My 5 year old son is mean to me all the time and I have no idea why…I cannot go on like this anymore…he strikes me, calls me names, talks back…nothing I do stops this and I dont know where I went wrong…please someone help…his dad has never been in the picture and its just him and I and my heart is breaking
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Have you considered therapy? As an early childhood professional and mom who dealt with this when my son was younger, it sounds like he is angry, but can’t verbalize why. Remember, you are the person he feels the safest with and that’s why you get the worst of his behavior, because he knows you will still love him. A therapist will be able to help him identify what is making him angry and put words to it. Then move on to appropriate ways to express his feelings. They will also be able to help you set boundaries with him around this behavior.
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I watch supernanny find an episode like your similar situation and follow through
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Therapy first, maybe a chat with your pediatrician also to rule out any physical causes. Does he ever complain of pain? That can trigger unpleasant behavior.
Then work with the therapist on more positive ways of expressing emotions and building resilience/coping skills for both of you. Practice speaking authoritatively without yelling. Envision yourself as the in charge badass you are.
Take advantage of shows like the two Super Nanny ones, parenting podcasts, parenting books/ebooks or DVDs from the library to be better informed and learn parenting hacks that can help.
Build empathy and ask him how he thinks you feel when he behaves a certain way. Ask him if he can figure out what would make you happier. Will he give you a hug and kiss if you ask? Even if it’s insincere, it can form a nice habit.
Next develop house rules (for you too) for behavior, with positive reinforcement for adhering to them & negative consequences for not following. Everyone gets at least one chance a week to mess up if accompanied by an apology. Don’t be afraid of being forceful and taking control—that can actually make him more comforted to know you’re in charge and not him and he’ll be less out of control.
Get more physical exercise and outdoor time. Jump ropes, mini trampoline, dance to music, walks in parks, running up and down the sidewalk, playing catch, offering to walk a neighbor’s dog once in a while, getting to interact with animals like at a petting zoo, visiting neighbor’s pets, visiting a stable to visit the horses, helping at an animal shelter. Definitely get some play dates with other kids/families to help him become better socialized & to learn from them.
Find responsible men to spend time with your son, even if it’s a coach in a Tee ball league or martial arts instructor you have to pay for. But preferably find guys among your friends and family who will just do normal stuff with him like taking him for a haircut, shopping at the hardware or home improvement store, camping, going fishing or to sports events with y’all, having him help build something or learn a task or skill, or whatever.
Scouting once he’s old enough could be a good choice too, as there are usually a lot of responsible dads involved. You go to everything too until you know you can completely trust these guys (& their friends/family/girlfriends) alone with your son.
If he’s in day care, Sunday School or the equivalent, day camps or activities where someone else is in charge, ask how he behaves with them & how they cope with his outbursts and actions.
Hanging tough, following through and being absolutely consistent now will pay off later. Channel some of his energy into vigorous housework: push that vacuum, throw those clothes into the washer! Slam those glass bottles into the recycling trailer, stomp on those plastic bottles & soda cans before tossing into the recycling bin, scrub out that bathtub as hard as he can, dig that hole in the yard to plant something!
Those little workbenches where he can safely pound pegs into holes might be a good toy. I had an inflatable clown I could punch. It would bounce back & hit me in the nose, so not sure if they still make those, but that might be good for getting out his (and your!) frustrations.
Good luck! All parents are just winging it & learning what works and what doesn’t as we stumble along.
I’d consider following some gentle patenting pages and see what you can take away from that. Its important to understand why hes acting this way, not yell, scream, and “discipline” aka hit it out of him. Consistency is key, and checking your emotions is key. Good luck.
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I’m having the same problem with my 4 almost 5 year old. I feel lost because nothing I do is helping, I’ve considered therapy or counseling. I’m afraid he’s gonna grow up to be a bad person if he keeps it up 
Why does everyone always jump to oh he might be adhd autistic ccd odd dyslexia… not all kids have to have some medical condition for behaviors.
Some kids aren’t taught discipline and act like this. They don’t know consequences and know that their parents won’t follow thru.
She needs to give him punishment and consequences before wasting a doctors time to get him tested.
He needs time outs, toys taken away. He’s five years old so five minutes in time out. Find a specific area where you want time out and you give one warning for his behaviors to stop or he goes to time out and if he continues his behaviors put his butt into time out and if he gets out don’t say nothing and keep repeating until he finishes the five minutes in time out and once he does you explain why he was in time out tell him to say sorry and to give you a hug. You cannot keep giving in to his behaviors. Once he sees that you’re consistent with time out some of his behaviors will deescalate.
Sorry to be blunt but sounds like since dad isn’t in the picture that you may have been feeling bad and decided to baby him and letting him get away with his behaviors cause you feel guilty about his dad not being in the picture.
Like I said do the time outs take toys away etc cause once he sees that you’re actually serious and consistent and not a push over anymore than he’ll start changing. Kids are smarter than us adults realize. My 14 year old has admitted he knows what to do and say to trigger a response out of me so he does those things but guess what he gets his ps4 and his tablet plus phone taken away for his behaviors. If my child ever hit me I would be spanking that behind cause hitting isn’t okay whatsoever. The name calling just ignore it seriously cause he’s doing the name calling because he knows for a fact it hurts your feelings and he knows he’ll get an reaction out of you. Toughen up he’s a child you’re an adult. Talking back is normal for kids but you have to learn to ignore and not respond.
Discipline and consistency
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He has no one else to lash out on, I’d get him in some counseling, some activities where he’s around others so he can see their dynamic to appreciate his own…?
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Oh, and if he gets diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, dyslexia or other learning difference, join a support group for parents with similar kids to support you and trade strategies.
See if you have a Boys & Girls Club with soccer and/or basketball teams for kindergartners (physical activity, socialization and potential male role models) or if you can afford an indoor pool or rock climbing membership/classes for him.
As he achieves mastery of any new skill or task, he will build his self esteem, confidence and resilience and be less apt to feel frustrated and lash out at you.
Consider having him tested asap…May have a medical issue going on…Rule out all that first.Theres a reason behind behavior of that sort.
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Spank him and then put him in the corner for a timeout
Sounds to me he is testing limits and finding there is none. You are the one to stop this at 5 years old. Wait til he’s 15 and see how he treats you.
How does his father & other men in your lives treat you? The answer may be there.
I have a feeling part of it is kiddo having some big feelings and lashing out where it safe. That’s you. Def try some therapy to help the situation.
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My cousin is like this and he was diagnosed with autism, adhd, compulsive conduct disorder
He’s 15 now a little bit calm but because he’s on meds
Something called disapline use it
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Try talking to him about his behavior and how it makes you feel. Point out ever bad behavior and how sad he makes you.
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Find your man voice. I’ve noticed that when my son was 5, I could tell him to stop a million times, threaten punishment etc. my husband says stop one time in a certain tone and he stopped. I even have to use that tone so our dog will listen to me 
so yeah just find your man voice.
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Sounds like he is expressing negative emotions because he doesn’t understand them. I’d look into play therapy
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Punishment. They know they can so they will.
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How do you react to his behavior when he does that?
Well you would think he would be seeing this somewhere but if he doesn’t see it anywhere then he has some type of issues then you probley def. Need to get him some kind of help like a therapist or something cause if not it will be worse. Really to young to be lashing out. I wish you the best of luck and he gets better cause it sounds like you are his only care taker good luck
Who else has access to him? What is happening in and to him and you? After you really look at that…ask around to other mothers and especially mothers that are pediatric nurses, who is the best at addressing these type of behaviors…food allergies can cause irritable behavior…keep looking there is a reason…
Find a child behavioral therapist! So helpful! Children can wield so much power! You are the parent!
My Mama would open a can of wopass
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I think some mega big time one on one time. March break is coming up. Take a week off work, and do some one on one. It doesn’t have to be pricey. Swimming, fast food, playground, trampoline park like I door playground, a day spent at home doing crafts and a movie.