My 8 year old has been fighting us at bedtime: Thoughts?

My eight-year-old daughter, all of a sudden, is fighting us hard at bedtime. She has been going to bed by herself for years. (I tuck her in, and she goes to sleep within half hour-hour) Lately, she will not go to sleep, up every 5 minutes saying she can’t sleep, or every other excuse in the book. I stop letting her watch tv or any screen time whatsoever an hour before bed. Short of looking into melatonin for her, what can I do? I have tried every approach I can think of, and nothing is working. I have a newborn, so I am simply not able to sit with her in her room until she goes to sleep. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated


Probably why she’s doing it. Maybe let her stay up a little later once baby is sleeping go and read a book have one on one she probably feels left out


She’s probably feeling a little left out and wants some more one on one time with you. Maybe ask your partner to watch the the baby while you spend sometime with her before you tuck her in.


We had to cut out al electronics in the evening. An hour before didn’t work. And then I started reading a book. And laying with her for aprox 3-5 min. Just mommy and daughter time.

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I went through this. Its definitely the one on one time.

All of what everyone else said but my thought is that she could be having some really terrible dreams or unsettled thoughts that are causing some anxiety, etc., etc., as well. Additionally, adding a half a cup or two of Epsom salt + baking soda to her bath or a foot soak could really help her sleep. A back rub. I would also reintroduce a new sleep routine. Having a new baby can throw everyone off.

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Melatonin works wonders

Is your newborn in your room with you? It could be a jealousy thing if you have your newborn in your room and not her. Others have offered great advice, so I’ll just add that I know this is the last thing you want to think of, but please make sure she isn’t being touched inappropriately. Someone, whoever lives with you, could be sneaking in her room at night. This of course isn’t the only thing that could be causing it, but it’s something you should triple check isn’t happening, no matter how much you trust those that live with you.


With the newborn being in the house now. It is a big change and your 8 yr old wants your attention more. See how she feels about everything going on. I tell my oldest to write everything down just in case I can’t be with her at that moment and than we talk about it. Got her a journal and that is where all is kept. Your daughter probably has lots of emotions and feeling a going on.

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Yeah, she needs you Mumma xx

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Let her read in bed for an hour max.
She should tire out

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Well, mama maybe you should bring baby in sisters room and hang out with sister til she falls asleep. Sometimes kids just feel left out, while I’m sure that’s not the case, she may still feel like it, especially if she was an only child for 6-7 years


Please don’t give her melatonin, unless instructed by her doctor, help her find her sleeping routine. Melatonin will mess up her sleeping abilities later on


Talk to her de. Could be anxiety. Or that she wants time with you, feels displaced because of baby.

With all the covid stuff going on and the weather being icky too it’s been hard for kids to burn off that extra energy. Try to find stuff she can do to let it out. Even if it’s just a mini trampoline in her room or something. Alot if parents are going through it right now. Look into foods that help aid sleep. Bananas are one that’s quick and easy. Good luck mama!

Taking melatonin can mess with your body’s ability to produce it. I would try a diffuser with lavender or cedarwood. She’s probably having some new baby envy. Maybe making some special mommy and me time while baby is sleeping may help with this.

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Push bedtime back 30mins


Wow it must be an 8 year old thing. My son just turned 8 but the last couple months he’s been doing the same thing

Maybe it as to do with the newborn. Can dad help out

She is wanting time with you(your newborn has invaded her life and distracted you). Could you try a bedtime routine that might include some chamomile tea and a quiet talk, to help her to unwind, without your newborn?

Could be jealousy of the new baby. Include her with caring for the little one. Make sure you are spending 1 on 1 time with her everyday, without baby. If she still cant sleep let her read until she is sleepy. I dont recommend melatonin.

Book an a flashlight . :flashlight:

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I would find out what she may have experienced lately. Something she might not know how to talk to you about

I was told by my Children’s Doctor melatonin was great ! And it was until I spoke with a pharmacist and found out all the the bad side affect . You are Mom so ultimately you make the decision but speak to a Doctor AND Pharmacist first

Have you asked her why she is uncomfortable in her bed? Or why she doesn’t want to sleep?
If it is the new baby maybe you can read to both of them before her bed time?

Sounds like the newborn is an issue for her. She no longer gets all the attention and may need reassurance that she is loved as much as the new baby. Remind her that she was a newborn at one time also. Hope this helps

It sounds like she may be regressing due to the newborn being around. Try to reassure her that she’s still your baby too and give her a little extra love here and there.

You can offer her a banana before bedtime. It helps promoted melatonin naturally in your body which sometime lacks.