I have a three month rule. At some point you’re gonna have to give in and surely a blended family that works is better than kicking off about it??
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It’s been 4 months girl, get over it. Let her come and be nice.
I feel like 4 months is plenty of time. I married my husband 5 months in. 
I think you are being pretty petty. It’s not about you, the girlfriend or your ex. Get over it, your kids should come first.
So you want him to be with the girl for more than 4 months before she meets your kid but yet you’re asking him to break his new girlfriend’s trust to go trick or treating with you and your kid where she’s not allowed to be!? Make it make sense!
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They’ve been together for 4 months , I don’t think there is a huge issue with her coming along
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well um … who he’s with IS his choice. you sound controlling af. usually for a kid in a situation like this parents either work out sho has the kid this year, then its the other the next year. or they plan on a trunk or treat thats usually on a different day then the other parent does the actual day. his current gf doesnt HAVE to be ok with you. at all. ideally everybody should be, but to expect her to be ok with you is so crazy, yall dont know each other. 
This isn’t about you. This isn’t about your child’s father. This isn’t about his gf of 4 months. This is about your guys child. Put your pettiness and bitterness aside and just let him bring his gf for your child can enjoy having both parents involved with the trick or treating. You say his new flavor of the week but they’re been together for 4 months. Remember this is about your guys child and not either of you.
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You’re the one that’s making him pick between the 2. It’s only a big deal because you make it one. It’s just going door to door asking for candy and you will be there also
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Then it’s mommy and me why catered to grown adults acting like children. It’s about the child . You want this, he wants this it’s about the child having a good time
How old is your child? Honestly, I think that can make a difference. If super little, they won’t remember. If like 5-8, then Dad is being childish and selfish, and I’d just take your kid trick or treating yourself and have a great time. If your child is older, they probably have a grasp on the situation between mom and dad and the girlfriend(s), so it probably doesn’t really matter. Ultimately it’s what you’re comfortable with. You want to have a great time with your little one without having to bring drama into it. Trick or treating lasts an hour or two. Not long at all. So either decide if you can handle it, or dad needs to prioritize and go see his gf after trick or treating, imo. I’ve been on both sides so I see if from both sides. Good luck and breathe.
Coming from a home (as a child) with divorced parents…. Just “let” her come. I use that term loosely bc it’s really not the world we live in for her to actually need your permission or approval to just show up with him. It would make it super uncomfortable that way yes, but unfortunately you can’t control what he does, who he’s around, how he spends his time or who he has with him as in brings along to trick or treat. Yes you can voice your concern, dissatisfaction, disapproval… and yes it could make for an argument & very uncomfortable night on Halloween, but is it really that important in the grand scheme of things? It’s a night about having fun with your kids, seeing all the costumes, getting all the spooky thrills and making memories…although I think that your side of the debate is well founded & 4 months isn’t really that long, not long enough to know if she’ll be sticking around for good, but she IS here now & the good thing is that she wants to be around your child… maybe be open and give her a chance… because unfortunately you don’t have control when your child is with the father and honestly do you really want to create that kind of environment for your child and that kind of coparenting relationship with him/them? Because If she DOES end up being around, she will more than likely be around for visits and can play a big part in the co-parenting situation. It CAN be a good thing. I know there are a lot of horror stories, but the more people to love your child the better. Obviously she doesn’t have to be introduced as “your next step mom” or anything to avoid confusion for the child in case it doesn’t work out, she could simply be Daddy’s friend for now… yes, breakups are hard. Wether or not there are any feelings still there or animosity towards each other, y’all were obviously together one… and that just makes some people uncomfortable and sometimes even jealous. These are normal feelings & reactions but y’all can overcome this. Instead of your child seeing/hearing you not liking her, what if, after you see her positively interact with your child, your kiddo hears you say something like, I’m glad you have another friend (& eventually down the road update her term) at Daddy’s house… we can be the most petty species… wether we realize it or not. Something about someone’s appearance on 5 people may not bother us or even catch our attention, but you let dads new gf walk by and that same thing is the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever seen and she should really do something about that. Or she sees moms wearing heels all the time and thinks they look great, but the mother of their significant others’ child walks in wearing the same and she looks trashy & seemingly begging for attention. I personally think control is a form of this. You see, it’s not your place to determine these things, but we assume it is bc we are his child’s mother. Your child is just as much his as yours and you obviously trusted him at some point when y’all were together and he must not be that bad, because you guys made a baby together, your probably just grew apart or things changed and sometimes that love doesn’t go away over night. You will always care about him & vice verse to some extent because he is the father of your child. If she doesn’t have a child yet/children of her own, she may not understand that y’all can get along & have care for each other only in that way but that there is no love left there, no room for a reconciliation and therefore no threat to her. Try to remember what it was like at that point in your life before kids and how that may have been difficult for us at a much earlier mature level to understand (I don’t mean that she is immature, I’m simply stating that we were not as much as we are now before we became mothers) anyways, on the same token, it may just be hard for you to see him with someone else yet (maybe even harder to admit that fact too) and it’s just all new territory for everyone. Try to have an open heart and be accepting. First and foremost, protect your baby at all costs, but if she doesn’t have a record for mistreatment of children then maybe give her a chance. You don’t have to be best friends but be cordial and accepting. It’s going to be awkward at first but that doesn’t last… this could be good or it could blow up in your face. Either way, you were the bigger person and it will show that you tried… and it won’t hurt her to see you looking great living your best life, not to promote jealousy, but to empower you to feel better and to show her that you are a confident and beautiful woman… maybe this could be the start of a good relationship that will benefit your child. And If she doesn’t stick around then you were the bigger person and that will be remembered. Best of luck
It’s not like the new gf is hanging out with your child without you let her come. I’d want to see how she interacts with my child.
Stick to your guns…let him take gf tort
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I’d be happy if my ex was able to keep a gf for four months 
. Then introduce them to our child. This is a rare opportunity for you to check her out and see how your kid feels about this person. Get her vibe. Could be very beneficial for everyone.
I’d rather know who my ex is dating because they will eventually be around my kids. I’d just ask them to keep the PDA under wraps and tell the kids this is dads new friend
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Why does he have to be there? Sounds like you’re jealous and want to try to get back together with your baby daddy.
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As long as you and baby daddy are consistent in showing love, attention and being there for your kids events, let him bring along whoever he wants. The kids will figure out that women come and go in Daddy’s life, but that he is forever their daddy. Him being there for them is more important than who he’s currently seeing.
He is being an ass to say if my new girlfriend can’t come I’m not going to show up for my kids, but that’s probably one of many reasons he’s your ex.
Just bite your tongue in front of the kids and try to make sure he shows up for all the things, school plays, conferences, birthdays, and holidays. The most important thing to the kids is that he maintain a relationship with them and show up for them, no matter who he let’s tag along.
I’d let her come. I’d rather be there if she is interacting with my child as opposed to him and her being alone. That way you can monitor things.
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Let the girlfriend come along. Do what’s best for the kid. I’m sure your guys kid would want dad to be there to enjoy the night too. Put your pettiness away for 1 night.
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If it’s your day with child you can inforce this. If it’s his night, you really have no say who he has around child unless there is proof there is a threat to said child
… let him bring her. Just tell him fine as long as the experience isn’t ruined bc of his gf ( since he can’t be around you without her )
It’ll more likely end up weird. She’ll keep him beside her at all times and he’ll miss out on his kid. But if that’s the only way your child will have him there… do it
I don’t see her being there as a big deal.
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I hope he gives you that same energy and drama when you find someone 
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My husband and I have 6 co-parents lol. (His 2 exes, their boyfriends, my ex, and his girlfriend.) What we do is we trade off holidays every year. We make a calendar in the beginning of the year. And unfortunately, you can’t technically tell their dad who to let around the kids, unless it’s officially written into a parenting agreement.
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I say stand your ground, tell him when he has been in established relationship for at least a year then he can introduce to the kiddo. You have to protect your child’s well being and teach morals.
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It’s just trick or treating you’re the one making a big deal of it lol
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Ummm . Let her come! Who cares how you feel… like you said…it’s about your son. It’ll be dark…your son will probably forget her by sunrise anyway. He will NOT be focused on her…trust me. Go get some candy and have an awesome time!!!
I understand not wanting every single girl around your child. However, since it will be a group activity, you , him, the child, and the girlfriend I think it is a bit different. Maybe compromise, agree to her coming but be clear that he is to keep the relationship out of the equation. There is no reason to introduce a child to adult business unless absolutely necessary. For instance, when he introduces her, leave out the details of their relationship. She can be introduced as a friend for now. I have many friends my kids have only met once, so I don’t think it would be a big deal if handled properly for now.
On the other hand, the situation works out great; you get to meet the woman who may be involved in your child’s life moving forward, and the child gets time with both of their parents. Win win.
If either of you are unwilling to compromise, then the problem is much bigger than “not introducing every girl to your child”.
On a side note, the two women telling this man what he can and can’t do regarding his child is ridiculous. Let the man be a parent and work out the details together- ya know coparent.
Good luck
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You will be there… Honestly it only makes sense to me if you aren’t there but since you will be there I dnt see the issue. If you are concerned with them getting attached, then hurt, that isn’t going to happen because of 1 night where they will only be concerned about trick or treating. Just say she is the dads “friend” that’s all, and learn to coparent without feelings. Trust me it helps.
Well seems like you are choosing pettiness over your child.
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Here’s the thing… you can’t control what someone else does. Is it concerning to have people come and go from your child’s life…yes. but is there anything you can do about it without hindering your child’s relationship with their dad…no. it’s up to him to be a good dad. To be honest, it’s a good way for you to get to know this other person too, see if they throw any concerns for you given he wants them to be around your kid.
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Act like grown ups and do what’s best for the child. Let her tag along, what’s the big deal? Yall are there for the child not each other
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It’s not that serious. Let the girl tag along. If you are there I dont see the issue. Seems it’s more control thing than what’s best for kids lol
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If it’s left to the court they will tell you that this is absolutely wrong …and you can’t pick and choose what goes on in his life …when he has your children…grow up and let the girlfriend tag along. I think of it as MORE LOVE for my child…you should do everything in your power to have a HUGE circle of love around your children!!!
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Maybe ask what your child wants. As parents we forget who’s really affected. I would personally tuck my feelings in my pocket and let my son decide and then I will act as an adult and respect his wishes. Even if it means setting a good example to them about how adults should act.
Unless u still have some kinda of feelings for him still… then let her tag along. I get the whole you don’t want your children to meet every favor he has. But ur there so she’s not alone with your children. You’ll get to see how she is with them and get to know her a lil.
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There are multiple different trick or treating events. Either let them come with you, or have them take her to something another day. Unless she isn’t allowed around the GF at all… which would be a whole different issue. You all 3 need to grow up and put feelings aside. Only feeling that matter are those of your child!!
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Let you kids trick or treat with them on one night and time, and you go in the next town over and trick n treat by yourself. With kids. Win win kids get 2 nights trick n treating and have his gal and him and then you get ur own nights. Your lives are separate now time to start living accordingly. Either that or grab a really cute guy friend and invite him along that night without telling them and let him get a feel for it. Lol
You will have to learn how to communicate with him and his girlfriend. Let both of them come and have fun with the child for Halloween. It will give you a chance to get to know each other. You don’t have to be besties with her, but you do need to be able to communicate for the child’s welfare and get along.
That’s on HIM if HE is allowing your guys daughter to see him switching relationships all of the time. You will be present, therefore she will be safe, so is probably best that YOU just being the best MOM you can be.
Go without him. It’s only trick or treating ffs
In these days n times it’s better for them to see the getting along an doing things an not sweat the small things somex easier said then done but it doesn’t cause u stress n nonsense and it shows you are comfortable enough with yourself and you still hold the power as a Mother to say yes u agree or No you disagree,it’s his problem on multiple partners not yours You got You your child sees…Good Luck to you.
On one hand….It’s really not good to expose children to people that are dating. On the other…… what is an appropriate time to meet and start interacting???
I’m more concerned about the statement concerning
“SHE IS THERE”
It is impossible to build a lasting relationship on insecurities, jealousy and mistrust. This relationship will not last, so you are probably right to stand firm on this issue.
What’s more important to you? Having him there for his child or not having her there? Sounds like it’s a comfort thing for you (understandable) but ultimately your child won’t care if she’s there or not. Let her go, grow up, be civil…who knows…maybe you’ll like her. Your using your child to get what you want. You can’t dictate what he does and who he’s with.
Either let her go as well or accept the fact he isn’t coming 
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I won’t introduce my son to a man without that ring on my finger.
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Let her be there. Wether you like it or not that might be his step mom in the future. No need to start drama very early on. That’s possibly why he gets new girlfriends because not a lot of women want to deal with baby momma drama. Just co parent and stop worrying about who he’s with. I wouldn’t want my bf to go alone with his baby mother either. She’s being excluded. I understand you don’t just want anyone around your kid but that’s interfering with your coparenting. Either get over it and go all together or y’all can both split the night .
I met my stepdaughter on the first blind date with her dad when she was 8. Her dad and I have now been married for almost 20 years. She is now 29 years old, married with two children (our grandchildren!). I also met his ex and her live in man that same evening. Things haven’t always been easy, but we have always tried to take the high road and do what’s best for Erika! I think it has paid off in the long run!
Take your child by yourself. You sound childish yourself.
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Don’t take away the time he wants to spend with your child. He thankful he is there. You are only hurting the child. Don’t let your feelings for this girl interfere with the child’s fun time.
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You can’t control who he has around his kids get over it.
Totally agree with you! Stay Strong !
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Oh so you dictate when time is right give me a break it’s his child to what gives you the right to make all the decisions grow up
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Go trick or treating with just u and ur kid. And he can go trick or treating with him and his kid on a different day. Easy peasy.
I’d say alone and going with dad too soon but you’ll be trick treating so out and about maybe say she’s a friend.
Just be adults
He is as much of the father, as you are the mother. He can’t control who you have around the kids, and vice versa. Obviously, if she was a danger to your child, that would be a different story. But it just seems like you’re being jealous.
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Go without him
Who cares?
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You’re choosing your own feelings over your child? If you guys aren’t together, why do you need to do things alone? Why do you get to decide what a proper relationship length is? IF it was really about the kid, you’d either go alone or let them all tag along. How old is the kid?
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Invite a male friend with and y’all all go 
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Be the bigger person for your child…that’s all that should matter. I see no problem with her tagging along.
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It’s really not healthy for a child to see all these people coming and going in their life. Kids need stability. Plus if your child sees these people coming and going throughout their life and realizes they are relationships then the child will think it’s ok. We as parents are the kids role models.
This could be a great opportunity to meet the gf and spend a little time with her. Because at the end of the day… you don’t really get to decide when he starts bringing her or anyone else around the little one.
You realize there’s going to be a thousand strangers around the child already that night? What’s the difference from one more?
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YES PLEASE??? Please make it make sense. He is not choosing his girlfriend over your child. YOU are the one drawing the line in the sand. Are you going to save this same energy for your child’s teachers? “NOPE! You cannot teach my child if you don’t plan on teaching them every year! My child might get attached to you and have to learn how to deal with people in her life for varying degrees of time” this whole… they haven’t been together for X amount of time is such an old and tired excuse. If there is reason to legitimately believe that she would harm your child then that is a different story. Show your kid that SHE is the most important thing and that being a grown up means making sacrifices for your kid. She wants her dad there… and he now comes as a package deal… accept it and move on. Continuing to try and play house and excluding his new significant other simply because she hasn’t been around long enough to appease you— is super petty
I would just have everybody go together for the child’s sake. It’s all about him/her not the parents.
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You talking like the child is just yours ……… he isn’t the baby daddy …. He is the father … and has every right as you to the child
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I’ve had my exes gf of the time at my daughters birthday party. It is what it is. They’re not together anymore (shocker) but I mean it’s for the kid. That was the only birthday party I’ve allowed him to be at because now he’s just so toxic but you do what you gotta do. We do all school functions together, my bf goes, if he has a gf at the moment she comes too. You gotta let it go at some point. My exes gf even showed up to a couple of my daughters soccer games 
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Then I guess you go without him mama
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I’d meet her without the kids first to get any vibes, if you feel ok than met again with your kids, if they are happy with her, let her come, if not, than explain the reasons if your kids don’t feel comfortable tell him,but it needs to be an honest answer, not because you maybe jealous or trying to control him and the kids!
Let her go…when shes older she let u know if she wants to be with her Daddy
Tell him to sit at home then! Pretty easy a no is a no. I don’t blame you.
I figure you want him back and they both know it. Stop it. He either needs to be allowed to parent or not. All three of you need to take the kid trick or treating, or you alone take your kid. It’s not tough, but everything will NOT be your way or the highway.
I would allow her to come and introduce her as daddy’s friend so they don’t get used to her always being there just in case it doesn’t work out with her. I would also ask them to be respectful and not to be super affectionate with each other in front of your child. I understand it may be hard for you especially if it is a newer split but just because you have a child with him it doesn’t mean you get to control his life. You have to look at it as if the tables were turned and he was doing you the same way telling you that your boyfriend can’t be there. Talk to him and both of you can compromise. Good luck
One thing, sounds like you have ALOT of growing up to do!
And that is where I’ll leave the comment at!
You sound petty. Let her come and get to know her…
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Split the difference. You take your child for half the night. Hand him to dad and girlfriend the other half. The child is happy. Everyone wins. Annnnnnddddd….you don’t have to spend time with your ex and his new gf. Huge win!
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Introduce her as a friend and be cordial
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Take her and leave him at home!
Why can’t she come. This is a good time to see her and him with your child since you don’t want anyone of his short term girlfriends around y’all’s child.
Y’all be praying cling the wrong battles to fuss over.
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Sounds like a perfect opportunity to have her along. It’s a crowded event, so if they don’t last the kids will just have the memory of a crowded trick or treating night.
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You don’t get a say unfortunately. If he takes you to court for custody, he can have whoever he wants around his child. You don’t get to control people when you break up. Can he dictate what you can or cannot do?
THEY shouldn’t be together because she clearly doesn’t trust him to be a father. 
but also, they’ve been together four months now. I know you said he likes to switch up females, but she could be introduced as his friend. However, I don’t understand her need to be there while you go trick or treating at all. And if he’s going to decide not to go because she can’t go, that’s just ridiculous and awful on his part. But as far as your child being “allowed” around her…you don’t really get to make that decision unfortunately. And trust me I’ve been there as a mother. But you can’t control his life or who is in it. Unless she’s a danger to your child, you kinda gotta get over it.
Whew Chile some of y’all so damn mean and ignorant just answer the questions without the back handed answers !
I would just let her come or just do something separate sometimes you gotta pick and choose your battles.
Have a great time, it’s about the child. Put on costumes and enjoy.
Yeh sorry I think you’re wrong. 4 months is not a flavor of the week. Not allowing her there seems petty and jealous. I’ll be trick or treating with both my exes , their new partner and all our kids and we’re all gonna be the 7 dwarfs. Kids thrive when they see parents supporting each other…you don’t get to control his life anymore and unless you have a reason to think this woman will somehow harm your child your position is silly imo.
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You sound bitter. Four month relationship isn’t “flavor of the week”.
It won’t hurt anything to let her be there unless you’re jealous.
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I think he needs to put on his big boy pants and stop letting women dictate how he fathers his child. If you don’t want her there that’s fine but you can’t expect him to still be there. But what he can do as long as it’s within your custody order is take her on his own and then if he respects your decision he won’t have y’all’s child around her. One thing I’ve learned is when I felt how you feel it’s because I wasn’t ready to let go, it had nothing to do with my child. When I didn’t care anymore I wanted him to bring the woman because I wanted to know who she was around my kids
Trick or Treat by yourself with your child. If he wants to take her, he can do it separately after. Worst mistake I made was trying to keep some semblance of a “family” For my kids and include Dad. And unfortunately you can’t control what he does so get used to it! 
Dating for four months is not just “flavor of the week”. I think it is pretty disrespectful of you to not include her. This is where co-parenting problems come from… There is no harm in Dad introducing his girlfriend to your child as his friend. Also, I see this as the perfect opportunity for your child to meet her with you around so you can gauge their interaction.
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Looool he could do that on his own time, sounds like he’s trying to make you Jelly
I would say no thanks
He doesn’t need to go with you. U do yours and let him do a different place a different time or a trunk or treat
Absolutely in the wrong. If you’re there why can’t she be there?
I get being mad that you couldn’t meet or be around his gf, but if you’re present during that time I don’t see an issue. It’s Halloween I doubt they’re going to be all over her anyways. Candy is a good distraction 
If they go visit I’m pretty positive they’re around her without you anyways. Good luck figuring it out mama!
Honestly, I’d go all of you.
What is one night going to hurt? Hey, this is daddy’s friend she’s going to come to…. He doesn’t need to know this is a girl friend. I know we all have friends that come and go and because we aren’t dating we all allow our child to be around them.
As long as they are being respectful, I’d say go for it! It’ll be a fun time! It’s for your child not you.
They will be excited to go!
“In the childrens best interest, you are more than welcome to come trick or treating with our children, (girlfriends name) is not to be meeting the children just yet. You have an open invitation to join us, it’s your choice if you want to come or not”
Whatever you do or say, be careful because it all can be used against you in court.
It’s absolutely not for me. The gf didn’t say “I want to meet your sons mother and begin the work to start a relationship with your child” she said “you’re not allowed around her without me.” This lady is controlling and manipulative and I would not be bending to her demands or anything else that would envied this behavior. Next it’ll be her dictating how much he spends or what he buys for the child. These insecure women that want to come in and force themselves into coparent relationships for control get no passes from me.
Women like her are exactly why fathers with new girlfriends are the most likely group to abandon their kids from previous relationships
If he is not paying child support , let him go. You do not added stress from him or his girlfriend.
I wouldn’t gaf. Why is it important he be there? He a whole adult take care of your kid and don’t worry about his decisions
She sounds very insecure, especially in her new relationship. It sucks that when we’re younger we can’t stand up and know that if they cannot be faithful we don’t want them anyway. It’ll all sort it’s self out. If it becomes a long term stable relationship I would encourage everyone to be involved with the kids and show them how we should all be.