My adult daughter has stopped speaking to me and won’t let me see my grandson. When we do communicate, she screams and curses at me, saying I’m a terrible mother. Despite putting boundaries in place for my own mental health, her behavior continues. Now pregnant with her second child, I wonder if continuing the relationship is worth sacrificing my well-being? She struggles with bipolar disorder and depression after 30 years of turmoil, causing strained family relationships.
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Wait till she is ready. We only know your version though……
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I’m going to try to be as delicate as possible by saying this, but a lot of parents won’t acknowledge the role they played in their children’s issues and strained relationship. There are 2 sides to every story.
No adult child just one day decides not to have a mother. NO ONE wants to live without a mom. I would SERIOUSLY consider taking a step back and genuinely asking yourself what you’ve done in this situation, and have an honest talk with your daughter. Also I would heavily encourage counseling.
My mom and I had an extremely rough patch in our relationship for a few years. She truly didn’t think she did anything wrong. She never understood why I wouldn’t see her or have her around my son. She just told everyone “my daughter chose not to talk to me”. I wanted a mother more than anything in the world, but she did some really awful things to me that she wouldn’t acknowledge or accept.
We now have a great relationship again. So there is hope. But please dig deep and realize there are 2 sides to every story. I’m not saying you’re to blame and I’m not saying she’s to blame. But maybe acknowledging your wrongdoings will help you both heal. Good luck. 
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Sit down and have a chat with your daughter, cause what you thought might have been a good childhood or young adulthood for her,she might have different thoughts about it… Hope ye sort it and listen to what she has to say
I’m so sorry for the hurt I know you must be feeling, this is one of those things, you can not understand it until it happens to you. Pointing fingers is not helping or the answer, by the way. Sometimes it’s not the parent but the child’s personality or nature. I’m praying for your resolution between you and your child 
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Idk the background here, but im in the opposite side. My mom struggled with the same all my life. She would pick fights with me, triangulation was used against my siblings and i, she would think of a reason to be upset with me and than try to get my husband to bad mouth me, i could go on n on. Its exhausting. If thats the case and u really cant think of any reason other than that for her to be upset, than either ask if she would see a counselor with u or just step back for now. But have a heart to heart and see where that leads
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Her feelings are validated! If she asked you to leave her be then respect her wishes. And respectfully let her make the decisions for her children who she wants around and doesn’t. Because usually the ones who had trauma growing up because of their mothers raising them. Learn to be better mothers and become better women for their children while she figures it out maybe she will forgive you and come back around until then let her be. Why do mothers think we need to forgive and forget and put them first when they didn’t put us first. Their is a reason she doesn’t respect you that’s what I’m assuming since you pointed everything she is doing to you.
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With out knowing the issue’s it’s hard to say. But she probably needs you more than you need her. Sounds mean but true. Maybe have a chat again. That way she can’t say you didn’t try. I hate when stuff like this happens. I’m sure you hurt.
Need more information- what kind of boundaries did you put up? Depending on what they are you can’t have it both ways.
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Have you maybe considered your part in her trauma and anger? This is why my mom is low contact is because she can’t except her part in the trauma she gave me and continued to play victim just like this
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Step away. Let her cool down an come to you.
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I have not spoken to my youngest daughter in close to 3 years because of her disrespect…I love her…I miss her but I REFUSE TO B DISRECTED ANY MORE…
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I honestly think you two needs to figure what is best for the both of your mental health honestly maybe seek for therapy for the both of you. She is probably hurt?, angry or something to make her cut you completely out of her life. And honestly it isn’t good for the grandkids to experience you two arguing. Only suggestion is seek therapy for the both of you first mending that relationship should be your priority.
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My mom didn’t gaf if we were mad at her and told us. Once she told me I’m YOUR MAMA and it ain’t nothing you can do about it you’ll be back and hung up in my face. 
She was absolutely right and she’d slap my ENTIRE face off if I disrespected her in any way. My mom took no sh!t from anyone especially ones she brought into this world. She always reminded us I brought you here and I’d take you out now try me.
I cut my mother off more than a decade ago due to issues I won’t get into on here. Let’s just say I did it for my own mental health, my own peace, free of toxicity and drama, and her narcissism. From my own experience, if she cut you off, there’s a reason why
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I don’t speak to my mom and that’s her fault.
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Have you asked yourself did I do this to her? Monkey see, monkey do. She may have her reasons why she really doesn’t like you. My mother hates me with a passion. Wants my life and everyone in it. And other things she did to me all my life. Heal and be a better mother to her!
I don’t understand why anyone would laugh at this. Not even just that but indirectly blaming you. It’s disgusting. I’m sorry you’re going through this. With my own mother and siblings having mental health issues, I know it is not easy. Distancing yourself for your own mental health is necessary sometimes. In doing that you’re also respecting her wishes. It does not fall on you but her and one day she will realize it when she’s in need and hits rock bottom. Just know, sometimes you can put your best possible effort in and still end up with a bad apple. Thats what my therapist said. You can give all the outlets, therapies, love, support, joy, everything your heart can give. To some people that just isn’t enough and that’s not your fault. If she’s burning the bridges with multiple family member not just yourself, I don’t think you are the problem here. Stay strong mama❤️ don’t listen to all the blaming negative Nancy’s projecting their own traumas on you or your post.
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she doesn’t have to speak to you or allow you to see HER child. you sound exactly like my birth giver. she would love to boast about this & that is wrong with me or my siblings, but she NEVER talked about the damage she caused to use while we were growing up.
just leave her alone.
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With how close bipolar and BPD are… I have to agree. There is more to the story. This is worded to make it seem like she’s just crazy and doing it for no reason for years and years. Which is exactly what the parents of those with BPD do. 
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Most parents with grown up kids don’t want to acknowledge that they caused trauma when raising them and are quick to blame mental health…. Maybe take a step back to recognize your part in it and communicate that… it’s a start, and I’m sorry goes a long way
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Why the resentment? There’s gotta be more to the story…
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Therapy or yes. Sadly that may be your option. Leave door open but it’s not okay to mentally abuse people.
Honestly kids only cut their parents off for good reasons, if you’re adult child has cut you off you probably need to look at your past actions
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You’ll get people saying no daughter just stops talking to their parents for no reasons Actually this can happen… daughter cab have mental issues daughter boyfriend or husband can disallow her to have family connections or make her think her family is the problem… there is lots of reasons
If you’ve had a strained relationship it’s best maybe just to give her time… I know it hard being away from granchild and the new one but she will come around in her own time weather it takes months or 3 years. Its better for you and her in the long run xx
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Um look at yourself. You are definitely the problem.
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You need therapy. So does she.
Adult children do not just cut off parents for no reason
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I barely talk to my birth mother. The reason? She went on fb on my sonogram picture of my second daughter announcement no less to say she should have “got rid” of us at conception (my brother & I) we have no souls and some other vile 
. All because she couldn’t manipulate us anymore. I’ve spoke to her through messages maybe 5 times in 9yrs. Some things are unforgivable. So there’s a reason why she’s cut you off. I suggest you apologize for what you did and leave her be. Hopefully nothing as bad as my birth mom 
What did YOU do for her to cut you off though? Hmmmm
Admit your part in this, listen to to your daughter.
All I see here is blaming, no accountability on your part.
Two sides to every story…
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Cut the communication with her. Block her on all accounts. I wouldn’t put up with that and you shouldn’t either. If she feels the need to contact you after that she can contact you through an attorney after she gets some “help”.
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I cut my mother off a year ago next month. She’s a liar, a manipulator and called my 13 year old(she was 12 at the time) names. Do i still love my mother? I do but sometimes we gotta cut toxic people out our and our children lives.
Shes got a metal illnesses, your her mum… honestly suck it up and be there
There has to be a reason why she has an issue with you. I’m that way with my dad, I do suffer from Bipolar 2 disorder as well. I’m completely loving and caring and respectful to my mom, sometimes me and her argue but it’s rare but me and my dad stay at each others throats and that’s because I dislike him. He treats me like crap and will not realize what he did to make me act that way towards him. I’m not saying this to be mean but really look at yourself and go over the way you treated her, acted towards things, what all you have said to her, etc. once you can realize what you did you can apologize and change the way you treat her and all and I promise I’m sure her whole demeanor will change towards you. No one just starts hating there parents for no reason. Me and my mom use to go at each other all the time and me and my dad got along very well but it changed once I started puberty because my dad didn’t understand anything I was going thru, the emotions I was going thru or anything and told me to shut up and get over it (there’s more but I won’t go into it) my mom was there for me and told me it was normal to feel the way I did etc. so that’s when me and her got close. Me and my dad went to therapy together and he quit because my therapist told him how wrong he was for saying and doing the things he done to me and he wouldn’t accept he was in the wrong. Trust me plz I would do anything for my dad to realize where he went wrong and fix it, so plz do the same with your daughter!!! Before it’s too late.
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A long hard look in the mirror for reflection.
I’m bipolar and the best thing that people did was cut me off. I was unmedicated and wasn’t interested in therapy or making my relationships better. I’m medicated now and have done lots of intense therapy. I have nothing but respect for those people who felt like they needed to walk. I still love them and think about them often. I regret hurting them now but back then I didn’t care. Sometimes we need tough love. I wish you the best
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The way you structured your post with "she wont let you see your grandson “her having a mental illness " “pregnant again” than immediately saying if continuing to sacrifice YOUR wellbeing” is odd… without knowing details of what she is accusing you of we are basing our advice on only your version, with that being said theres more to it, your post makes a clear indication of a sympathy grab,justification of your actions that you have not revealed, Heres my best advice, dig deep within,ask yourself why you needed to post this to the world for validation instead of using your maternal compass to guide you,than perhaps you will be able to work on you’re relationship with your daughter
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Off-topic, but why do people put asterisks in the middle of normal and acceptable words like “bipolar” and “depression”??
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Consider looking for a therapist who can guide your way to heal this relationship.
Let your daughter know that you want a relationship with her and the grandchildren. Tell her you understand she has resentment towards you and that you want to fix things and that you feel a therapist can assist with that help.
I’m sure you’re hurting too, but I wouldn’t really go with that if you’re trying to talk her into therapy. You don’t want her to feel like she’s the problem because that may deter her from trying.
She may say no and if she does, just accept it. Try again later. It may take a few tries to get her to consider it.
Not to be mean. But bc I am a mother myself, I feel I can ask…have you thought of where you also contributed to her mental ailments?
I have zero family and or relationships with my adopted ppl along with biological ppl. My “mother” is my ultimate enemy. But I’d be a liar to say that I wouldn’t give anything to have her see herself and what she’s done. Enough so to want to TRY for me, at any level.
Like others have said, NO ONE truly wants to live without a mother…
She’s grown yes…but that’s still YOUR BABY. Don’t ever leave her life.
Imo you had to of done something.
So what did you do to her? Sounds like accountability isn’t being taken on your end.
Start looking at where you went wrong. I’m only hearing your side here. But kids don’t cut off their perfectly healthy parents for no reason.
Mother’s can be toxic too they just refuse to admit it, like mine.
Why would someone laugh at this
Sounds like you mightve been a toxic person and probably the other family members as well. And that’s coming just from how you referenced her mental disorders. I did the same thing. I cut ties to anyone whom I felt was toxic family or not. And if she didn’t get proper help in childhood or her mental health was ever invalidated then she has every right to feel how she does. Maybe self reflect and ask yourself why she feels that way. Then change it.
Out of curiosity why the asterisks in the mental health disorders. You do know they are not swear words right