My 8-year-old has been having major meltdowns: Advice?

I was wondering if you could post this for me because I really need help and I don’t know what to do… So lately my almost 8yr old has been acting out really badly, She is freaking out over nothing at all, and we don’t know what to do… We have taken everything from her, but she still doesn’t want to listen, and she still screams at us, and I am at my wit’s end!!! I don’t know what to do for her… I think she may be bipolar because of the mood swings plus her sperm donor has bipolar one minute she’s sweet and apologizing for being mean and telling us she loves us and then she starts screaming and freaking out again and saying she hates us, I really need HELP!!!


Is she starting puberty? That sounds like tweenager to me. My girls both did it.


Hope she isn’t being sexually abused

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Sounds like puberty…


The act/react the way they are treated do you freak out on her?
Seek counseling it’s a pretty normal thing that can be done during school hours.

Take her to her PCP, have them evaluate her. There are child psychologists/counselors and having her see one now is your number one way to check and see if it’s biological or learned behavior.

Know that they won’t diagnose an 8 year old with bipolar. Have you guys tried multiple types of discipline techniques? Has she seen a counselor before? These are things they’re probably going to want to try before going further but since you’re at the end of your rope, getting outside help is a great option for your family.

I have worked in residential homes for children and adults with disabilities (including severe behavioral challenges) and my own daughter has some pretty severe mental health diagnoses/concerns, so feel free to reach out via PM if you want.

Lots of love to your family, because it’s tough!

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Get her tested for bipolar. Don’t just assume she has bipolar. Not only that, it will help you knowing wether or not she has it so you know what steps to take. It would also help her being on medication and knowing what she is feeling.


Go to a family counselor, I had to with my oldest. I’m bipolar and she was eventually diagnosed with borderline at that age. Even if it’s just onset puberty, sometimes we all need some help! Hang in there!!! You aren’t alone, mine was getting kicked off the bus, was fighting with kids, disrespecting every adult. I know what you’re going through!!! Family counseling did help a lot!!!

There isn’t enough info in this to understand why she’s acting out and what has been done with any type of professional help to advise

Take her to pediatrician who specialise in child behaviour. Does she have anxiety or autism or adhd they are the best to diagnose

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Family counseling first and then go from there.

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I would get her to a psychiatrist and maybe therapist? Mental illness is hard on kiddos too. My daughter just turned 9 and its tough. She has DMDD and depression and anxiety on top of all of her physical medical things.

My son is almost 8 and has been acting out and freaking out and not listening lately too. He plainly told me, I just dont want to listen to you because what you are telling me to do is boring. Like wtf. Lol
Maybe I dont “want” to get you christmas presents. But all seriousness, hopefully it will pass. No advice here waiting for it to pass myself. Good luck!

Counseling asap also good hard mannual labor she will be to tired to smart mouth or yell my son almost fell asleep standing up

Super rare for a kid that young to be bipolar. It is a serious issue that requires a professional. Do not assume.

What is she eating ?? Sometimes it can be a reaction to a I ingredient in food . Just one aspect to look into .

My daughter was like that for years. Finally diagnosed after she almost got kicked out of school in 4th grade.
Severe ADHD, meds improved her behavior dramatically.

My daughter is the same and she is 10. She has been through 3 therapists in 3 years with no improvement. It’s really exhausting and frustrating. I dont have any insight just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

Hormones and puberty she will eventually grow out of it its hard mama but you will be fine.

My two year old is like this they reccomended behavioral classes

Get her a full psychoeducational evaluation done. The sooner the better. It could be anything.

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I would agree with you about the bipolar our 7 year old was just given that dx.

My daughter has sensory issues and may melt down over anything or nothing at all. She may need examination by an occupational therapist and/or a psychiatrist. Your pediatrician can refer you to a good one.

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Dr. First. Psychiatrist. Therapy

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Please educate on bipolar and childhood bipolar disorders. It is not “to be okay one minute and freak out the next” there are dips and valleys and noticeable time between these cycles. :heart: good luck to you guys, hopefully this phase passes quickly for yall!!


My suggestion is a trip to the woodshed


My granddaughter did the same thing. Actting out, apologies, screaming , etc… . I thought it was hormones. But the older she got the worst it got. Until she starting cutting herself. First little cuts , then deeper bigger wounds. Everytime I took her to get stitches, they kept her on a 24 hour hold. Then they would just send her home. I finally found a Therapist that my granddaughter agreed to see. Consuling and meds worked. We havent had an episode in over 3 years. I mean she still slams doors and screams about things at times but I dont have to go through the house hiding razors, knives and scissors anymore. She is bipolar! Take her to a professional now dont wait!

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That is not bipolar. She would not be showing any signs of bipolar yet. You cannot diagnose bipolar on actions alone. There is a VERY long test you have to take to be diagnosed i would know, i have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type (which is basically bipolar and schizophrenia?

So I’m not a specialist by any mean but if I remember right from college psychology classes, signs of bipolar disorder would not show until puberty. As a parent of a child around your child’s age and a teacher (and student) of a program called Parenting Connections, I suggest looking at how you yourself communicate with her. Are you present and available? Do you blow up at her when she isn’t listening or behaving the way you want? Do you hear yourself in the words she is choosing during these blow ups? Do you yourself adapt a whining, bitchy tone when dealing with her? Does she have problems in school or is this something she reserves for you? (Remember you are her safe place and kids will act out when they feel safest.) The hot and cold (loving and mean) that you’re describing makes me thing that she is begging for attention whether good or bad. She also may not feel equipped to tell you what she feels, needs, or wants. “Mom, please put down your phone and just listen to me without trying to fix my problem,” is really hard for them to say but what most children that age are wanting to say.


She may be angry, confused, etc and is trying to cope and is coming out in a negative way. Maybe she was hurt emotionally or physically to no knowledge of her parents. For the love of GOD, she is 8! Something is up… prayers to you, sweetheart


Everyone is so quick to put a “ bipolar” label onto behavior problems. I was diagnosed with bipolar (approx 10 yrs ago?) after speaking with a Dr for all of 10 minutes.WRONG! I went and spoke with a psychiatrist and explained my position to him. LISTEN, PEOPLE! There is a test ( written ) that must be taken in order to be properly diagnosed. In fact, I kept my test to use as proof of need be❤️The meds that one is put on is no joke! Good luck to you

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My first suggestion would be to take her to the doctor to rule out anything physical. My next suggestion is take her to a psychiatrist.


what they both said with the woodshed being the first option


Before you do any of the doctor stuff may I suggest being a little old-fashioned and just smacking her?

I would go to psychologist first, get the appropriate testing first. Psychiatrist usually will spend less than 10 minutes talking to you and give you a diagnosis so they can prescribe meds.

Talk to your family doctor. She could be hormonally unbalanced due to early puberty. She could be bipolar if so the earlier you get her med regime down and her counseling started the better. Or she could just be acting out for attention. The sooner you talk to people who actually know what they are doing RT he better for your family.

She needs to see a specialist right away

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Just love my friend, at the end of the day an 8 year old girl, what do you do, you can’t beat thiar ass without social service, just hang on and she will learn, it will only be a memory away…:green_heart:

Take her to the dr. Then if nothing wrong with her give her a good butt whooping next time she does it. Kids act out a lot because they get away with it. Too many times these days kids are labeled when all it really is is that they need discipline. She should not be allowed to scream and freak out at you ever.

Is something going on at school?

Light Fighting Darkness

And also it’s so easy for a Parent now days to say it’s medical or Mental then to admire it’s A bad Child

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It could be hormonal. Some girls get their cycles early. Encourage her to journal and talk about how and what she is feeling.

Take her to the doctor, could be hormones. Girls do start cycles at a young age sometimes.

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What is her diet like? Is she getting enough trace minerals? Iodine and magnesium? My son had crazy outbursts until I started supplementing him

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It sounds like there may be an underlying issue, have you talked with her about what’s going on at school? Talked with her teachers? Other adults she may come in contact with? Maybe have her meet with a councilor. Her brain isn’t developed yet, I wouldn’t be jumping to a diagnosis regardless of genetic history.

A lot of times they don’t want to diagnose bipolar so young because it comes with stigma. Probably wise, it does. My son is bipolar and for 18 years we did everything, we medicated, we had counseling, you name it, and in the end I can say nothing helped and in fact I think medication took away the brains ability to at least try and put up a fight.

Extreme highs and lows along with very impulsive behaviors are a big indicator she’s bipolar but not a diagnosis. Patience, time, and very meticulous schedules do help. Charts and reward systems are very effective most of the time. Lastly, if you can avoid medication in my strong opinion, I would.


My best advice to you is to take her to a psychiatrist if you believe she has a disorder. Her brain is still developing and bipolar disorder is a very serious illness. There may be an underlying issue that’s causing her to lash out like this. Communication is key with any relationship and it may be helpful to take her to seek help so that you can also find out how to discipline her appropriately. She may be completely unaware of her mood swings so diciplinging her by taking everything away from her may be making it worse. She might not be able to help it and with how underdeveloped her brain is pushing her long term like by taking away her toys or things that may bring her joy and comfort may be hurting more then helping.
Raising a child with a mental illness isnt easy and you cant always do the same things you would with a child without illness. I wouldn’t label her as anything without a professional diagnosis. The best first step is to see if anything’s wrong neurologically then from there learn how to communicate and discipline appropriately.

U say you took everything away from her
Wat the bank card and keys
To the car
I hear what you saying but to me if I took anything from a child that would be punishing the child for something you may have caused her to be on a rollercoaster

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If you think she may have bipolar disorder the best advice I can give you is to go to a specialist. They will be able to guide you to a proper evaluation…and then from there lead you to what she needs. If it is out of her control, then try to remain as patient and loving as possible during the evaluation process. Good luck :two_hearts:


Has she been anywhere or around anyone new lately? It’s kinda personal but thought I’d share just in case. We recently just found why my teen has been acting out/mood disorders for years. It took seven years for her to say something…happened. :(. Her therapist said it’s normal for them to not say anything. Especially to the parents because in their little mind, they are afraid they will disappoint us. :(. Hope that’s not the case.

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Mine does this and they they diagnosed her with Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) is a mental disorder in children and adolescents characterized by a persistently irritable or angry mood and frequent temper outbursts that are disproportionate to the situation and significantly more severe than the typical reaction of same-aged peers.
Wikipedia › wiki › Disruptive_moo…
Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder - Wikipedia

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Sounds like my grandson

Have you tried taring her ass up

It’s called a good ass whooping

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Maybe there’s an under lying cause to her melt downs. I’d try to sit her don Nd talk to her like a human being. Or take her and see a specialist