My 8 year old daughter gives me such a hard time when it comes to showering and brushing her teeth before bed. She will tell me to hold on at first and then continue doing whatever it is she is doing. After a moment, I will tell her to come on let’s go now. She will stall again and say hold on. I tell her no, let’s go now or I’m taking something away. Usually her game time or TV time for a week. After still not listening to me she will call me a meany and then tell me she isn’t brushing her teeth at all now. She’s done this for the longest time. She is too big for me to drag in there. It still gets done after we argue for an hour about it every night but what else can I do? The showering I have tried different times of the day as a routine to see if anything worked better and no it’s all the same thing no matter what time. She’s fine brushing in the morning but at night it’s mostly always a problem. I’ve explained why it’s important we do these things. I’m at a loss and I have no other behavioral/attitude problems with her. Does anyone else have this problem?
Take a shower with her and brush your teeth with her
I had a similar issue with my daughter. I changed the way I asked her.
Instead of asking her on my terms, (ie, I want you to have a shower now or it’s time to have a shower) I said, “Hey, you need to shower, what time suits you to have one?.” Then she gives me a time, which gives her control of her life choices. I then ask, “Would you like me to remind you beforehand or can you do that yourself?.”
Since doing this, she takes responsibility for herself and we’re no longer making the situation stressful. 
My 8 year old daughter is like this!! I highly suspect adhd & have no idea if it’s related but I feel your struggle!
I also have an 8 year old and when I tell her she needs to take a shower and she always tell me she doesn’t want to… that’s when I tell her that was not a question and that she has 5minutes to get in the shower and then after that she can do whatever she needs to do… I know this might sound horrible but for me is when she tell me she is hungry I will tell her to go take a shower while I get dinner ready or she can eat whenever she gets out of the shower if the first part doesn’t work out for you. I have try over and over the gentle parenting but for some kids it just doesn’t work and just to make sure I am not talking about abuse lol but we have to have a firm tone. make sure you are telling her that she needs to take a shower and there is no other option.
Buy her a Bluetooth speaker and let her listen to music well she’s in the shower
I stopped arguing with my son over things that have to be done. I simply say go run laps until you’re ready to do it then. Or ok if you don’t want to do it you can do jumping jacks and then still go do it. It needs to be done and it will be done. One way or another.
Everyone is saying ADHD…but I am an adult and I HAVE to shower every night or I can’t sleep.
Set an alarm for a 10 minute “reminder” then another alarm when it’s time? Same time every night? Special activity or show after those are done?
All kids go through this At least for a couple of years
I have no advice… I spent all of my years. I’m 47 and still struggling
That’s strange because when my kids were 8 yrs old I don’t have to tell them to take a shower or brush thier teeth.
If she is fine to brush her teeth in the morning, it isnt an aversion to it. It is behavior. If she tells you that bc you made her mad, she isnt going to brush them at all now then she is controlling you and the situation. That shouldnt be an option. If she doesnt do it, take away wifi, devices, toys, etc until she complies with your request. If you dont get a handle on this now, you will be lost when she is a teenager. It sounds like there is a respect issue. My kids may joke and tell me no but they do what I am asking because I am the parent and have established that role.
Try getting her up earlier in the morning to shower.