This will sound cruel but if he is having accidents on purpose,put him.back.in diapers and let him know that babies wear.doapetscso.he most be a baby and if he refuses to eat let him go hungry. No snacks ,nothing but his regular meals .when he finds out he’s not getting the attention he wants ( which is why he is doing these things) he’ll soon stop. As long as he sees he can upset you with these actions he will keep.them.up.
5 Likes
If he does things on purpose and you run to him to change him…“HE’S IN CHARGE”. Let him sit in his pee until you’re doing whatever. He’ll learn the consequences of his actions. “If you pee pee in your pants on purpose, you’ll get itchy and thats not fun”. “If you feed your brother your food, you will simply be hungry”. Try not to react in the moment. 
3 Likes
Our 4 year old did that too only spanks (pops) or corner time stopped it and it was all cuz she got new panties and wanted to wear them
1 Like
I think it’s cute that my boys share food
1 Like
Man i just cried because HECKIN SAME with my son
Do you discipline ? A swat -time out-maybe put him BACK in high chair strap in at mealtimes? That’s a sure way he eitger eats himself or you can just show him he’s not the BOSS mommy is ;") I swat my bratty kids 1 n sat them down n talk to them n did a few times to reinforce our household ways , some can be stubborn r strong willed n just bratty at times mom of 2 grown now n Grama of 3 small ones --6,5,1 ,so still helping these little ones learn
1 Like
Three is the age that they really start pushing boundaries. They are learning a lot about social interactions and where there place is in different structures ( home, school, etc) this all sounds pretty normal.my daughter is about to turn four and we have had delt with a lot of this kind of behavior this last year.sbe also got a new sibling this year so things have been a little rocky. Make sure they are getting g one on one time and praise them for the things you want to see. Try and keep a cool head. Set boundaries and consequences that are appropriate both for the action and for there age. Kids at that age have big emotions and they don’t know how to handle them well yet, be patient and teach them. Listen and communicate. These are all things that helped me this year and my daughter is doing a lot better and I am handling it a lot better. It might also be a good idea to read up on what is age appropriate behavior at 3. These things can be hard but they are normal.
1 Like
I dont believe in spanking my child. I believe their acting out for a reason. He 3 year old he still learning. Having an accident is normal and he going to have off days. Explain to him to use the potty. He may not be hungry. Stick to a certain time you eat meal. Your reaction to things will show him how to handle things. I allow my daughter to take a break and express herself. He may need a little extra of your attention
1 Like
When my children act up I try to not let them see it bothers me. Especially when they are doing things on purpose. I’m not saying I always have the mindset to do this but I would say go easy on yourself and your child. This too shall pass. Go about your day as usual and try to not show that it upsets you. Simply say things like " if you are going to feed your brother your dinner then I will take it away and we can try again later" . Try to remain a calm manner and tone if voice. Use this for other things he is doing as well. " if you can’t, won’t, don’t want to eat… then I will, you won’t, we will…". Look into a lady names Janet Lansbury. She has many books and podcasts as well as blogs. My favorite book by her is no bad kids. She has a respectful parenting approach. It helped me a lot.
3 Likes
Wow thw amount of piss poor advice is amazing. this us where parenting classes need to be a MUST because some of yall treating a 3 yr old like they grown and thats sad as hell… Ma’am get parenting classes because obviously you need to understand how they are at that age and get on the pill because you dont need another with that way of thinking.
4 Likes
It sounds like you have the male version of my child 
And we have rules. And we discipline. And we have structure. And she gets PLENTY of attention & alone time away from her brother. I’m just trying to accept that it’s a phase, ride it out, stick to my rules and talk it out. Sometimes ill have to send her to her room for a couple minutes until she calms down so we can talk about what’s going on. Oh and her newest thing is “I WANT to be a baby!!” 
2 Likes
Could be something to be tested after a bit- ODD?
1 Like
Then put him to bed with no dinner. He’ll catch on
1 Like
He is THREE years old ! Give him a break. We have all been there and done that at times with our kids. Theres no need for play therapy. He will soon get over it and something new will be on the cards. The joys of having little ones 
5 Likes
With the bathroom accidents, use the method my wife took. Put him in diapers and tell him that he cant have big boy undies until he can learn to potty correctly. Make sure to get him undies that have superheroes or something. Then when he potties in his undies change him into a diaper and explain that ‘we dont potty on our friends’ and that once he uses the potty correctly he can put big boy undies back on. Worked to train our daughter in about a week. As far as the feeding, sit him away from his siblings and anyone else so he cant ‘share’ food. Then tell him that he has to eat what he is served or he cannot enjoy the things he wants to enjoy, such as screen time or toy time. Etc. Or he would get an early bed time, or if youd rather a reward system, if he eats what he is served a total of ‘X’ times he can do an activity agreed upon or get a toy or something.
9 Likes
Sorry this is a stupid question. But are you a single mom??? I was a single mom of 2 boys, between work, cooking, cleaning, etc. The younger of 2 boys wasn’t old enough to understand all the day to day things and he started being defiant. It got him “sole attention”. I guess in his young mind that attention was better then no attention. And my boys had attention!!! Just we all had things to do then after the chores we would play candyland, ball, etc. Just a thoight
1 Like
The amount of people that, smack their children is so wrong bad advice completely and u do relise its against the law child abuse hitting children 
their are plenty of other ways, with out physically hitting
2 Likes
It’s not terrible 2s it’s TERRIBLE 3s
My daughter just turned 3 Oct 3rd and WOW is she testing me lately…telling me NO … I not a spanker by any means however I did get a paddle and all I got to do is show it to her and she listens…
Maybe try that
#kids
1 Like
Maybe just put him back in nappies for a, short while and try again in a few weeks and praise him up with a sticker chart or a treat and just be persistent on everything it’s a stage they all go through its part of their learning and the more wound up you get the more he will properly do it I would get him doing fun thighs around the house as a, distraction look online at activities for toddler boys for at home they have lots of great ideas which barley cost anything get a tooth brush and washing liquid get him to wash his toy cars get some buttons and a fishing net and get him to fish out the button there are so many things it may help a tad just keeping him busy and a good run around outside
I have a boisterous three year old boy too and I think part of it is just the age. They are flexing their independence and testing the boundaries. Kids are amazing little scientists and we are part of the experiment! How much food can I drop on the floor before mommy loses her cool? How many times can I poke the cat before she swipes at me? We try to focus on time out as the punishment, and sometimes removal of a favorite toy if it gets to that. But also there’s a focus on good behavior too. We have a mason jar that we fill with marbles…every time I catch him at his best I put a marble in the jar. He usually earns three or four a day and when the jar is full he gets to pick a prize (I keep a basket of dollar store toys, puzzles, art projects and even some lollipops) this seems to work really well. Also he started pre-k3 a couple of days a week and that has given him some added structure and good examples as well. Hold onto your sanity, mama, this too shall pass.
1 Like
They call it terrible twos but it starts around 18 months and lasts till about 4,as a mum of 5 I can say he sounds like a normal 3 year old to me xx
mums stop punishing yourseves For goodness sake .What ever you do dont send to room ,they just play .I never had to scream I had a naughty couch So not a hard stool but if kids muck up i w ould put on naughty couch No tv and dont give in .If i went out and they muck up .No matte r if food came or not I would pay and take them home .You need boundries ,otherwise you will go nuts You are the adult yet you let a 3yr dictate to you.Naughty couch for sure
They’re called “threenagers.” Try a chore chart with what you want. Ours had waking up, brushing teeth, taking a bath, going to bed WITHOUT A FUSS. You could put no spills during periods of the day (e.g., 8-12, 12-4, 4-8), or whatever you want expressed in positive terms. Put in some really easily achieved goals (some things he usually does right) so he gets at least one gold star a day. Each good behavior gets a star, X number of stars in a day gets a treat (extra screen time, getting an extra story, 15 minutes later bed time, etc.) Food treat rewards are OK once in a while, but not often. Don’t focus on the negative or say anything when things go wrong other than “Oops!”—just deal with it. If spills, etc. happen, have him help you clean it up. Make your boundaries clear.
Take some parenting classes, read blogs, or read a book on parenting to give you tips and to validate your hard work.
Also, kids, especially boys, are boisterous, devious, mischievous attention hogs. Find stuff you can do together, preferably outside and physical: throw a ball, run up and down, look for stuff on a walk (acorns, pine cones, flowers, a flag, a squirrel, a big rock, a dog) like a scavenger hunt, hit the playground, eat out someplace new (with relatively quick service, and bring quiet toys, books and/or coloring book) with different ethnic food: fancy restaurant or food truck, go at a non-busy time (following COVID restrictions) just the two of you.
Incorporate him more into your daily routine: he can put away silverware, fold washcloths and towels, load the dryer with you, or pick his clothes out of the clean laundry basket (see if he can match up his socks), hold the dustpan while you sweep, push the vacuum, help pick up or dust, rinse dishes for the dishwasher, stir or add ingredients when cooking, set the table with anything non-breakable. This is the age they love to do what you do—take advantage of it! It also teaches life skills and let’s them be more independent.
Enlarge your support system. Find other moms you can swap time with so each of you gets a break at some point. Having other (well behaved) kids around always calmed my two, and they were well behaved at other people’s homes for some reason. Get relatives, neighbors, church/religious institution people you trust to help out. Heck, I put my kids in Sunday School and enjoyed a quiet hour of church where I could sit in peace (though in person church activities may be out for now).
Rec centers and boys and girls clubs may have affordable programs you can take advantage of. You can reserve a pool space (kiddie pool area or you hold them in a regular lane with swim diapers) at some. Jumping and splashing around in water guarantees a good nap! Bonus: you get a workout too.
If any moms on here live near you you can each take each other’s children for an hour or two to get a break. It’s also good for kids to see how other people live. Good luck! .
Mine are just turning 2 and they do the same… I’m not excited for 3… My mom told Hunter if he didn’t sit down (standing on a table) he would fall and he looked at her and goes “boom” and laughed. She repeated herself and he said no. Brantley (his twin) now throws food on the floor or in the air and let’s it rain back in him when he’s done or doesn’t like it. (We take the plate away immediately and what they eat is what they eat.) I’m not making another meal for it to be thrown on the floor. And before I get those “poor kid. You shouldn’t let them starve” comments, first off, I learned it from super nanny. And kids will eat when they’re ready. They won’t starve themselves. If you make them a sub meal just cause they don’t like it, you’ll make picky eaters. Brantley used to be a picky eater cause my dad would make him a sub meal, I broke that and now he eats almost anything.
1 Like
my son was delayed in most things and is my only child. We had emotional breakdown issues from lack of communication at 3 but it ended pretty quickly when he started talking. What I can say is I worked at a daycare briefly and those 3 year olds were buck wild. The potty training young 3 year olds was just a flipping nightmare… I believe they started some at 2…in any case I do know what you mean about them purposely having accidents . I think it’s more at the age they have no shame and not a lot of feeling yet. Some of the kids never ate or refused anything but snacks. I am here to commiserate, promise you it will change and just have faith and try to keep sane.
Some kids aren’t physically ready for potty training at 3. That’s normal. He WANTS to be a good big brother and help feed his sibling. Why would you discourage this? Just give him some of the food you’d put on the brother’s plate. Toddlers have all of our emotions and none of our maturity to process them. Remember BIG emotions, little body. You don’t need to hit him. You need to bring your perspective back down to earth and remember they aren’t meant to be getting this all right yet. You gotta learn to adapt and go with the flow for toddlers. Punishing them for things that arent actually wrong, but just not what you want, isn’t fair and creates and environment where someday they may not trust you.
Oh and also autism, odd, etc are completely normal IF you wanted to look into that route. I have 2 with ADD and one that’s autistic. All 4 give me hell 
2 Likes
3 year olds can be hard. They grow so fast though. In a few years this behavior will be a distant memory so even though its frustrating keep pushing through cos it goes by so fast. You can do it mum! 
2 Likes
This too shall pass.
He’s 3! It will pass
1 Like
If you feel like it might be more then threenagers certainly talk to your pediatrician. My son is 3 and everyone kept saying oh its the age its the age. He was diagnosed yesterday with ASD like I knew all along. -hugs- three is a rough age. 5 kids worth of experience talking here. You got this momma. If you think play therapy is whats best go for it. There are free in home therapy options in almost every state abd place so talk to your ped.
My 3.5 year old son isn’t toilet trained and he is also extremely ‘naughty’ to the extent that people always question my parenting.
But he is 3.5 and he has a younger sister who takes over my whole day with her stubborn clingy behaviour and he has another brother on the way and I’ve been sick the whole pregnancy so a lot has changed in his life.
This is all overwhelming for a child so maybe look at what has changed in his life that’s making him deal with things these ways. Just because we don’t understand why they are upset/overwhelmed doesn’t invalidate their feelings.
And HITTING WON’T SOLVE ANYTHINF
I am a parent of a 15 and 17 year old. If I look back I wish I would have been more stern, I should have taken both them over my knee when my grandmother told me too.
My 3 year old did the accident thing too. He would say “thats what you get for (whatever he was mad about)”. We just explained to him that he was the one with the wet pants now, not me. Then a few minutes of time out to calm down, wearing the wet pants. After a while he stopped doing it. He always gives me a hard time about eating meals, so I started just letting him graze on healthy “snacks” all day instead. As for the defiance and button pushing, he still does it. I think it comes with that age. A few minutes of time out to calm down works for us in the short term, but he doesn’t seem to be learning his lesson because he keeps doing it. Good luck! Toddlers are sooo exhausting.
My son is nearly 3 and he’s like satan😂 but other times he’s like an angel I just learnt to breathe through his bad days and just remember he’s still only small he doesn’t fully understand what is right and wrong we have off days so do children we need to just be more understanding. I’m not saying let him get away with it by all means explain to him that what he is doing is bad and that he needs to stop be firm about it get to his level and sit him down. My boys still in nappy’s otherwise he’d just pee everywhere but when he wants to go toilet he just goes by himself.
I bought a behavior chart and it worked great. Shes five now and when she starts acting up i tell her the chart is coming back out if she doesnt act her age. Positive reinforcement works better than negative. Rather than “dont touch that” you can say “these are the things you can touch”. Give options. Also usually when my daughters schedule is off, so is her mood. Remember that we need to be consistent because children are so inconsistent and impulsive. If all else fails, i have no problem with a butt tap😉 but if you use it too much its gonna lose its shock lol
Consistency is key! Set up discipline and follows threw with what you say. They say terrible 2’s but no one warms you about terrorists 3’s lol.
Binge a few episodes of Super Nanny on YouTube. Seriously.
2 Likes
It gets better, promise. Mine was IMPOSSIBLE as a 3 year old. Then at 4 and a half, it was like a switch flipped.
Sometimes kids will do anything for attention, regardless if its good attention or bad. They just want to feel something and they don’t always know what or how to express it, they need our help. Give him some undivided attention every day building up your relationship, respect and trust. Give him little chores, kids that age usually love them! When he gets mad/sad say to him I know you’re upset because _____. The validation of you saying what he’s thinking will help him feel understood, not alone in his thoughts and your offered solution will help him deal in the future. Sounds kind of silly but verbal validation works miracles, even with adults lol! And of course be consistent every.single.time with punishment whether it’s taking something away or a 3 minute timeout, eventually it will work. Please don’t take the physical punishment advice. There really are better solutions, ones that don’t make you look like a monster who can’t control their temper. He’s learning how to act by watching you. There’s going to be a point when you can’t hit your child to “teach him a lesson” so you might as well figure out how now and 3 year olds can most definitely reason. It’s not a good feeling afterwards, for you mentally and him both physically and mentally. Besides that it forces your child into fearing you. You want to help him in developing the skills and habits to think first before making a bad choice. And you want him to understand and fear the repercussions, not you! Look for little good behaviors and make a big deal out of it, maybe a reward here and there. All the little stuff that plays big roles that you probably know…consistent sleep schedule, limit screen time and sugar! Best wishes, this too shall pass! Pray pray pray!
Take it lightly . I try not to get mad or make a scene when it comes to him making a mess because when I do it’s like ur telling them oh she doesn’t like it let me keep doing it . But at times they just want us to give them a little more attention. Give him a hug some kisses and believe me when I tell u that it works. But obviously correct him in his wrongs but just don’t be too harsh on him.
Horrible 2s is a lieeeeeee… Terrrrrible 3s is more like it 100%
Goooooood lord my daughter knows how to push limits! Lol stay strong and just breathe!!! This tooo shall pass
1 Like
My 3 yr old is a total animal shes fiesty stubborn funny but most of all loveable they are finding themselves the more you scream and shout the less they will take notice they will settle down its confusing fir them as we let them do just what they want as awww that’s so funny and cute but when they hit 3 its dont do that you mustn’t do this they dont know if they coming or going give them time to adjust