You should trust the person you had a baby with to be able to choose who is a good influence enough to have your child around without you there, or even with you there. Like, if my husband and I split, I couldn’t see him 1) telling our children that he has a gf until it’s serious. 2) being stupid enough to choose someone untrustworthy around our children. I never had men around mine that I dated until I dated my husband, I had male friends I allowed around my son. He never had in and out issues due to the men in my life, he had it due to lack of father. Now, do you think being controlling will be in your child’s best interest? Do you have to control the situation everytime? I hope he takes you to court if you’re going to be controlling over his time. Next you’re going to say that he wasn’t in your child’s life because his fatherhood is indicative of your control. Do better.
In my opinion he’s not choosing the flavor of the week over y’all’s child… he choosing not to allow you to control how and when he can spend time with his child if they’ve been together for 4 months she’s gonna most likely be around your child at some point and the way I think about it I’d rather meet and get to know the woman that’s gonna be around my child… stop and think about it if you get into a new relationship eventually your boyfriend or husband will be involved in y’all’s child’s life and how would u feel if he told you he didn’t want your significant other at the child’s bday party… or what happens when or if he has a child with the gf and then you decide he can only spend Halloween with y’all if he comes alone then he has to choose between the children… if y’all gonna coparent you gotta stop trying to control everything… and from my own personal experience the girlfriend wouldn’t not want him around you unless she’s around unless she has seen inappropriate messages or behavior that would lead her to believe y’all are still fucking around
Silly BS. Let the poor kid have a day without involving juvenile nonsense by his parents.
He’s a stupid man, SOME choose women over their children all the time. You don’t need him with y’all make your own memories now. He will probably just disappoint your child later might as well let it happen now. Sorry you are going through this I’ve been there.
Y’all acting like children.
Too bad. Go on your own with the children.
Unfortunately, you don’t get to dictate who your BD dates. You may not like it, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. It’s pretty stupid on both your parts and I think you both need to grow up.
If you are there, with your child. Then I see no problem with letting the GF come. It’s called parenting. Even if it’s a new relationship. That’s not the point. For the sake of your child, that you had TOGETHER, it is yalls responsibility to suck it up and make a better life for your kid. Teach kindness and UNDERSTANDING. Sometimes we don’t like certain situations but sometimes we have to put on our big girl panties and deal with shit. Does your kid want her dad to be there? Then it shouldn’t matter how you feel about his new gf. If you had a new bf, what would you do?
Unless there’s been abuse or something. Let that man see his kid on halloween.
Boys are dumb I’d tell the gf hey nothing personal I promise but the poor kid has met so many gfs I’m gun shy now! If you can settle him down amazing but I don’t wanna break my kids heart again
Dick is in charge of that man.
Oh well. Sucks to be him. Go without him
Sounds like leaving you was a good decision…you talk about his kid, but are p***** because he won’t trick or treat with…YOU!!!girl get a life…bu** out of his quit causing problems…go to COURT, get CUSTODY, set CHILD SUPPORT and VISITATION and grow up!!! Who he has around HIS child is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! Don’t trust him…
You had a baby with him didn’t ya… it didn’t make him stay with you did it……nuff said without. His side of the story…GO BY YOURSELF!!!
Eh… I can see both sides of this. It almost seems like you’re not over your ex And you don’t want to see him with another woman. My husband’s bm was like this. She made his life an absolute living hell when we got together Because he moved on, meanwhile she’s had 15 different men in and out of the 11 year Olds life as “dad” and I’m the only consistent partner either of her parents have had. (Going on 10 years with her dad.) Not saying this is your situation, but the court did nothing to keep those new boyfriends away from her, they just ordered that her mom stop telling the kid that every new flavor was “daddy”. So if he wants to take this to court it’s likely that he will get to see your child and it will be ordered that you have no say who the kid is around or where they are during his parenting time.
Have the kids not been with their dad alone in the last 4 months?! If so they’ve probably also been around the gf….if not that’s just sad.
There are going to be many people that pass in and out of your kids lives. Letting the kid meet Dad’s new gf won’t traumatize the kid, even if they break up the day after Halloween. It’s like saying you don’t want to send your kid to school because they will only have their teacher for about 9 months 
So sick of this going on all the time who cares I think you’re being a little baby put your feelings aside and let the girl come along my husband was an alcoholic and I still make sure he got to see his kids because he had to be living with a girlfriend or his mom or somebody because I knew that they were the ones that would be taking care of the kids not him because he drank 24/7 so I would meet them get to know them and never ever ever keep my kids away from their dad no matter what a lot of you women out there I don’t understand why is it up to you if the woman comes around you shouldn’t have any say so you’re not his woman anymore you’re not together the kids come first they the hell out of his relationship you calling the shots is I think ridiculous
Both parents don’t have to go trick or treating with the child if yall aren’t together? Honestly it’s more strange that you’re upset over this imo. But if it’s that big of a deal, let the gf go with. If she’s meeting the kid in a group, especially on a busy day like Halloween, the child isn’t going to pay her any special attention. I definitely would want to meet her before letting them around the kid without you there because that’s your child and I wouldn’t want my kid around someone I don’t know, but also 4 months isn’t that short amount of time? I introduced my partner to my son before 4 months was up and it was a wonderful decision. Regardless of how you feel, that is his child as well and he should get to have a say in this. Keeping children from parents that WANT to be there is only going to hurt the child.
You need to understand if you’re not w the bd, you cannot have total control, you cannot control his life and if you let your emotions control you, your babies will see the negative you project onto your bd. Be the bigger person, let your bd do whatever he going to do, make Halloween fun regardless for your babies, it’s frickin candy
Have her come. Introduce her as a friend. You get to meet her and see how she interacts with your child. Seems like he’s respected your wishes to not introduce them yet. So humor him. Eventually, he’s not gonna care what you think if you don’t meet him halfway.
Let him bring her along. You just keep doing what you’re doing and your child will grow up to realise who truly put her well being before their own.
Be polite and enjoy the night.
Just be glad he wants to be there my BD goes months without seeing his son. Bring a friend along so there is a group of you it will make it less uncomfortable. I did this for my oldest and it worked great!
I get where you’re coming from, you want your child to have you and your ex. She doesn’t need to be there and if he doesn’t want to be there then don’t worry about it, take a friend or something.
I’ve been through this. My BD had a new woman constantly and wanted them to meet our daughter. My answer was no unless they were together for 6 months or more. He whined but got over it. Now he’s married and can come down to visit even if his wife isn’t able to join. Do what you think is best for your child.
So go by yourself with the kids. Baby daddy ain’t gotta be involved in everything
Go without him. It’s that simple
I feel like you’re totally right. If it’s not serious between them yet (engaged or something beyond just hanging out or bf/gf) I wouldn’t allow my child around this person yet either. Kids need stability.
It sounds like it will be less drama if he doesn’t come. You will have more fun without him!!
I went trick or treating with my BD and his ex last year. I liked her better than him!
Don’t worry about why - just make life great for your child and leave him be
Well seems
Like he is putting a female before his own baby’s. Let him make these mistakes them
Baby’s will
Remember momma always being there no matter what. I have four baby’s they are grown now I did it on my own and they know it. Prayers for you and them
Baby’s have fun make new memories.
That’s the type of man he is
Rotate years or get back together and make it work … if not , the kid will be grown and you two will still be acting like your married still trying to control each other
I don’t think you’re wrong. And the reasoning is very valid. It’s not that you don’t want her there, it’s just she is a but too new. And I do understand because you don’t want your child around different random people all the time. If it were more serious that would have been fine according to you. He should be more understanding. It’s not like you want him back. But just need the covalent for the child’s sake
Who are you to demand what your ex can do? You trusted his judgement enough to carry his child… Trust that he will not introduce a monster into your child’s life. You are in the wrong. Open more opportunities for your child to have both parents more involved in their life. You are the past not your child. Move on and give space for your child to build better relationships than you could.
It’s his loss if you are inviting him and he chooses his new gf. Some of these dudes don’t know about priorities. I would just trick or treat with the child and if it’s your boundary to not want the new gf to tag along that’s your choice.
You take the kids one year, let him have them the next year. The kids will have fun with one or the other parent as long as the parent is having fun with them
Well either go by yourself or welcome her to go, this wsy you will get to know her.
My youngest sons father wouldn’t see his child at all unless I allowed his girlfriend around.
He saw our child for 2 hours with his girlfriend in my house, in which neither of them said a word to me. Our child wasn’t even a week old at that time.
He refused to come back because I said she couldn’t be there. I didn’t want the stress.
& guess what? My child is 5 now and He’s never been back since.
Have her dress up as a witch…kid will never know 
Then sounds like you need to go by yourself with your child … alternate holidays or something cuz this sounds controlling 
I mean it’s petty but he has every right to have her around and you can’t tell her she can’t come…
If shes there with u your child is watched this is about the child not u or dad let her come so at least ur child is seeing dad be the bigger person
I say, if it was him defending his new relationship and he seems serious about it, then let her come along with you both. But if it’s only because she said so, then that means he won’t defend his children and put them first so I agree with a no.
Sounds like yall need to grow up for the sake of your children.
Why are you even bothered? He doesnt have to go, why are you emotionally attached to him being there?. He can have time with his child alone(I completly support the having an issue with all the women though, we have to take parenting seriously).
Sounds like the " baby daddy" has enough problems if he has new girlfriend already calling the shots . I think I would want to have a chance to see how she acts around your child.
Why would you want him there anyways…DRAMA 
just take your kids trick or treating…Simple! Either you take them or let him it’s not up to you who he has in his life …
This is the sad part of divorce when children are involved. Not a big deal if the child is around the girlfriend and they later break up. Children are around many people and later they are not in their life. Example teachers, day care workers etc. sometimes it’s good to give in for the sake of the child.
How old is the child? If you guys aren’t together why spend holiday together? To me I find it strange when ex’s have holidays or special occasions together. Maybe because I had a high conflict situation. I would say don’t feel like you have to invite your child’s father to every event like this. Have you been to court? Judges will split holidays normally or you can come up with your own holiday plan if you guys agree on one.
Only read the first sentence … sweet! She can hooker hoof it out there for ya! U sit back and enjoy a pumpkin spice n take pics!
That’s his choice then. I have the same rule. No one meets my kids unless you have been together for 1 Year without breaking up or cheating. Same rule goes for me as well. I won’t introduce someone unless it’s been a year and I am confident that they need to meet my kids.
Ok so why is his gf of 4 months saying he can go trick or treating with his child and the mother of his child? Seems like SHE has security issues. However the mother is asking what to do…well if his gf wants to go thats fine but she needs to respect mom while being there bd too. I see alot of people saying negative about baby mom however the gf has no involvement here. Yes if bd sees his child and brings his gf around that would be his choice but if its not a long term keave kids out. How would he feel about bm bring her bf around his child…if he would have a fit then he should leave gf home
Who cares. Thats on him if he doesn’t want to go. If you’re keeping her from going with that’s another story tho, at some point you have to accept he’s seeing someone else and they’re going to be around the kids
My bd brought his girlfriend (now wife) trick-or-treating with me and my now husband, and our daughter when she was younger, I didn’t like it, but I was friendly and spent the majority of the night focusing on my daughter. If he wants to be there for his child, and that is the only reason why he won’t come then I say just, I guess, not to be mean about it, but suck it up and deal with it and just say “Hello! Nice to meet you!” and focus on your kid all night. It’s one night. Your child will be too excited about trick-or-treating to spend much time with the girlfriend so if they do split up, it really won’t be a big deal because they probably won’t remember her at all.
Take your child out in your own! You do lot have to make any compromises for either of them! F that
He can take his GF trick or treating another day…
Men are AssHats!! What a Loser!!
Stand your ground!!
Because hes WEIRD. Take the baby alone.
Flavor of the week but they been together 4 months🙄Thats like 120 days of commitment. Doesn’t sound like a flavor of the week to me. It’s not about you boo. It’s about your kiddo. And it might give you an opportunity to get to know this woman and for your kid to make memories. Stop being selfish
Unfortunately you can’t control who he brings around the kids even though I totally agree with you that no one should be introduced if they haven’t been dating I’d say for 6 months to a year
I agree with you. Kids don’t need to meet and get attached to a revolving door of partners. When my son was around 2 I let him meet one guy and then it broke his heart when we broke up. I just kept him out of my love life from then on. But some people just don’t care.
Go by yourself with the kids.
I’d let him bring her so I could get a feel for who is around my child. My ex has brought women around my kid. Also, I’ve excluded myself from TorT with my bf because his ex is so nasty. Kindness goes a long way.