My two-year-old is throwing tantrums. Advice? My stepdaughter is going on two years old. She’s started this phase where she will start crying bloody murder for no reason. We try feeding her, putting on her favorite cartoon, coddling her, taking her outside or around the house, anything that usually calms her tantrums won’t work anymore. She won’t even go down for her regularly scheduled naps. It’s continuous, all day, and nothing will stop it. Any ideas on what could calm her? Thank you.
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Continous? All day? Id speak to her pediatrician.
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Sounds like my 2yr old. It’s a phase
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I found not giving them all your attention when they do that worked for me. So if my daughter starts acting up all i say is “when you calm down then we will talk because this is not the right way to act”. If she doesnt stop then i sit her down in time out until she calms down
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Remind her to use her words and then stop giving her attention.
My 2 almost 3 year old sits in time out. He knows better to not get up & I ignore all yelling & everything & will talk to him when he settles down. He sits there without getting up. At first every single time he got up I put him right back. & told him you’re in time out until you calm down. Over & over & over & over. If you don’t give in, they learn. Now he doesn’t even get up
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Iv been doing the whole… Do you want to go to bed… my Son is 2.5yrs its actually helping me he has been awful since 11mnts not constantly though but a lot throughout the day 
She is 2. You have just started with the fun. My niece threw a fit for an hour because she wanted her purple coat on WHILE WEARING HER PURPLE COAT… Turdlers are not for the faint of heart…
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Do these suggestions actually get back to the “fan”?
This question requires so many more questions posed to it. There are so many possibilities of cause, lazy parents to food coloring dyes to toxic chemical over load that could effect this child for the rest of its life. I’ve raised four kids and honestly the whole “terrible 2’s” cop out is bull 
.
Coddling her? You mean comforting? Tantrums are usually out of frustration. They are using the communication they have. It’s totally normal.
If it’s all day, like literally not stopping, I’d see a doctor, ASAP. Could be an ear infection, teeth, ETC.
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I know this seems cruel in today’s time but put a little cold water in a glass and when the child is having a tantrum, throw the water in their face and walk away.
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Ignore the ignorable! If it’s just a tantrum because she isn’t getting what she wants at the moment just ignore it. Tell her what words she needs to be using.
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Let her have her tantrums…stop going out of your way to do this an that to make her stop because that will teach her that she will get what she wants by screaming an yelling …walk away
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If you know she is okay, ignore her when she does this and when she starts hanging on you say Nope, not until you stop and use your words. She will grow out of it if you don’t feed into it.
When my son would cry all day for no reason it was a tell tale sign he had an ear infection! His babysitter would always tell me as soon as I walked in the door, we’d go to the pediatrician and always an ear infection. He got tubes and we finally had a happy baby!
Terrible twos UGH no cure
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Kids throw tantrums because they know they can get away with it. When they throw a tantrum… Walk away… Leave the room. Ignore them. You will see. They will calm down.
My kids know tantrums don’t work with me… I have four kids only one ever threw a tantrum. I ignored him… Walked outside and sat on porch. (He was fine… By himself. I could see him through screen door).
When he realised I wasn’t paying attention he stopped the tantrum…
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Try arts and crafts. It’ll help put her mind somewhere else
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Dont yell or get upset just sit down with her hug her and talk her through it tell her to breathe and make sure she knows your a safe place just talk her through it 
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Tell them to yell louder. Or that you can’t hear them. I did that to a little bit of a older child and it worked
Go to YouTube and search toddler throws funny tantrums… That’s proof enough.
You said step daughter. Do you have full custody or visitations? I ask because depoendent on how and when she’s “throwing a tantrum” can be emotional stress she might be having. My 3 yr old does this when she comes back from visits with her dad. It takes me about 2-3 days to get her back to her usual self. And there are different things I do but all in love but still being firm.
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We do time outs on his bed and he knows not to get up. He cries and screams because he doesn’t like it but once his time is up I ask if he’s ready to listen. If he says no then his time continues. When he was 2 he sat for 2 minutes, now he’s 3 so he sits for 3 minutes.
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She possibly could have autism…or on the spectrum. It could be several different reasons…I know autism this is one of the signs.
My daughters almost a year n will do this fake cry thing when we tell her no. And if she doesn’t stop when we try feeding, diaper change or being held, She sits in her cri for 5 min. She will either lay down n continue crying which means she sleepy n it’s nap time or she’ll stop n we’ll get her out. We don’t yell or even raise our voices bcuz she’s to young to understand why she’s being yelled at. If you start out young with light disabling then time outs as they get older won’t be as bad . (I learned this method in school)
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Welocme to the trouble 2s … make sure she is ok and nothing in the way to hurt her and let her throw her fit … you babying her tells her your ok with it and she will keep doing it … walk away but stay where you can keep an eye on her so she dont get hurt
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When mine continued this I’d just stick her in her room and let her scream, when she’s calm we can talk.
I cannot reason with a screaming child.
I tried all That calm spot, holding her, everything, nope.
She hated being left out so I’d stick her in her room… Worked like a charm. And I’ve worked with hundreds of kids. Typical toddler behavior , just have to prove you can outlast them.
My 6 yo did that when she was 2 and 3. I tried everything as well until my MIL suggested giving her magnesium. My MIL is really into herbal medicine and such. It apparently helps with going to sleep as well. I give my daughter 400 milligram chewable tablets. I get them from CVS but I am sure you can get them at pretty much any drugstore
Welcome to 2. Where you can do nothing right!
Get her checked out she may have other problems
Wow! I just spank their ass and my kids stop being brats!! It took about 2 time before they finally got the idea not to be a bratty!!
You can read all about raising your kids!
Maybe you used the book and spank them asss!
Kids don’t throw tantrums over nothing. You need to figure out what she is frustrated/angry/upset about in order to figure out how to deal with it.
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Pick her up and lay her on her bed or leave her sit in her tantrum space as long as she is safe. Do not respond given in or show frustrations she will getover it
What usually triggers the tantrums
I honestly walk away and let my son let out his little anger and he will stop once he knows were not giving into the tantrum .
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Act like nothing is happening. Once she realizes you aren’t paying attention; she will stop.
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Either take yourself away or invite her to do so. Trying to ward off a meltdown from a two year old is like trying to fill up a leaking bucket.
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And we all have to get the concept of no sooner or later. If that’s the case.
Patience and understanding, it dont last forever, we adults have breakdowns too
Honestly you might have to start letting her cry it out, she might possibly be doing this for attention (I dont know the circumstances I’m just saying) but it might be best to just walk away and let her know you’re not feeding into it anymore
Put her in the room and tell her don’t come out until she straightens up.
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Does she do this at her mother’s home too? All the parents need to have a conversation on how to handle the tantrums. Then follow through.
There are 4 reasons for behavior. If you can confirm the reason for behavior you can better handle the behavior
- Attention
- Tangible/activity(outburt due to removal of what they want ot wanting something specific, toy, TV, Specific activity)
- Escape(trying to leave the table when told "eat your peas then you can get up)
- Sensory stimulate
I would research the “functions of behavior”. Should you continue to have a hard time, I’d suggest an appointment with pediatrician.
I will would suggest, “planned ignoring”. This is where, when the behavior starts you remove yourself. Turn your back when it starts, even just simple eye contact can be reinforcing the behavior. A 3 step method can be very effective.
1 step at a time, only saying it once. If directions are not followed after first step, move to second step(say it only once). Moce to 3rd step(saying only once)
Say it: let go to our room
Show it: lets go to our room like this (gesturing walking to the room)
Do it: pick up child, say " this is going to your room". Physically take child to room
do not say anything else. Place child in room. Once child is calm for 30 seconds brong them out. Repeat as needed
These are Foundations of ABA therapy.
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Patience mama. They grow out of it before you know it. You wont even notice they stopped. At 2 years old my daughter was a trainwreck too. I swear this frickin kid would get triggered by wind coming in from a window. 
I just let her do her thing tbh. Besides, crying isnt hurting her in anyway. Its just annoying to us parents. She’s 5 now and we’re literally bestfriends so NO she doesnt hate me for ignoring her 50 million tantrums when she was 2. Lol.I thought she was gonna grow up throwing tantrums til HIGH SCHOOL but nope… she grew out of them seems like overnight. Idk what I did other than literally nothing. One day she just… stopped. Now she’s probably the most mature, calmheaded 5 year old I’ve ever met. Lol. You got this!
It more or likely just for the attention. Just walk away for a while
Could be for attention but it could be for something else. I would try to ignore the tantrum, but watch at the same time. At 2 they still can’t quite communicate well on how they’re feeling.
Terrible 2’s … they give not one F**k… God speed . 
Yes. Stop giving so much attention to the tantrums. Praise all good behaviors and withdraw your attention from less desirable behavior. Be consistent and your child will soon learn which behaviors get desired results.
Maybe it’s because the tantrums give her ur undivided attention. Stop. Let her cry about it. By constantly coddling her for throwing a fit just lets her know she can get u to do whatever she wants. This will lead to awful out of control behaviour
It’s called the Terrible twos
Lol my 1 yr old thrashes around and screams when I try to just change her diaper
I love this stage! There are SO many different kinds of kids & this is the age you start to REALLY see them! A few things you can try,
- As long as she’s in a safe place, walk away. Let her scream it out until she calms herself down.
- Scream with her. See if her seeing how it looks changes her mind on doing it.
- Get down on her level. Literally get down on your knees so your face to face with her & talk with her. Ask her what’s wrong, what happened, if she wants to tell you ‘her story’.
- Try playing with her toys. Pretend you don’t hear the screaming & take two Barbie’s/bears/dolls & make them talk to each other. Have one doll be sad, the other doll be consoling her-just like if she were to tell you what was wrong how you would act with her.
- Sing. Something she knows & likes. She may stop when she realizes your singing & start singing with you.
- If there’s an special activity she likes to do (color, draw, paint, make necklaces with pipe cleaners, so on) start doing that & see if she joins you.
There’s lots more you can try too. Your doctor might have some specific ideas or if she’s in daycare or any type of preschool yet they might have some ideas for you too.
Usually with a little time & love you’ll find something that works. Sometimes, not many time, nothing really will work & you might need some extra help with counseling but that wouldn’t be until she was a lot older.
Good luck with everything and never give up! Our kids are always worth it!
I drew an emotions chart, stuck it on the wall and taught my 2 year old different feelings. She’s 2 and half years old now and whenever she starts to get upset I ask her to show me how she’s feeling on the board and then we sit and cuddle to say it’s okay to feel this way etc also Daniel tiger TV programme has been great with cot rolling emotions I.e the song when you feel so mad and you want to roar take a deep breath and count to 4. She does this and it really helps xxx
If you’ve tried all that and nothing is actually bothering her, I’d say next time just walk away and ignore it. She is probably trying to get your attention and it seems to be working! It’s probably just a phase
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Welcome to my life! Lol!!
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Terrible twos the tantrums are her voice she’s not happy about something. Let her cry them out after a bit she stop throwing them
Terrible twos! My son is 1.5yrs old and already acting up… itll pass eventually…
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Is there any routine changes? This can throw little ones off and sometimes it’s simply just them growing and their brain developing. My son did that for awhile when he was around that age and my Dr said it was because his brain and body were maturing quickly but he was confused and overwhelmed with all the new things he was learning essentially which made sense to me. He outgrew it in a couple months and went back to a new normal only one nap later in the day and shorter new likes and dislikes etc. Hang in there and don’t get discouraged
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Walk away. Make sure she is somewhere safe (playpen, bedroom) and do not acknowledge the tantrum. Tell her when she is ready to come find you. Don’t worry. This too shall pass.
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Same with my granddaughter. We’ve found out that if we say nothing at all and just let her see that were nearby and not angry, shes fine after less than 5 minutes.
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Terrible 2s my son is doing the same thing
Do yoy have a sandbox? Seriously let her play outside uninterrupted…dont try to manage the play. Also watercolor paints. Its a big world and theyre little but want to be big. Playdoh, sandbox, kinetic sand, paints. Let them make a horriblr mess…outside where you can hose it off.
Ignore method! My toodler was like that but ignoring works. If they know that we are ignoring them when they have tantrums they wont get anything. Until they are calm you can ask what they need.
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Walk away, each and every time. Do not reward this type of behavior. When they calm down, then you can speak with them and do what needs to be done.
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Ignore method!!! 100%
It’s probably the terrible two phase, watch to make sure she’s safe, but don’t yell, coddle, or intervene.
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How much candy and sugar does she get look once. and check at what she eats and drinks. How much sugar she is really getting
Buy her a tablet so she can watch cartoons.
Oh boy yes find her somewhere safe and don’t acknowledge her until she calms down other than that there’s nothing you can do it’s called terrible twos for a reason 
Her brain is developing and she has all these big emotions that she is finding hard. When my son has a tantrum i sit on the floor near him and let him know that its ok and im here when he needs a cuddle. Walking away from them when they are having a meltdown teaches them that they cant come to you with their feelings. Put yourself in her shoes, imagine having all different kinds of feelings and not knowing or understanding them and the person or people who are supposed to care about you walk away and leave you deal with it on your own. Our calm is their calm. You dont have to give her attention for it but just be there. Hope this helps
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That’s what 2 year olds do !! It will pass
Ignore her when she does this step over her and walk away and tell her u wont sorsk to her till she is calm. Then ignore her
My daughter is fixing to be 2 in July and oh my goodness. She does the exact same thing. I walk away and ignore her after I make sure she’s okay because by then she’s beat her head off of 4+toys.
Turn and walk away when shes having a tantrum. The longer you entertain it the longer it will continue. It’s hard but when she realizes she wont get any attention for it she will stop
My daughter did this at 2 after we left for vacation for three days (it was the first time I was away from her). The change in her schedule caused it. I read two books and tighten our schedule and kept to it AND IT WENT AWAY.
I was scared. I had never seen her act like that. I called it demon possessed because she would flip flop and roll around and arch her back like a horror movie.
You said step daughter. Does she live with you full time? Does she do this at her other parents home? This is one of the many times you and the “other household” MUST be a team and figure out what is causing it and clean up her schedule to bring her back to trusting repetition/habit and trusting both households. . Best of luck.
Is there a way you can teach her some sign language? Sometimes giving them a way to communicate to you can really help. But like others have said it is very common.
Do you share custody? I would talk to her mom as well, along with your husband to see if happening at her house as well. If you need to bring in a specialist to help with the convo then you should. No child wants to be acting out all the time, it must feel scary for her as well. I would also talk with her pediatrician as well.
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