That’s a learned behavior, don’t take it personally! Keep doing you and your child will figure it out.
You continue to tell her and show her you love her. In my experience she will come around.
All kids do this! It lets you know your doing your job! This normally comes when they are being told no bout something or the dreaded I hate you! You clearly already tell her when she says that, that you love her. Don’t let it get to you she will out grow it!
It’s a phase. Eventually she will come around.
If you feel it’s a real issue, then get her into counseling.
Just keep loving her and telling her how much you love her. Love wins!!
Ask her why she would say that. Tell her that it is a very mean & hurtful thing to say. If she is learning that from her dads then he will be the one she will end up not loving, because she will figure out what he is doing on her own. Never bad mouth him and let her tell you on her own that he is telling her to say things like that. In other words don’t ask directly “is daddy telling you to say this” . Unless you are horribly abusive or she is just a mean child (which would mean she needs to see a psychologist because there is something going on) then I would just continue to ask her every time she says it: Why are you saying this and tell her that it is a very mean and hurtful thing to say. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope she just doesn’t realize how mean it is to say.
My three year old started saying this to me and my husband when she is upset as us for any reason ( as little as let’s go to the potty… lol) I know she doesn’t understand what she is saying and she is saying it bc she has an idea that it makes us sad when she says it… and it does! Even though I know she doesn’t get it, it still hurts a little when it is said. When your daughter says this, respond with a “well that makes me very sad but I love you no matter what!” … hang in there. She doesn’t mean it!!!
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She needs to know no matter what she says, your response that you love her will always be there.
My 3 year old says it to me. She says I don’t love you and I say well I love you. It used to be I hate you but she’s moved to less aggressive words
A lot of kids do this to get a reaction. Just reply well I love you and I’m here when you’re done being upset.
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My grandmother never told my mother she loved her. So my mom told me everyday. When I was around 5-6 I started to resent it. Give her some space and stop taking it so personally. She’s 5
I think all kids go through this phase. My littlest can only love 1 thing at a time; that may be the puppy, the bird, mom, dad or one of his siblings. Don’t take it personal; just remind them that you love them very much and that it’s hurtful when they say they don’t love you. Redirect those words and help her understand her feelings. “I think you still love me but I think you are just upset with me.”
So this happened to us with our 3/4 year-old at the time, and it’s best to not take it to heart, the advice I got from my mom is when a little one does that it’s Just then showing emotion to get some love. Because it probably sparks a reaction out of you and kids don’t know good attention from bad attention. Just let those words roll off your back and show them some love. Maybe offer to do something fun or go to the park. It’s hard to hear your child say that, and it hurt me to see my husband go through that, but give a little more love, out now 4 year old doesn’t really say it anymore. We feel it was a phase that we will probably have to go through again in a co parent house hold.
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Maybe I’m the unpopular opinion but I think you should explain to her how that makes you feel. That it makes you sad, hurt etc so that she can learn empathy. Of course don’t overreact or be harsh. I’d tell her it’s ok to have feelings and I’m always here to help you work through them but it’s never okay to hurt someone else’s feelings on purpose. I’d tell her she doesn’t have to say I love you if she doesn’t want to, but that she doesn’t need to say she doesn’t love you either. Maybe also be more present in that moment and get to the real issue/feelings if you feel like it isn’t just totally random to get your reaction.
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My brother once wrote my mom a note
“Dear mom,
I hate you.
Love,Chuckie
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It’s to you hurt you just pay it no attention as hard as that is to do it’s to get what she wants and don’t fall for it and talk to her ask her why and let her know you love her no matter what
My 3 year old says this, he literally just looks for a reaction. We always just tell him “that’s fine, mommy or daddy have enough love for both of us” normally he will say sorry and tell us he loves us within a few minutes
She’s doing it for the reaction you’re giving her
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This is pretty common at that age. The more she gets an emotional response the more she will continue. If you have to react, laugh & say you love her anyway.
My daughter said that to me when she was that age. I said that’s ok I still love you. She broke down crying and said I love you mom. I told her I know you do. There is an underlying reason why she is saying that she is taking her frustration out on you. Come to find out her teacher was saying things like if you do something bad you don’t love your parents. The teacher and I had some words
When my kids tell me they don’t love me I say “Good, then I know I’m doing my job well. If you don’t approve of how I’m doing things, then I know that its because I’m being your parent, not your friend, and that is my goal. You do not have to like or love me, but you will respect me”. Usually shuts it down!