My almost two years old constantly screams. He throws a huge fit if he doesn’t get what he wants or if his sister makes him upset, he will scream on the top of his lungs sometimes hit. I have done everything I can think of all the way from punishing time outs to just holding him giving him a big hug to calm him down! Nothing seems to work, and it’s frustrating I cannot help him, I’m sure he acts this way due to he cannot say what he wants and gets upset and just screams. However, it’s horrible because not only do I want him to not be upset like this, but it really hurts his sibling’s ears, and I can imagine our neighbors think we are insane. Any advice on how I can help him cope better or get him to stop completely or anything! I’m lost on what to do. I feel so horrible.
Toddler life… it’s a special time
Following cause my 3 yr old does this and we’ve tried everything I now have a 4 month old and it hurts his ears as well
Wow I have this same problem and his also 2 years old
Speech therapy is an amazing tool that made my sons life MUCH better in his communication skills
Call me rude… but when my kids would have screaming fits I would flick water in there face. And guess what? They stopped screaming and behaved.
Squirt bottle works wonders
I’d take him to the doctor. Get him checked over well. Bring up your concerns. But at his age, redirection can work wonders.
I don’t wanna look like a “bad mom” but I used to scream louder than my toddler. They stopped screaming.
Did you try to do pictures with him like a cup or some type of food I am goin to try this with my 3 year old
Sometimes ignoring it or giving no response makes them realize that they r getting no reaction, whether good or bad
Let him scream until he knows he can’t get what he wants. It takes a few practices but in the end it works. I know it’s hard but it really works. He won’t like it the first few times. Also, take your other children elsewhere so they don’t have to hear it,
Get down on his level. Sit on the floor and stay calm even if he’s acting a fool. He’s trying to tell you he’s frustrated and doesn’t know how. Big hugs, mama, I know it’s hard. Make sure you’re taking time to collect yourself once he’s settled down so you don’t get overwhelmed.
My son would do this all the time
My boy has started doing this, I try to take him somewhere that is quiet, get down and say I know you are upset, would you like a cuddle, if he keeps whining/crying, I leave the room, if he follows, I repeat the same thing, usually calms down after me leaving the room only once, and it’s usually when hes tired, or if it’s not a bad one, I can ask him ‘where is your car?’ Or ask where something is, distracts him and he goes off to find it.
Ignore it. The less attention you give the bad behavior the less likely they are to keep doing it.
Try sign language for basic common stuff. The pick it up rather quick. Talk to the dr if you think it’s more than a normal 2yr old behavior
There are so many different tactics to try. Have you done complete ignoring? How is his understanding of communication even if he can’t articulate? Simple instructions? I’d start by picking him up when it starts. Put him in a safe space, his bed, a specific spot on the couch, etc. Then completely ignore.it will take time the first few times. I’d also start it with “this hurts mommy’s ears. Let me know when you’re all done”. If that’s out of the question, my son has responded to squeezy hugs. Pressure is a great thing for kids in general as they struggle to learn how to handle emotions. But no talking again. Dont feed into it. AS SOON as he even begins to quiet “oh yay are you done?” And if he quiets make a big deal about it. If not say ok and ignore again.
Advice I can give is stop answering to the screaming and stop tending to the pointing and grunts. When I told my son he needs to vocalize what he wanted rather then scream at me it helped and the screaming stopped. It first started with up then cup and we got further and further as he gets old now he screams to be a dick but he also talks very well
I started throwing a fit for like 30 seconds then stop and tell him it is his turn. He’s usually so distracted my be acting like a fool he stops instantly.
I’m mom of six. …1st all kids are different …2 is a very hard age but also fun …a lot of 1st happen at that age …try not to miss out on them … Communication is very hard try sign language…most of all calmness and consitancy is key…stick with one thing …it gets better I promise …then they don’t like you lol …
When my boy was 2 he done the same thing throw himself on the floor hold his breath i blow on his face so he would breath ? Was at the doctors he done the same in frount of the doctors doctor said he will breath before he dies i look horrible at him doctor smiled at me and said just step over him he only looking for attention so whenever he done it again i would step over him and do what i was doing only took 3 throw downs and he got over it
Does he have any development delays? Ears checked?
My daughter started throwing screaming fits like that when she was 3. My MIL is really into herbal medicine and such. She suggested magnesium for my daughter. Apparently it also helps with going to sleep as well. It worked well for my daughter. I still give it it her because she still has trouble going to sleep at night. I go to CVS and get the 400 milligram chewable tablets. But I am sure you can get it at pretty much any local drug store.
I let me 1 year old pitch a fit . I’ll turn my back to him. Or sit him in the crib
Try redirecting, giving one on one time, positive reinforcement, keep your cool and have patients… Try teaching him ways of getting out what he wants to say… My youngest 2 were both non verbal due to autism… Use symbols have him point ask questions… Teach him slow deep breathing… Start as a game… Then impliment that game when he starts to break down… Also removing him from what ever area having the issue also seemed to help… Also id seek professional help… In ohio we have help me grow… Its a program to help kids under… i think it was 4…
Can you imagine being 2 and noticing you have so many emotions but not sure how to handle it? Esp frustration? You have to teach him the right way to handle those.
I have 4 kids. All extremely well behaved and that wasnt luck. My 2 year old will get put in time out after ive tried to talk to him and give him a warning. When he gets out we talk about it. I tell him it’s okay to feel frustrated, angry, whatever. But he can not scream/throw a fit/ whatever. Consistency is key. Do the same thing EVERY time. Hes 2, dont let him rule the roost
It sounds like he is having difficulty communicating and that can be helped by speech therapy even at two years old. Look into Early Childhood Intervention in your state. Evaluations are free to you and you do not need a doctors referral to get him evaluated. Therapists can help you with his behaviors as well and help determine if it is behavioral or sensory needs and work on strategies to help him calm down. Please message me if you have any questions!
I’m not sure what you’ve already tried but taking the kid out of center of attention so take to another room or hallway and leave kid there (hide around corner so can hear if stops crying) also giving choices helps …like wear this shirt or this shirt… eat this or this… keep to two choices.
Teach him some signs to help him communicate better.
I would lay him on the floor where he is safe and leave his ass there when he sees he is not getting the attention he will stop. Ignore it and no it’s not as easy as it sou I used to out my head in and now I just give him this look and he stops immediately I have never had to hit him. He will be a lonely crying ass kid lol. Once he learns to speak instead of cry it wi get better correct it now or your going to regret it
My son was doing this at age 2 until I put him in speech. He got so much better so fast. He learned to actually use his words instead of the screaming. He is 5 now and just finished 4k. He had some moments during his school days that it he didnt get his way he would scream. Bit his teachers was so amazing and so patient with him. They would redirect him and encourage him to use his words and he would do better. He is no longer having these issues at home. He is still in speech and thriving daily. It takes time. Especially if they are speech delayed. He had been in speech since he was 2 and still continues with it. Best decision I ever made for him. Have his speech checked.
Honestly talk to your Doctor something else could be wrong. And record it for dr to see
Girl watch super nanny lol
If it is just him being stubborn or angry that he isn’t getting what he wants, put him in his room and say he can come out when he’s done. The truck is making him actually stay in his room. You may have to keep putting him back and explain he can come out when he’s done. My youngest daughter was our fit thrower and is still bull headed. We have to just ignore her or put her out of the room so she knows no one is paying attention. Now she is 4 and goes back to her room on her own to throw a fit.
Cold water in face works great.
My eldest did this. I turned it around and threw a tantrum right back and it shocked her out of it. Granted we were in the middle of walmart but I got my point across and she quit that mess
My son is the exact same way! He will be 2 july 31st. He doesnt speak yet. He will say mama, dada and hot. He understands and does simple directions… can point to eyes, and all that jazz… but he grunts and points and screams and screams and screams did i mention screams? . I have brought up his speech since a year and a half to his dr and he just pushes it aside… I have 3 other kids, and he was a month early, so this is 100% new to me. I’ve tried to calm him down, I’ve tried to redirect him, I’ve tried sign language, i have tried show me, I have tried to repeat the word a million f_ing times, I’ve tried so much stuff! It’s frustrating and exhausting, and if I feel this way imagine how he feels. I know it’s because he cant communicate what he wants/needs. And once Again i will bring it up to his dr at his 2 year, hopefully get some speech therapy going!
Sorry I’m not much help, but, I am with you, and I hope he finds his words soon.
My son just turned two last Sunday he is our second child. He was colic, now he doesn’t speak. He knows how to say a few words but he really only speaks when he wants. He actually signs but he does cry a lot to communicate, it can get frustrating we just have to have patience. I would ask your pedicatrican about speech therapy, we got referred because he should have been saying at lest 3 words ( it has made a big improvement from where he was a few months ago) most for kids 3 under go thru the state and they usually have a center or someone who will come to your house for sessions. We did that for a while with my oldest then when we moved we actually went thru a therapist office and we sAw such a major improvement with our oldest that we decided to for go using the state and send our youngest to the same lady!
Another suggestion is when my kids get so upset that i can tell they are past the point of no return I’ll tell them “let’s go to your room so you can calm down” then once there I tell them you can come out when you are calm. Rarely do I have to stand by the door (I did in the beginning stages but not anymore) it’s essentially like time out however they can play with their toys and what not, this just gives them an opportunity to calm down an collect their emotions ( it Like when you an I get mad and we just need space to cool off ) this is exactly the same thing an we usually feel better afterwards… then you can try to communicate about the situation that got him there. I actually had a church friend who gave me that advice she is older her kids have all grown up since but it works! It was great adt
What are your suggestions for an 18 year old that does the same thing
Acknowledge his feelings, “such and such” “has really upset you hasn’t it”. Tell him its OK to get mad but we mustn’t scream, we can try “this and that…eg going in a quiet corner for a while” etc etc. It really works!
Count of 3 I start throwing out your toys??? Might be worth a try?
Flick him in the mouth. Hear me out. DON’T flick hard; it’s to get his attention. Do it every time he goes to let out another one. And DON’T FORGET to explain to him that you’re going to do it and why you’re doing it.
DON’T flick hard.
Give him the words he needs to explain himself. Start talking to him more about anything and everything. 1.5 year old talks a ton. I’ve been talking her ear off since birth lol
Lots of times kids are just looking for a reaction. Sometimes the best thing you can do is ignore them and let them scream it out and throw their fit. If they know everytime they scream you’re going to come running and scoop them up then they will keep doing it
Have his hearing checked, does he talk? If not get Speech evaluation. Talk with Pediatrician. Use sign language make picture signs all around your house. Stop punishing give him words, signs or some way to tell you why he is screaming. Orgone scream but once you start you can’t give in or you set the time higher everytime you speak to him after he starts. So he will scream longer. You have a medical problem, mental illness or behavioral problem. You need help start with your Pediatrician if they don’t listen find one that will.
Following because my son is about to be 2 and he throws fits to the point people look at us thinking im stealing the child
If he’s not able to verbalize his feelings maybe look into speech therapy. It helped my son TREMENDOUSLY!!!
I have worked in the mental health field for 15 yrs. We learn at work to ignore the behavior not the person. Which means speak and take notice if needed for safety or asking something with reason but don’t look or respond to them when acting out. Walk away, continue doing what you were doing, say what you need to once or twice and then dont repeat. They already heard it but may need time to process it or maybe just waiting to hope they get what they want. If their behavior gets what they want or your attention they will probably continue acting out. Hope this helps. Worked for my kiddos too.
Possibly highly intelligent, could be on the autism/aspergers scale. My son had colic as a baby also. He did get much better once he could talk. He also “magically” started reading just before his third birthday. I bought him a Nintendo 64 at age 4, made a huge difference. It’s difficult to know exactly what it is when they’re so little. Boredom is a real possibility, unfortunately.
My son is a 27 year old computer whiz now, hang in there!
Omg my first born was like this, the screaming would last anywhere from 10 mins to and hour. It honestly sounded like he was being tortured arrrggg. He grew out of by his 3rd birthday. I think it is just because they can’t verbalise what it is they really need or how they are feeling. I use to just take me son into his bedroom and sit on the floor till the screaming fit was over then hug him and try and get him to talk about his feelings
2 is hard!! My daughter spent being 2 and 3 yrs old doing this. It’s to test our limits. Hang in there it gets easier just remember not to loose your cool.
My daughter does this sometimes be respectful of his feelings and try to help him but at the same time don’t let him walk on you yes he’s a baby still but he has to learn it’s not ok and you will not accept it get a deep meaning voice and mean it be louder then him one word to let him know you are mom but before that try getting on his level point at things he normally has like a bottle make up a word he can say and call it that or show him simple sign my daughter will be two in a couple months and her milk is her numnum find things that work for him now don’t worry about Dow the road he will learn what words are like milk but if you point at something and say it while looking at him make sure you say it slow and show him your mouth movements and if he doesn’t get it move on don’t stay on one word if he doesn’t get it simple things like bird if you see a bird in your yard my daughter can say that but not dog
I know this might not be a popular choice but i put chili in my kids mouth… Yes they will cry more at first of course have water and milk ready… But screaming if ur not hurt or an emergency is a no no from me… After a week of this less it broke the habit… Now unless ur child has a delayed speech or emotional issue and can not find his words to express then u need to give him the words/ or pictures to articulate himself…
My son was great until he turned 3. He is now the king of tantrums. I just put him in his room by himself with the door closed until he is finished. Sometimes it’s 2 minutes, sometimes it’s close to an hour. Since I have been doing this for a while now, they seem to be shorter and shorter. I know it’s hard to sit and listen to it when it sounds like they are being tortured but as long as they aren’t hurting themselves, gotta just let them scream it out alone.
When he screams put him in his room and shut door. Let him know not appropriate behavior. My daughter babysat for a screamer. She would call and say mom what do I do it worked.
Put him in a safe space to calm down. When my 2 year old loses it and throws a fit and starts hitting and throw and kicking me and our cat and things in the house. I tell him I see it I understand hes mad or angry or frustrated but he needs to calm down or you cannot help him. Then put him in his room or crib and tell him to calm down and then you can try again
At home I ignore my child, if she hits me, she gets a time out but I don’t acknowledge tantrums. In public we leave and on the rare occasion it’s necessary she might get a little pop to the leg to get her attention but that’s only if she’s not listening in parking lots or on sidewalks where it’s too dangerous to not listen
REALLY sounds like he may need speech therapy.
Ugh i feel this my daughter is 15 months and has started doing this recently…
Terrible 2’s are a real bitch. They’re testing their ability to get a reaction. The more you react to things no matter how bad, the more they’ll do it. Be consistent and don’t give the attention they’re looking for when doing that
Bust his butt… I’m sorry they will act like that because you have allow them to get away with it ! I believe in spare the rod spoil the child and guess what my kids turned out great! There’s a difference between beating a child and leaving marks then getting their attention. Bad behavior is something’s that’s not acceptable and everything has a consequence ,you just had to make the quants consequence worthy of the bad behavior and stick to it.
Following!!! My 3 year old boy does the exact same thing. He has trouble with his speech and I have an 11 month old daughter and all my attention basically goes towards him because I never know what his deal is and IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING!!!
Sounds normal. I validate his feelings as best I can “I know you are disappointed i would not give you a cookie” (teaching him to express his feelings) but I dont give him what he wants, unless it’s a need. I wait out the tantrum until he’s calm. And then explain further. He seems to feel better when he knows i understand him.
For hitting or biting i remove him from the person say “no hitting, that hurts” and give them attention. Like “oh poor daddy are you OK?” Usually he cries and then I make him “apologize” and give hugs or something
One of my sons would scream if he was annoyed at about 2 years old, I would tell him we don’t listen to screaming and pick him up and take him down to back fence and say when you can stop screaming you may come back in the house. It would take about 5 mins (poor neighbours ears) he would knock in back door and say can I come in I will be good now. Took only a few times and he stopped it.
My son would throw fits…scream…rock back and forth often banging his head on wall or baby bed…age 2 children should be able to communicate somewhat…my son had many ear infections…which caused delayed learning…his main problem he could not hear…that caused mixed signals…confusion and frustration…he had tubes put in 3 times …age 5 finally they agreed to pit tubes in …remove tonsils and burn out adenoids…he is 30 now…hasn’t had much more than a common cold since ahe 5…check all medical things first…so hard to know what could be causing his tantrums…look for signs like loud talking or screaming…rocking…confusion…good luck
A nice soothing tub time w some toys any time of the day.
If u want a more untraditional approach lay next to him a start crying with him. May sound strange but I heard of some parents doing it and it worked. Good luck
Terrible 2s won’t last!
I have taught basic sign language to babies. It definitely helps with communication like being hungry or wanting more of something or please and thank you.
I’d recommend finding a child psychologist. I know some autistic kids may do this too so maybe get him tested. Have you guys tried sign language? If he can’t talk it would help a lot to be able to express himself that way.
I took my son to occupational for years dir the same problem for is to find out he had ADHD but some of the therapists advice were to redirect, time outs, no yelling or spanking, flat out ignoring, reward system with stickers and prizes, high appraisals.
We used signing times videos with our daughter. It curbed the tantrums tremendously.
Iv a 2 year old girl omg she can scream so spoiled her siblings are 19,15,10 she doesn’t give the 10 year old a inch
I’m dealing with this issue with my 2year old as well. What I have found out that works is do not ccxacknowledge his fits/screaming continue with what you are doing. After a few minutes I will ask him if he is finished, most times he says yes and stops. If he continues throwing his fit/screaming, I try redirecting his attention to something else like helping with a task or letting him color for a little bit. Children need to let out frustration, stress and anger just like adults. Now with the hitting, you need to explain to him/her that it’s not nice and not allowed. Might have to explain several times. I have to remind my son and older daughter not to hit. Hope you find helpful suggestions.
This is a phase. Stick to it, he will grow out of it if you don’t reinforce it.
Following ! Mine is doing the same and I’m going crazy
When he screams how do you respond? Do you give him attention?
Everytime he screams, put soap in his mouth. Or a drop of hot sauce. They learn eventually
My baby does that and I pretend I’m crying when he hits me. And he hugs me to say sorry. And as of him throwing fits dad will have to talk to him because my son respects her his authority more then mine I think its the voice lol. When my kid throws him self I walk away. And then when he calms I hold him then.
My son is almost 4 and I had dealt with the same problem up until recently. Everything had to be his way and if he did not get what he wanted when he wanted he would scream, hit etc. I tried everything, talked to his dr etc She told me it was just terrible twos. I had never seen a child behave the way he did. He did have speech delay and I think that was part of it, not being able to tell you what he really wanted. The best thing that worked for me was talking to him calmly and redirecting his attention to something else. He started preschool last fall and these last few months I have seen him transform. His behavior has gotten so much better and he is more patient. Good luck, I know how tough it can be.
Show him/model what he can do when he’s frustrated instead of hitting (do this and practice when he’s calm - our brain shuts down when we are in fight or flight). When he STARTS getting frustrated (before it reaches full blown tantrum), remind him of what to do and then reward him with tons of praise if he does it.
Sensory processing disorder maybe? My daughter is similiar and she has it. Try doing a detox. Heavy metals can accumulate in the brain from vaccinations if he is vaccinated. PBX is a good one, just ordered some. Its pricey but it has excellent reviews
not able to recognize emotions and trouble verbalizing. (which is common for that age). Try different approaches to help it or give methods to calm them.
Punishing your child for a response they don’t know is wrong is just awful. Is he able to talk at all? If not he probably needs to be evaluated by a dr for any special needs he might have. Children have a lot of BIG feelings and it’s hard for them to express those feelings… Don’t teach him it’s wrong to express himself. The best you can probably do is talk to him, distract him or just flat out ignore him until he is ready to talk and you can explain why we don’t act like that.
When he screams toss some water I. His face
My 4 year old son does the same he even hits hard on doors or anything in his way
We just ignore him does not help but you know he will grow out of it🤣 hopefully
Lately he has started to hit us
Act like he does or lightly tap his mouth
I would drag my kid into their bedroom, and tell them they had to stay there until they behave, because no one wanted to hear them throw a fit. Sometime they’d cry themselves to sleep, sometimes they would come quietly out in 10 minutes, and sometimes not for a half hour.
My son went thru this too and it took me all i could to do this but i would get down on his level and tell him aiden i know your upset but mommy cannot give you what you want (or say i dont know what you want ) and this isnt the way we get it.
Its normal. Just tell him to calm down keep emphasising using his words. And tell him its ok to be upset you understand and just calmly talk him through it. You are the role model. Eventually he will see and mimic you. Change his attention also.
I actually talk to her like anyone else.
She is 20 months and tell her “ please stop screaming” while putting my finger on my mouth
And then distract her. She is just so upset that she has no other way to express herself. Lately, she has been following my direction.
Sometimes, I just lean over and hug her.
She’s only 20 months so not sure how long this may work.
It’s absolutely just a developmental phase. The number one key is to stay calm and not get caught up in their emotional state. Model the behaviour you want to see, redirection helps. Join some gentle parent pages as they have amazing developmentally appropriate advice. My heart hurts reading some of the so called advice in these comments. He’s so little still and when you understand the brain development and what milestones they are at it helps. Good luck mumma, hang in there, like all of the other difficult stages I’m sure you’ve been through, this will pass. xx
There are great children therapist that work with expressing and understand how they feel, i know your thinking to young for therapy but it will
Make a world of difference
My 3 year old does this and it just cuts thru me. I feel your pain. I am getting more stern with her now because she is old enough to know better. She still does it when the two older kids do something or have something she wants. I put her in time out for 3 minutes and then talk about no screaming, you need to use your words etc. To be honest I really don’t know if it’s working or if she is just getting her way because no one wants to hear her screaming.
Everything you’re going through is completely normal. My son didn’t start talking until after his 2nd birthday and that was with a lot of intense practice! At almost three we are out of terrible two phase (which started around 18 months!) and now we’re entering the dreaded threenager phase. Do your best to keep your patience and know that this too shall pass. In our house we have time out for the times when he needs a break from the stimulation that’s contributing to his behavior, and then other times when it’s a compliance issue like please put down the toy so we can get dressed, I’ll count to three. He knows if I get to three and he hasn’t done as he’s asked, the toy gets taken away. Just do it without anger. Be very matter of fact. #boymom
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I have heard that when they having tantrums, u need to go up to them and hug them and console them till they stop. Even if they screaming and throwing punches… it calms them down.
My 6 (now) Had few in his 4 n 5 n we tried hug approach which helped. Than we talked about it And see the problem and solution for next time he might get angry. Funny he tells me now days if I get angry to take 3 deep breaths…lol…
My son does the same thing. We just redirect him. I have all the time in the world right now. Be patient. It’s only a phase. Be strong momma💪🏻
What happen to a good ol ass whoopin?
Every kid is different. I know people who “stop that” and timeout worked for. I tried different approach completely. It only takes about 30 minutes but you can make cards and a paper. On the paper you have pictures of food, drink, etc so he can show you what he wants. Anytime he acts up you go to the cards and show him the card with smiling to frowning faces. Take a card away (a lot of schools use it) if the card stays smiling all day you get a prize. I started by if you make it to nap time you get one and slowly spaced it to all day to keep him interested. After a little bit he never remembered the cards or prize he just knew hey if I am good it is better. I completely done away with it when he just didn’t show interest because he forgot but remembered he should be good. (Piece of candy toy etc) a lot of people use just jar of candy or something. It takes about a week but they realize her sister kept a smiling card and she got a prize so they want to do the same. This is just an idea. It works great for some kids and not for others. Mine is a lot better if you talk to him instead of getting upset. You just nicely say please don’t do that and say why. If you raise your voice at all he does not listen to what you are saying. Like I said if varied from kid to kid but that is one approach that I had to change how I don’t things with mine. I tried timeout, no tv, etc and nothing. Thankfully that trick did