My almost 3yr old has been in daycare for 6 weeks, after having 1:1 childcare with a grandparent her whole life before that. Her crying when I drop her off has improved, but she refuses to participate in activities or do Anything with the other kids. She even asks to sit by herself for a lot of the meals. Even when they have free play she doesn’t grab a toy or even try to play by herself. She spends 90% of the day standing near the teacher just watching. It is so stressful knowing she has an awful time all day long and refuses to engage in anything! I’ll also note we have friends with a girl her age and she plays with that girl all the time, so its not all kids all the time, it’s just daycare. Someone please tell me you’ve had a similar issue or have advice or something to try! I’ve thought about switching daycares but I’m worried that won’t make a difference?
Just out of curiosity, have you asked your child why she doesn’t engage without making it sound as though its a bad thing she doesn’t? Have you asked if she enjoys daycare? Some kids just like to observe in large group situations and are completely fine with it.
She is just fine. Honestly, her staying by the teacher and observing is learning for her. She may be havin fun in her eyes. Keep her where she’s at, give her time to get used to things. She’s had 1 on 1 for a long time- 6 weeks is definitely not long enough to get used to daycare
Kids learn by observing as well as interacting. Give it more time. I’ve seen kindergartners begin the school year the same way. Alot of times it’s their first time away from their parents as they didn’t go to daycare/prek. They will observe and see what the other kids do. By the end of the year though majority time they’re including themselves in the fun. I ran an afterachool program for a couple years and that’s where I watched the kids break out of their shells. I would give it some more time.
Maybe she will feel more comfortable in a small group.
Ask her about it though .
You can also consider a babysitter sitter instead of a daycare
If you need child care I have 2 openings I have done it for 10 years
I work in a daycare and some take longer but she is learning by watching. As a parent the large group may be over whelming and too much stimulation and she may do better in smaller group. It also depends on how structured the classroom is…
Honestly if she isn’t crying all day or freaking out she is fine… She is still adjusting to all the people and activity going on around her all the time
My lo was similae when first started daycare about 6 months ago… Now does great and loves the teachers and other kids… Just give it time 6 weeks just isn’t long enough for her to fully adjust. And think if it this way she either has to get to used to it now or in 1-2 years when she starts school. Better to start early to avoid the kinder melt downs
You’re assuming she’d be happier playing with other kids & that she’s miserable. She’s choosing to be alone. She prefers it. What’s likely making her miserable is you & other caregiver’s telling her she’s supposed to be playing with other kids.
All my life I’ve preferred being alone. I never liked groups. My family & teachers always “encouraged” me to join groups. I hated it. It caused me to be miserable. First because I hated being around others. Second because they made me feel like I was bad for not wanting to be around others. I get crap even as an adult. “I never see people at your house.” Yeah!, Just the way I like it. My space is my space. “You have no friends, nobody likes you”. Correction, I hate people. I don’t want friends. Once I accepted I’m better off pleasing myself instead of trying to make myself how others say I should be I’ve been happier. My son is the same way. School forces him to be in groups. It triggers him. Then they punish him. They punish him because they’re forcing him to be uncomfortable & he can’t handle it. They’re causing emotional damage.
Leave your daughter alone. Stop trying to force her to be someone she isn’t. Tell the daycare she prefers being alone & that’s ok. Let her be her. Don’t screw her up because you want her to be a certain way.