My eight-year-old son is having some behavior issues…and I feel like it’s getting worse. He is an awesome student…very smart and one of the top students in his class. He has a very big heart and loves helping others. But he has a bad temper…and when he’s mad…he doesn’t care about nothing or no one. He will lie right to our face even if we saw him do it. He talks back n is very rude. He got banned from playing with some of his friends cuz he’s mean n bossy…especially if things don’t go his way. You would think by this behavior that I’m a shitty mom and don’t discipline my son. But this is not the case AT ALL!! I’m a very strict mom with rules. Always have been. I have grounded him… He took things away from him…made him write apologetic letters. And even spanked him. Yes…I do spank…not beat my kids. I’ve tried talking to him. And it seems like nothing is working. I love him dearly n I make sure he knows it. I’m just worried that he’ll never grow out of it n becomes an angry teenager or man.
My daughter is 8 and was like that too , it took a lot of time and groundings and loosing out on things. Finally after not giving her attention when she had a freak out and just ignoring her bad behaviour she wasn’t getting the reaction she was excepting and grew out of it. Hope it gets better mama xo
Try therapy something is making him have anger issues that he seems to not care to try to control. Sometimes just talking to someone else helps.
Maybe therapy might help. Might grow out of it. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. It’s just the younger generation
Sounds like mine. Great kid with a horrible and stubborn attitude. My mom(very wise woman who raised two already) said it’s hormones. They are changing and so are their minds. It’s very difficult but it’s part of them growing up. He’s broken my heart a few times with some of the things he does. Hang in there momma.
It sounds like a phase all kids go through.
This is my 9 year old to a T!! He’s been talked with a number of times and that didn’t work so I finally took everything away from him and he got his things back when I decided his behavior had changed! He went without for weeks! His attitude and temper changed after about a week of having nothing to do.
Serious questions - Does he snore? Does he sleep with his mouth open? Does he mouth breath during the day?
If you answer yes t one or more seen an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor asap!! My son is all of these and not getting sleep at night we seen an ENT and his tonsils are nearly touching. Not receiving a good nights sleep will cause behavioral issues. Seriously private message me I can send you the info I got from our ENT it’s jaw dropping!
Could just be his personality or could be ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)
He needs anger management.
Take him to a child’s psychiatrist and have bim evaluated. To me it sounds like ODD maybe ADHD.
Mine also does great in school straight A student but she can be so impulsive and aggressive …she was diagnosed with ADHD …one of the questions the doc asked was if she was aggressive … Kids with ADHD usually also have Oppositional defiant disorder … I tried everything with her but now that I know what’s wrong I deal with it differently I have more patience and understanding…
Write to Dr Phil. He’ll send him to a ranch for treatment
My son had a horrible temper. When I’m preschool, he would push chairs at people. And even bit a teacher’s aide. In kinder, he was sent to the principal’s office twice. In kind, he still had behavior issues with any teacher other than the one regular teacher. Second grade, he was sent in the hall multiple times and had some anger issues. In third grade, last year, he had no problems. Now, he is 10 and in 4th grade. His teacher never would have ever guessed he had any behavior problems. So hopefully he will grow out of it. I also thought maybe I had done something wrong. But, we have 4 kids, who are all different. The only other kid with some behavior issues is my now 8yr old. But she is totally fine at school. And newly diagnosed with ADHD.
Stay on his ass momma, you are doing right by holding him accountable for ALL of his bad behaviors thats what kids do push their limits.
Gentle Parents Unite great group. Spanking and being strict sometimes is not the answer to certain behaviors.
Disciple doesn’t mean punishment. Maybe he is strict because that is what he is learning at home.
My son is the same way! He says it’s just hard to be good or not talk back. He’s just lazy and doesn’t put forth the effort needed if he doesn’t want to. He is amazing in school and with stuff and people he likes. It is hard. We started doing push ups, wall squats, holding books. Because time outside, writing sentences, and taking things away just seemed to lose its value after a couple times.
It’s a phase, all kids seem to go through it, for some it’s a big change in school or life, they’re understanding a lot more about life then they used to! Stop assuming that all kids that are in moods have a disorder or need to go to therapy! Parents have bad days too, kids are allowed to have their days, more so then adults cause they’re still learning and figuring things out! my kid is the EXACT same way, but I know for a fact he DOES NOT need therapy, he needs me to have patience with him; and trust me I’m the exact same mom as the mom that wrote this! They need discipline but they also need to be able to figure things out on their own, don’t give into their tantrums but don’t let them get away with everything, it’s a really hard time to be a mom cause no matter what you do everyone has a different opinion and everyone seems to judge you no matter what you do! Just keep working with the school and keep doing your mom thing! I started a behaviour chart which is actually working, it gives him incentive to actually try harder at school and it works wonders!!!
My oldest did this too. I really think it’s a phase. 8 and 9 were really difficult. Hes 12 now, and has learned to control it better. It got much better at 10. Just stay consistent.
Scared straight program?
Just breathe momma, you’ll get through this. Does he do any sports? Karate might help him also -my girls did soccer, dance, piano and 4H. Exhaust them!
I talked to my kid when he started showing anger issues. Told him its ok to be angry every one feels that. Its what you do with you anger that matters
Corporal punishment breeds anger. Maybe teach him how to meditate or look into martial arts
My son has been angry since he was 15 months old. Super horrible temper tantrums but he is so good at school. Everyone kept telling me “it’s just a phase”, well hes almost 7 and still having the same issues. I took him to therapy, several different therapists over the year, and they said to ignore the behavior. Trust your gut. If you feel it’s out of control for you then seek professional help for him. We will be seeking out a psychiatrist in the very near future. I have not found ANYTHING that has helped. My family even thought I was being dramatic until they saw him in action. Only you can truly know if this is just a phase or if you need additional outside help.
Get off Facebook & address it with an actual professional… FUCKING people are goddamn robots
Its the age. Most kids go through this at that age. My daughter is passed that into the snarky preteen phase now luckily. Just keep disciplining and stand your ground.
Studies have proven that there is a link between spanking and aggression, so if you don’t like your son’s temper then stop using physical punishment on him.
At 8 it’s developmentally normal to want more independence. You say you’re very strict, which could be why he’s bossy and talks back. He’s trying to find places where he can feel like he’s in control. Give him more say and responsibility, like have him plan a meal one night a week, or be a part of family meetings where he gets to decide which chores to do, etc. Be mindful with how you talk to him. Are you being bossy? Always nagging at him? Talk to him more… like really talk to him. Spend some one on one time with him doing things HE likes. Also, maybe extracurricular activities might help, like sports, martial arts, or even yoga to help calm the mind.
Please talk to a doctor and counselor. He’s lying and you’re saying “cares about no one and nothing when he’s angry”. This is a recipe for disaster for everyone involved.
Everyone on here is quick to try and blame the parent, but you can’t get a sense of parenting from one statement of “I’m strict”. A counselor can help you figure out what’s best to do if it’s “normal kid stuff” and if it’s something more, they can help. Stickers and rewards charts work for some kids, but it makes things worse for others. So getting advice from an outside, experienced source is truly your best bet
I enrolled mine into a gym and talked with the owner and he arranged a schedule of what he had to do there. He was so worn out by the time he got home (rode his bike) there wasn’t any anger left. Then Karate taught by a policeman!! That was ‘if you hurt anyone you will be charged’ He learned ‘self control’. Also are you seeing or living with a man he doesn’t like?
Talk to GP, community paediatrics
All of my grandkids went through this around that age as well. They are 16, 12 and 10 now. My daughter is strict and won’t hesitate to spank either. Each kid is different but positive reinforcement works better than punishment. Start by figuring out his currency - what makes him tick, what is most important in his life. Let him earn that for good behavior. Have him help you set up his reward / punishment system - tickets, fake money, a marble jar - something that when you see good behavior, he gets the currency to later buy his reward. When you see bad behavior, he pays you or goes into debt some days!!! For really bad behavior / safety issues, automatic restriction and loss of privileges. Also, make sure he is getting a full nights sleep, 3 healthy meals a day with 2 healthy snacks and DONT be afraid to talk to your pediatrician. Her oldest did need a therapist and some celexa for a few years just to bring him off the ledge.
Experienced much the same with my daughter. I believe the key is somehow making your child understand there are consequences for bad behavior. You must follow through with discipline. Letting up on discipline after implementing is sending a wrong message. That is what I found I was doing wrong. When I stopped letting up on discipline I got good results. This may or may not apply to you.
Went through same thing with my 7 year old step son that we got custody of in 2017 . Lying , bullying, stealing, just plain defiant . We were at our wits end and the school was also …Finally figured out February 2019 after testing and bloodwork that he has ADHD and possibly ODD as well .
I swear I could have written this myself. Our biggest life saver was finding my son a counselor to help him process his feelings. His major issue is not being able to process how he’s feeling. Sounds silly but it’s what’s going on with mine. He feels frustrated about something and it makes him explode bc he doesn’t know how to get the words out properly.
Also he is amazing at school or at dads or friends etc, then with me a total hellion…bc I am the safe place, he can let it all loose, let his guard down, etc…the counselor has helped both he and I process his troubles, and look for the signs it’s going to happen. Feel free to pm me if you’d like more info on our tricks 
I t is possible he has adhd one out every 4 boys will have a,one of the symptoms are impulse control and controlling temper. I t is worth checking out.My son had it and he too had a bad temper.
I had a child like this at FOUR years of age. His baby sister was born and I took nine months off work. During that time we his parents worked and loved him on the advice of counselling (we had been seeing a child counselor for several months), and our child became a sweet four-year-old after three weeks of constant and intense Behavior Ignorance (as long as he, nor anyone, or nothing, was being hurt or broken) and tough love on a 4 yr. olds scale. He was loving, authentic, and still a four year old boy with his original intelligence and curiosity intact. Then, I went back to work. I had fought it, thought it through and through (did not pray about it) and knew there would be a big price to pay as hubby was not/would not work. He ‘took care’ of the kids. In just a few months our son was back to his hateful and angry self, never to return as the sweet little boy we knew for several months.
You can’t combat a fire with more gasoline and expect the fire too distinguish. The same thing goes with spanking u want.too teach your.child.to.not use his authority with power and.voilence yet. Ur.not. giving him proper coping mechanisms to work.on his anger especially by spanking. Not saying your not doing good things but.id.cut.the.spanking completely. Being.compassionate and showing empathy go a long way.
Get blood work done. A doctor in classroom I worked in always suggest this first. I worked with students 8 yrs and tried redirection also got interested in something maybe a therapy dog or pet to have him interact with will help. Sometimes one on one time interactions help. Become involved more with finding fun interesting 
new thing to do.
Time to talk to his primary care doctor. He may need some counseling to work out the anger issues. Don’t wait. The sooner the better!
Counseling. Need to make sure he.is not ADHD and ODD. Oppositional defiant disorder.
I have the same issues with my son. I got him counseling and he has improved. Still has his moments but not as bad.
Is this something new if so maybe something has changed and he dont know how to handle change OR there is a lot of things that can cause it it is hard to say what to do sounds like you are doing the best you can
Get him counseling now, it will get worse as he gets older.
More love that hurts and Become a Godly Parent with a Godly testimony will work in other words.God in your side.
COUNSELING for sure…
Adhd and/or ODD guaranteed
Sounds like my son who has parental deficient disorders.
Good old fashioned ass busting