My 6-year-old nephew has been having accidents: Advice?

Anyway, I have my almost six-year-old nephew daily. His dad brings him to my house in the mornings, and I take him to school. I also pick him up from school. Almost always, after I pick him up from school, he poops himself. He holds it all day during school but messes his pants before we even get home. My sister, his mom, doesn’t see him very often. He primarily stays with his dad and me. I’m wondering if he’s having accidents because he’s upset that he doesn’t see him, mom…? I don’t know how to break him of this… help.


Sounds like that for sure could be an issue. Maybe talk to school and see if they can recommend someone he can talk with. <3

Check out encopresis. My son gets every year about the sane time.

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Or…he doesn’t feel comfortable going to the bathroom at school. They don’t get enough time. Had an issue with my nephew…the teacher didnt give them enough time. There was a line waiting to go.


I know this sounds crazy but I have a nephew that doesn’t feel comfortable doing his business only at home


His little body Proably cant hold it in any longer. Could you tale him to the restroom right away at school when u pick him up?


You can’t break him of this.

I don’t know if you want to try this but…have a chat with regarding this problem of HIS that you’d like to help him with. Ask him if he’d like some help solving his problem. Give him an opportunity to tell you what he thinks might solve it. If you have an SUV or minivan you could put a bucket lined with a contractors plastic bag and pack wipes. If he doesn’t think he can make it to the house, pull over and let him go in the bucket. Reward him every day he doesn’t go in his pants, with a bigger reward for making it a whole week. Have him help decide what the rewards are.


Yeah that’s what im thinking too he can’t go at school so he holds it all day,I think I would go to his class and get him and take him to the restroom before you leave


He poops his pants because he doesn’t want to go at school, maybe? Uncomfortable with public restrooms?


See if you can’t change his poop schedule. Perhaps in the morning when he is dropped off to you.

Some kids may not feel comfortable pooping at school. It could be a time thing with the teachers. Ask him as soon as you pick him up from school.

My 6 year old gets so involved in activities that he sometimes forgets to go too.

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Honestly, it sounds like he just doesn’t want to go at school, but can’t quite make it home after holding it in. I would say it has nothing to do with not seeing the mother if this is his regular routine between your house and his dad.

Try taking him to the doctor, there may be an issue with his intestines or something else.

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Yes most likely the case is because he misses his mom. Ive been having the same issue with my 4yr old because his baby brother just arrived. Patience and just a lot of encouragement.

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I would talk to his pedi. These accidents can come from many things. Also holding it in can be harmful


Could be just that he dont like going in public places… Take like 20 mon before he leaves the house to give him a chance.


My 7yo niece goes in her pants cause the flush sound is too loud for her, Idk if that’ll help

I agree with most of these comments! It’s easier to use a public bathroom when it’s just pee but, for some reason some people need more privacy and time when it comes to going #2.
And we ALL know how it feels like to hold it in, whether it be pee or poop, and getting close to home and the pressure intensifies to have to go lol. Poor kid. Have him try to use the bathroom when he wakes up. Even if he doesn’t feel like he needs to go, still have him sit on the toilet for a bit. Try it every morning to reset his bowel routine.


If it happens the same time everyday make sure he’s in the bathroom at that time.
Even if that means him using the school bathroom with you outside to stall.

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I’m a grown woman and won’t poo in public bathrooms, rarely even pee in them. It gives me anxiety bad! For one the cleanliness of them but also people hearing me go. Could be many things but some people are just embarrassed to poo in a public setting.

The dad needs tolet his son see his mom even if it is with u or someone but my son did same thing did not go no where but at home but your brother’s son using be in his pants maybe he can’t hold it no longer he’ll grow.out of it he is troubled my Goss poor thing doesn’t get to see his mama have patience talk to a doctor

Put a kids potty in your car that way if he has to go there is a potty and he has somewhere to go

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Does he go to school wearing Jean’s? My son would also have accidents cause he couldnt undo or do up his Jean’s at school so would try to wait. Does he know how to properly wipe? That could be it also if he doesn’t. I’d try takin him to bathroom before leaving the school maybe it will help u with the problem solving what’s goin on with him. Could be missing his mom or could be he just cant wear jeans yet

Make him use the bathroom before leaving school

I would try to get him to go :poop::toilet: before school and if it doesn’t work after 2 weeks, start putting his size Pampers on him.
Maybe he’ll be more embarrassed to wear Pampers and start going in the school restrooms.

Some people have a phobia of pooping in public. It might possibly be that. Also I have known some teachers to not let children take bathroom breaks. And some teachers might be too intimidating to ask if they can use the bathroom. Just some food for thought.

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First - Don’t start by blaming the mother
Second - Does he have accidents any other time? Have you talked to either parent about this? Have you talked to your nephew about this?

There are lots of reasons he may be having accidents. It can be a problem with his pants in school. Maybe he doesn’t have enough time to poop during the school-day. Maybe he doesn’t like to use the bathroom in public. Maybe he has a sensory processing disorder or some other reason that he’s not able to tell when he’s needing to poop until he does. You won’t know what the answer is until you start asking, and not random internet pages


Get him a therapist and also take a moment during pick up to put him on the toilet

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This can be a sign of sexual abuse.

I would talk to his Peds Dr.
If he’s holding it, is he scared it’ll hurt or is he unsure abt wiping?
My son wet the ebd and it was all psychological for him. (Boys can wet for medical reason into high school though. It’s actually normal).
Talk to his teacher as well. See what the bathroom policy is and see if you all can work out making sure he’s able to go and feels safe to do so :heart:

This is common for this age group. I wouldn’t worry to much. We just had the same thing happen with my grandson that we are raising. Thought it might have something to do with emotions. Some to his doctor and she said she sees this in this particular age group because of getting used to being on a different routine. Will pray all goes well

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Just start by asking him why he’s doing it… then go from there. It could be a quick easy fix… My son and my nephew did this as well… My nephew was 5 and my son was 6… They finally stopped doing it…but it would happen at least once a week for about a month or so…it’s like They didn’t want to stop doing what they’re doing (playing or using public restrooms ) to go to the bathroom…was my experience with it anyways 🤷

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Does he feel uncomfortable going at school… does he know how to wipe? Maybe if you did gentle reassurance that it’s healthy to use the bathroom when you get the urge and teach him… take him to the bathroom at school before you leave might help

It could be an anxiety thing. My fiance refuses to poop in a public restroom. Hes always been this way too.

Make him wash his drawers every single time he will stop. My son did it twice and quit after having to clean it up

I’d have my kid see a therapist and go to the doctor to rule out any medical issues. Do you ask him why he does this?

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I’m 40 years old and a mother of 3 and i will not poop in a public bathroom. Even peeing is an anxious time, poor little bug


When you pick him up after school , be there early and go inside at the office to pick him up . Take him to the bathroom before he leaves the school , and tell him to try to have a bowel movement. Make sure the bathroom is safe before he goes in and wait outside the door to Make sure he is safe and no one goes in the bathroom. I assume that he knows how to wipe and clean himself up. This might help him. There may be bullies at school , and he will not go in the bathrooms to be harmed by them.


Poor baby you know it’s garden on that little man take him to his dr don’t get mad at him please

He is probably scared to poop at school. My daughter wouldn’t cause the toilet seat was black. It scared her.


First I would talk with him. Is he afraid because he has to wipe himself or pooping in public? Does he have a medical condition? My 5 year old son has accidents alot because he has EOE, it is pretty much controlled by medication but now he is afraid to wipe himself. I would never shame or embarrass him.

Maybe he won’t poop at school …my boy 8 yrs …comes RUNNING home most after noons …he will NOT use the bathroom at school because other kids mess around in there …peel under stalls …plus he is embarrassed of the smell ( his poops stink) …so yeah my 2 cents :slight_smile:


He’s not getting enough “private time” in the bathroom after lunch!! Very common in brand new kindergarteners. Dad needs to talk to his teacher. If necessary, talk to his doctor and address it with a formal letter to the principal. Be sympathetic, he’s likely horribly embarrassed.

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Echo in the bathroom at school - some kids refuse to use the toilet due to the echo - it terrifies them… See if the school can play a radio in the bathrooms to cut that sound…

Talk to the teacher they may have automatically flushing stools that he may not like, the teacher can give him a Post it note to cover the sensor.

My grandson has this problem and he’s 12 he’s always had a problem using his clothes, we went to a specialist he was constipated and they put him on Merilax and was told it takes 3 months after they start the medicine before they can feel or gain control of their bowels. Y’all might want to see his doctor and talk to him about it.

it will go away start making him a time to be on the pot

talk to him and the school about how he feels about using the toilet at school, might be he feels uncomfortable using the toilet there or simply too busy enjoying his school day and holds it to the point where he just cant hold it anymore

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i think he misses his mum

Oh poor little chap. He sounds very sad and stressed :cry:

Ok so my boyfriend hates pooping anywhere but home n I don’t like using public bathrooms either. He’s just a kid maybe sit him down n ask him what’s going on. And if it continues might not hurt to go to the Dr I’m sure there is nothing wrong but maybe he is a private kid n need a him time in the bathroom after lunch or something

A lot of young children dont want to go at school so do hold it in until after, it might be as simple as he doesn’t want to do it there but then cant make it home. Have you asked him?

I have a day care for 20 years now, and NONE of my boys would poop at school… I still haven’t figured it out…

It could be that the child is not able to go at school. Does the bathroom smell? Is he given enough time to sit in the bathroom? Does the seat slide when he sits on it? Does the child feel uncomfortable in a public bathroom? Does he fear he cannot wipe himself properly? Many reasons are possible. You might start with taking him straight to the bathroom when school gets out and help him. Especially if this happens every time you pick him up.

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My kids are 8&10 they still won’t go #2 at school which I was the same way growing up. I would talk to the teacher to make sure he is getting enough time to go. Maybe take him to the bathroom there at the school when you pick him up for awhile it might make him feel more comfortable about going alone.

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Could you or his dad talk to his teacher- if possible have the teacher (very very quietly) encourage him to use the bathroom maybe 1-2xs a day. I know teachers are overwhelmed but my niece went through this when she first started school because she didn’t want to ask.


I think he probably needs counseling. When I was a child we took in 2 young girls in a emergency foster situation. Their Mom had died and the Dad wasn’t taking care of them. The youngest was about 5 yrs old and she had a problem with pooping in her pants.


My son used to wait for everyone to go to bed and then go… But he was having a constipation problem and only going every couple of days… But i would reassure him people go at school and work too not just at home and maybe call his pediatrician while hes at school or have dad call and see what maybe needs to be done

My son wouldn’t go #2 at school all year in kindergarten we had to get a dr note and have him go in the nurses office every afternoon until he went (she had a bathroom)

Hes afraid to go in school my son did this because hes doesn’t want people to help wipe him

Talk to his pediatrician (out of his ear shot). Could be physical but probably psychological. May need to see counselor. Right now, please don’t scold him or talk about it in front of him. Is he having issues with being bullied?

Eh. I’m what they call poop shy. And I can literally only poop at home. It doesn’t matter how many times I try, how long I sit there, I physically cannot go anywhere other than home :disappointed:

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Don’t worry. My grandson did the same. He will eventually stop. He might. Have a lot on his mind. Give him time.

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Take him to the restroom before leaving school. Encourage him to go if he wants an after school snack. Let him chose the snack.


Should probably have dad talk to his pediatrician first.

6 yr Olds are hard to talk to, but he’s a boy I’ve had 4 of those creatures lol if there is no violence or arguing going back and forth in doubt that is the problem and he’s just being a boy and will come around on his own time.

You got it! It has to do with him feeling abandoned by his mom. He needs attention. Therapy works. Lots of patience


My husband is 50 and still won’t go poop unless he’s at home

sometimes kids are scared to go to the bathroom at school I would talk to his teacher

If he is only doing this on school days, he might be embarrassed to go at school.

I used to make my daughter hand wash her undies when she had accidents, whether it was #1 or #2. It took about a week for her to stop.

She is 5


My twins did this in kindergarten, the pediatrician said it was because they were boys and pooping for them was just different than their sisters. Something about not realizing they needed to go until it was too late. By first grade they had it handled. Just had lots of extra clothes, wipes and patience.

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My sons and my grands don’t go unless absolunecessary they say they don’t want anyone to smell them

Maybe he is embarrassed to go at school. Tell him everyone does it at school,work etc…

Some people, honestly can only poop where they are comfortable (ie, home) but your body can only hold it so much

Talk to pediatrician my son had same problem they sent him to a specialist he now has no accidents at all could be medical

He may not be comfortable pooping at school. School bathrooms are not exactly private.


Following cause my 6 year old does the same but his twin sister doesn’t

He is afraid to use the restroom at school? Or someone bullies him in there?