. She can move anywhere before she has the baby. She can leave father blank or put another man in the bc. If she truly wants to be a single mother there’s not much he can do.
He needs to start court proceedings immediately !! Get a lawyer …
Why did she tell him? He needs to fight that!!
Get legal help now. But most states are in favor with of shared parenting also know as 50/50….even states as conservative as Oklahoma.
He needs a lawyer now. What she’s doing should be criminal. Smh
He should pwtirion for a DNA test to be on the birth certificate and 50/50 custody. I recommend pickups and such be at a police departments where there’s cameras.
If 50/50, he should petition for no child support or the state minimum. He shouldn’t pay if the child is with him half the time.
OAG will do paternity test and will help with getting him visitation. They’ll also set up child support. All FREE.
It sounds like she doesn’t know who the father is… and before he gets his hopes up and or planning to be a father, make sure it’s his. Or let it be till baby comes , cause maybe it’s not his
She’s wanting to have full rights to tax returns, and food stamps, while she’s on state assistance they will go after him!!!
Willing to and wanted to are different things . If he is wanting to be there for his child and wanting to raise his child , I’d recommend reaching out to the Texas attorney general and he can get custody rights to the child after dna test .
Who is paying for the birth of the child? Doctor visits? Formula? Clothes? Child care? Cause single moms have to work. Shared custody 100% she doesn’t get to lay down the rules like he was just a sperm donor!! Besides you need something in court orders for visitation for him and you as grandparents!!!
I would start the legal process now. It takes awhile plus it shows that he’s been trying to be a part of the child’s life since he found out. And start having him document everything!!! All conversations in regards to the child should be over text message that way he has proof and she can’t lie about anything.
Definitely a DNA test and proof of pregnancy from your own doctor. Sounds like a scam to me!!!
Dude!! As a single mum with an absentee baby daddy, she should be grateful he’s willing to step up. If she didn’t want him to play a role in their child’s life why tf did she tell him about the baby? You’ve obviously done a fantastic job raising your son, be proud of that young man.
First of all, it is refreshing to hear that your son is wanting to be a part of this child’s life. There isn’t a lot your son can do at this time. The best thing would be to get a lawyer and petition for a DNA test. Then there will be a lot of waiting until the baby is born. Make sure to get copies of all texts between the mother and himself. PLEASE BE PATIENT as to NOT rock the boat, because the mother can up and leave and not give a forwarding address, then your son will have a whole new can of worms to deal with. Your lawyer will let you know what rights you will have after the birth of this baby. Hoping for the best in the future.
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50/50…
Sounds like she wants the $$$$.
Help him fight
He has rights.
Sounds like your grandchild is going to need you.
I wouldn’t worry to much just stay on top of taken her ass to court and don’t let her leave state while she is pregnant
He has as much rights as she does
Legally the DNA says he papa and he pays child support the judge will order visitation and baby mama cannot keep him away.
She can’t tell him that he can’t be a part of his son’s life… However, she can keep him for pregnancy appointments and the delivery. DNA test immediately (it can be done prior to delivery) and a custody order ASAP. Good luck to your son.
Courts are not going to take a baby from the mother unless you can prove abuse or neglect. The best one can do is fight for visitation.
I don’t understand why she would tell him, if she truly doesn’t want him to be a part of the child’s life. I can’t help but to think that maybe she’s not entirely sure if he is the father. Maybe it’s her way of trying to save face. If he gets a court order for a DNA test, and the child isn’t his, than he can’t really call her a liar, or say that she tried to take advantage of him. On the other hand, if there is a DNA test and the child is his, she can then say, ok, let’s work something out. Maybe she’s seen a side of him that she didn’t like, and doesn’t want that around her child. Did they have a bad breakup? That could have a lot to do with it. It could also be that she’s trying to prove to herself that she can handle it on her own. His best bet is to convey to her that he’s going to be there regardless of whether or not she wants him to be (providing he is the biological father). Maybe give her some space, but have him reach out through text (to establish proof of communication about the child, if necessary) every few weeks to see how she’s feeling, how the pregnancy is progressing, and to offer a helping hand. She may come around and want to co-parent amicably.
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There’s nothing you can do but wait until the child is born. Not sure for other states but in Florida any child born out of wedlock… mom automatically have full custody until the father petition the court for custody.
It’s pointless to waste money on a lawyer right now, just wait after birth and have your son file for custody (of course DNA will be done to confirm if your son’s dad).
It seems odd for the ex to reach to your son and let him know she’s pregnant and doing it alone. Majority of time women who wants to do it alone don’t even bother saying a word to the potential father. Best of luck to you guys
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