I am at a total loss and I don’t know what to do at this point. My daughter that is 7 has gotten in trouble at school for hitting. It has happened 3 times this month. I don’t know what consequences to give that will make her realize what she is doing is not okay. My husband told me today that she doesn’t get tv or electronics for a week. That seems way to long to me but I don’t know what else to do. She has to clean up the yard from the dogs for her consequences for the last one. Any advice or experience of dealing with something like this would be greatly appreciated.
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Have you asked her why she is hitting , find out the reason .not that it’s ok , but maybe somebody is hitting her , you should listen to her side of what’s going on. She definitely needs consequences though.
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She definitely needs consequences or she’s going to think "oh I got away with it " and do it again. I think taking things away for an entire week or longer is valid. If you don’t, she’s going to think her behavior is okay, and continue to do it.
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Physical activity. When I was younger (around 12-13) and VERY disruptive in class I had to run 4 laps around my neighborhood (which was a pretty big neighborhood) if I stopped it was another lap added. It was honestly the worst lol BUT I never had a day like that at school again. I did also have my electronics taken away for the evening but the next day when my parents were told I was excellent in class I got them back.
Not saying she should run 4 laps around, especially at 7, but maybe 1-2 laps? Or wall sits? Or suicide sprints?
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At 7 she should have some understanding of why she’s hitting. Ask her. But she definitely needs consequences, you can’t physically touch another person and not “punish”. I don’t mean physical punishment. Taking away an activity she enjoys, her electronics etc., This is what is wrong with the world today. Parents are afraid to parent. Parents want their children to be their friends. No. Your their parent and if their behavior warrants a consequence you need to put one in place and follow through.
See if there’s a reason she’s hitting and get creating with punishments. Maybe may her wear thick mittens.
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Ask her why she hits, what does she say, is it the same people, or different, is she being teased or bullied…find the reason first before you punish.
I think a day or two is the most you should punish for a 7-year-old.
Remind her EVERY day of No hitting. Suggest high five. Take away privileges with an open ended time and let her EARN the privileges back. Try to work hand-in-hand with the school. Let them know what you’re doing at home and ask them to partner with you. Good luck! It’s not easy raising kids.
You need to ask her WHY and if she’s not giving you a reason with why you need to try harder to get it out of her. “Who did you hit? What were they doing before you hit them? Did that make you angry? If you weren’t angry why did you hit? We’re you trying to play by hitting?”
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Taking away devices and giving consequences doesn’t solve the problem as to WHY she is hitting people at school. Is she being verbally bullied? Has she been unlucky and been caught after someone hit her first? Until you find out the reason, you’re not going to give fair punishment or sanction. If she’s doing it for a laugh, then cleaning the yard or not being able to watch TV are fair punishments. I doubt this is the reason though. It rarely is. Also, how are the school managing it? How is it possible for her to be able to hit others and what sanctions are the school giving here? Something doesn’t make sense, and don’t ruin your relationship with your child by creating a sense of injustice. Talk to your kid!
My 4 year old had a few incidents like this. Each time he was grounded from ONLY electonics for 1 day. After the 3rd time we increased it to 4 days. He did it one more time and once again grounded 4 days. Never happened again. Everytime it happened I made him tell me everything that happened and had him tell me what were the red choices you made. What green choices should you make. The therapist at school told us grounding should be more then a day. Her rule of thumb was whatever their age that’s how many days max until they are teens. Worked for us. No more incidents
A week is decent considering her age and behaviour. She’s not going to change the behaviour for a day or 2 of losing electronics
It won’t kill her to be without electronics for a week
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