Hi guys, so I have an issue I would love some feedback on. My son is 6 yrs old and in kindergarten. He went back to school this week after winter break and is all of a sudden having a hard time with it. We didn’t have a problem until recently. He will cry and tell me he doesn’t want to go, and this morning he had a mild panic attack. So I walked him in and talked to his teacher, asking her if there might be something going on, she said she hadn’t noticed anything. My issue is there is obviously something going on, but no one can tell me what it is. I have talked to my son, and he says he doesn’t like going because there aren’t any teachers there when I drop him off, which is not true, I’ve checked. I’m sort of at a loss, I feel bad dropping him off with tears in his eyes, but he has to go to school, I just don’t know what to do.
Following… same situation!
It’s normal for kids to regress around breaks and the start of school. Younger kids after 2 weeks off have a hard time adjusting to routine again when they’ve been with mom for 2 weeks straight. Give it time.
My son did this the first 6 months of kindergarten. Him going to school was the first time being away from me. I never got babysitters or left him anywhere. We spent all our time together. It could be an attachment issue.
like our school they all go to the gym at drop off. I always stay with my child until they leave with their teacher to go to class. he is in the first grade and he don’t want me to leave the gym so I stay looking like the crazy mom lol but that is okay it makes him feel comfortable. lol
My kids haven’t done this yet but I remember when I was that age I would just miss my parents so much it really upset me.
Maybe he just got used to being home and is having separation anxiety?
I had the same situation a year ago and it turned out there was someone not being very nice to my son, but never caught by the teacher - it was little things like stamping on his foot under the tables, trying to get him in trouble, knocking stuff off from his desk. Things that might’ve appeared as an accident but weren’t. We got it sorted and he’s been fine.
Although sometimes I feel after the winter holidays it can be hard for them going back, they’ve just spent a couple weeks at home, had lots of fun with family and at Christmas etc, they can feeling like they’re missing out by going back to school. It’s tough when they’re little. Keep chatting with him, hopefully it isn’t the first situation I mentioned and more the second one. It’s only been a week see how he goes over the never couple weeks
My daughter didnt want to go back because she was used to being home and doing what she felt like doing. Her routine changed during the break so she just needed to readjust. Shes 6.
PLEASE do not ascribe a 6 yo as having a panic attack!! He doesn’t like getting up early. Doesn’t like having to sit still.
He’d rather he home (wouldn’t we all?) Put your foot down.
If there ARE issues at school, address them…
Does he have an older friend or neighbor that could walk with him to class? My son would walk our neighbors kindergartener to class and it helped a lot with him not wanting to go.
I have a couple of kids, and sometimes it’s simply just that they dont want to go to school, it doesnt mean that there is obviously something going on. He may be bored, he may want to be home playing with toys because he doesnt want to learn his letters/numbers, he may just miss you. Kindergarten is a place where there is the highest level of separation anxiety. You know that his reason (teachers not being there) is not the truth, so just give it time, he will get back into the swing of the routine in a couple days, and stay strong.
Remember, a temper fit is not a panic attack. People go to the hospital for panic attacks because it causes physical pain similar to a heart attack. Crying before school is not the same.
So my 8 yr old had a complete melt down the night before he had to go back…hes older so he was abke to tell us it was because he just enjoyed all of us being home together as a whole family…we literally spent every day together having fun…ask him this and see if it goes anywhere…and then maybe make a deal with him sundays family day ext
It’s normal for kids not to want to go back to school after a long break. My son didn’t want to either. But I told him if he goes back and doesn’t give anyone a hard time, and listens and does his work. Then we can do something fun on the weekend something of his choosing. It’s just a matter of getting back into routine.
My 6 year old done this last year with kindergarten. It was a really rough time. It was separation anxiety at it fullest. I bought her a diffuser necklace with calming scents in it. It did help some. I told her that I would give her hugs and kisses and then she had to go. Kind of like ripping off a band aid. A set routine for her. She’s in first grade this year and has done amazing. After breaks are hard for them. Prayers for you and your baby! I know it is hard!
Go in the school with him.
Speaking as a teacher, it is always harder after the break. Thankfully, I work with upper grades, so it is a bit different, but many times, the younger ones will cry and not want to. They arent really interested in the long haul.
Drop him off, turn around and walk away. You know he is safe and watched after. That’s what matters. I know it is hard, but he will be fine. If you try to console him, it will make it harder on him. My first child with separation anxiety screamed for 6 months when we dropped him off. I would coddle him and love on him. I ended up spending most of my time at the school. My youngest did the same thing and when I finally started dropping her off and walking away, it got a whole lot better. Sometimes the teacher had to hug her while I walked away so she didn’t chase me down the hall, but it was so much easier. Hang in there, Momma!
Children can have panic attacks just like adults do have him checked by a doctor. I know kids 5 and 6 yrs old that have had full blown anxiety and panic attacks.
could very well be someone messing with him and “no teachers are around” to catch them…
My son is in kindergarten and doing the same thing, I spoke with his teacher yesterday because he also is faking sick to stay home. I talked to him and I sent him to school with something of mine that picked so he has something when he feels sad. Today went better but now we have the weekend so we will see how next week goes:joy:
Make a sticker chart and tell him you will put a sticker on it for every day he goes to school with no issues, and once he has a week of stickers, he gets a reward (a toy, going out to dinner, movie night, etc.)
Instead of dreading school, he will look forward to getting a sticker on his chart.
Poor baby, I hope this helps 
If it doesn’t, maybe talk to the guidance counselor. They have a way of getting children to talk about what’s going on.
To everyone here saying that this isn’t a panic attack - stop it. Children can have panic attacks. Stop minimizing this mother/child experience. Children suffer from anxiety too, and those that do will struggle whenever they experience a disruption to their schedule. A kindergartner who was home for a few weeks over Christmas may very well panic and have severe anxiety about returning to school. The solution is to provide support but to return to the school routine. They will adjust shortly - and they will adjust faster if they have trusted adults who are understanding and supportive.
Mine was having that issue and told us they were not nice to him. And when I went to the school to volunteer I saw Pre-K girls and 5 the grade boys in the same bathrooms they left the classroom at random without asking and the teacher wasn’t sure where they were… I pulled him out and went to online schooling instead
He might be being bullied
My daughter did this and I finally got down to a student. Amd the club before school. She had about 20 reasons why that werent valid. Until i kept asking and she finally told me.
Mine to but she doesn’t like the teacher wed Thursday Friday
Its fight every week
There is something bothering him. Help him. He may not be telling you the all truth.
Kinda just sounds like a kid throwing a fit because he wants to stay at home and do what he wants.
Just drop him off, turn and leave. You know he’s fine, he’s safe, he’s cared for… He just can’t play all day and do what he wants 24/7.
Theres different ways of asking which can help him open up, such as not asking him face to face but when hes in the car or sitting where u cant see him (this allows him to feel its easier to open up), also asking him what makes him feel a certain way (such as "what makes you feel sad when you r at school? What makes you feel scared etc…)
Sounds like it could be separation anxiety. My daughter is in 5th grade and has had this issues since kindergarten. Just keep reassuring him, letting him know it’s good for him to learn but don’t baby him.
Go to the school unannounced
Put something special in his pocket and ask him to keep it for you and give it back after school.
I think you should just continue doing what you are doing. If it is truly just an adjustment issue from the break it will resolve on it’s own most likely. If it continues then I would be a little more concerned and would probably have another conversation with his teacher(s). In the meantime, just reassure and console. But stay firm. Hang in there and good luck mama!
Yup, it happened to me before break and it was because he didn’t want to follow rules and he would get put in time out. He wanted to change schools 
i had to explain to him that no matter what school you go to you have to follow rules and all your life basically lol
My daughter had the same problem, she was being bullied. She didn’t want to tell us
Get out the school calendar and show him all the days he’ll get off. I know here in Washington they seem to be out of school more than in. That really helped my girls
This happened to my daughter when she was in kindergarten after being home a couple days with a case of strep. 2 weeks straight she had to be peeled off me, screaming like she was being kidnapped. Then she made a bff and all was well as long as she could walk in with her every morning. But if she wasn’t there, the panic was back. Now we’re in first grade and she could care less. A quick hug and see you later and she’s off. This too shall pass.
And just so everyone knows, there was no issue. She just wanted to be home with me and her baby brother
I experienced this with my now 19 year old. I sat in her classroom and observed her behavior , it did this for a few days but randomly so my child didn’t know when I would be there. My daughter has several developmental issues and required extra attention and time with assignments. Some schools have programs that offer student aids, people who care for and are with your child all day, so if your child has anxiety or for instance he broke his foot, the student aid would be there to assist your child. Children can be so complex yet so easy. If he doesn’t want to talk both of you sit down and you ask him to draw a picture of his day you draw your day , afterward talk to each other about your pictures, compliment each other and ask questions. Children often draw , write and or color to cope. Most important make it your child
Coming from her mom I was 7 year old with ADHD sometimes they have tough mornings and then make excuses for not wanting to go to school but you have to be a tough mom and send them anyway they will work it till there’s no tomorrow to make it reasonable for them not to go but you have to be tough and send them anyway it’s the best things for them keep it up strong mama
Watch for someone bullying, happen to one of my grandchildren and they were told they would get beat up if they told anyone. Went on for four weeks till we figured it out and made her tell us. Got sick every morning, and came home sick a lot. Just watch. Goodluck
keep your eyes open and keep checking on him even if it means a surprise visit at school apparenting something has happened to cause this
I have a 16 and 17 year old granddaughters who literally get sick because they hate school. So much. That dont like the teachers or the other students and the lunches. They hate the school uniform. I get them counseling 2 times mo. And still no changes.
My 7 year old had been the same exact way begging an crying not to go an would get so worked up he would puke while i was dropping him off so they would send him home. Nothing was going on at school an he enjoys it once hes there but getting him in there was awful because he would get anxiety so bad he just hates walking in his class by himself were not allowed to go past the doors. His dad got him a special necklace an got us matching ones an told him when he walks in or gets nervous to hold on to it an we will no he’s holding it an we will hold onto ours (so its like holding his hand) an it has made a big difference everyday when i pick him up ill ask him if holding the necklace helped him because it sure helped me an he will get excited an say it helped me too. Now after a couple weeks he runs to me after school an says all i had to do is wear my necklace an it helped without holding it.
I went through the same thing last year with my 7 yr old started after winter break. It got so bad we had to see a doctor and she was diagnosed with anxiety so her teacher assigned her basically a class buddy that she sat her next to and it honestly helped so much! It’s so hard because it really makes u feel horrible to have to make them go.
I agree with the sticker chart to work toward an award
Make a reward chart. That’s what I had to do with my 4yr old. He loves comfort, so being away from everything he’s used to caused major anxiety and tears for the first month. But I told him after 5 stars, we would go and pick out a Pokémon pack of his choice. Thankfully his teachers are amazing and he is very sociable once comfortable, so I knew once he relaxed a bit he’d start loving it. He hesitated after the break too, we did the same thing this week and on Friday he got a surprise- although he was okay by Tuesday.
When my daughter was in kindergarten she was the same way…there wasn’t anything actually wrong it was just the fact she got used to not going and then when she had to go back she just didn’t want to and would give attitude or cry or try and lie and say she was sick… eventually she got out of it but sometimes she will have her moments
My son does something similar whenever he’s been out of school for a while. He’s been at the same school for almost 2yrs now and when we went back after winter break he cried & cried for the first couple of mornings. They get out of routine, get used to spending more time with you & it’s like starting all over again! Sorry he’ll feel better soon
If there’s no more to the story try taking him in only few mins before the bell goes . Works for me
I have a couple of kids, and sometimes it’s simply just that they dont want to go to school, it doesnt mean that there is obviously something going on. He may be bored, he may want to be home playing with toys because he doesnt want to learn his letters/numbers, he may just miss you. Kindergarten is a place where there is the highest level of separation anxiety. You know that his reason (teachers not being there) is not the truth, so just give it time, he will get back into the swing of the routine in a couple days, and stay strong.
Remember, a temper fit is not a panic attack. People go to the hospital for panic attacks because it causes physical pain similar to a heart attack. Crying before school is not the same.
Bedtime routine and maybe spend a few extra mins talking with him in the morning before drop off about having a good day and what to look forward too (gym, music, recess)
My opinion? Listen to your son. He’s only going to tell you things for so long and when he feels you aren’t listening, he’ll stop and choose to battle whatever it is on his own. I listened to my son and turns out, he was being bullied by students AND teachers. I put a stop to it and we switched schools for better education.
My daughter went through that same thing in first grade. Just out of nowhere BAM didnt want to go to school. There were a few mornings I had to put her on the bus crying and I felt terrible about it. She eventually got over it. This year shes doing much much better.
My son went through this too at that age. He would cry every morning morning when he got up and would cry when we would get the bus stop. I contacted his teachers and they would tell me he was a little sad in the morning but as the day progressed he would be fine. It would take about a week but after he got used to the old routine he’d go back to normal. Just keep a lot of positively! I would always say oh you have gym today or music that will be fun or your having subs for school that sounds good. I know it hurts to see him hurt but keep your emotions to yourself because he might feed off of them. It gets better as they get older.
Go spend the day at school with him sit back and watch
I would try different things and tell him you want him to feel comfortable and like school again. He needs to know you will listen to him. Maybe plan with one of his friends mom that you drop the boys off together. I can’t help but think a new kid or something changed.
Talk to the counselor and have her pull him in and have a one on one with him. I’m telling you, with boys sometimes the only way to get what’s going on out of them is to have an outside neutral person come in. They seem to have a tough time opening up emotionally at times.
It may be simply because he likes being home and having a long break makes him not want to go. Try getting him excited, have him lay out his clothes the night before, pack his bag together, fix lunch (if he takes one from home) and include a “special” snack. Tell him when you get home you can do… whatever it is he likes. When he gets home talk about all the fun things he did that day. Encourage him in every way possible. But stay firm that school is important and he has to go so he can learn and be super smart.
Or maybe someone has said or done something to hurt his feelings.
Have a conversation with him about how it’s ok to tell mom when something is wrong or if you’re sad. You want to help but you can’t if he won’t tell you what’s bothering him. Kids are sometimes scared to share things because they’re afraid they will be in trouble. Teachers say they don’t like tattle tales so kids stop tattling and then don’t tell when things are wrong. I have found this to be hard to explain to little kids.
If things don’t get better just drop by randomly and see how things are going, just be ware when he sees you he will want to leave so be prepared.
have you had the stranger danger or someone touching him talk? if there are no teachers there who is there to great him??
My youngest is in 2nd and reacts this way everytime there is a break and she has to go back. I go to the school and have lunch with her once a week to try and help her ease back into the structure.
Typically after a long break (christmas break) its very normal for kids to not want to go back to school because their whole routine and structure has changed.
It went from school everyday besides weekends to two weeks at home.
Its a hard adjustment at that age for them to regulate and get back on track.
My oldest is almost 6 (in 2 months) he didnt cry to go to school but he also had a very rough week at school + daycare. Today however after consequences he got yesterday for his behaviour and after talking to him he managed to change his whole day around today and ended the week on a positive note!
That being said obv their could be more to it for sure and it could be maybe hes just bored at school, maybe someone specific is picking on him or a teacher maybe giving a cold shoulder.
Open communication and lots of open ended questions are key and really good listening on your part.
My kid was being picked on for about 2 months and when he finally opened up and told me I calmly talked to him about it and we talked about both sides the kid who was being me but also choices he was making or choices he shouldnt. How to handle the situations etc. So far the last month we havent really had to many problems with this specific child.
Call the school guidance counselor
The break may have confused him or reminded him of being home with you all the time…
The only thing that helped with my girls, was making sure we kept them on schedule during break. Same bath, bed and reading time as well as waking them up early. It’s the time that causes problems with behavior
Whoop dat ass parents let kids run shit nowadays
Guidance counselor is a great place to start. If you can…a child therapist to help. It sounds like separation anxiety. My daughter suffered from that for a long time. Therapy helped, along with help from family and friends.
It’s pretty normal my littles did the same thing it was probably just the break it confuses them and then they wanna be home
Talk to counselor. Walk him into his actual teacher everyday so shes aware you care and will pay more attention to your child. Possibly homeschool.
He could be getting bullied , ask him if kids are picking on him
Someone is most like picking on the child but of course teachers will deny it and kids won’t speak on it cause they’re afraid of the bullies. Happened to my kid especially cause he was riding the school bus and two teachers on there and yet they let a fucking 12 yr old pick on my kid who was 5 at the time. School Denied everything until my kid started fighting back then they wanna sit there n say my kid was bullying yet it be the other kids starting shit n wanna cry like lil bitches when my boy start fighting back. Fuck that shit! Teach your kid to fight back or else the bullying will never stop! And teachers will never do a thing about it!
Ask who his best mate is and time your arrival with them so he has a pal to go in with.
Keep checking in with how he’s feeling and if it continues you could talk to the principal or counselor. I’d also check to see if the school has a before class program. My son’s (also 6 yrs and in K) school has the library open with games and activities for the kids to do before their classroom opens up. It’s nice because there’s an adult there, the library is a safe place and lots of kids participate.
I had a hard time with my middle child at that age anytime there was a break. It got so bad that we had to have the principal meet me at my vehicle and take him into the school. Yes he was screaming and crying but it’s just a stage they go through. Yes after about a week of it I’d get concerned, but then I found out that the principal would take him in his office and give him snacks and stuff to calm him down,he learned if he went into the school freely he didn’t get what he thought was VIP treatment. So then he started getting grounded for every time he acted foolish and he started learning to act better. They are young and it’s hard on them to get back in the swing of things,but you have to teach them how things are,not how they want it to be.
See if you can find out what the problem is first, but make him go eventually. I know all people are different but it started for me in kindergarten too, I just didnt want to go and my mom allowed me to stay home. I missed sooo much school through out my life and missed out on important things that you need to know.
Maybe hes scared to make some friends, I just couldnt click to anyone at my school even in kindergarten
Keep doing it everyday and he will get back into the swing of things. My son did the same thing always after a break but it stopped after a couple weeks
My son went thru the same situation. Texting me wanting me or his daddy to leave work & come pick him up. And the same thing only started after going back after winter break. He has panic attacks so I talked him thru it & talked to him when he got home & explained that I know it’s a big adjustment going back to school after having such a long break but he has to go regardless. He’s done much better. He’s working on his breathing techniques at school by himself. And we go walking after school to get all the frustrations out. Does it help? A little & that’s what counts. Little ones have such a hard time. And all we can do is talk then thru it BUT also make them realize they have to go. Hope everything works out with your little one. 
have you ever considered he may have a little bit of anxiety or social anxiety? i used to be this way as a child(honestly i am still this way), nothing in particular that didn’t make me wanna go. i just couldnt fathom going.
but i also agree with a lot of comments above. just wanted to throw that out there cause my parents never believed me as a kid. it was really frustrating
Somethings wrong! Follow your mommy/daddy instincts and somehow figure it out!! If you know it’s nothing Take the time to maybe walk him to him class so he feels better about it all being with you!
He could be getting picked on
I go through this everyday. Every. Single. Day. Since the first day of school and my son is 3. I need all the advice. Following …
if u suspect something happening at school maybe talk a bit about your expeiriance in school and watch his reactions he may also then feel he can speak up if u went through something similar kids forget sometimes we was kids once too xx
As an adult, I felt the same way when I worked outside the home and my vaca ended!
Sounds like early signs of anxiety. I did the same thing but I was always “sick” or had a stomach ache. Which, the stomach ache part was true but I was hardly ever sick as a child. However stomach aches/nausea/migraines can be a side effect of anxiety. Which I was diagnosed with anxiety induced migraines at 11. Maybe let him take a mental health day and have him talk with a counselor? It could help! Best of luck to you and your boy I hope things get better for you both!
I’m a K teacher and this sometimes happens after a long break. He’s used to sleeping in a little longer, free to play what he wants, eat when he wants (you get my point) and now it’s “back to the grindstone”. Since the teacher hasn’t noticed anything, I bet he’s fine at school - after he’s made you feel awful. I would be as positive as I could about school and see how he feels in a week or two when his schedule is back to normal. Keep in touch with his teacher. Try not to show that you’re sad or worried when you drop him off, be happy and positive. Maybe tell him he’ll get a special treat if he has a good day? Hope this helps!
Sounds like separation anxiety. My daughter did the same at that age also after a break. Took positive talk about school in the mornings and sadly forcing the going to school. Lasted about 2 weeks
I have a couple of kids, and sometimes it’s simply just that they dont want to go to school, it doesnt mean that there is obviously something going on. He may be bored, he may want to be home playing with toys because he doesnt want to learn his letters/numbers, he may just miss you. Kindergarten is a place where there is the highest level of separation anxiety. You know that his reason (teachers not being there) is not the truth, so just give it time, he will get back into the swing of the routine in a couple days, and stay strong.
Remember, a temper fit is not a panic attack. People go to the hospital for panic attacks because it causes physical pain similar to a heart attack. Crying before school is not the same.
My youngest with cry if I take him to school he will get on the bus fine after he got use to it of course he got use to it and stopped but as soon as I take him drop him off he will start crying even if I go for lunch or a class party he will want to leave with me and cry… he has always had a hard time separating from me when he started to go to prekindergarten he cried and even made his self throw up bc he was crying so much the doctor and everyone told me it was normal when he went to kindergarten he did the same when breaks was over when 3 days break he had some time to get back use to not being home with momma. If nothing is going on and I hope not do not give him what he wants trust me the teachers are use to him. I’ve talked to all of my kids teachers and told them I’m sorry and I didnt want to leave him crying and they all said trust us we are use to this and after you leave the calm down and is fine. I would just message the teacher each day and check on him. If you give him he will just keep doing it to get what he wants I understand if something is going on just talk to him maybe ask if someone is picking on him? Does he have friends? Is his teacher being mean? And so. It might come down to he does not like walking by his self my kids school would set up buddy’s like my middle she didnt want to eat in the morning at school but once she got a buddy to walk with her she was fine…
I would have to guess he is being bullied by someone. I unfortunately went through similar situation with both of my kids and it was because of bullying. Follow your gut… ask questions and watch and listen. Make sure the school is aware and just be there to support your love bug… NO CHILD DESERVES to be bullied and feel bad. Good luck mama… been there. Stand your ground when you finally determine what is going on. My town did NOTHING until I involved the police.
Probably just got used to the long break. He just had two weeks of a really loose schedule. Probably got to wake up when he wanted, eat what/when he wanted, play most of the day, watch TV etc. It’s always hard for kids to go back after summer or winter break. If you keep a similar schedule during breaks it will help them go back to school. If he’s still having issues in a few weeks, then I’d consider there being a problem at school, but if it’s only the first week or two and his teacher hasn’t noticed any issues, he’s probably just wanting to go home and “take it easy” again.
At this age, you have every right to spend a day with him. Is he in full or part time kindergarten? Offer to be a “home room mom” temporarily and spent a day or two a week at school to observe. My oldest is autistic, and I did that to understand. His issues were normal, but it helped to see I was comfortable there.
Don’t feed into him being upset. Talk about the fun parts of school, playing with friends, things like that.
Sit in on the class, you should be more than welcome to audit your sons class. Just talk with the teacher and counselor and get the ok.
Idk but I talked to school and they said all the kids had been off the charts this week
It maybe laziness! Have a work packet and schedule a study time for him for spring break!
I felt the same way going back Monday!
My son did this keep him going dont back down i swear he was veing bullied or something until he went to another school. Keep him going in the end you will get in trouble
You should ask to sit with him at school one day I did when my daughter did this and I found her clinging to me only as a certain student would come around she was getting bullied
My son is 5 and going through the same thing its really hard for some of them to go back. My son is mild autistic and adhd but hes been back a week and still its a fight every morning crying he doesnt want to go and also telling me things like kids dont have to learn adults do 
ahe says he doesnt like school ive had an issue since he was 3 in preschool bur we were fine up until the winter break