My 6-year-old hasn't wanted to go back to school since break: Advice?

I have a six-year-old boy, an only child. His father and I separated three years ago; I now live with my current partner, and just last year, we moved an hour away from my son’s dad’s house. His father still sees him three days of the week(which I think is a lot) Just giving a background story So my son is in 1st grade started the school year normally in August, but ever since they had their winter break (two weeks), he has been struggling to go back to school. He cries and gets so anxious with just the thought of school. He bites his nails doesn’t give a reason for not wanting to go. It doesn’t seem like he has a bullying problem either. He literally will not budge from his car seat when I attempt to take him. I’ve tried to remove him forcefully, but don’t try too hard because I don’t want CPS called on me. Did any of you experience this? Any suggestions?


Maybe try talking to his teacher to see if anything is going on


I had this problem, and my child was being bullied. The teachers didn’t do anything about it, so I changed his class. He loves school now and is mad if he’s sick and can’t go


I experienced this with 2 of the 3 I have…for my boys it was all a matter of getting them back into the groove of school again. If it continues I would make an appointment for him. There may be something that is causing him anxiety that he doesn’t understand yet due to his age.

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Go with him tell him lets see ur friends how is school try to findout from him wat goes on there from daily activities to wat he eats just to break the ice so he feels comfortable

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Behavioral health. They are great for getting kids to open up.

I would probe some more both your son and teacher… There has to be something causing him not to want to go …

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I am a school nurse. My suggestion is to meet with teacher, administrators and a school councelor, social worker or psychologist so you can see if maybe something happened that you don’t know about and maybe they will have a good idea to get him into school without added trauma to him. Good luck momma!


CPS will be called by the principal of the school my kids go if they miss so many days.

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I would take a day to go in and sit in his class the whole day and see what is going on


I see alot of people saying its him. Behavioral and getting back in the groove, ect. I had this problem and it was the teacher herself! Not saying it is always the teacher but I would definitely check up on it. The teachers now days aren’t the best. Given there are a few but most nowadays are not that great.


Get the school guidance. Counselor to help.

Sometimes it’s the teacher. Sometimes it’s the kid. Every time we had a teacher my son didn’t jive with, or vice versa it was like pulling teeth. But when he got good teachers going was no problem.

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Maybe speak to the school counselor, maybe they can talk to him and see if there is some underlying issues that can be resolved. He may be anxious about a subject he’s struggling with, could feel insecure about something but not know how to verbalize. Hope it’s something little that can be fixed.


My niece had the hardest time! She cried everyday with separation anxiety! It was so sad but my sister had to make her go!! After about the middle mark of school she was good! It was a very long hard sad road!!

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some schools have drs to help check in to it !

Have a talk with the teacher they have been through this more then the rest of us. You & her May he able to come up with a plan to get back on track .

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Talk to the school counselor

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He could be getting bullied around.i would also talk to his teacher

I think it all has to do with you separating from his dad ask his dad to step up and take him to school if he can

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Separations are hell on kids don’t be self-conscious not anything you’re doing he’s trying to deal with it too

Whoop his ass and drag him in there

Check out the staff.

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Check out the school to see what he is like there x good luck love

Sometimes public school is just too much …Have you ever considered homeschool ?

Contact his teacher. Is he still upset when you’re gone. Some children have a hard time with the initial separation, but are then fine. I teach prek, and we see it often. Good luck!

I would try calling the school and talk to his teacher and see how hes behaving in class. SECONDLY a child could never have enough time with just 1 parent. 3 days a week is nothing. Does his dad ever try and drive him to school? Does the same thing happen? Having separated parents is tough on young children.

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Why is 3 days a week a lot for dad to see him? If dad saw him more often before you moved, and then saw him again over break, he might just be missing dad and acting out because of that. Could be the teacher, could be bullying.

My oldest had severe anxiety and I pulled him out of school to homeschool because it was so bad.

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He may be bullied and scared to tell anyone.

Talk with the school psychologist they are more experienced and my have some tips or may be able to figure out why he is feeling this way

I’m having the same issue with my 5 year old. Maybe talk to his teacher and definitely your son. I asked my son what was up and he said he just misses me and his dad, no other issues.

Is that your general assumption that 3 days a week is a lot for the dad? , or is there some other reason? I would want to see my kids 7 days a week if me and my partner split up

My son was the same when school started. Screaming and begging not to go. Telling me he hated me. That he’d nuke me if he could etc
I still drug him to school.🤷
Within a couple weeks he adjusted and now just goes nicely.
But I had verified with the teacher that he was fine once there(and she was shocked with what I was dealing with cuz he never acted like that AT school).
Kids know how to work you. So they work it.
He knows if he fits, you give in.
My kid HATES school lol for no reason. Just doesn’t like having to do work instead of play.
But he’s gotta do school and so I enforced that. Now, no hassle. Just the occasional day he’ll ask for a “mental health” day and I grant it. He stays home to play.
But beyond that…you can hate me, you can scream, you can kick, you can threaten to kill me…but your butt is getting on that bus🤷.

Did he attend PreK or Kindergarten? I think, because he’s only in first grade, he could be having an issue because he got too used to his break. My 7 year old first grader is having the same thing. Also major behavioral issues since winter break (hers lasted 3 weeks). She refuses to get up, get dressed, get out the car, etc. And then when I pick her up I find out she yelled a lot, didn’t want to pay attention, refused to do work, etc. I feel like it’s because of a lack of consistency.

I’m the step mom, not the bio mom (she hasn’t been in the picture since she was 8months old so I know she’s not the problem). But she didn’t regularly attend kindergarten or pre k. So I feel like her acting this way is because she thinks I’m going to keep her home like her grandma used to.

Hang in there Momma :heart:

I have a 9 year old who I had to Carrie out of my house while he was kicking and screaming because he didn’t want to go after about two weeks of this I got a hold of his teacher we had a meeting come to find out the level book he had for English was way above his level and he didn’t want to go because he knew he would struggle she gave him a book one level less and he goes every day with a smile on just like he did before.

It sounds like he has anxiety. Which shouldn’t be taken lightly. You may see this as no reason for him to be like this. But he is clearly suffering mentally

My aunt’s 7 years old daughter is currently experiencing this. Its separation anxiety. Speak with your child’s teacher and set a meeting with the school counselor.

My daughter did this. Would say her stomach hurt. Cry when the bus pulled up. Tried everything you said above. After many struggles and research, we decided it might be separation anxiety. I spoke to her teacher and once she was at school she was fine. We began sending an item of mine (necklace) and an hanky sprayed with my husbands cologne to school with her to keep in her desk. This way, if she felt anxious, she could pull those things out. We still have issues every once in a while, But this helped tremendously


Does he take bus or do you drop him off not always something going on in school could be on bus after school or at lunch or on playground definitely talk to teacher and principal

My 11 year old is going through this. Working with him, school and a counselor, hoping it helps for my son.

All you can do is talk to him, his teachers and any of his friends or their parents you know. Is there another option for his schooling? I homeschool my first grader because she has social anxiety and other personal reasons. I realize that’s not an option for everyone, but you have to remember to always do what’s best for your child. Maybe he’s being pushed too hard, all kids develop differently and first grade can be overwhelming for a 6 year old.

Talk to the office. Someone there should be able to help you. Ask for someone to speak to your child, there may be something going on at school that nobody knows about


What does child say? Our children did that at one time or another… we asked what is going on for them to feel that way, it took time, but child said, then found a solution.

Is he getting bully on the bus or in school? Or teachers being mean ? Sometimes things like this will cause kids not wanting to go to school to avoid it. Best look in too it.


back n the day, w/ My, children. I’d go sit n the class all day. or hall way… school hated me. o well.

Sometimes it’s not always something happening at school.
Children are strange in that they dont really have the capacity to express themselves. It might be something at home that you dont know about, or dads house that you dont know about. Could be a friend, or maybe a friend is having a problem, confided in them and it is making your child anxious.
School is often a child’s lowest priority, even if they seem to love it. Rejoice in the fact that they see you as their safe space and keep your chin up, you will figure this out. Sometimes taking them to someone who specializes in children (like a pediatric OT, or your doctor) can help.
As an OTA and just working with kids, I always find it easiest to have the child draw. They can visually get issues out better than verbally. Ask them to draw their day at school, and you draw your day at work. Or ask them to draw their fear and you draw one of yours (a child friendly one of course).

This happened to my son in the 4th grade. It ended up being anxiety disorder. Look for this like a stomach ache, no reason for not wanting to (after u make sure nothing is happening). Headaches, and they will say I can’t breathe or its hard to breathe, also it feels like something is sitting on my chest and also chest pain. Please listen anxiety is a terrible thing for a child. They can not explain it so they most certainly need profession help with this you cannot do it on your own. A counselor did wonders for my son. I started with the school counselors.


Bust his ass and show him your boss and that u expect certain things deom him, and school is one of the things he has to do

Just keep asking, but dont barrage or pry with questions, he will open up when ready…

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I assure u something is going on …go talk to his teachers…bullying is not always visual.


Maybe he is being bullied!!

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He’s 6 who’s the parent and who’s the child???

2 Likes is a free homeschool curriculum

My son is autistic and developed similar issue. The stimulus was too much for him. Not saying this is your son but what i did to figure out what was going on was make it into a game of questions. Kind of like “I Spy” game and just play a few times a day and eventually soon you will connect the dots. Hope this helps.
You have to come down to the childs level of thinking and comprehension. It varies so much from us. And often when we dont see or hear what we want we get frustrated and that can block signs of other things. Maybe he is being bullied by a student or even teacher and he is afraid to tell you about it or not sure how to use the right words. That’s where a game comes in because they think they are playing but subconsciously they are letting it out without knowing.

It could also just be that he knows if he throws a tantrum that u will let him stay home. Maybe get him seen by a counselor to determine if it’s that or a real issue. Always fight for your babies either way tho.

Honestly, I can’t blame him. School is awful.

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Maybe social anxiety I would get like this not when I was that younge though definitely have him see a counselor or therapist

Tell him “the doctor said it’s because you’re not getting enough sleep, so you’ll be going to bed earlier every night until this gets better…”

Will Dad, take him to school?

Something must be going on. Maybe he would talk to a counselor. I had the same issue last year. It ended up being a teacher. Switched teachers and now I have no issues, no bad notes and straights A’s. Mines is in 2nd grade.

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Bring in the school counselor. They will help you