My 5-year-old son hates going to school: Advice?

My five-year-old son hates going to school. At first, he loved it. I would jump up and get ready. Now I have to drag him out of bed, and he kicks and screams all the time, saying he doesn’t want to leave his mommy. But honestly, he doesn’t really have anything to do with me when he’s home. He stays to himself most of the time and is mean to me if I try and talk to him. I have already talked to his teacher, and she said that he wasn’t having problems in school. He got kicked off the bus this morning because he was just crying for mommy and standing by the door, refusing to sit down. I am at my wits end. Any advice?


Is he possibly being bullied?

My 6 year old son loved school then what seemed like out of know where he didn’t want to go we talked with him and come to.find out he was getting picked on by a few other kids so we talked about it and what he should do and we worked it out

Sounds like he’s being bullied. Kids that age aren’t really able to articulate these things and the act out in other ways.

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i would go with him for a few days, you can be the teachers helper.

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I agree with the others. This is typical for someone being bullied. Teachers miss the majority of the cases.


I have to kids 6 & 7 I know how it is getting to kids up in the morning and them not wanting to go to school . But I also know the difference from wen they are going threw some stuff like someone is bothering them at school and the other one wen there just overwhelm and need a little break . Maybe he is going threw one of this ?

My son who is seven was going threw a moment like this turns out he had a bully that was pestering him and I found out and took it to the principal and the child was removed from the school so maybe see if it’s something like that?

Bullied. Happened to me. Hated that school

Almost identical situation here. Was bullied. We/he talked to the school counselor and she walked him to class a few times.

You need to keep searching. There is definitely something going on that the teacher May not see. It seems your son is afraid to talk about anything so something is definitely happening.
Hope you figure it out.

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Mine never threw crying fits, or pulled anything like that. But I couldn’t get her up and ready for school. It was a daily struggle to get her to school. All cuz she didnt want to go. Nothing more than that. And now after 2 years, she’s happy to go to school again.
It was a switch that flipped off, and then flipped on again.

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The only time my son was ever like that there was stuff going on he went from a boy who absolutely loved school to a boy who hated it and would play up knowing I would have to pick him up

Check out the teacher

My son doesn’t like the routine and would rather stay home also. I would ask him in a concerned way why he doesn’t want to go, then ask if there is someone in class that is being mean. Also if it doesn’t seem like anything other than not wanting to do the class work or other normal reasons, you can follow up with asking what he does like to do at school, like what’s his favorite part of the day, then you can use that as a reminder that he gets to do fun stuff too. I definitely feel that kindergarten compared to when we were children has become much more like 1 st grade the work load sucks for kids that are only 5 or 6 it’s seems like so much when they should be having fun at that age, I do feel sorry for my son too it’s a lot of pressure

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Go to the school and sit in the class, because something is going on could be in class or on the playground but go as long as it takes. Bullying or something else is happening


My bet is that he is being bullied and is afraid or ashamed or both to tell you or anyone! I have had similar issues with my son and it came down to the fact he was being bullied and wouldn’t tell me.Dont give up you are his protector but I would bet money :moneybag: it’s a bully issue!


They hate the routine,it’s not fun it’s work,get up go to school follow all the endless rules,stay in line,raise your hand,no talking,keep your hands to yourself, straight line please,etc etc, not fun time it’s rules and work,you wouldn’t enjoy it either

It sounds like anxiety. One of my daughters had a very difficult time with separation anxiety in kindergarten as well. We went to a counselor for a short amount of time where she learned some mindfulness techniques and we also did this worry workbook. We wrote/drew on separate sheets of paper so we could do the workbook over and over. Good luck!

It sounds like separation anxiety my youngest son has that and never wanted to go to school either he had to repeat kindergarten. I got him counseling and he takes meds and now he is doing wonderful with school. My oldest son was also like that and he just wasn’t ready for school so I pulled him out and waited till he was six and he’s doing just fine in the 7th grade now.

Take him to a counselor. Play therapy. He needs a safe place to sort out his feelings. He will open up and let someone know what is going on.

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I would call the guidance counselor and ask him/her to talk with your son.

This sounds like fear to me. Something is happening, somewhere and he’s crying out for you to help him.

Be strong mom, tell him hes got a lot of years of school left… also give him something to look forward to after school maybe? Like a special activity just the two of you. Making cookies, a certain show on tv, the park, a craft.

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I would contact school maybe he is being bullied

Go to school with him. Have lunch with him. Be available during the day.

Is he being Bullied by Someone . ???

What time is he going to bed?

Um, I think he needs his mommy.

Like a day for you and him. Do the stuff he wants, let him pick? Idk. But seems like he wants his mommy.


Mine did the same thing for a bit

Drive him to school and drop him off, he doesn’t have a choice and needs to learn that now.


Is there possibly something happening in the classroom that he doesn’t know how to deal with?


Bully? Volunteer. See what’s going on? Something is up


Maybe someone is bullying him? Teachers don’t seem to notice and maybe he is scared to say something… (something like this happened to me)


The first thing I thought was maybe something is happening at school.
Just Bc the teacher says he’s doing fine doesn’t mean he actually is. Teachers can’t notice everything.


Take him and pick him up. Some schools will let the parent spend the day there so maybe ask them about it and be there with him for a day to see whats going on. Maybe hes getting picked on and the teachers arent catching it or not saying anything to you about it.


Teachers can lie too. Somethings up. Have his teacher switched and see if it helps.


ask him if its the bus or school he doesn’t like. there may be a an underlying reason. it could just be a phase as well. my kids get bored at school and act up when its time to go. they also do it because they cant have their devices at school but get them when they are home because they are spoiled shits. if he is showing negative signs to you you can call and schedule an apt with a child behavioral specialist for better info and resources to help. (im a mom to 2 boys with Autism. ages 9 about to be 10 and 6) my 6yr old has been being an ass lately with the bus. you are not alone

It definitely sounds like something is happening. Maybe on the bus? Maybe at recess? Teachers have so many kids in the class and even if it was a better ratio, they are not trained to be child psychologists.

I would start with a date. I try to do something one on one outside of the house with my each of my sons. Build up to a trust conversation and listen more than you speak :purple_heart: try not to take it personally too, you are his safe space, you are his mama.

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My son was having that issue and I kept trying to talk to him and bothered him daily and teachers kept saying he was fine at school and no issues but he was refusing to go and it turned out someone was bullying him daily on the bus and no one noticed I only found out after they watch cameras on the bus and caught it happening daily. Kids were stealing his lunch, pushing in around and making fun of him. Once it was all figured out and fixed he was back to loving it! I’d look into stuff a little more not get so mad or upset with him maybe something is going on he is embarrassed to talk about. :relieved:


Have you ever tried to go in and visit like sit in class with him as a volunteer and help out the class maybe it’ll change his tune on going to school and wanting you there. I would honestly be looking into if there’s a chance that maybe someone at school was picking on him and the teacher doesn’t honestly now. Just because the teacher is saying there isn’t a problem there may be a problem that she don’t know about or something that she don’t see it as a problem but he feels it’s a big problem. If it’s not an issue where when he stays home he clings to you then it’s obviously not a you issue it is more of a defiance issue or a school issue. have you ever had him check for maybe a learning disability maybe he’s having a little bit of trouble and getting frustrated. It also could just be the fact of he doesn’t want to get up early

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Honestly some kiddos do better when they start at age 6. My son started kindergarten at 6 and did so well with it. My daughter was 5 and had a really hard time, still does. I so wish we would of waited and started her at 6. My youngest just turned 5 and she is definitely not ready to start this September so she will be starting at 6 :green_heart:

My 10 year old has done that
Since he started k4. Every morning is a screaming match, and he goes but is late everyday. Ive spanked, ive taken things away, he hates school. Hes in 5th grade and im over it…

My oldest son had the same issue. My husband and I asked him if there was anything wrong happening at school. He broke down and explained a boy was being mean to him. (Kicking, pushing, hitting him on the playground. Putting trash on his desk and taking his pencils…) at that age, they can’t express their feelings much. Maybe sit and ask questions. Ask if anything made him sad, angry, laugh and happy. Good luck Mama!! :heart:


Have a talk with him. Not a mom to kid talk. Maybe tell him how you had a bad day and see if he engages. Something has happened and I’m sure he would love to tell you. Kids get stressed.

Yhink its time to see someone. Start with the school have a meeting with teacher, principle, nurse, anyone else. If this doesnt help would contact a councilor for kids. Any no. of things could cause this. The bus driver should not of kicked your son off the bus. There is something going on, is he being bullied by some one. Told scary stories and told not to repeat or tell anyone. My son was this way when he first started Kindsrgarden. So I waited a year and it helped. Some boys mature slower and if a divorce, death, sickness, older kids anything can cause this. Does he have a hearing problem. Keep at it and good luck in finding the reason.

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I’d ask him and the teacher if he’s getting bullied or if he has friends at school. Kids can be cruel.

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Eh…my 5 year old loved school until he realized you have to work. He tries to throw fits but this mom is not a morning person…the repeat threat is no snack if he doesn’t act right…I’d prolly give it to him anyways but he doesn’t have to know that lol…it could be a maturity level. He is still at the age of cant focus and handle things like school…ik with mine it isn’t bullying…he won’t take that from anyone as his tiny self is a tough cookie (I have 4 boys, they gotta be)…maybe try approaching with a firmer hand. Kids are tiny people but you’re still the boss…molding them to be successful big people in the future.


Maybe he has separation anxiety. My daughter had it when she first started school it was horrible. I talked to her doctor and they gave her something for it. She only took it before school, but I agree it could also be some kids bullying…

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Look into homeschooling. Best thing I ever did for my children.

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my son has had some of those problems and he’s been bullied is why. That could be it definately

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Honestly it sounds like there is something going on. Maybe a kid being mean or he is feeling alone or he is struggling learning. My advice is try to figure out what is really going on


2 suggestions… If you can, take him and pick him up. Some of the best quality time with my son was during the drive. Ask about what his day is going to be like, and what it was like. No electronics on the ride.
Also, is he tired? Kids want mom more when they are. He should be sleeping at LEAST 10 hours a night. There is a lot of learning and brain work going on. Good luck!


My kindergartner is having the same issue. Hes ways been the biggest sweetheart until recently. Last week he came home with a scratch across his cheek and down his shoulder. I asked and asked but he repeatedly told me the cat did it (not true) he would get so angry and hateful at me for trying to find out what was going on…finally I thought maybe if he doesnt tell me and he might tell a stuffed animal…so we hid under the blankets. I said i have an idea. Let’s whisper in your puppy’s ear about what’s bothering us and we have to be honest. So i went first and told the puppy a silly problem of mine and then my son who loudly whispers told his puppy what was going on at school.(I did kinda coax the idea by saying maybe something at school or your game or hurt feelings he might whisper since I was sure something happened at school)… A boy keeps picking on him. Has choked him. Scratched him and kicked him…the next day, knowing my son would never tell on this kid i thought it would be fun playtime to teach some defense moves and to let him know bullies are not ok and he would never get in trouble by me f[r defending himself. I never mentioned hearing his whisper…there’s no way his teacher with 25 kids can keep an eye at all times…and if it’s at recess there’s only 5 teachers watching around 130 6 year olds. They cant see everything


They can kick a five year old off a bus? Was a parent/guardian still at the stop when that happened?

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If this parent has a child of color who’s in a PWI (pre-dominantly white institution), ask to meet with the teacher to gauge how inclusive and equitable their practices are. If there are red flags, go straight to administration.

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I had the same problem with my kids. I got some tips from the school counsellor, and a couple that I made up on my own.

  1. (This one isn’t easy) but… Do not give in. School is not an option. But if you truly don’t feel he is ready, try again next year. I’ve had to walk my kids to school kicking and screaming, but no matter what, they still had to go.

  2. Have a routine, draw out the “steps” for the morning, so he has a visual on what he needs to do.

  3. Mark a calendar with “good days” (days he went to school without issue) and after a full week/month of good days, reward him.

  4. Set alarms. I have an alarm set for a few minutes before my kids have to get ready for the bus, so as soon as they hear it, they’ll have a minute to whine, and then a few minutes to get ready, then a few minutes to get to the bus stop and wait.

  5. Keep in contact with your sons teacher, maybe set up a meeting for him and the counsellor. My boys school has been super helpful when it came to attendance.

My oldest is now 8, and his attendance has been almost perfect this school year, but there was one time where I gave him a free pass to stay at home, because I could feel he was stressed and needed a day off. My middle child who is in kindergarten, struggles a little bit with going back to school after long weekends or breaks, but he’s doing so much better than he was last year (we ended up pulling him out of junior kindergarten because he wasn’t ready)

His teacher might not treat him fairly, my kid had a problem with his teacher and we changed rooms he did fine.

My son cried everyday of kinder. Just keep sending him, he will stop.

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Has he always been snappy? He could not want to interact nicely or go to school because he is being bullied. Just a possibility. But for just the hostility at home when trying to talk to a 5yr old id probably have him see a counselor to work out feelings and stuff that may be going on early.

I am more concerned with the fact that he wants nothing to do with you at home. I would start there. More one on one time. Tv/phones off, down on the floor playing.


I remember when I began school I was so excited because being home was so boring but when I started I soon found out that almost everyone in the world including teachers is a steaming pile of shit. I remember I got so depressed so fast and took forever before I recovered.

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You can also ask to attend class and help out and see if that Changes his behavior from other days then you know something isn’t right !

Usually when kids act like that something is going on at school, find out if anything is going on. Talk to him and then maybe talk to his teacher ?

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If you already brought this issue to the teacher then need to speak to your pediatrician and the school guidance counselor. There has to be a reason why he is acting out. Sounds like maybe he has something that needs a diagnosis therapy if changed so quickly and also does not want anything to do with you at home. To much tv and video games for young kids, under 10 can do alot of harm. Try spending time with him outside go to parks and read to him at night when u put him to sleep

I’d talked to your son on a deeper level, asking more questions. Saying this cause this happened to my son when he was in Elementary school. Found out he was being bullied by a boy in his class. Not saying this is happening to your son however, lots of similarities.

Something is happening at school that’s bothering him. It may be on the bus or somewhere his teacher isn’t seeing it. He could be being bullied. Send something to record on his person so you can figure it out cuz his teacher already told you she doesn’t know


hi my son did the same thing but it did not starttell he was in 6th thay told me he was a good boy in class. i went off on a lim and call a psychiatrist. i thought he wood be mad but he like it.i found out that he hassocial anxirty. he does not take medication. i dont know how old your boy is but that is what i did he is in high school. he is doing alot better. he works on it everyday i dont know if that helped but if you would like to talk i am a goodlistener

Sounds like you need to talk to the bus driver and do further investigation with the school and possibly get him appointments set up with a counselor

Ohh something isn’t rite at school… u better get all over that, getting bullied or a teacher doing something! Standing at the door of the bus crying… maybe someone on the bus? Put a recording thing in his book bag

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Maybe he is having a hard time with kids bullying or maybe the teacher gives him a hard time to the point where he hates school. Talk to the school counselor to see what you can do. Maybe he can let her know whats going on.

I actually ended up pulling my daughter out of school when she was 5, she just wasn’t ready yet.
Went back a year later and now she absolutely loves learning but is home schooled.
I think sometimes they just aren’t ready for that much structure and rules at such a young age. Schools have changed so much since my older two went, it’s a lot harder now.

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My 9 year old had same issue. It didn’t start happening until after my dad passed away and I think my son didn’t know how to express how he felt so he distant himself and didn’t wanna talk to me about it because he didn’t want me upset for talking about my dad. Maybe something is going on with your son that he doesn’t wanna talk about? My son now sees a school counselor and is doing better at wanting to go to school.

Hold him back and try again next year. Boys don’t mature as fast as girls.

I would say keep taking him when I was in the 3rd grade I cried everyday for half the day and than eventually I stopped if you see that nothings changed and it’s the same maybe hold him back another year

Sounds like social anxiety. Can you make a small bear with your picture on it and tell him to hug it everytime he thinks of you

You sure wasnt being bullied the teacher always know. Ask teacher if you stay the class one and see what happens .

You sure he isnt being bullied. The teacher doesnt alway know. Ask the teacher if you stay in class one day and see what happens

I think maybe you should ask him if everyone is being nice to him. The teacher too. I hated school.I was.ADHD and didn’t know. Teacher always yelling at me. Mom always yelling at me about homework. Well things sure got better once they
put me on adhd meds.

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Teacher may not know. Be vigilant. Sounds like issues at school.

Sometimes it’s hard to talk to an open up to a parent, maybe have another family member or close family friend just ask “how buddy how’s school” in a friendly manner and maybe see if he opens up about something going on he’s to scared to tell a parent. Hope you find out what’s going on :heart:

Maybe ask him to think of why he is having a problem going to school. Ask him to draw a picture of the reason. Maybe he could then tell you about it. My son had a real
Hard time vocalizing his feelings about something that upsets him too. Boys are not as good with words as girls are. They need some help getting their words out when they are upset. Best luck to you and to him.

Good time for him to learn that there are situations in life you may not like, but you gotta do it anyway

I volunteered alot at my kid’s elementary school, my kids never had any issues but it might help your son if he knows you’re close by during his school day. If nothing else, it may help you find the root of his problem.

Awwwhh :cry: that’s awfully sad. Maybe something is going on in class.

My 7 yr isn’t to this extreme but he has made it very clear that he does not like school. He’d much rather not go but knows he has to go. He’s not being bullied or anything. Times have changed, I loved school as a child. I feel there’s so much pressure on them now and they’re being pushed so hard tbh. Also, I’ve volunteered often and some of these teachers are just miserable and yell at them all damn day. I hope you find a solution

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I’m sure we all went threw this.
I would not instantly homeschool. I wouldn’t pull him out of school.

Look its change.

Change is so hard.

My daughter is 5 and fixing to be in school. I knew preschool would be good get her ready for it. But I wasnt ready for it. Shes got so many years to go that I just wanted her home and that’s ok. But in that comes change that they dont realize.
It takes time to get used to. An time is really all you have.

Hes old enough to talk an have an understanding. He may not like it but it’s the new norm. An there will always be days hes not gonna want to go and hes gonna cry to stay home. We’ve all been there. It just takes time to handle it.

This sounds like something may be going on, maybe a classmate bullied him or maybe happened on the bus. Awful young, but it happens. A kid once got in my sons face (who is also 5) and said some hurtful things to him. I got it squared out with the teacher and they’re friends now. I’d ask to meet with his teacher and maybe volunteer in the classroom. Don’t instantly jump to homeschooling but something is definitely up here, I hate to say it.

Go to class with him a few times and sit in the back gradually you’ll be able to leave him there alone
Also, maybe have the teacher involve him like passing out papers, etc.

Something maybe going on at school you can’t trust anyone now a days

Have you read “the kissing hand”? Might Help

My oldest had the same issue. Even made himself sick to puking. After many visits and tests at the doctors, it was he didn’t like his teacher

He’s being bullied, seek help.

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Happened with my son at daycare when he was 3. Took him to a different daycare, no problems whatsoever. Something is going on with that baby. Ask him about his friends and teachers, who the nice ones are and if there’s any grumpy kids or teachers. Tell him when you were a kid there was always at least one or two grumpy kids and even the teachers were grumpy sometimes. Use words and scenarios he can understand and relate to. And if he tells you something different than what the teacher says, BELIEVE HIM. He has no reason to lie. If we don’t look out for our kids, who will?

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