Another day where I feel defeated with my three years old. He’s so defiant and loves pushing my buttons. He even started having accidents on purpose now and thinks it’s funny. Instead of eating his dinner, he is feeding his little brother HIS dinner. I’m just so worn out. I’m going to look into play therapy next week. Not that I can really afford it. I just dont know what to do anymore.
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It’s a phase. My 3 yr old is in the same phase, he may need some more physical activity, with more of a structured routine. I had to start giving her more activity to help calm her down, rather it’s a walk, or an indoor play place
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You’re not alone. Mine is the same way. Took him to the park yesterday and he pushed another kid down on purpose. He hits and throws things and he does things he knows will drive me crazy. He throws things down on the floor after I just finished cleaning it. Spills things on purpose and tells me to shut up on a daily basis. I know some of it is probably my fault but its still so hard. I have to hide in the bathroom and cry some days. I yell more than I should and feel so guilty about it but my nerves are completely shot at the end of the day.
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A lot of the times it’s attention seeking behaviour, they’ll take the attention whether it’s positive or negative attention.
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My 3 yr old boy is like that with food. They’ll eat when their hungry we don’t force feed him. We do the carnation good starts just for some nutrients. Honestly for bad behavior its usually for attention. Try focusing on rewarding his GOOD behavior with treats he likes or a cheap toy from dollar tree or spend a few minutes just praising his good behavior. If that doesn’t help do that and discipline bad behavior by taking things away. When my daughter was 6 all she had in her room was her bed, books and a desk for almost an entire year.
Ignore the bad behaviors and praise good behaviors. This worked with my daughter.
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Try Conscious Discipline, it’s a total game changer! (I have worked with pre-k kids for 20 years) 
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We were told a visual schedule. Use first _ then _ sentences. Example: first eat then play. Use positive reinforcement like crazy. Strict routines. And also during some meltdowns we use pictures. So if the meltdown is because they want to play outside but I need to go to the store we will draw a shoe, the store, and then outside and talk them through it. First we put on our shoes, then we go to the store, then we get to play outside. Also actives like crawling, jumping, and rough housing it supposed to help calm their behavior.
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You are not alone apparently there are quite a lot of us. My son is just terrible, it takes both of us to keep up with him. Public events are dreaded by us but we can’t punish everyone else so we go and regret it every time. Church is so hard. We discipline, but with no result. We are also very good at routine but it just keeps getting us down. We can’t even let him sleep by himself because he will actually get out of the house. I know there will be a day when he doesn’t do any of his antics but it does take toll. Hang in there, I pray a lot and cry and stay exhausted but we make it each day.
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It’s totally normal! Believe it or not, four was worth than three for me lol! With all of my kids!
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Look for PCIT, parent child interactive therapy! Been there done that, it won’t get better, he won’t grow out of it, get control of this situation while you can!!! Good luck!
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Highly recommend the book “How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen” and also Janet Lansbury’s podcast 
He’s 3… Lol What are you expecting?
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I don’t see any “ bad “ behavior for a little person who’s only been on this earth for three years lol what does “pushing your buttons even mean? “ you sound like YOU the therapy and some patience while you’re at it
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I too have a 3 year old and started feeling the same way. But step back and realize I need to teach him that certain things are in fact not a game. When it his or someone else’s safety or comfort it’s not acceptable. He gets rambunctious and wild that is ok. Testing the waters and seeing what he can do is great. I will make sure he gets his wild time. Outside racing, inside painting or playing with monster trucks in shaving cream. Anything that he wants to explore and indulge in safely. This is such a big world and they want to explore all so quickly. Just patience and fun. You can do it. 
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With little ones, no matter the age, you set boundaries and stick to them. Breakfast time, won’t eat? Don’t give them anything till lunch, they learn about making choices, it is a life lesson. They throw a fit in the store? Pick them up and leave, don’t give in. They rebel with spilling drinks, dropping or throwing food? Take them by the hand and make them clean it up. If they have a pretty good week, reward them, not for every little thing they do, the world isn’t like that and you are slowly getting them ready for the world…
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I am a 3s teacher… its part of being a 3 year old. They are far worse than 2s. They are testing the boundaries and trying to figure out what/why the rules are. 3-4 is the biggest jump you’ll see for awhile. Stay at it. Make sure they get plenty of exercise and try to get them working on things that use their brains. Super important to be consistent. You’ve got this mama. The things they accomplish this year are incredible and you’ve got a front row seat!
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Consistency phase they are seeing what discipline you stay consistent with. Figuring out what they can get away with and when their best chances are. Most important thing to do is stay consistent with what you do and don’t allow! It’s a tough one we all struggle in this phase but it is the phase that’s sets their foundation on their good and bad behavior.
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When my daughter was 3 she had some major anger issues (for a 3 year old), would constantly do things she knew better than to do. Come to find out she was full of anger and frustration because she couldn’t see well. This is when we realized she was legally blind in her right eye and the left wasn’t much better. Once we got her in glasses where she could see, it was like she was a completely different child. Not saying your situation is the same, just what we went through
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Mom said nothing about her way with this child which is obviously the driving factor
Consistent disaplem if not they will be out of control
Welcome to the toddler years! Lol It doesn’t last forever, I promise!
It very much sounds like he’s trying to get your attention.
Take a day and spend it with just him. Talk to him. Play with him. And observe how he responds to different things.
Also, it’s okay if he doesn’t eat his dinner. He’ll eat when he’s hungry.
this is what happens when you are told not to discipline your kids. I raised 6
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Therapy thats when my daughter started and you should be able to get it free or reduced for your child
Grab the book 1-2-3 magic!!!
Talk to your doctor he/she should be able to give you resources that are free
My 3 year old pushes buttons and gets defiant out of jealousy when her younger sister gets more attention. It’s sometimes difficult to manage the two kids and feeling defeated is very easy and exhausting. I found getting her to help with her sister or help me do what I do, wash dishes, vacuum, bake, laundry etc… When I have help does help the situation. I’m fortunate enough to have the help (grandmas) as I know not everybody does. Its tough being little and not having the communication skills needed to tell you what he needs. Maybe it’s the same reason, maybe not. Hopefully you find what he’s trying to tell you sooner then later. Good luck mama!
Problem child bring to nuns house
Exactly y i dont have kids. They just r not worth the stress they cause
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My advice- make time to spend with this child one on one every day. 20 minutes where the child leads the play. Building the relationship will help the child with defiant behavior.
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Girl what? Lol
Therapy for a 3 year old acting like a 3 year.old?
That’s ridiculous.
You need to.learn new ways to relax and not overstress yourself over his behavior instead of focusing on calling him bad.
Hes 3
3 year.old boys misbehave sometimes and get hyper and do things they think are funny thay will.make you mad.
Part of being a mom is learning to cope with the anxiety if it.
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It kind of sounds like he’s testing boundaries and maybe looking for a bit of control tbh. Does he get to choose his clothes? (Maybe out of 1-3 options?) Or let him help with dinner, doing small things like throwing something away? Maybe instead of focusing on the behaviour you can try to redirect and try to give more independence (of course within reason)
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My experience was that 3 was way worse than 2. You can’t take them out in public because they just can’t behave. They get into everything and just don’t care, especially boys. Hang in there mom it does get better.
I never spanked my kids and don’t believe in it but there are other punishments and rewards you can do with him.
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How is his sleep schedule? My kiddo was pushing me to my last moment of sanity. I started giving him more naps and stopped yelling. It has helped so much!
My advice for the bathroom “accidents” would be, remain calm and unaffected… direct him on how to strip down his sheets or clothes and start his own laundry for “these types of messes.” It takes the control away… but damn is it hard to stay calm… 
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Break out that can of whoopass.
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A good ole fashioned ass beating will help. Y’all be scared to discipline your kids for some reason
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Feeling jealous is ky first thought. Make dates with just him
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Punishing him works too
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Its very important to not send the message to him that he is bad. Even though he is testing you, his self esteem will suffer and he will believe he is bad and behave accordingly. Later in life he will choose a bad crowd and shit will get worse. Just love him harder and be careful of the message.
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He’s 3 I think all kids go through this I have a five year old and he does the same stuff try to relax I don’t think he needs therapy just keep correcting his behaviors try a sticker chart for good behavior my son loves it he has to get 5 stickers and than he gets a surprise day/reward also positive reinforcement has done wonders with my little one
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You can’t really expect a 3 yo to sit through dinner, that happens more around the age of 5.
Accidents… if you cut all of his sugar out of his diet and then reward with something like gummy bears every time he does go then it should motivate him to do it.
Other behavior you may try to do timeouts for 3 minutes in a corner
Good ol fashion ass whooping!
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Spanking and age appropriate time outs work wonders…You have to stay with it to make it work with children though (doesn’t work if you just do it once)…
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Welcome to having a 3 yr old 
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My daughter is 3 and we’re going through it bad with her. We just say she’s a three threenager and reprimand her and explain why her behavior wasn’t appropriate.
Why are so many people suggesting to beat your child FOR BEING THEIR AGE. I’m sorry but anyone commenting to abuse your kid because they’re 3 and they’re learning are just dumb 
smh y’all are fucked
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Sounds very normal and yes momming is so hard! I would suggest you finding a way to relive stress baby free for a short period of time each day if you can. It’s the age and just stay firm and to your word. If you do time out etc and stay true to what you say in time it will be so much easier! Reading up on mommy advice books etc always helps too
Ass 
whooping deluxe
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Keep him in his wet clothes he will get uncomfortable and not want to do it again. Obvs not for a super long time.
Spend some one on one with him and let him have some responsibility. Let him pick out his own clothes, make him make his bed or clean his room.
Or spanking.
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Hes 3. Hes gonna be a turd once in a while.
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Yes because abusing your child is the way🙄 violence never solved anything. A child doesn’t need to be smacked they need to be understood it takes patience and alot of it and calmness.
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Are people really recommending violence towards a 3 year old? Wow!
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Welcome to having a 3 year old.
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Sounds like he is wanting and needing more positive and engaging type of attention.
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I highly recommend family therapy. Just the two of you if you can. My oldest daughter was also a very misbehaved child to the point where she hurts others and just makes situations downright dangerous. She has grown so much and she has come an incredibly long way thanks to therapy, her school, and just being the best parent I can be. Also, we reached out to her pediatrician and got a referral to a behavioral health clinic that helps with this kind of thing as well! Huge support groups of other parents going through the same thing and tons of classes and information
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Play therapy will be good to get the basics to help him through this. Tell the therapist about your financial situation and they can start right away with a home plan. Please do not spank or demean him even if he appears to be doing this on purpose. There is something behind this behavior and when you use the tools the therapists give you, you will find out what is causing it.
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Ignore his bad behaviour and celebrate when hes being good- he’ll learn how to behave, hes just being 3.
I used to step over my daughter in the supermarket when she threw herself on the ground when I wouldn’t buy her sweets, and completely ignore her, if your not giving him attention when hes playing up - he’ll get bored doing it.
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I can’t believe how many people are saying to woop his ass or spank or beat him. HE IS THREE YEARS OLD. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
DO NOT HURT YOUR BABY, children doing things for attention are doing things for attention give him that in a kind and pro-active way. Love that little boy till your heart hurts. Yeah your burnt out. I have three. And its tough. But keep you head up and stay strong. Your the mama♡
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You’re in for a wild ride! Therapy is a must. Prob won’t help much though 
Watch Super Nanny episodes, you will learn some new techniques.
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Try reading the book Rest, Play, Grow by Deborah Macnamara. Life changing book and I think it could provide insight into your kiddo’s behavior and how to help your relationship with him.
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He is a baby he is pushing the limits to see what will happen if he does it’s totally normal try not to yell or hit try to explain things to him he is old enough for you to explain what he is doing wrong but watch how you word it never say “you should of eaten you dinner” use the word could so say to him “you could of eaten your dinner and you wouldn’t be in time out” that way he will see his choices to not eat his food got him into time out and something I’ve learnt is don’t force kids to eat they will eat when they are hungry so just place him in time out or off to bed then serve the same thing for breakfast he will learn to eat his dinner but he is still so little be Patient with him kids aren’t meant to sit down and listen or do what they are told all the time they are little people learning new things every single day
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I guess some people are really not meant to be parents what the actual heck are u serious?
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Stay strong.
Using phrases like, “That was not a good choice. These are ‘child’s name’ choices.”
Timeout equal to the age. Eye to eye addressing why the time out happened after it is complete. Commitment from the child for the behavior to stop or another round of timeout. Loss of favorite toys until behavior improves. Reward system for successful potty times.
Stay firm. Reinforce. Self care and time outs for you to regroup.
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Omg noo please don’t abuse your child ever child goes through this
With my own child, if I keep my emotions in check, of course easier said than done, it helps. If I don’t get worked up then she seems less reactive. But there are definitely days where I have to scream my head off, like scary loud thunder voice. I really try not to spank for personal reasons. Overall, 3 yr olds suck sometimes.
Therapy is probably a great idea. You could also go to a doctor and get some opinions. But as far as things to try in the meantime be as consistent as possible with consequences. Make him clean up his “accidents”. If he feeds his brother put him in time out. You could also try making dinner more fun. Let him help cook. Let him learn to serve his food and pour his drinks. Like Montessori type stuff. If he is treated like a big kid he might act more like a big kid. Or you could try something like, a dinner time game. Let him help put food in siblings bowl not in their mouth. And let him help with other things. Get him involved. Positive teaching rather than acting in frustration l.
Talk to his doctor about adhd and oppositional defiant disorders. Might be worth looking into
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I have a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old. I’ve had a VERY difficult 5 years to say the least. But I try to ensure I spend time with them both but also separately too.
Mine get jealous of one another and I feel they thrive on having that one on one time.
I also did “Strongest families” a 13 week program over the phone to help deal with certain behaviours. “Noticing the good” was one that he stuck with us. Try to notice the good more than pointing out the bad. Kids thrive on getting noticed and we are often noticing them being “not good” (for lack of a better word ) all the time. Also I’ve found after 5 years and still counting that being very firm but fair will help them learn who’s boss. Consistency is key in everything we do! The very moment you ease off on time outs or start giving in, they will pick up on that faster then you can blink! Stay firm and stay consistent, choose your battles.
Also, I’m 5 years in and almost in the mental 
… Terrible twos sucked, trying threes sucked even harder, fucking fours were torturous and the now the Fives are no better… so say a prayer & stock up on wine and hold on tight because we’re in it for the long haul mama! 
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3 is a notoriously rough age. Its not abnormal although frustrating as all get out. Hes a “threenager”. He doesn’t need therapy; he needs positive reimforcememt and for his mom to hold onto the better days that are ahead.
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What state are you in? In FL they have FDLRS they may be able to help get him into pre school if he has behavior issues or is delayed in any way. I’m sure where ever you are they have something similar or some sort of program to help with the cost of play therapy. Good luck mama my son is 3 and is CRAZZYYY lol so I get it sending positive vibes and loads of patients your way!
My child went through the same thing g at 3
I implemented very strict time outside. At first they lasted 5-6 hours at a time. Now at 4 she loves to push my buttons like any child, but she understands consequences and thinks before she acts (well the best she can for a 4 year old) and I dont really have much issues with her like I was. Keep in mind she does have a split household too and when she is over at her fathers he uses the electric babysitter 247 and she doesn’t have chores or much discipline at all. A lot of her issues waa/ due to split house issues.
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I’m a Registered Behavior Therapist. I highly recommend you seek out professional help because every child is different, and please don’t “whoop that ass” because it’s a lazy tactic and only works short term. Also, shows like Super Nanny are helpful to learn new tactics for free. Best of luck! Stay strong, and follow through.
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Reward system for good behavior helps encourage him to act better! And try seating him across from his brother so he can’t reach his food over, maybe give him a sticker or something apart of the reward system every time he finishes his dinner on his own and every time he goes a day without having an accident. Maybe you could make some thing like a sticker chart, And once he reaches a certain amount of stickers he can get a toy or something and every time he has good behavior or finishes his food or doesn’t have an accident he can put a sticker on the chart. And if he decides that he wants to act out rather than earn a sticker he can always go to his room and sit there till he’s ready to eat or go to time out every time he wants to catch a attitude and push your buttons
Please don’t consider medicating your child at this stage. 3 can be a horrible age. But medication can change his brain chemistry for life. How is his diet?
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Three year old’s are harder than two year old’s. Give him a routine and stick to it. If he needs an appropriate time out, give it to him. Be consistent, do the same thing each and every time. Learn to ignore “accidents” and things meant to push your buttons. Feed your other child separately. Give more attention for appropriate behavior. No TV or toys in his room. It is meant for sleeping and possibly short time outs. No electronics for his age group. Cut down on TV time. Get books by John Rosemund. He is amazing.
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He is three baby. They are all assholes! They are learning about their emotions. Help them learn to label their emotions and love them through it! That’s all you can do. Oh and drink. Lots and lots of drinks for mama!!!
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My son will be 3 in a couple months and y’all got me scared as hell 
He’s already borderline terror lol
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Whoop him on the butt!! It’s going to teach respect and to fear getting his butt whipped again. Spare the whipping spoil the child.
People are to soft on kids that’s what’s wrong with them, I know because I tried the whole nice mom thing it doesn’t work, good luck.
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Instead of paying for play therapy, pay for a behavioral therapist who will work closely with both you and your son, so they can teach you how to change a few things to change his behavior. Good luck.
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It’s about how you are behaving also. It’s not all about them. If it’s really bad, you need to seek help from a therapist
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Terrible 2s, awful 3s… be consistent, communicate about his behavior and discipline. Becoming independent & expressive.
I literally JUST has this conversation with my six year old about her little brother. She was like a rebellious, clever, tiny monster at three. I didn’t think I would survive her. But some of those three year old moments were, and are, my favorite. Still, I’m counting down the months until his 4th birthday 
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Threenager. That’s normal. Mine turned 4 this year and broke her arm.
Schedule and rewards chart.
Wtf is wrong with you and some of these “parents”. Please don’t have anymore kids. HE IS FING THREE YEARS OLD!!!
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Literally in the same boat with my two year old… he throws himself on the floor and screams bloody murder 
7 Simple Steps to Dealing with Two Year Old’s Temper Tantrums
Hope these helps us both!
He’s just seeing what he can get away with mama … Just stay strong and consistent … Hell learn … You got this … I know ur tired … But u got this
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Same. My 4 year old does the most🤦 she will scream if you tell her no. She also wets herself and changes clothes even tho she has been potty trained for over a year. She is rough when she plays she has punched her siblings and pulled their hair. And bitten in the past. She is getting better tho. I show her more attention and reward her for good behavior. And praise her when she doesn’t wet the bed. She is slowly getting out of some of this negativity.
Nicholas Scott Crane
1st… He’s 3. 3 year olds have an attention span of around 3 minutes. You can’t expect much more than that.
2nd… the bathroom accident are also to be expected because he is 3. Your reaction has a lot to do with his reaction.
3rd… regression happens to the best of children when a younger sibling is involved.
I’m not exactly sure what you expect the results to be. If he was 5 or 6 and doing these things then maybe seek advice but he’s 3.
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Set firm rules and boundaries. When he breaks those rules, time out…corner etc. My youngest is also this way. She is 8 now and still a daily struggle. The being firm in rules and structure has helped more than anything else.
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SPANKING YOUR CHILD IS NOT ABUSE. IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE BRUISES, BREAK BONES, OR JUST BLATANTLY KILL YOUR CHILD IT IS NOT ABUSE!!! Ask ANY DHS worker!!
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Same here. My 3 year old is driving me insane. I a full time night shift health care worker and I have to admit I need help. I just found this fantastic lady who will help with potty training and teaching new things 5 hours a day a few days out of the week. Not too pricey thank god. $80 a week.
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Stop trying to be friends to your children!
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My son is a month away from three and I have been rewarding him with stickers for pooping on the potty he calls them his poop stickers he loves doing things on his own too. Finding a good reward system while giving independence is helpful. Having a clear concise schedule is good too. My son knows when it’s bed time and knows our bed time schedule and knows when breakfast and dinner is and I try to include him in things to give him more independence. I tried the whole spanking thing and that just didn’t compute with him. I dont think toddlers are really ready to take that type of punishment positively as they don’t fully grasp right from wrong yet. When my son misses me when he’s with his dad I can tell he doesn’t understand the feeling because he just gets sad and says “my finger hurts” “I need a bandaid” because he’s sad but doesn’t understand it yet. We have to remember that they’re still babies and they aren’t there yet with emotions. Try to stay calm and have patience with him. I know anger is one of the last emotions they really start to understand so I’m sure he’s just feeling his way through it trying to communicate what he needs.
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Children will always seek attention when needed… Negative or positive isn’t relevant to children. Ask YOURSELF why your child is acting the way they are 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷
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Toddlers have emotions bigger then ours n can’t control them just like us when we lose control but please don’t do no therapy or meds or pychs man they won’t understand the fact that you think there’s something wrong w them and will resent it when they are older especially if it all fucks them up for life my mom put me on Addy’s when I was 7 or 8 and it was horrible for years and I ended up addicted to em never finished school it never helped me in school either I was a zombie just keep trying and if you lose your cool or match their attitude so be it just apologize and explain why you lost your cool ya know or walk away
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