My son’s doctor just informed me he would need a helmet at eight months old. His ear is pushed very far forward on the one side along with a flat spot on the back of his one side. I feel absolutely terrible like it’s all my fault! I could have held him more or something! I’ve had super bad mom guilt, and since I’ve found out, I just keep holding him and crying. Stroking his little hair and head because I know it’s going to be so long Until I get to do that again. He goes Monday to get measured. I’m so worried he’s going to be uncomfortable and worried about just everything in general. I guess my question is, how did other Moms cope with the guilt? I know it’s not a big deal, and tons of babies need helmets, but I just feel so guilty! I’d also like to know some of your experiences if your baby has or has had a helmet. I’ve been reading a ton on Google, but I’d love to hear other mom’s experiences or maybe even some tips if you have any?
I never had that situation but go easy on yourself. It happens no matter how much you hold a baby. My nephew was always held and still needed one. He’s going to get his helmet and be just fine
My daughter never had a helmet but she was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was only two days old. At 12 days old they put her in a harness and she had to wear it for three months. I felt like it was all my fault. I was super active before and during my pregnancy and worked out moderately until month 9. The doctor said it has nothing to do with that and it’s just because her hips didn’t form in their sockets correctly. Deep down I still felt like it was my fault. And it broke my heart because she couldn’t wear so much of her cute baby clothes for the first three months. It was much harder for us as parents because we don’t want to see our babies like this. I didn’t want to see my baby stuck in a harness with legs bent like a frog and she could never take it off only one hour each day for baths. But time flys girl. And now her legs are stronger than ever. Just remember, your baby will have to go through this for a short time and soon it will be over and done with.
Has he been evaluated for Craniosynostosis? What you’re describing sounds so much like my sons condition. We had to push to get the Xrays, etc initially as they were just labeling “flat head”. I would be happy to discuss further and share photos via DM. Hang in there Momma… there are so many positives to it! Praying for you and your little!
My son had to wear a helmet, a lot of kids do. However, at 8 months I think it’s too late. The doctor should have said something before then. The skull begins to harden and take its permanent shape, and after that there is no correcting. I was informed a little late myself, I ended up switching my sons dr and the new one told me right away. He wore it about three months. He didn’t like it at first but in no time he was use to it. Just do what you can, don’t feel guilty.
Join Facebook support groups for babies and kids who need adaptive equipment
My son’s head was smashed in on one side when he was born. He wore a helmet for a few months and it never bothered him. He wore it all day, with a 30 minute break every day to wash the inside of the helmet. Every so often we went to the doctor to check his head and readjust the helmet. After a few months his head grew in properly and he was able to take off the helmet, good as new!
The helmet wasn’t bad, when my 3rd one need it he fussed a little for about 2 day but adapted quickly… worse was all the appointments to get it checked and adjusted as time progressed (place that we had to get it from was an hour and a half away) he never seemed to mind it much… worst part was when. He didn’t need it anymore because had gotten use to being able to fall and not hurt his head and hit toys against it to make noise… those first few falls you would swear he had life threatening injuries by the screaming when in fact it was a minor bump, same with the toys… he adjusted quickly tho
I would say stop feeling guilty as well. I know you probably do but you know baby since those things so if you feel guilty he might feel bad and he shouldn’t feel bad because it’s really nobody’s fault
I have a flat spot on my skull. Doesn’t effect anything
Honestly I don’t know how to handle the guilt even though my son had a helmet as well but to tell you it’s rather easy to handle once it’s on my son didn’t notice it and don’t freak about missing your cuddles the helmet comes off for a little everyday usually for bath time and some snuggles! And the time he must wear it passes quickly I barely remember my son’s time in his helmet
My friends baby just got a helmet! And HES SO CUTE!!! It aint no Thang really. Get the helmet and rock on with it. Its not a fulting thing when a baby needs a helmet some just need them when others dont
A lot of friends kids have had to wear them. Kids are super adaptable, and strongly influenced by your emotions.
So take a breath, trust yourself, there’s nothing you did, and remember it’s only temporary. Better to do it now then run into issues down the road.
You got this.
My son had to wear a helmet for a bit and it was cute. We decorated it and just made it fun… its ok mamma dont feel guilty about it. Lots of kids have to for flat spots
Be strong get some cool decal stickers to put on it. You got this!
My son also had a helmet, at about 2 months. it’s not your fault, very common with babies that sleep on their backs. A dozen of my friends kids have needed this as well. Now my son is 14 and I don’t think it’s noticeable to anyone but me. My girls didn’t have this asymmetry. You will get through this, it’s doable, I blamed myself for years, gets easier
We had to have one for the 1 year old. It was suggested by his Dr. He fall a lot. We got his from Walmart on line.
My cousin had to wear one for awhile when he was little, its okay. hes perfectly fine
Apparently it’s very common. Ive seen several people fundraising for their child to get one, because its in the thousands area. Most insurances dont cover much.
My baby had a helmet too, it was no big deal. He didn’t mind it at all the appointments are simple we can’t catch everything! Don’t feel bad. We had lots of fun decorating it!
My son has a helmet and he rocks it!! Its the cutest! Of course I would rather not have him in one but if they need it, they need it. And its most likely not because you didn’t hold him enough. My son had a tight neck muscle and just always favored one side. And when he finally got the helmet it didn’t even phase him. Slept through the night like always. There are also FB groups that u can join to hear stories and suggestions from parents who are going through the same thing. Don’t stress yourself out when there may not be a reason to.
My daughter wore a helmet and it was totally my fault. I held her so much on one side that it was flat. The helmet fixed it and she is 20 years old now. We joke that I loved her so much I never put her down. I felt guilt back then but she doesn’t even remember having it.
My 9.5 month old just got one on Tuesday! It’s an adjustment but in the end, they wouldn’t do it if it weren’t needed. There’s a 7 day transitional period before they wear them full time.
My son was fine with it after 2days. Its not your fault or nothing you could have prevented. They make custom helmets these days you can have it decorated nice and it will be off in no time
My 8month old is one. Has been since 6months. She’s adjusted fine, they get an hour a day without it. She has a flat spot but her head is rounding out nicely. Don’t feel guilty, I felt guilty for awhile because it’s my fault she has a flat spot but your getting it fixed so don’t beat yourself up. Everything will be fine.
I PROMISE it will be okay! Our little guy had one & I felt the same way, but he never noticed it & it went by so quickly with such good results! We had PT as well to help stretch his neck, as he had Torticollis as well which is often associated with Plagiocephaly. The helmet was also cute as a button, & him not being bothered by it helped ease our minds as well. It will be okay, mama!
We had a scare with our son when he was a newborn and thought that he might need one too. It will be much harder for you than for him; tiny people are so resilient and adaptable. It won’t be forever, and he will be out of it again before you know it. Mommy guilt is so hard, but you are not alone and it is not your fault!!
Very common. Grandson had to wear one. It won’t be anything that will matter in the future. We made his look like a football helmet.
My son wore a helmet and it worked wonders. Don’t fell guilty for this at all. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his head and body and the way he laid in the womb caused one side to be flat. He didn’t mind it after a few days and was well by his 1st birthday. We took his helmet and had it covered in camouflage and it was too cute. We kept his hair short when it was hot and cleaned the helmet in between his breaks with it. You got this, I thought it would be awful but it wasn’t.
My 4 month old is getting a helmet as well!!! I’m not looking forward to having her get used to it…it’s gonna be a pain but it needs to be done
Babys in helmets are the cutest thing EVER
Don’t feel guilty! It happens! My two year old had a helmet for 7 months when he was 8 months old. Yes. 7 months. It was ROUGH. His forehead was bossing out and one ear came forward. Beware, some insurances won’t cover it. We used aquaphor on the hot spots and gave him breaks as instructed.
My son had to wear one to correct his. The sooner you get it the more effective it will be cause after a certain age frame they don’t do any good after that
My boy had one. They’ll give you instructions on how to get him adjusted to it. They’re really light, and don’t impact them much. The part you’ll need to watch out for is dry skin, but baby powder on his head will help. And get a soft Toothbrush to wash the inside so dirt and skin and sweat don’t build up. It’s amazing how much impact it has.
Just found out the same thing TODAY i figured if its necessary its necessary
My daughter was born with torticollis and developed plagiocephaly because of it on the right side of her head. She got a helmet at 7 months old. I had a lot of guilt with her getting it, especially so late. I was so worried she would fight it and hate. It took only about a day to adjust and she was fine with it! No issues and it fixed her flat. We just followed the schedule given and let the helmet do it’s job.
My son is now 14. He had a helmet for awhile. I decorated it with cool stickers and changed them weekly. His first birthday he was in a helmet. He was fine - got over it immediately - kids at that age are so resilient. I debated getting one as he just had a slight flat spot in the back, but I thought - this is the only time I can do this for him, so I did it. And, you’ll get to take it off and hold him and rub is head! And - it’s really okay. You did nothing wrong. I remember thinking he was so easy - and my first was not - so, I let him sit and watch us in the bouncy chair or the floor - so, I get the guilt. But, he’ll be fine!
My son just actually got his helmet yesterday. I made myself sick. But then I thought “at least I’m going to do something about it” he hasn’t noticed and his attitude hasn’t changed. I think it makes him that much more adorable.
My son wore a helmet from 4 months to 6 months. He had a flat spot on the back of his head that caused his ears to push out and the bone above his ears pushed out too. The first day/night was rough for him, but after that it was no problem! The doctor said if we didn’t do it would have effected his appearance as he got older.
A lot of babies have flat spots on the back of their heads. Mostly due to sleeping on their backs to decrease chances of SIDS. My son had a flat spot due to sleeping on his back and could only lie on one side due to having a shunt to drain spinal fluid. He didn’t have a helmet and as he got older we changed his sleeping position from side to side. Don’t feel bad it’s nothing you have done.
My youngest had a doc band. He didn’t care for it at first. But a day or 2 in, and he didn’t care at all! It’s definitely harder on us moms then the kids. And it’ll be over before you know! Our time flew by! Just watch out for a head butt! I thought he broke my nose more then once!
I have twins. One had a “flat” head. We didn’t go the helmet route, BUT it’s not your fault! Some babies don’t have strong neck muscles. Mine is 11 and his flat spot is not visible. He has no disfigurement.
My son wore his for about 6 months I think in the middle of a Kentucky summer. He wore it 23 hrs a day. In the one hour off we washed his head and helmet. It gets pretty sweaty. But he’s 13 now and you can’t even tell. His forehead was pushed out pretty far. They get used to it pretty fast and you can decorate it cutely
Neither of my kids needed helmets so I’m no help there BUT as a fellow mother that is super hard on herself alllll the time. I feel like you need to hear that the fact that you are doing what is best for him and worrying this much means you are a wonderful mother, and that baby is loved fiercely which is the most important thing in my opinion. Keep your head up mama you got this!!!
Mom and physical therapist here… My age old saying- it is what it is and now you have to do the best thing for him- which means wearing the helmet as prescribed. He isn’t going to like it at first- but you HAVE to stick with it otherwise it will just prolong the process. And do everything you can to help him not favor that side anymore- toys and interactions on the otherside 80-90% of the time, hold him in other arm and lots of tummy time! I even put a rolled up washcloth beside one of my kid’s heads when asleep to prevent them from turning it and sleeping on that side the whole night
My daughter is turning 25 in January. She wore one when she was 8 months to about a year old. She never even fussed. It doesn’t hurt and it is what’s best for them. Please don’t feel guilt for this, be thankful you are getting the help needed now.
My Grandson needed a helmet. My Daughter and Son-in- law had the helmet “painted” . Graphics were a design that included “Back to the future” Characters and symbols. Each meaning something to them. I know not everyone can do this…but… it’s an option. The most important thing is to know… you’ve done nothing wrong…you didn’t create this. You are doing something positive and You are a Great parent. It goes quickly and the results are So Worth it!
My daughter used it for a few months and got used to it quickly. I just made sure to follow the therapist instructions to the T and the process was shorter than expected. Sometimes it hurts us more than them, but please do not feel guilty. It’s very common.
My daughter had a helmet for several months. It did not really seem to bother her at all. The only bad part was she’s a little daredevil and was a huge fit thrower. I was afraid she would give herself a head injury trying to throw a good fit when she got the helmet off.
My son had plagiosephaly (sp) and needed a helmet and therapy. It’s not too bad. He won’t wear it 24 hours a day so you will have plenty of time to love on him. My son was born with a tight muscle in his neck so his head stayed one way. After therapy and the helmet he was fine. The helmet didn’t even bother him and he looked super cute! Don’t worry momma. These things happen and just love on him.
Would you put braces on their teeth? Would you provide corrective shoes?
Good parents provide for their children! You’re doing an amazing job! Blessed if problems are corrective!
My son got his helmet about a month ago. Around 7 months. I felt the same when the Ped first mentioned it but then I saw how common it is!! Nothing to feel guilty about!! Some babies are just born with flat spots any other small quirks that need to be worked out. It’s so little if you put into perspective some of the things that can go wrong. Just go with the flow!! My son luckily adjusted so well and we’ve seen so much improvement in less than a month he’s been wearing it!! You don’t realize how easily they adjust to things. They’re so young it really doesn’t phase them. Do it now while you can!! We didn’t want to regret it years down the road thinking we could’ve fixed the flatness and didn’t. We’re very happy with our decision and I’m sure you will be too!! Don’t stress it. Before you know it it will be part of his normal routine and you will adjust to it just as he does!! Best of luck!
My son had clubbed foot when he was born. Not the same thing as a helmet. But my new born baby had to wear casts then braces. It was so hard. I felt so guilty. Like you said about the helments I knew many kids were going through the same thing as him. But I felt so bad for him. Fast forward a few years I released it wasn’t as bad as it felt at the time. I also remembered that he needed this so I had to stay strong for him. I know it’s hard seeing our babies in away we didn’t imagine. But it will be ok! It gets better and you feel so accomplished once it’s “fixed”. Hope this helps a bit!
My son (he’s a twin) had a flat side on his head due to being inside the womb. He was 3 months old when he was finally able to wear the helmet. He favored the spot so I always nursed him on opposite side. The actual helmet never seemed to bother him unless it was hot. So keep that clean!
Make sure to wipe helmet daily on the inside cause they start smelling from sweat…my grandson didnt even realize he had it on…dont shy away from pictures with the helmet on it is part of life and do not be feel guilty…
My almost 10 year old wore a helmet from 4 months -6 months and he aclimated quickly. In the grand scheme of things it was a tiny blip in his life. Don’t beat your self up. He is going to get through it just fine.
God love you. Don’t feel too guilty. Pointless telling you anything else because you’re a mother and you will feel guilty. He will be fine wearing it and grow healthy strong and handsome. You’re doing a great job
This is happening more these days because of the back to sleep initiative. When they slept on their bellies the back of their head didnt get flat.
He will be fine. They really don’t mind after a couple of days. He won’t have to wear it for long. And they do work.
My grand baby has to wear one he is 7 and half months old now his mom taked it off sometimes for about an hr but its light he got it at 6 months old he is doing great
My son had one too. It made a huge difference. No reason to feel guilty!
My daughter had to wear a helmet for 1 year after having surgery to correct her craniosynstenosis (sp?).
I’m not sure what’s worse a harness or a helmet? At least a helmet he can move…
As a mother we almost always blame ourselves. But it is not your fault
My friend’s baby had to wear a helmet and they had stickers made that made it look like a watermelon. It was darling. Makin’ the best out of the situation with a little humor
Babies are very resilient little things, the world is brand new to him, it will take a few times to get him used to it but hel soon forget it and be off doing everything else possible
Both of my kids had flat spots on their heads as babies and never needed helmets so I guess it depends on doctor and how bad
I no help in this situation, but I’m wondering why the flat head and I’ve never heard of ears being forward?
Don’t feel guilty, now you can help him with the helmet! We decorated our Sons and made it look “cool”
Is the helmet needed due to a health issue or did your child spend an excessive amount of time in crib or car seat?
I was hoing to post a picture but i dont have mons permission yet so ill just say that my friends 10 month old baby has the same exact issue you naned. She favirs one side no matter if you are holding her or not. Shes been in the helmet for about 6 weeks now and OH MY GOD the differnce is amazing!! She doesnt seem bothered at all when shes wearing it just make sure to pay close attention to pressure points.
My son’s doctor said he needed one because of how much he banged his head on stuff and hurt himself. His head was like too big and heavy for his own body. It’s just something you have to do. I had children’s services in my life because he hit his head so many times they thought it was possibly shaken baby syndrome and trust me, that NEVER happened to him. He was literally doing it to himself. Luckily, he did it in front of the doctor AND then the social worker too thank god, so the suspicion of me ended. It was a terrible time in my life.
What is the helmet for?
My friends son had it done and only needed it for a few months
My little guy spent 2 months in the NICU and while they worried about saving his life and keeping him healthy, his head shape was the last of their concerns. The whole process isn’t usually more than about 3-6 months and you will have plenty of helmet free time to kiss his head and feel his hair! Give yourself some credit, you’re worried about your baby so that is enough to show how much you care!
First of all, you are not a bad mother! Please don’t feel guilty at all. There are many causes for this to occur. My grandson was fitted for a helmet around 8 months of age. He was born with a misshapen head and suffered from numerous ear infections. It had nothing to do with not being held enough. He adjusted to wearing it so well and It didn’t seem to bother him at all from the very first day! He had to wear it 23 hours a day. It was the best thing for him. It is actually more common than you might think. Watch for pressure points, red spots on his head. and if you notice them call the doctor and they can make the necessary adjustments. It was definitely in his best interest to do this. Without wearing the helmet it could have led to serious issues down the line. Be thankful your doctor is recommending this. Stay strong! You got this!! Here is a picture of him wearing the helmet and a present day pic.
We also had to have it and it was the best decision ever.
After two days he used to helmet and was fine. After 5 months he’s head was almost perfect shape. Now he don’t even remember it
Don’t feel guilty at all! It happens. Just make sure you’re treating any underlying condition, if applicable, as well. My son has torticollis and has since birth. Even with PT he still developed a flat spot on his right side and it started pushing the whole right side of his forehead out, too. He got his helmet a little before 6 months. Je was in the severe range for plagiocephaly. We’re 3 weeks in and already making progress!
My son who is now 6 had a helmet for about 5 months. He got it around the age of 5mo. It wasnt bad honestly. My son had needed it because in utero he ended up not being able to turn his head fully to one side and it was kinda stuck. He need PT and then a helmet. His ears were quite crooked and he looked a bit odd beforehand. Now he does have a small spot on his forehead that stick out a bit, but you cant really notice it. Oh also will say some children have issues with a type of allergy with the foam used inside helmets and might have some pretty gnarly red spots from it. The dr just suggest airing it out for a few days. Oh… and boy do those helmets get stinky. Picture of my boy now.
My daughter had a helmet when she was under 1 and I experienced the exact same guilt. I didn’t know I have a misshapen uterus and she was stuck on the left side of it unable to move much. She ended up with the inability to turn her head to the right because the muscle was so tight and that same muscle was flattening her skull. I so felt it was my fault she had to have physical therapy, had delayed mobility, couldn’t crawl until she was 1 and walk until she was 18 months. It was so horrible to see her in that helmet, thinking she was so uncomfortable and it was all my doing. But she wasn’t uncomfortable, her head is perfect and she’s now a thriving 13 year old. Just know that, even if you think you caused these problems, you are fighting now to correct them. And best of all, they don’t remember a thing about it.
My daughter wore a helmet. My daughter stayed in one position when she was born she had a flat spot on her head. Pros it protected her from many falls. We decorated it with stickers and made it look as nice as possible. I have enclosed some pictures. We did not mind it and it did not bother my daughter at all.
He will be fine my Grandson wore his like a champ all summer sweating on vacation he did just fine. Get him a cool one and you can put stickers on it
We live in Florida and it’s super hot all the time. My son never complained. Just make sure to clean with alcohol!
No guilt it’s not your fault my son didn’t do the helmet well
Don’t stress it my little guy has had one since 6 months, and in 2 months it’s corrected well over a centimeter! Stay strong…
Mine wore his for 9 months
Before the helmet
My son was born at 23 weeks and was 20 ozs when he was born. He started falling a lot when he started walking and it was decided to put him in a helmet to protect his little head from all those nasty falls. I cried and cried and cried some more. I already had horrible guilt my own body did all this to him and now he had to go through even more. But our babies feel that stress and they know mommy isn’t feeling right because of it. Just breath and remember not everything is our fault. Sometimes things just are because they are. My son had his for about a year, started walking a lot better and then they let him do without it. It’ll be okay. Little ones are amazing at adapting. Much, much better than us anyways. My son seen a picture the other day of him in his helmet and he asked “is that me?” He doesn’t even remember it. Good luck! This momma understands completly and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Oh and you got this!
Not having the helmet will be a bigger problem. I had a friend who’s baby soft spot closed to early. The doctors treated the mom horribly. They ended up having to do major brain surgery to save the kids life. All because the doctor decided not to do the helmet. Be grateful they caught it and put the helmet on
My youngest wore one for a few months, make sure you clean it everyday with rubbing alcohol or else it will stink( especially if your baby is a sweater like mine was) it took him a few days to get used to sleeping with it but after that it wasn’t a problem. We let our oldest decorate it with stickers to make it look fun
The worst part was the ignorant questions and comments from ADULTS who think helmets mean retarded. It didn’t bother her to wear it, she wasn’t a year old yet and I knew the reason she was wearing it, to shape her head. If you choose to do nothing, that would make you a ‘not so nice’ parent. You have to do what is best for your child. They gave us a photo shoot when she got her helmet. She is a teenager now and her photo is still displayed on the website and in the office.
It is not your fault Mama! My baby had to get one from laying in the tummy a certain way and favoring that side when she came out. She was rarely laid down (she’s the baby after having a 13 and 10 year old so she is VERY spoiled with being held) and STILL needed the helmet! It is very possibly that your baby may have needed the helmet regardless of how much you held him! They adjust to them much easier than you’d think!
Sherry B Burrs I saw this and thought maybe you could help since Jordan Burrs wore one when she was little too!!
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My nephew is getting one, Molly French
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My daughter had to have a surgery at 5 months and then she got a full enclosed helmet. It’s hard at first but once they start wearing it full time it’s fine. She has the best balance for a 2 yr and walks way better than most kids her age. You’ll be fine momma it’s not your fault. It’s something that just happens more common than not now days. Hang in there
My son needed a helmet and it was not as bad of a process as I thought it would be. He didn’t mind wearing it and the only thing you need to watch is their body temp. Clean it out daily for sure with alcohol wipes! Definitely nothing to be guilty of or scared of at all
Im sorry to hear about your son, but I wanted to let you know that more than likely the helmet will be coming from my sister, she works for the company that makes them
So I understand what you are feeling and i wish you the very best for your son and family🙏