So I recently just had a baby in July and my 4 year old loves her. i have two kiddos besides the baby. Well recently my 4 year old has been acting up so bad. She is very disrespectful now and she is laughing her father and I when we are trying to discipline her. She thinks its funny I guess idk but I’m honestly ablut to lose my mind she even has started peeing her bed now before she would wake up in the middle of the night to go potty. Tonight she literally took her pants off and peed in her bed she said because she was scared. I have no idea why she would be scared to go potty all of the sudden. She use to be so well mannered and it’s just kinda heartbreaking to see her changing. Her cousins also just moved in they are boys 6 and 9. Idk if she is feeding off of their behavior or just feeling a lack of attention from me. Idk what to do I’ve been feeling so mad at her and I hate it. i guess I’m just trying to vent. But advice would be fhelpful or any information as to why her attitude has changed so drastically.
I’d highly recommend slotting in alone time with her. This can be the hardest thing to do when you have a new baby - and when you are feeling upset or annoyed with your child - but it’s the best remedy.
A new sibling is a massive adjustment for kids just like a new baby is a massive adjustment for parents. I have five - I really feel for you, I have been there so many times. But I think you’ll be surprised what a little special time alone once a week or so can do. Good luck! It will work itself out and they’ll be the best gift you could have given to each other!
She’s trying to get your attention since it’s now divided. Babies need more looking after so she probably feels like she’s losing her parents. Both of you need to spend individual time with her. Spend time with her every day and do something special with her every week. This is a super hard time for all of y’all, but she doesn’t know how to navigate these big emotions. She needs her parents love and understanding rather than discipline.
So many big changes,she’s got big emotions and no where to go with them.Most kids regress at that age with a new baby,don’t stress it.She def needs some extra mommy time and some extra cuddles
Keep a close eye on the other children as well.
Spend as much alone time with her as you can squeeze in. She’s used to being the baby and that all suddenly changed. There wasn’t much time for her to mentally process it. Alot of hugs and kisses is a must. She’ll start handling things better soon🤍
Sounds like normal behavior when there’s a new baby in the house. Carve out some time to spend with her one on one when Dad or someone else is available to care for baby. Do an activity together that she likes doing, take her to the store with you, take her to get her favorite treat, ECT. Focus more on her good behavior than the bad unless it’s detrimental to her safety or others. Reward her with stamps/stickers for good behavior.
She might be upset you’re giving attention if not all, to the baby. Simply ask her what’s going on
She wants your attention. Whether it’s good or bad. Try giving her some one on one time just the Two of you, and implement that every week where she has your full attention
Yeah, call jealousy pretty normal behaviour with a new baby around it sounds like she needs some one on one time she’s trying to get your attention
Girl . Watch those boys around your daughter.
No not only is there is a new baby but also more people in the home…her life has been disrupted. So she needs extra attention right now.
Normal she winders who the replacement is make sure she’s not pushed out get her to help with the baby make a fuss of her and get other people to make a fuss so it’s not all about the baby
Too much change at one time, she feels neglected, your time isn’t her’s anymore
She is jealous , she sees all the attention baby is getting set aside mommy and her time alone without baby
Something is definitely going on. She’s not being left alone with the 9 year old, is she? Kids do things because they are curious. And that would definitely cause her to lash out.
Move the cousins and family out , some times wetting the bed and a change in behaviour could mean something else entirely …
As a mom of 3 and having a similar issue with our oldest child it sounds to me like she’s seeking attention that she thinks she’s no longer getting due to her younger siblings and possibly also by her cousins that just moved in also… So maybe she thinks if she acts like a ‘baby’ she will get the attention back on to her? My Son went through this with both of his younger siblings. Maybe try to take her to do something special every now and then with just her so she feels included too. I know it’s hard sometimes to get one on one time when you have more than one kiddo but that really helped with my oldest. Best of luck to you Mama! 
I would highly recommend making sure the cousins arent the problem. I hate to suggest it but as a teacher, I have seen children sexually abuse other children without families ever knowng until much later. Family finds it hard to believe that a 9 yesr old could do that but they can. I dont know the circumstances but if they moved in, then maybe they are coming from a bad situation. However, you dont want your daughter to pay for it. Sudden bedwetting can be a bad sign, along with lashing out and new fears.
Make sure you and your husband give her more one on one attention. When babies napping or entertained. Also praise and rewards for being a big kid! Allow her to help with baby as much as she’s willing. Recognize when your taking the stress of a new baby and extra people in the house out in her unknowingly… That’s a lot of change and adjustment for a little person.