He is very aggressive towards his little sister to the point where he scratched her and drew blood today. I have tried to explain that hitting is wrong, we made a soft, safe place for him to calm down, we’ve tried separating the kids during playtime, but it never seems to work. I guess I am just frustrated as this behavior has come from nowhere. I know he does not like it when people are in his space, and I do my best to make sure his sister isn’t up in his face. He has sometimes hit his father and me when we tell him NO but never escalates into anything more. He is gentle with the cats and doesn’t hurt them. It seems the anger and hurting is always towards his sister. Just looking for advice as my next step will be to consult a DR for help regarding mental health and aggression.
He needs it done back to him… eye for an eye. Sorry to sound harsh but if you don’t nip it now you’ll have a bully on your hands
I think he needs an evaluation for autism spectrum disorder. Early intervention is key. You can’t discipline or hit the autism out of a kid. So anyone who gives that advise please ignore and get that kid the right treatment.
He is 3. That is what 3 year olds do. Teaching him how to behave is what you need to do. This is not an unusual behavior for a 3 year old
Think it probably just jealousy and wanting his own way which is normal for his age x
I agree natalie my grandson was like that and your so right autism kids dont get it i hope the parents get him checked and that hes not just being naughty
Little swat on the butt to hurt nothing more than his pride
Sounds like a three year old. Discipline time
I have 5 kids. Oldest is 4 and youngest is 5 months. None of my kids behave like this… of course my 2 year old hits whatever is closest to him when angry but doesn’t target a specific person or thing. I’d take him out for a mommy and me or daddy and me day without the sister. If that doesn’t work then maybe talk to the dr.
A swat on the bottom won’t hurt him but it will let him understand what he’s doing is wrong, sometimes words don’t get through and if you don’t gently show him what’ll happen when he acts like that another kid will do it for you except they won’t hold back
My son has sensory processing disorder and reacted/reacts this way with his little sister. When we started getting help for his sensory issues the extreme aggression has basically stopped. We still have our days but overall a lot better. He will even kiss her boo boos now. I mean it took a year to get him to but hey it’s progress. Also his dr recommend showering the injured child with attention first then sending him to time out (so he has to watch her get the attention he wanted) and then to come out of timeout he has to apologize
The 3’s but you have to make the rules for him. Mine is an only child so he just tested me. But I am from a family of 5 and we had to nip it right away.
He may need some one on one time with you. Let him know that you are still there for him. Also keep reminding him of the things we do not do. Three year olds tend to test a lot of boundaries and see what they can get away with. Talking to the doctor won’t hurt.
I would spank his tail.
What is she doing to provoke it? Is he just randomly going up to her and bothering her? Or is she bothering him and that’s his reaction? How old is she? Kids hit because they can’t talk or don’t know the right words to use yet. Model proper behavior. If she takes a toy from him and he hits, tell him “we use our words, not our hands” and then model for him saying “can I have that back please”. When she gives it back remind her that we don’t take toys.
Beat the crap out of that butt
Some children respond better to talking, others to time out and others to a spanking. Absolutely speak to your doctor. Consistent discipline for the wrong behavior is a must. Telling him no every time he starts to get aggressive and doing time out might work. He may require more time each timeout. Good luck!
3 is the independent big kid stage. Give him some small bit of responsibility for her and then praise him for being a good big brother. Have him grab you a diaper when you have to change her, or have him make silly faces at her to make her smile, and then let him know that she likes him. Help guide their relationship 
Take him to the doctor now, rule out autism or any other mental health issue. If those are ruled out, put his ass in 3 minute time outs, punish him for violent behavior (not by being violent with him, as that reinforces the bad behavior) if time out doesnt work, take the things he likes away, like screen time, toys, etc. I was a nanny for many years, to many children, and this is not normal behavior for a 3 year old. 1 year old yes. 3 no.
He sounds like a 3 year old? Consistent discipline, rewards when he is gentle. If he doesn’t grow out of it I’d worry, but for now I wouldn’t think too much into it.
You made a safe soft place where he could calm down …that’s not teaching him that hitting is bold it’s teaching him that it’s ok to hit than go to his soft safe place and not have any kind of punishment
My daughter reacts likes this she’s autistic hitting is wrong
That’s exactly what I would do
Play therapy may help
He knows he can get away with it.
Stick him in the corner facing the wall… Only takes a minute here and there. He will learn that’s where he’s going when he does it
How do animals teach there young ?! with a nip or two or maybe a kick to get their attention ! All critters do
My 3 year old is in this phase but it’s his big sister. Whenever he starts being aggressive I separate them immediately, place him in a separate “time out” spot, like a room. Hes too young to really understand time out yet but he does understand that he cant do what he did. After I separate them I check on my daughter, set her up either in her room to play or our living room, and whichever kid isnt in whatever room goes to the empty one. I dont allow them to play together again until about 30 minutes later. Rinse and repeat as needed. It went from being almost everyday to maybe twice a week. Remember he is two so he needs clear, firm direction. Firm NO, and reiterate that “we dont insert aggressive behavior here”. Oh, we also apologize and hug to make up.
My friend had that issue with her son he did it till the age of 5 because she has enough and slaped him across the face for hurting his little sister. Asian family. He’s a good little boy now. When I was little naughty children got the slipper or remote.
He needs more love
Sincerely one on one time with you
Unless it’s a health related disorder (autism etc) it is a learned behaviour.
It doesn’t necessarily come from mom and dad, but maybe daycare where he sees other kids doing it, or he sees aunts and uncles spanking their kids, cousins hitting each other. He’s becoming a product of his environment
Don’t send him to a “safe place”, send him to a time out. He needs to know the difference. If you send him to a safe place, he’s getting no consequences for his actions and isn’t really learning right from wrong. Also, my son is 3 and he’s in speech/play therapy. He wasn’t always able to say how he felt so he would pitch a fit. Now he’s able to express how he feels in a much better way. Just my opinion though from personal experience.
Has he started in day-care where he might see this behavior. What about time outs
Time out step method
I would suggest you have a heart to heart with him ask why he feels this way about his sister and possibly have them bond over this create a safety net with you him and her and monitor them but encourage him to trust her and she trust him it might be jealousy or insecurity that is driving him to do these things but know that it can be fixed anything that happens in your house is fuxabl with a little bit of communication.
It sounds like he has some jealousy towards her. Have you tried taking some time to do things 1 on 1 with him? If he’s feeling jealous and not getting any 1 on 1 time, I’ve seen that lead to anger in small children. Praying that you find something that works for you all.
Removal and timeout. Use a firm voice and short phrases. “We do not hit. It hurts. Mommy is sad you hit her. Now you stay here for 3 minutes for hitting Mommy (or sister, or whatever).” Use a visual timer (with lights) so he knows when his time is almost up (before he is in trouble, you’ll explain how it works). You can hold him in timeout if you absolutely must, facing away from you with NO interaction (only to keep him in timeout), but it is not snuggle time. Better to hold the door shut while he is in his room, or keep him in a packnplay or gated space if he can’t climb out. Speak with him again only after time is up. “Mommy is sad that you hit. You need to tell Mommy you’re sorry. What can we do next time instead of hit, when we are upset? Can we use words to say we are angry? Can you practice telling Mommy how you feel when you want to hit? What were you feeling? Angry? Can you say ‘Mommy I’m so mad right now!’ Can you run to your soft space and hit the pillow instead?” Practice makes perfect. Consistency and follow through, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. are a must. Or none of this works. Doesn’t matter where you are or what time it is or how tired that child is. The consequences must be firm and consistent. Leave the cart at the store and do timeout in the car. Do it at nana’s house. Do it at his own birthday party. If you don’t he’ll just keep trying to play you. And he won’t get it. When he’s old enough, you stop time out and you take away his stuff and that goes in timeout instead. Good luck.
I was your daughter! I still resent that my parents didnt spank my brothers ass when he was straight up mean to me until I got big enough to fight back.
They talked to him, sat him in the corner, all that stuff. As soon as they were out of the room he went right back to it.
Protect your daughter!
He needs a frikin timeout or to stand in the corner not a “safe place”…dont let him bully your poor daughter or its going to escalate and you will end up with a huge bully on your hands and not just to your daughter but he will do it to other kids as well and thats not fair.
My girls are 17 no. apart I tell the offender this is your sister Love her. If that doesn’t work I say…do that again and see what happens to you! Works. Lol
My older daughter is mean you her little sister when they were younger. When my younger was a year okd, my older being 3, she would be mad at her randomly. my older would pinch, scratch, and bite her younger sister. I am a mom who spanks (judge if you want, I know the limit and how) and now 2 years later, they get a long more then not. they still have bad days where the older hurts her younger sister, and the little one tells us, but doesn’t happen to often. I still spank and they are spreated until they calm down. then they run in circles together…
How old is your youngest? Lots of kids act out when a new sibling comes along, they need extra attention, love, and gentle parenting during those transitional times.
It’s tough sharing parents and maybe u can include him more…bring her bottle, diapers, towels, pacifier etc so he know he is a big brother and not left out
Start spanking for bad behavior and see the difference.
I have to laugh at everyone assuming you don’t discipline. All masters of knowing everything you don’t tell them, apparently.
Honestly, it sounds like jealousy, and a little boy who isn’t sure how to deal with what he’s feeling. He may feel like his baby sister is getting all of your attention. One of my boys did the same thing when his baby brother was born, but he took it out on himself (scratching and biting). When he realized he was still just as loved as always, and figured out the new baby wasn’t replacing him, he calmed down immensely.
It might not be a bad idea to look into finding a child psychologist that specializes in ages 0-6. They can help you find ways to help your son.
Good luck 
Sounds like you need to discipline your child… A child hitting the parents and siblings and a child being upset because the other sibling is in his space, are you effing kidding me lol. if you dont teach them from little, then your gonna have more problems down the road.
U said he sometimes hits his Father and me, when we tell him no. What are the consequences for hitting his parents??
He is only 3 years old. Discipline has to start now.
What are the consequences for hitting mom and dad? If he can get away with it at 3 watch out when he is 13. Better you and dad take positive action now than law enforcement later. As it has been said try all resources at your disposal. Check for red dye in foods/snacks, etc. good luck with a solution
Sounds like a jealous toddler who is having a difficult time adjusting to having a sibling who needs more time from mom & dad. Have you tried spending one on one time with just him? Doing a special day a couple times a month where you just do something just with him? I think you should try that before taking him to a doctor who’s probably going to tell you the same thing🤷🏼♀️. Three is a hard age regardless but getting used to having a little sibling is even harder. Toddlers can barely communicate as it is, they’re pure reaction & emotion. Hang in there. Try giving him some one on one without his sister & be patient with him. He will come around✌🏼
My daughter did this. And she was punished for it too. But it didn’t work. I kept them separated until she quit. At that age it is jealousy and a stage at the same time.
3 is a very tough age… stay consistent with the discipline no matter who he hits with a time out at least if not more. Have you asked him why he does it? Is it jealousy? Maybe he needs to feel heard about something? He should be able to express why at this age…
My brother was like this and he got diagnosed with asbergers. Was in therapy to help him cope with socializing and a little medicine and he became pretty normal, still a little different but the violent acting went away
Sounds like you’ve got a jealous little boy on your hands who doesn’t know how to deal with the feelings he’s having. I mean, he’s only 3…this is all new to him. Yes he needs to be disciplined, how ever you see fit, for hitting and such but I think he needs more one on one time too. Some reassurance from mom and dad will probably go a long way. Also, maybe try letting him help you with taking care of his younger sister…my mom said that helped with me when my little sister was born…apparently I was a jealous big sister for a bit.
When my daughter started to swing at me I told her no mam I’m going to tell Daddy. She ran behind furniture and started to cry. She knows it’s wrong. When Daddy came home from work he picked her up and said Now why you trying to hit mama. We dont hit mama we dont hit other people and she buried her head in his shoulder and cried. That was all it took. She knows better both parents got to back each other up and stay consistent. Always reinforcing good behaviour. She will be 3 end of March.
Before going to an MD , if he goes to preschool , see if there is an agency connected to the school who will do. testing and offer accommodations for managing behavior . It could also be diet. Red dye will cause aggressive behaviors. Better to use all sources available before considering a MH diagnosis.
My kids are all adults now but I have do have grandchildren. Discipline needs to start early. It’s important also to be consistent. It just sounds like he’s jealous and needs more one on one time with each parent.
a soft safe time out spot isn’t working gotta make his punishment for hitting a little more harsh cuz he’s not getting it. any and every single time he hits or hurts someone that u are aware of u have to deal with it it can never go unaddressed even if it doesn’t hurt the sister
It’s time for discipline. He is old enough now to know what he is doing is wrong. It is up to the parents to teach him. Spank him, put him in time out ECT. He needs to know there are repercussions to his actions so he can learn. He needs to know he doesn’t hit his sister and if he does you will spank him/punish him. He’s not a baby anymore. If you don’t nip this behavior in the butt now he will only get worse.
im no expert by any means but i think you should talk to the childs doctor and see about any mental issues that may be going on. i have a friend who is in a similar situation. her child is autistic along with serious behavior issues. her violence only escalated through the years. im not saying that your son has the same thing but better to rule it out.
Instead of some of the woo advice try an evidence based approach. There are some wonderful evidence based groups on Facebook and not this anecdotally minded group.
Check how much of his food he consumes has red 40 in it. My son got super bad mood issues. And I cut out a juices I didn’t realize had red 40 in them. And the behavior decreased drastically
I have evidence. My 4 kids that learned quickly that hurts, don’t do it! Tap his hand and say stop, or don’t, whatever works for you. Just one word, then tell ( don’t ask) him to apologize. Say that’s great when he does and move on like it never happened. If he gets too much attention for misbehavior he’ll do it more.
Has to have consequences! Normal behavior for a 3 year old who hasn’t mastered how to control their anger… Time outs work … I would give him a swat on bttm … But bottom line is there has to be consistant consequences
Your older child needs to know the boundaries . hitting adults and others is never acceptable.was he hitting you or your hubs before the new arrival ? He must not be allowed to hit . i think he is feeling threatened . for since he was born he has been the only petal on the rose . he needs positive reinforcement one on one . hugs mommy loves you . daddy loves you you are so special . set up time that is specific for him only . go to the zoo read together make cookies .good luck
My God I can see this child growing up & screaming at people cause they think differently
It could be jealousy. I don’t really know as my kids are years apart in age. I’ve never dealt with this.
Go to your next step ASAP before it gets worse.
Leave him in a room by himself ask him if he’s ready to play nice after 10_15 minutes by himself
My oldest son does that and he got tested and they found out he has ADHD and he is better now hope that is not the case that he has it but for my oldest it was
Good old ass wooping never hurt me when I was a kid
Soft safe space??? 
Time for the professionals. Don’t wait.
Sounds like jealousy and a serious lack of consequences.
A soft, safe place? You’re coddling his behavior. I’m old school. I’d pop his little behind! I promise you, it’ll get worse! Taking him to a doctor is only going to get him put on medication. My son was like this. We were actually at the doctor getting my other sons checkup when my 3 year old son started pulling his aggressive garbage. My pediatrician told me to start popping him in the butt. I did, and his aggressive behavior stopped almost immediately. Granted, this was almost 30 years ago. But, I know times have changed and everyone is afraid. I never was, and never will be.
Bust his butt no other way
Have you tried busting his ass?
He’s prolly jeolous .
He is JEALOUS and NEEDS your attention.
He might be autistic
He needs a spank. Discipline them now, or the jails and prisons will do it later.
Get in with a dr and maybe a child counselor to as soon as possible. It toke me 5 years to get my aggressive little one help and she just keep escalating. Now shes 8 and we are still trying to get her thru processing anger correctly.
Maybe he could help you take care of her more. If he’s unsure of his place with her there. More patience and love go a long way. Hitting him in return should be a last resort. We give our little 3 year old something to do that the baby cannot do. A big boy can write letters with a marker. Wash a few dishes. There’s always a peaceful way. Words are magical with kids. Use good ones.
All these whoop his ass and where has the discipline gone well mine laughs and i have whooped his ass with his diaper off and he is 3 but at that age they repeat so you are only teaching them violence and not stopping it all kids are different what works for some might not work for all have to trial and error that’s all any of us can do
My 3yr old was like that, very aggressive…
With DRs consultation and numerous visits, she was diagnosed…Non-Verbal Autism…She was acting out in frustration, which was the last thing on my mind…Patience, that’s what my Earth Angel has taught me…She’s now 19yrs old, we have our ways of communicating and she’s also a high school graduate, who will be attending college in the fall…Goodluck❤
It’s probably sibling jealousy because she’s the baby. We’ve dealt with that too. What’s worked the best is making time for just my son and I whether it’s 30 min of one on one time playing while his sister naps or taking just him to go do something fun so he has our full attention. I definitely disagree with spanking/smacking. I think he works be more likely to continue his behavior out of frustration. Also I have to remind myself to focus on praising my son when he does something good and focus less on the negatives. Obviously if he does something mean it needs to be corrected but sometimes kids do things to get a reaction from you also if all they’re wanting is attention.
Cure hitting and violence with smacking their ass?
After I whooped my daughter for the first time she started smacking me all the time afterwards . She even picked the yelling up from me. So an ass whopping I promise doesn’t work it makes things much much worse than they have to be. And doesn’t teach them ANY good from it. My daughter is actually a total mean ass to kids when they play with her toys or sometimes for no reason. I put her in her crib and shut the door for 5 minutes. Eventually she gets tired of being in time out and stops. It’s one of the most frustrating things I deal with with my daughter because NONE of the kids she is around treats her that way unless they are defending themselves.
Sounds like jelousy… i would see a doctor for sure and talk with them about options and new things to try. There are parenting classes for parents with new sibling babies. If all else fails the doctor has been on board and would probably send referrals where they are needed
He may have resentment towards her. It might not be a bad idea to get him to a counselor to talk about his feelings
We do time ins and they have been very effective. My son used to hate them but now whenever he is acting out and melting down, he’ll ask me to go talk
Yes. I am a firm believer in ass whoppin especially if he is harming others. This isn’t the time to coddle him. After that talk to him explain why you did. That his actions have consequences. Sometimes just verbal commands don’t work. Usually one good whoppin sets em straight. He will only continue to act out if there are no consequences for bad behavior.
Yall are weak. And exactly the reason I leave pages like this good laugh for the day tho.
Start working on teaching him that people are allowed to be in his space. He should not be allowed to “rule the roost” and have his parents and sister avoid bothering him. He is going to need to learn that unless he goes into his own space ( a designated room or corner not the entire house) people are allowed to also live their lives.
Also, I don’t know if this is the best advice but my boyfriend’s little brother has this type of personality (he’s six) and he pushed his 1 year old brother away from him. And his mom lost her shit, didn’t hit him or touch him, but yelled. And she NEVER yells. She told him how naughty that was, how he needs to be a good big brother and protect his little brother, and how he is not in charge. Hasn’t done it again.
Maby try and involve him with everthing u do with little sis. And tell him he is a big brother and baby need alot of attention but u love him same as his sister. It can be jalousy
We don’t want him to hit or hurt his sister but we are going to teach him that by hiting(spanking) him??? Did I miss something?
Unpopular opinion. Pop his hand/ass.
No. I didnt say BEAT YOUR CHILD (for the snowflakes) not even hard enough for a red mark. But itll hurt hus feelings and get his attention.
Absolutely spank his tail.
or spank that bare ass and tell him that there are consequences for being mean.
Seems like maybe a little jealous…what’s the ages ?
Bust his little ass. It’s a consequence. If you hurt someone for no reason you are going to get hurt back. Of course over spanking your childing (never spank for breaking stuff, peeing their pants etc) is completely uncalled for. My daughter gets popped on the butt when she is mean to the kitties after being verbally warned. I dont do it on her bare skin or anything like that but the pap is enough to snap her outta the behavior. Ive only had to do it like 3 times now shes doesnt try to fuck the cats up anymore.
Spanking is banned in over 50 countries. There are much better ways of discipline than hurting your child
Don’t hit him. Your teaching him not to be violent with violence ? He needs teaching and showing that his little sister isn’t a threat.