Baby daddy has just as much right as baby momma to say who gets to be in your babies life. You like drama. Go by yourself with your kid y’all aren’t together anymore.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. I always take my kids with my best friend it’s our tradition cause their dad isn’t a big Halloween fan at all! But. When I didn’t like his girlfriend I wouldn’t allow her around them at first but it was for real reasons. And she cleaned up her act and they’re ten years together. I like his gf more than I like him and she is wonderful to my boys! Even my oldest who wasn’t his and he still brought to his house after our split up !
One year I took them out for two hours and he met us we did three houses on the way back to my car together and I went about my business
It’s really that simple. You want control. And that’s sad cause it’s about the kids not you or him or his partner
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Co parenting comes with acceptance and compromise. Don’t be the bitter bm.
Just get over it. Sounds like you’re jealous.
If he wants to pick the 
he’s currently fucking over his actual child then let him. He knows exactly why you have reservations about it and it’s completely right on your end to have those reservations. If he’s choosing to miss out on a holiday with his child for some woman he barely knows, he’s a shit father. Take your kid out yourself and enjoy your time together! Your kid will realize soon enough that the woman who gets daddy’s rocks off is more important than them. He’s a shit father.
And for what it’s worth, my BD and I have a rule that in order to have your partner meet our child you need to be together at MINIMUM 6 months (but it’s usually longer than that) and they need to meet the other parent first without the child present. Having a revolving door or partners in and out of your child’s life is ABSOLUTELY damaging to the child.
He’s not yours anymore, quit trying to hold leash!
She’s obviously very insecure and immature. And if he wants to act like that over someone, he’s only known for a few months, then just leave it alone. Act like it doesn’t bother you and don’t make a big deal out of it so that he can’t say that you’re being problematic. And you can emphasize again that unless she’s a long-term relationship girlfriend she won’t be meeting your kid anytime soon.  And if he has a problem with that his new girlfriend can comfort him about it, lol.
Just say “ok we’ll have fun anyway”. He’s playing a power trip with you. You won’t let him have his way so he needs to take something from you, really his child. If your kid asks about him tell him simply “daddy chose to be with his gf instead of you”. Never lie or ‘sugatcoat’ things with your child. If you don’t tell the truth your child will believe his lies.
If you don’t have legal visitation drawn out stop letting him see your child. He needs to petition the court. Get it in the agreement that neither of you introduce a SO until marriage is immediate. Also add “first right if refusal”.
Then start a visitation plan that will work for everyone, rotate holidays. U do not have to accept that behavior and be uncomfortable to enjoy ur children’s events. A judge will set it straight. He is being selfish.
Honestly, you just have to let it go. My sons father met a girl and moved in with her a week later he has my son there half the week now as annoyed as I am by it no judge in the world will tell him he’s not allowed to do that as long as she’s legally, a loud around children he can have his son there. As much as you might not like it, he is the kids other parent and gets just as much say if you do dad’s arent second class citizens. 
I see both sides but just do it. I had this happen to me and it’s really fucking sucks. Because it does come with arguing rather he goes or not from you or her. And this will be a good time to do it. In public with others. For the kids ya know
OK I can kind of see both sides here. But that relationship is too new for the gf to control how he parents. Further more, she needs to get over the not allowing him to be around you unless she’s there bs, and come to terms that you’re the baby mamma, you’re always going to be in his life. I would just enjoy my kids and carry on without him. It’s not your fault he’s letting his gf control his parenting time. She sounds toxic as hell and I wouldn’t want my kids around her either.
The child is around the GF on dads parenting time? If yes then how can you say you won’t allow it?
“Flavor of the week”. Ok, Girl bye. Sounds like you’d take issue whether it was 4 months, 6 months or a year.
Garbage the kid will end up around the kids anyway if they get serious and if you keep the kid away from him just because he moved on and your jealous for one reason or another then you are disgusting. The kid knows who you are and won’t start hating you if they hang around the new girlfriend. That’s what’s wrong with the world people only think about their own feelings and don’t think about the child. It’s going to happen sooner or later so might as well let them around the new girlfriend cause if you keep the child away that child will grow to resent you for making them lose time with their father just because you can’t grow up and only think about yourself.
If he can’t see his kids without her permission and he abids by it than to bad for him. I agree with you. In 4 months I don’t think you know that person well enough get involved with your kids. Have the kids met her, do they like her? He’s choosing her because he , she doesn’t trust him, he doesn’t have the balls to let the gf know his kids are more important!
He’s going to make his own choices. He’s going to choose what’s strokes his ego. Men like that aren’t going to do the hard stuff and choose kids over fun. Kids are hard. I’d let him know what’s up and he can do it or not do it. It’s just trick or treat not that big of a deal. Kid or no kid maybe he’s not worth the drama or stress.
Quit being petty and GROW UP!
Get used to this. Don’t involve him with your events. If he wants to make plans with his kid he will.
"I can go ask a thousand strangers from random houses for candy for my kid but I can’t have a potential positive person around my kid bc they’re a stranger "
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I understand how u feel but based just on what you posted it’s his kid to and the dad has the right to have his kid around whoever he wants as long as they are not a danger to your child
If you had a boyfriend, would you want his child’s mother spending time with him while refusing to let you come? That seems weird
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Stick to your guns. She doesn’t call the shots in your life.
Honestly I wouldn’t care, especially being Halloween it would make sense if he’s with someone the kids don’t see again (lots of adults hang out with friends on Halloween too). If you really want him there, then put on your big girl panties and play nice. I think too many people have forgot how to be civil. You don’t have to like her, but you should be adult enough to be in the same room with her. OR let him miss out but that affects your child more than his little gf being there I’m sure.
You both sound childish and petty
If y’all aren’t together what difference does it make if she goes. If you don’t like her for some reason take kids without him
If he’s putting a woman over his kids let him. He will regret it eventually. We can’t change the way our BD:s act. Ive been through this same situation. His new girl didn’t want him having anything to do with me. So he chose to not see his kids. Now my kids are older and they don’t even call him daddy anymore. They don’t want anything to do with him. I’m sure they’re telling everyone I’m keeping the kids from him. They know where me and the kids live. I’ve told them they can stop by anytime. If they can’t be consistent that’s their problem. When the kids reach a certain age they’ll see who really is there.
Easy. He doesn’t go. Just you & the kids… oh well, he had to work 
So why don’t you take this opportunity to spend some time with the new GF? Technically they have been together 4 months so she isn’t the “flavor of the week.” It’s time all parties are adults and stop acting like children, you are only going to hurt your child!
You can control yourself and your actions. Stop dictating his life, you cant control him. Your child is smart and will learn quickly if daddy has people in and out of their life. As long as they arent hurting the child i feel like your request is unrealistic. It hurts your child when you make rules. I understand its his choice but again you cant control that and the child will figure it out for themselves if he chooses not to spend time with them. They will also realize you put stipulations on his time with them eventually. You are only hurting your child.
She probably wants to be there when you’re around him because you sound quite bossy and controlling🤷♀️ Trick or treating is about the CHILD, not the adults, and if the dad wants to bring his girlfriend along there shouldn’t be a problem with it🤷♀️ it’s not like they’ve been dating for 4 weeks they’ve been together for 4 months, that doesn’t sound like a flavor of the week as you say it. Sounds kind of like you have some underlying feelings still left over and that is the actual problem here…
And the child is the one that has to suffer through all of this drama because it really sounds like you’re being absolutely unreasonable.
If you can’t put your own crap aside about how you feel about your baby daddy and his new girl, for one night, so you guys can take your child trick or treating…that seems like a YOU problem that you need to work on.
Calm down petty Betty, taking your kid trick or treating is more important than worrying about who he brings with because you really have no control over it and the courts will tell you that you have no say over it, and that you’re being unreasonable
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Not all women are bad?
My sons dad was with his partner 3 months and introduced our son to her, she’s AMAZING with my son and I’m so thankful for her!
If things don’t work out between them that’s on him to explain to your child,
Don’t spite them just because you have an issue…
Why can’t she come? Introduce her as a friend of your dad’s until they get more serious. But he’s allowed to have people in his life and as long as he’s not putting kids in danger there’s no reason why they can’t be around who he’s with. Who cares if he’s with different girls all the time. As long as when the kids are around the new gfs they are decent to the kids. That’s like saying he can’t have friends over when he has the kids because he may not stay friends with that same person for long
Wow this is toxic from both of you. Grow tf up. Seriously. If you’re there too why does it matter that much? Not like the kids spending time alone with this new girl, and she could be the kids new step momma eventually, you don’t know. You’re taking away the kids opportunity to see a healthy mature coparenting relationship because you feel some kinda way. The kid is more important than your feelings girl.
This can go one of two ways. You can either continue to be the controlling ex BM or you can let your BD just bring the gf because I’m sorry to say it, your “timeline” means nothing. He could be with a woman 3 weeks who would adore your kids greatly and then with another woman for a year and she could treat them like dirt.
You have an opportunity here to maybe actually have a good relationship with his gf. And let me tell you, that goes a long way for children.
Since, assumably, their plan is to walk around with the kid and not have sex on anyone’s lawn, you’re being silly. If I were the daddy, I’d find a trunk or treat or carnival on a different day and take the kid there. You shouldn’t be in control, you are both parents. Does Daddy monitor every person or neighbor you introduce the child to? I’m never clear why one parent feels the need to control the other parent’s relationship with their child, or why they assume they have the right to.
See I would he the opposite. My baby daddy won’t be around my baby until he’s got a girlfriend. Dood be trying to slide into my DMS everytime he’s single.
Sounds like your making it about you and not the kids. Why not get to know the gf since she will be around kids
If your baby daddy is the type of guy that has a different girlfriend from time to time You must learn to except his ways if you want him in your child’s life. Teach your child about this and you must keep an open mind. Always look at these woman as here today gone tomorrow and become their social friend. Meaning that if you are socially nice then you know what is going on in his life to keep your child safe. If he has regular visits then that person is going to be in your child’s life anyway no matter how you feel. Be that smart parent to keep your child safe
Ok, so what’s more damaging-not letting your child’s father take part in a memory making moment for the child or your child meeting a new person who dating dad? Come on. Don’t be childish.
I totally get it cuz my son’s father has been I think engaged four times maybe five and married three or four times in the last 12 years And he jumps into relationships really fast like he cheated on his wife actually all his wives and immediately gets into relationships moves in with them and he broke up with his wife that he’s with for a couple years and the next weekend brought his new girlfriend to pick up our son for his time and yes I was pissed and I said some very mean words to both him and her because I know who she is and I know what she’s all about So I was quite rude but it’s his time and I can’t control what he does on his time or who he sees on his time and it totally sucks but you just kind of got to deal with it and if your kids want their dad there on Halloween I think you should allow it and if they’ve been together for 4 months that’s a lot longer than My ex has ever waited to bring any of his girlfriends around my son He does it like the next day after he breaks up with his one family he brings his new little play toy around my kid and it sucks but I have no say in it.
Why not split the night up since its that big of a deal to u u take ur kid for awhile then he gets him for awhile who cares id the gf is around if it was court ordered visitation u will not beable to control who he does or doesnt have around the child
Doesn’t your child see “the girlfriend” when baby daddy takes child on his weekends?
If he takes you court for proper contact you don’t get to pick and choose who he’s around unless the dad neglects the child and would you let your baby daddy tell you who you can have around your kid ? I doubt it
He’s not choosing the flavor of the week over the child. He’s using the flavor over the week over your high conflict demand
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It’s really not your place to dictate to him who he can and can’t introduce to your child (although I’d be inclined to agree with your thoughts around it) I personally don’t see why he needs to come trick or treating with you guys but if it’s really important to you and your child then let him bring his girlfriend? At the end of the day it’s you that is putting the barrier in place
I understand your dilemma but maybe he is wanting his daughter to get to know the GF. Maybe she is just more then the flavor of the week. He has been with her for four months now. I think that you need to move on. Sounds to me like your still stuck on him and letting your judgment of this woman stand in the way of your child spending time with her father. Don’t punish the child. Its a special time for kids on Halloween. Let her go and let go of your feelings for him. It’s only gonna make you bitter.
Control. Knock it off. You don’t get to say who dad dates. And she definitely doesn’t have to be approved by you. You want him back. And if he’s listening to her at all…ew. Y’all need to grow up. Your kid is just a pawn and it’s sad.
You just want him to go w you 
is about the kid. Not you 
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Let her come
Go without him
Or let him take the child
This is childish and it’s why kids miss out
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Girl take that baby yourself. Unless it’s court ordered day you decide. Take some pics and go about enjoying your son. Crazy how you are being called petty when she won’t let him come see his kid without her. That’s petty and insecure behavior.
I’m married and know my husband needs to see his kids and that’s his time with them
Unfortunately once we’ve made the choice to separate from someone we don’t get to run their lives. I’m a single mom and when I am dating someone they’re going to meet our son sooner than later because I only have every other weekend kid free. He gets upset but I remind him that he should trust I wouldn’t bring someone around him that isn’t good for him.
I think if you want him there you need to maybe be a bit more understanding or just go with some friends
This is a YOU problem. YOU want control of the situation, which is why you refused to let her come…I can see not allowing ur child to be with her without you there…but ur going to be there…y can’t you introduce her as a friend if ur child is too young to understand the dynamic? U sound like ur just being petty…if u both were thinking of the child first, then u would make it work…ur not making it work because u don’t want it to
Your being immature. Get over it. Let her come. If she doesnt stick around o well. Put your kid first & both of you guys need to grow up
The child is his Atwell and his opinion also matters. More silly is what makes 1 parent think they can dictate what the other parent does. Sounds like time for you both to grow up and not act like a child yourselves
In my opinion any and every person you have your child around will not be permanent including whoever his gf is. It’s not your job to dictate who he has around his kid. It’s your job to teach your kid to make her own opinions on her father based on what he allows her to see/hear. Friends come and go just like relationships and teachers, even family. Stop trying to control the other 50% of your child’s life. It will make you miserable and bitter.
That child os not going anywhere but that flavor is
That’s what douch bags do… They make you feel bad because they know they are doing bad …don’t fall for it…
So you’re mad that she wants to join in on something special for the kids? Or are you mad that you don’t get alone time with him? That’s her man. And that’s their dad. Just let her come and stop being weird. You’ll be right there too, right? Go get to know her.
Tell us you haven’t moved on without telling us…
That gf isn’t just a flavor.of the week, guarantee she’s been around your kid during dad’s time, and you have no say in that, so not sure what you actually think you’re accomplishing here
Alo he could show up with her anyways. I’m sorry maybe u can explain your case to her. Idk how long your gonna be around and I don’t want kids skipping around different gfs.
I see both sides. Your side u don’t want your kids meeting everyone…I get that. Unfortunately you can’t control who the kids are around when he has them so it’s a blessing he’s being respectful of not bringing them around the flavor of the week.
I see his side too. He might actually really like this girl and respect her so he don’t want to not listen to her about being around u. It may seem silly bc u an ex is an ex for a reason right lol but some baby mommas decide when bd gets a new person they try to steal them back like they have value or something bc they got a new girl but that’s petty. She may have come across that before.
So maybe compromise is the best option. Maybe let the new gf come but tell them no lovey dovey crap, they just act like friends.
I don’t blame you if he does have a revolving door of girlfriends.
Take your child T or T and enjoy it. Do not expose your child to his string of girlfriends. I hate the saying baby daddy. Sounds juvenile. He is your child’s dad!
Why are you trying to go trick or treat with someone else’s man without his girlfriend around?
Stop being petty and let the girl go.
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Stop being a jealous child. Invite him and move on. You’re only hurting the child that’s not even gonna remember those random women.
get over urself n let her b there. shes obviously not flavor of the week if they been together for 4 months
Oooof it will not work out in your favor with you trying to control him. If he’s smart he’ll take you to court then you’ll have zero say about a lot of things when the child is with him on his parenting time.
Why are you arguing about this. Just go on with your child trick or treating stop worrying about him and his flavor.
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He’s not choosing her over your child. You are creating a nasty environment. I don’t know anyone who willingly goes trick or treating with their ex… he doesn’t want to be around you. He wants to be around his gf and his kid. You’re not allowing it so he’s not going to be there… if I were her I wouldn’t want him around you either… you sound jealous and toxic. Do you expect him to spend Christmas with you too? Cause if so he’s never going to see his kid
Sounds like a YOU problem why would you not want someone else to love your children? Let her come hundreds of people will be walking around they won’t even be focused on the girlfriend they will be focused on trick or treating
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Truth… unless this female is a bad person or treats your child in a bad way you should not interfere with his relationships. In truth your words make you sound a bit toxic and demanding. Labeling people as flavor of the month because you used to be is wrong and makes you look like the jealous ex. Your not wanting this to happen has nothing to do with this female or your kid… it’s all you boo…
My point being, do t create boundaries until they are warranted. It’s his child too, you did not make them alone and if he wants to be a part in any fashion you need to let it happen till there is an absolute reason not to….
Your opinion or beliefs are not a valid reason if they are one sided…
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While I see everyone point of view I’m not sure they are seeing that if the gf can’t got he can’t go 
kinda sad but do what u feel is best for u at the end of the day if his girl acts like that can’t say he will be around much with u there …
I understand where you coming from but try and think of it like this from different angles and see what how you feel then like Making memories is what counts even if it is the mama who makes sacrifices and let’s a gf be around their Child, at least you get to know her a little at the same time, and your baby will have these memories and it will be because you decided to let her come for a little while so that your baby can have a good memory if it is so bad that he never does anything with his child without his gf your child will know that and see that and it won’t be because of you.
Sounds like she is also being a bit childish telling him he can’t spend this day with his child unless she can be there please get over it that is his kid and should always be put above anyone else especially a gf that has only been around a few months.
Why can’t she go? Kids need to see yall as a family unit. Grow up. It’s about the kids not you
You don’t worry about his and hers toxic relationship. I’ve learned after almost 7 years, it’s a waste of time. If dad won’t put girlfriend in her place, and make his kid a priority. She has insecurity issues because she knows somethings off. You know him well enough to know that he jumps from one girl to the next. It’s not your problem girlfriend. And you cannot make that man be a real man or a father to his child. He wants control and he wants to play games. Take your baby trick-or-treating. Don’t say anything about dad a girlfriend. You take your baby trick-or-treating. You have a good time. You document every time that he does something stupid. Keep all the evidence. If you’re in the state of Georgia legally, you can record all phone calls as long as you know your recording. And just let him keep screwing up. You worry about raising your kid. And let him go be miserable. I promise you that’s what he is. He might look like he’s happy superficially on the outside. But he has not found the filament if he has not found a solid relationship. And you protecting your child from someone you don’t know until they are comfortable around the girlfriend or a.k.a. future stepparent. Especially if he has a revolving door of women. My advice is to just let go of trying to make him come see your child. If he really really wanted time with his child, he would man up and tell whoever he’s dating that he’s going to see his child, and they need to get over it. Plus, it’s not healthy for the child to have an over obsessive controlling stepparent. What does the babies daddy have to lose? He can go find another one just as easily as he found the others. It’s not like he sees value in any of them. 
To be honest your not doing anything wrong, mothers and fathers should not be bringing new partners around the kids until after they get to know them (past the honeymoon phase) it’s not fair to the kids if people are coming and going in there lives. And there is a lot of people who seek out single moms and dads to get access to the children. Plus abusive people don’t show there true colours right away. My spouse and I have agree that if we separate that neither of us will bring new partners around our kids until a minimum of 6months into the relationship.
I would suggest talking to your baby daddy and his women. Explain that you are looking out for your child’s best interest. As frustrating as it is if he choices his new partner over his child that shows where his priorities lies. You can’t make someone be active in there child’s life if they don’t want to
Then he don’t go don’t worry that he don’t wanna go take your little and you guys go sad when people put relationships over their kids I have done the same before gotta do what you gotta do
Stop worrying about him. Would your children be happy he’s there?? Let it go. It’s not about u. Ur lucky he isn’t taking u to court tbh.
Get over him and stop inviting him like yall fam
Everyone is addressing Mom’s so called jealousy and controlling behavior… yet the girlfriend is made out to be a saint when she doesn’t want him to go around the mother of his child unless she is there… if this relationship lasts, it’s surely not going to be a very healthy one. There mom doesn’t have jealousy issues, the girlfriend does… mom is concerned because she knows how he is with changing girlfriends constantly and why would she want someone to join who has that attitude towards her and won’t allow 2 parents to coparent properly? If he is going to allow that, he should really man up, he’s letting new girlfriend dictate things when it comes to his child and co-parenting.
Let me ask you this, how do you have the right to decide which “flavor of the week” will work and which one won’t? 4 months is a quarter of a year. How do you decide how long the amount of time needs to be? When I met my bonus son’s dad I met my son and his mother at the same time for the first time. It was 2 months into our relationship. She said the same things you are now, that it wouldn’t work out, now we are 6 years together, 2 years married with 2 kids of our own. You may think it’s not a good idea to have the new woman around your kid, but making your child miss out on time with his father solely because you clearly have a problem with him having a new girl is going to be worse for your kid than meeting the new woman is. If they been together 4 months then it sounds to me like it’s time for you to introduce yourself and get to know one of your children’s potential care givers cause you can’t keep the kids from him forever.
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She obviously isn’t flavor of the week if she’s been there 4 months. Your feelings are hurt get over it. It’s about your child not you.
I was willing to go on a limb for him, until we got to how controlling the girl is. Fuck that, she ain’t gonna be around long. I’m with you.
i say let her go so u yourself can she how she is and make your own opinion about her … most guys don’t want the new gf around the baby mama so the fact that he does should say something . also why would u want to trick or treat together you guys aren’t together . i know some ppl won’t agree with me. but I for one don’t wanna trick or treat with my ex … either he’s taking ny kid or I am ! but that’s just my opinion . u not wanting her to come cuase it’s only been 4 months is kinda petty … how are u gonna know if it’s a good fit if not everyone is around to find out ? So let her join and u bring a friend or sister or someone so u ain’t the third wheel lol
Well you are kinda doing it too. Just say okay fine. Learn to be an adult. Learn how to coparent. It’s only for a couple hours. Sometimes ya just got to let the dumb shit go.
Because most baby daddies are stupid. I would never let anyone or anything come between my children and I! His loss! I wouldn’t push it, just go without him and the insecure flavor of the week.
Why can’t he go trick-or-treating with his child by himself then? U don’t have to be there
Just go without him then. If he’s acting like a fool then he’s not needed
You both should focus on putting your child first. He shouldn’t need his gf to accompany him, and you shouldn’t refuse to allow your child to meet someone he’s dating. The child doesn’t need to be left alone with this person so it’s just meeting someone who their dad is spending time with. Although, for something that is a yearly holiday activity and only a couple hours…nobody else really needs to attend. You could split the trick or treat time…or do separate days in different neighborhoods. If you don’t make the gf a big deal to your kid at the first meeting…your kid won’t likely be affected.
I totally get your point of view. It isn’t always about just being nasty towards BD. My ex always had new GF, every few months and I totally understand,when you don’t want your child getting close to this girl, for BD to just rip them out of their lives in a few months. Then bring in another and do it again, to me that is teaching your child that it’s ok to have several relationships and be a player, and just leave ppl. I always said, they had to be together for at least 6months and with pure intentions on staying together before he could bring anyone around my son. I mean BD couldn’t even stick around his son for 6 months at a time. I say stick to your ground, have boundaries!!!
You should both stop being childish and make the night about the kid, regardless of who’s there or isn’t there.
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Youre gonna have to go to mediation to have stuff set. Me and my ex decided in mediation that no significant others would be introduced unless wed been together 6 months or more. But without a court order. He can have anyone he wants arlund his child during his parenting timw
4 months is decent time. It would be better if it were 6 to a year but it wont be that by trick or treat. You may feel like hes chosing his gf over you or the child but i can see his side. But all i care is the childs side. Do you live in an area that has cities do beggars night and some nights are on a different night? If so i would take the child one night amd let him have the child another night. If not you could split up the night. Where i am it can be hard to get contempt even if you have it written in that the gf cant met the child until a year bc most judges tell us that we as parents have a right to chose who is in our childrens lives and unless they have a history of child abuse or you can prove child abuse you cant just alienate a child to their parent bc you dont want them around someone. If you feel you have to be introduced dont be a hypercrite and think he doesnt need to be introduced to anyone youre with. And i dont mean just an SO either. Theres not enough info here for me to take 100% your side. I think a compromise needs to be made and i have it in here about what could he done that specific night. Bc before you know it ots going to be thanksgiving and then xmas and hopefully he can keep a steady realtionship with her so you can use that flimsy excuse of not been with her long enough bc 4 months is pretty good. Better than my ex whose max was 3 months or less. And usually less.
Its your child
To hell with the dad
If that’s his options let him not come
Bitter baby daddy that one
So then he won’t be there. Why are you so hung up on him coming. Your child won’t even notice by the time y’all get to the first door. 
I wouldn’t let her come at all. The fact she demands to be there and “he isn’t allowed” already screams she will cause issues. Nah fk her and him. I wouldn’t have that drama on Halloween.
The things I read:woman_facepalming:t2:
first of all why would you want him to come with you, it’s like your wanting him to, now if he’s voluntarily wanting to go and Participate whether you like it or not that woman is in his life, this might be the one that’s in his life permanently, its literally just a trick or treat it’s not like he’s asking her to baby sit for the whole night by herself with the child! When a child is brought into the world it’s not about anyone anymore except that child, learn how to co-parent.
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I get both aspects of this as a mom and step mom. I was forbidden to meet my spouse’s children until the mother thought it was okay. Reality was I wasnt allowed until she had a new man and introduced her children to a man after a few short weeks. She brought new guys around all the time. I was with my spouse for 5 months at that point.
On the other hand my ex husband I wanted to put ground rules down because I didn’t trust that he had the children’s best interest at heart. He was being selfish in my opinion. It took a couples years to get over, but in the long run I realized that even though they were my kids I couldn’t try to control both angles for my kids. When I realized that how their dad acts is actual teaching my children a life lesson also I became not so stressed. There all types of people in the world. Examples of mom and dad. You get to chose the type that you want to show the world. No way is wrong. It is just not how I do things. And dad doesn’t do things how I would them. No woman has been rude or anything to my children. That’s all that I wanted.
My exhusband passed away 3 months ago. 3 of his girlfriends were at the funeral crying, and I was thankful that my children got to lean on them at times and talk about stories with them that I wasnt around for. They experienced those moments with said girlfriend and their dad.
Life is crazy and holding grudges and doing what is best for your child at times is an excuse. 4 months is long enough. Maybe your ex won’t like how the new girl and child get along and you are prolonging their relationship because you haven’t let that situation happen yet. I would hate for someone to control my actions just because I had a kid with them. Let the emotions go. It will be okay. I promise.
Oh my goodness! Not baby daddy related exactly but my father is the man you are describing broke my damn heart. It’s one heck of an event and I am pretty sure I’ll never forgive him. I’ll still have a relationship with him but if someone were to show their true colors the week of Halloween and my only son’s first and only birthday was the 29th and we knew unless a huge miracle happened it would be the only birthday he’d see. I tried to plan a whole week of fall festivities and while he did drive 500 miles to get here… first time meeting him he stayed 3 days and saw my son for less than 2 hrs and also brought his flavor of the week and asked if they could stay at my house that was mid remodel and put to a halt because my son being sick and immunocompromised. I didn’t start this visitation. I’d have preferred my dad come while my son was still in the hospital so he could be monitored. We all could leave the hospital but just stay close. He invited himself when he wanted to come and then didn’t even come to his little tiny party we had and my mom (also not very selfish when it came to her grandson) didn’t either bc she thought my dad was going to be there with a random crackhead and she didn’t have a date and would have only known me and my husband. Party at my in laws house but they welcome w open arms. Kicker to this different than op, is that flavor of the week was invited to everything except overnight and the only reason my was originally invited is cause it’d have just been him and he could have crashed on the couch. Hell she could have came and slept on the living room floor but at the time our home just wasn’t set up for overnight guests. We were actually using the living room as our son needed a lot of space for medical equipment and round the clock care. We hadn’t even unpacked yet.
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He’s not he is an immature asshole who wants his cake and eat it to pls pls for the kids sake go alone my husband never went with us stayed home to give out candy big difference not just a BD but a husband rethink your life girl friend