My daughter is four years old and has been potty trained for nearly two years now. This past week or so, she has had about six potty “accidents.” She has peed on the sofas, in her bed, on the floor, and today she pooped herself while eating breakfast. I’m kind of torn between whether these are accidents or if it could be something I am not seeing (acting out, wanting attention, etc.) She’s never done anything like this before. She has had accidents where I know she was trying to make it and just didn’t, and that’s completely understandable. But lately, it seems as though she doesn’t even try to get up and go. She continues to play with her toys or tablet or whatever it is she’s doing at the time. She has always asked or told us when she needs to go to the bathroom. She will say, “mama, I need to potty,” and I’ll say, “okay! Go ahead and call me when you’re done.” So she knows when she has to go, and she knows how to wipe, for the most part, she’s still learning the correct way. I do follow her almost every time just to be sure she is doing everything as she is supposed to. But what I am having a hard time understanding is, when she pees or poops on herself, she doesn’t say anything. She just sits in it and goes about her day. And today, when I noticed that she pooped herself, I ask her, “what happened?” And she told me, “I pooped my pants.” I asked why she didn’t go to the bathroom, and she doesn’t say anything. ? Also: **I do have a seven-month-old daughter as well, and so far, it hasn’t caused my four-year-old to act out in any way. I stay home with them during the day, and I know they both get equal attention, and they play together as well. **went to urgent care last week to have her checked and she didn’t have any kind of bladder infection or anything of that nature
Talk to her regular pediatrician about it. Her doctor knows her best. It could be a phase. My daughter went through something similar and the doc said it was behavioral and had us and her teachers prompt her every half hour to go, especially when she was preoccupied with something else. It helped a lot.
Threaten her with diapers and loss of fun activities that may be distracting her from getting up to go . Good luck
Is there a father figure in the situation? I only ask because if there was and you’re separated or something like that maybe she isn’t getting the training at her fathers. You didnt mention anything like that so I’m going to assume that’s not the case. Maybe she is just too interested in what she is doing to stop? I never had this problem with my 1st son who is now 5 and going to school. My 2nd is a whole other story… He has autism and doeznt let me know when he needs to go nor does he get that you need to go into the potty or the potty seat we have for him. You can imagine how that is like…
Maybe just start asking every hour or so if she needs to go instead of waiting g for her to tell you. I get she used to but obviously now she isn’t. Keep asking.
Is she getting a little jealous of new one. Seems like she’s maybe in a mode of notice me and I’ll do what I want to.
I would sit a alarm to go off every so often that kind of gets her attention to let her know Hey you need to go try to go to the bathroom
My daughter has done the same thing and her doctor said it’s just her age and a regression. Kind of how some kids sleep regress, there is potty regression. There have been no changes in our home life or her health. Welcome to potty regression. Doesn’t last forever.
My guess would be jealousy.
I don’t have any tips as to how you would get your 4yo to stop having her “accidents” I’m still trying to potty train my 2.5 year old and he goes back and forth between doing really good and not doing anything 
But I will say that the obvious jealousy with him and my 5 month old didn’t start until she was about 4 months so maybe she’s been feeling it and wasn’t sure how to get your attention so she started doing this.
Good luck!!! 
One of my kids saw a spider once in the bathroom and didn’t go back in there for 2 weeks. Talk to her. Might be something silly
Is it a full pee? Possible uti also 
They get so distracted playing they dont wanna take time to go. Ive seen it many times. Maybe ask if she has to go every once in a while.
Is 7mth old more mobile & able to get to her stuff more? When my sons were younger that was when my oldest regressed in small ways until we started making sure he had his own things, space, tie with us, etc.
We should all really read the entire post before offering advice. Almost every comment on here is about something she already covered in the post. She’s a stay at home mom, they get equal attention and she took her to the doctor, not uti.
Make sure she isn’t constipated. That will cause kids to pee their pants and the bed
My best friend is in the same boat. Her 4 year old son is having the same issue. He has been potty trained for almost 3 years. Since he was 1. My friend is seeking medical attention. She spoke with his pediatrician just yesterday. This has been going on now for about 6 months. His pediatrician, checked for diabetes, checked his thyroid, checked for uti, and is scheduling a sonogram. She also recently took him to a psychiatrist because of his majorly acting out in daycare. (Having to get sent home 2-4 times a week) and a bit wild at home but not as bad at all. ( he is the baby or 3 bothers oldest being 9) They immediately are saying adhd. So she is happy her pediatrician is checking alll areas instead of immediately ruling adhd. Could be that. But of course she wants it all checked out before putting him on any type of meds. So I would say take her to the doctor. Have them check everything. His doctor said he could have an extra urethra and that could be causing it.
Have you checked for tethered spine syndrome? Both of my nephews had it even though they say it isn’t hereditary. It’s where the bottom of their spinal cord pulls down and it causes not being able to feel when you have to go to the bathroom and accidents, sometimes numbness or tingling in legs.
Like some have mentioned it could be jealousy of the new sibling. Mayb you could try a reward system, if in a weeks time or a couple days if she doesn’t have an accident, she gets a prize. You have a lil basket of toys ya knw like from 99 cent store, she can pick one.Or mayb fix you & her a special big girl lunch with her favs. GOOD LUCK
If she keeps having accidents take her to the dr. My step son did this when he was 5 and turned out he was diabetic. When the blood sugar is high they pee a lot. We never imagined it was that!
Rule out medical first before taking advice from here to reprimand her. She may not be getting the urge. Get THAT checked out.
Bed wetting can be a sign of having been molested in children… Psychologically speaking. Not saying that’s it but it could be fyi.
I went through this last year with my now 4 year old. I think what trigger it for her was when we moved into my in laws temporarily. She was peeing thebes constantly and having accidents daily. It stopped when we moved into our house. Besides the new baby has there been any other big changes that could have triggered this. Try to use a reward system for her. Good luck to mamma.
We had this problem with my daughter she had a little bit of vaginitis and he dr though she likely had been constipated putting pressure on her bladder as well. He recommended vasaline for her vaginitis and adding extra fluid to avoid constipation. She was still not really wanting to go potty so for the first time in her life I have been bribing her with stickers to go and its helping her get back in the groove again.
Take her to get checked for Type 1 diabetes ASAP. I know 2 people who’s children started doing this (peeing thing not pooping) around that age and come to find out that’s what it was for both of them. Could be a ton of other things - but this should def be ruled out.
My nephew started doing this about 6 months after his little brother was born, it was down to anxiety and feeling pushed out because his brother was getting praise for doing new things for example rolling over and crawling. He also did it sometimes because he was too busy playing xx
She could also be allergic to milk, my daughter did. We with held milk and her accidents stopped
I have a 6 year old grandson and honestly he gets wrapped up in what he’s doing and doesn’t want to quit playing to go…not necessarily medical. Just have her try to go in and go every few hours. It could be that simple, if it’s nothing medical
Every hour or so ask her if she needs to go potty & go with her. Also look up reasons for sudden behavior & bathroom changes in children. Also take her & have her dr do a full work up. Children don’t pee & poop their pants bc they are attention seeking, there is usually a lot more behind it. Be patient & talk to your child if it doesn’t stop take her to see a therapist.
I went through this exact thing with my daughter. Are there any big changes taking place in your lives right now? Like moving, family leaving, starting school, etc. My daughter was 5 when she did it. We did so many tests and it was finally determined she was just doing it to be defiant. It was the one thing she had found that we couldn’t make her do. We ended up telling her that if she wanted to have a big party for her 6th birthday that she needs to go back to being a big girl and using the potty like she’s supposed to and no more accidents. It did take until the week before her birthday (about 3 months) for her to start doing it. When she realized I wasn’t buying anything or planning her party she knew I wasn’t joking. She woke up the next morning and started going on the potty again.
She may just be being lazy. My daughter did that for a couple weeks. I took things away and explained that she cant go to school if she potties on herself. Maybe find an incentive to make her not pee and poop on herself.
I’m sure you have your bases covered but sometimes this is brought on by being touched inappropriately. Not saying this is what it is or happening but please don’t skip over the possibility.i noticed you said you stay with them during the day and not sure if that means she’s going somewhere else during the evenings, weekends, etc. 90% which is a hell of a high number of the victims know the perpetrator. That means family, family friends… it’s a crazy thought but just putting it out there. Speaking from experience. And like I said not saying that’s the reason but giving you a possibility. Since being a victim I pay extra attention to everything.
Potty regression is normal especially if there is a new baby in the house. I would take her to her physician just to rule out any medical issues but if there’s nothing medical wrong with her than start taking things. Like if she has an accident while watching the tablet than take the tablet for the day and explain that she needs to go to the bathroom when she’s supposed to. We did this with my 4 year old and he quickly learned to use the restroom again.
My 5 year old had this issue, we seen a urologist and it turns out he was extremely constipated even though he went every day. The dr said it was constantly pushing on his bladder causing him “not to feel it”
Above everything else they had said its also a sign of sexual abuse if not medically
It may be an emotional issue…or sign of abuse and anxiety caused by such abuse
This sounds alot like my step daughter when she was 4 and for almost 5 years we couldn’t understand why this keep happing trunrs out it was encopresis…
She’s jealous of the baby, even though your trying to give equal time when you have a new little one they still end up getting more because you have to care for their needs. This is attention behavior, when it happens don’t make a big deal out of it and have her do most of the cleaning herself up and hopefully the behavior will pass quickly. Hope that helps
My daughter turned out to have fissures inside her butt.Once they were healed there were no more accidents.
So after medical testing this could be attention seeking behavior. Baby gets changed and has one on one during this time she may be seeking this attention. Maybe if she starts telling you again you can go with her. Or tell her she will go to time out or lose a favorite toy etc. Good luck
It could be jealousy. My oldest did this when our second child was born.
Another, scary thing to consider…could there be any type of sexual abuse going on? Please don’t be a parent/person that says never in my home. Those are classic signs that happen when a child is being abused. Just something to consider.
I am not implying anything and I hope nothing is happening but these are also signs of sexual abuse.
Go take her each time and no tablet if she wets/soils herself,
Tell her its time to go, do wait for her to ask.
I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to punish children over food or accidents. I think tv time and tablet time could be earned in small chunks after each successful trip to the potty, instead of taking it away for having accidents. Positive reinforcement. If it’s already something she can’t control, shaming will damage her trust of you.
My daughter is 4 and a half, and has started doing this. She has been checked and there is nothing wrong with her. Sometimes little kids just test their boundaries, maybe she feels like this is something she has control over so she is just expressing her control. Our pediatrician has assured me this phase will pass
Sometimes they may lose interest because parents stop being ‘excited’ every time they do make it to the potty. Just a thought.
I don’t remember this of course but my mom says she made me clean up my own mess and I never peed my pants again after that. (This was after all the intial potty training and she knew little me was capable and knew better.) Of course, look into other health factors and emotional factors as well - stressful family situations she might be picking up on, jealousy, if she goes to some kind of childcare place or over to relatives regularly - what goes on there - new kids/new teacher, how do they treat her when she says she has to go?
Who cares for her when your out
My little nephew went through this it was just he was into what he was doing and didn’t want to stop playing didn’t want to stop watching TV didn’t want to stop playing didn’t want to stop doing what had his attention at the time
But also sometimes when children stop going to the bathroom and will rather go in their pants or something sometimes not all the time sometimes it’s just there too involved in playing sometimes it is sexual abuse so if I were you I would talk to their pediatrician
ask her if anyone has touched her inappropriately. children sometimes will do this as a way to tell you something is wrong…this like sex abuse
My mom said that when I was little I was jealous that my little brother got to go in a diaper and I had to use the bathroom. She said I had accidents all the time after being potty trained for 2 years as well (I was also 4) my pediatrician said I thought since my brother could go in his pants then I could too. Maybe that’s why?
My daughter is 4 and does wee herself if she is extremely tired, like not staying in bed and going to sleep till 9:30 and not napping the next day
She could have a urinary tract infection or that can be a sign of sexual abuse.
She’s upset about something that she’s not telling you. So I would take her to lunch and have a special day without the baby.
Sometimes they regress it is normal, alot of times kids just get wrapped up in what they’re doing( playing) just keep encouraging her maybe get her a potty watch set the timer to every 30 minutes and send her to the bathroom, it will get better I promise.
It may be the new baby. It just took her 7 months to regress.
While I agree with all of the above,I hate to ask but is she left alone with anyone new? They say some sexually abused children experience this. I pray nothing has happened to her but this would also be something to keep in mind. And who knows it could be someone that’s been there all along. Maybe take take her to the doctor to have her looked over.
Make one on one time with her. Tell her you miss spending time with just her. That you love she is a big girl. Also reevaluate the times she spends with others. Male, female, aldlt or child someone new or someone who has been no her life. Predictors are sneaky and manipulative. They manipulate the child with threats if hurting loved ones, toys and telling them nobody will believe them, beware of secrets.
When you took her in to be checked for the bladder infection you should have asked a medical professional if he/she thought there was a problem not a My Favorite Holiday Website on Facebook! This is NOT Dear Pedestrians you are her mother sit her down and talk with her…SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HER!
My son does this when he has emotional days where he just has a hard time dealing with everything. Thing is it can be triggered by anything. Could just be stressed or anxiety. Could be seeking attention or even feeling a bit down.
Our daughter is going through the same and it was asked how her stools are. Constipation can lead to mussel confusion , which results in accidents. We’ve noticed once her bowels are “better” accidents are less
I would tend to believe she is unconsciously seeking attention. But I am no expert. I would schedule some days just Mommy and me. I would try to talk about being a big girl and not wearing a diaper. Get her some fancy panties.
This has nothing to do with the holiday’s!
Sometimes with the new baby in the house they do regress back to some infantile ways…
she might have a UTI,and also could feel left out with the time u r spending with the baby
See if someone is touching down there…that how my girlfriend said she acted after she was repeatedly raped by her uncle
Check schools, family, boyfriends, everybody