Let me start this off with some backstory…it’s a pretty screwed up story so bear with me. My best friend of 15 years moved in with my husband and I about 3 years ago. Things were great for a while and then all of a sudden I started getting weird vibes with her and my husband…I would walk in on them whispering things to each other…both of them holding their phones and texting at the same time, both of them would be out of the house at the same time (supposdely not together). One day, we were all supposed to head out to a water park (my husband and I share 2 daughters, 2 & 5) and all of a sudden my husband and my best friend got in a car and LEFT. two minutes later I got a text from my best friend that her and my husband were in love and they were leaving together…at first I thought they were joking but then it all just came crashing down on me and i realized it was NOT a joke…everything made sense. They didnt come back for an entire week and i heard nothing from them…when they came back my husband obviously asked me for a divorce and i was more than happy to give it to him…but he also kicked me out of our house (only his name was on the lease so I had to leave) and they basically told me i have to get used to it because they were in love and she wasn’t going anywhere…it has been a year and i still am not okay with this…they expect me to come over with my kids and act like everything is okay and all of this is normal…am i supposed to get over this and pretend like everyhting is okay since it has been so long? I am happy without him but i still feel some type of way when i have to go over there to get our girls…like is it normal for me to just accept this? Do i have to accept this to be happy? HELP MEEE
I let my ex-husband’s friend (our coworker), move in with us. I’m pregnant with baby#1. They get closer, spend more time together, family gets concerned. I brush it off saying they just have the same hobbies and its two friends who get to enjoy friend time more since they live together.
Baby is born, 4 months later he comes home from work one day at 4am and says he is in love with the roommate. I have to leave with baby and sleep in a playpen with my baby at his sister’s house until i give up my pride and admit to my mom my marriage failed and the family was right about his infidelity.
Two weeks later i find out im pregnant with baby#2 and he tells me then that he officially wants a divorce and i loose everything to him and her.
You will not ever get “over it” officially. There will always be a grudge. What is important is focusing on you and your kids and growing from the experience. Honestly it made me a more independent stronger mom.
Our first baby is now 4, our son just turned 3. He is expecting a baby with her now as well this year. You will find it better for your mental health not to fight over every little thing with them. You don’t have to like them, you just have to be civil. And because you share children you really need to focus on the kids instead of your emotional wants. The kids will watch how you all interact with each other. They will see behaviors and emotions and it will affect their whole lives and how they approach big issues like this if they ever face them.
We are now at the point in our lives where we can be nice to each other even in private away from the kids and the kids get the benefit of all of us being there for them. It’s not easy, it isn’t fair but you do it because your a parent and that comes first.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My best friend ran off with my ex-husband, do I have to accept this?
Coparent with your ex, you dont need to do anything with his gf, weither she was a part of your life before or not
Na. Fuck them. You never HAVE to be okay with a situation on person. She was your best friend and he was your husband. They betrayed you. You need to be cordial with him for your kids sake. But fuck her.
What you need to do is take care of you. They both hurt you and now expect for you to cater to THEIR needs. Sounds very manipulative. Kinda like have my cake and eat it too. Take whatever time you need to heal and where you want to go with it is up to you. However you will have to be civil with your ex as a co parent. Being civil does NOT mean being their bestie. Just means communication about the kids and their needs.
Nope you don’t have to accept it. Coparent with your ex and that’s it. Your “best friend” did you dirty.
Girl set up a meeting location with just him. File for support and tell the courts he cheated and u wan support As well
That wasn’t your friend . A friend shouldn’t want what they friend had PERIODT . Best friend became EX-friend FIRED
Co-parent…don’t socialize. NO you do not have to accept this! What they did to you and your children is evil.
Ugh I am so sorry that is such betrayal from 2 of the most important people in your life …
U do not have to go to his home. He has to go by your terms to co parent YOUR daughters… Obviously he did not care about the kids when he was screwing what im sure they considered a aunt.
I’d still be upset! It would be hard to get over. You lost your best friend and husband, even if you no longer have feelings for him. I’m not saying to find someone else to heal your pain, but I think once you do, you’ll feel better. You DO NOT have to speak to her at all. She is disgusting and a waste of space.
I think you should go to therapy as I truly believe if you ever do get into another relationship what was done to you will effect you. You will have trust issues and whatnot
Oh hell to the motherfricking no
Just deal with your ex about your kids and leave it at that. Your bestie obviously was not your bestie as she wouldn’t have done that to you. He cheated on you so one day she may come back crying as he cheated on her. Take care of you and kids.
Can’t you grant him a divorce but sue him for cheating on you?
My ex-husband wanted me to be friends or civil to the chick he cheated on me with. Nope. What’s wrong with people?? I mean I kinda co-parent with him but I refuse to have to do anything with her. I don’t involve the kids tho
You’re better than me because I’d be in prison for homicide. Obviously I have no good advice😂
you’re not doing yourself any favors still dwelling. i’d get over and move past it.
Wow…you’re so much better off without them. Of course you have to coparent, but you do not need to do more than that. They both did you extremely wrong…and to kick YOU out of your home, when you were kind enough to allow this so called friend to move in. Yea…no you do not have to accept it. Set up a meeting place and keep communication only about the kids.
Fuck no! You never have to accept toxic disgusting behavior! Co parent with him but tell the snake to fuck off.
I am so incredibly sorry for I r what you’ve put through. How confusing this has to be for your 5 year old. You have to coparent with your ex, you do not have to interact with your former friend. I’d consider having the visitation agreement modified to meet somewhere for pickups so you do not have to go to the home.
Co-parent. Don’t socialize. They are wrong. You may have to accept that your ex is seeing your former friend, but you don’t have to be dragged into it. They are both reprehensible humans.
Ummm that’s a big NO!!! This was wrong on every level! Set up a place to meet for your kids file for child support and coparent and be civil!! Then you straighten your crown 
and walk and be the queen you was meant to be! Show them both what a real woman looks like!! Best of luck momma!
You can sue her for alienation of affection in some states.
You don’t have to accept it but you do need to coparent with him for the next 13/16 years. No need to socialize with them either. You need to meet a spot for pickups and drop offs for there’s no need to go to his house.
You don’t have to do shit. You’re only hurting yourself and your children hanging onto this anger and resentment though. Your time and energy would be better invested with your individual therapist and learning how to move forward unburdened by other peoples shitty attitudes and behaviors. File for child support and parenting time with the court and just stick to the order. You don’t have to give this situation your emotional energy.
Absolutely do NOT have to accept It! Put your foot down and you do what makes YOU comfortable. They are the ones at fault for your unhappiness and they definetly do not deserve any respect. As far as the kids go…he can meet you somewhere alone to do the exchange. What a best friend! She’s trash.
I feel like eventually it will be the right thing for the kids if everyone could be civil but you don’t have to be friends and hang out by any means! That was a messed up thing for them to do and for them to act like you should just get over it is heartless.
Nooooooo!!! Drop off the kids and go take care of yourself.
Keep your head up girl u ever heard the wise tale??? The way u get a man is the way u will loose him. When he gets sick of her or she bears his child, his eyes will wonder bc hes a boy not a man. Then he will do to her what was done to u! To her, karma is a bad b*tch
I’m sorry but this right here is how people get HURT.
Omg I am so sorry. I couldn’t even imagine.
He’s your ex. Let her have him. Make them both your ex
Accept it but trust neither of them ever again. Move on
Go through the courts and get child support as well as to set up an order for visitation supervised by you, in the neutral location of your choosing and without her present.
If you explained the situation to a judge and your attorney, I have no doubt that they would side with you.
I’m sorry for you and your children to have to deal with this miserable excuse for a man and father.
You don’t have to do anything. I still get angry about how my ex was throughout our marriage and divorce process and my life is 1000x better without him. However, it is important Not to show your kids those kinds of emotions.
But hate them for the rest of you life if you want to. They deserve it. You deserve to be able to get past it and have peace… but if you don’t want to thats your choice.
First, I am so so sorry you went thru and are still going thru this. No you don’t have to accept it and act like it’s normal! They both did you dirty. Acting like everything is normal is doing nothing but repeatedly tearing of the scam on what they did. Go thru court and set up a meeting place to exchange the kids, and ask for support if you don’t already get it. I pray healing over you for all the hurt and betrayal they have done to you
That’s so sh*tty of them!!!
Coparent, but forget all the warm & fuzzy crap.
Remember, that’s not how best friends or husbands & wives treat each other. And most importantly, you don’t want that in your life, they deserve each other.
Head high, be cordial (set good examples for your kids) but screw them!!
You have every right to have your feelings
Go over and visit as if nothing had happened? No, it did…… they will get what they both deserve……
Best on children, talk to a lawyer, and get that legal advice.
Sorry this happened to you but you don’t have to accept anything meet some where public just you and him to exchange your kids keep the parenting of your children between you and him that’s it’s
If ur happy without him that’s already a win 
but it doesn’t mean u need to be ok with her or him. Personally I would never go around them or be cool w them I’d just pick up my kids n that’s it. There’s no reason I would need to be around them. I understand sometimes ppl fall in love and don’t care about who they hurt and it’s not the first or last. But it’s the betrayal for me
Also, if you live in one of the few states that allow you to sue for alienation of affection go for it. You took her into your home and she thanked you by sleeping with your husband. She deserves any bs that can come her way.
I would be just civil for the kids sake but no I would not forgive them or look at them the same. They both sound like grommets to me with no respect for u and your kids and what that have just done
For your sake you need to accept what happened and move on. It’s way easier said than done and it will take time. Coparent with as little communication as possible.
And this my friends is why we can’t trust any one!!!
This is what I would have done but then I’m a vindictive bitch over stuff like this 
honestly just ignore them and do drop off and pick ups, all communication is about the kids and nothing else
Absolutely no reason you have to remain friends with either of them. Be civil drop your kids off and leave. Just be a mom and screw them
They both betrayed you, the only thing you can be is civil for the sake of the children. I would keep interaction to a bare min. And enjoy your life, shes taken your trash out, if he will cheat on the mother of his children, he will cheat on anyone. Karma 
Why would you be in the wrong here? Don’t let them guilt trip you and make you feel bad because they both did you dirty. Definitely have to coparent and be civilish for the kids but you do not owe them another moment of your worry and you don’t owe them any type of friendship. They burned you.
To hell with the both of them i would bring hell to there lives as much as i could screw them
First off you should’ve never ever let another woman move into your home sorry this is happened to you
Karma will meet them one day. You will never accept this and you will find your way in life. In time.
Except it, yes. It’s reality. Support it? Absolutely not. Co parent. Deal with him as your kids father, but nothing further. No cook outs, no hanging out, none of that mess. Swap kids, discuss things about the kids, that’s it! I’d be done with that trash
No. She’s probably going to end up with a half porch and get what she deserves.
Why would you leave !
You absolutely did not have to leave ! 
That was your residence.
Moving forward, with friends like that who needs enemies!
No you are not supposed to just “get over’ such a terrible betrayal from both of them! I would not be dropping my kids off and acting like everything is normal. I would make him meet me alone somewhere for trade off! You should not have that rubbed in your face! I feel so sorry for you and your kids. Maybe many years down the road it’s something you can learn to live with but I’m sure you will never just get over it! Karma is a bitch though. Your ex friend and ex husband will get what’s coming to them one way or another I promise you.
You don’t have to agree to accept. You can’t change what has happened or how they act. However, that doesn’t mean you need to be friendly and kiss their @$$. Only discuss anything that has to do with the kids. No hanging around. Insulate the kids from this adult drama as much as possible. Oh and therapy… it helps
Play hard ball. No way!!!
Thats where you messed up…both at fault. Letting her stay at your place and him for allowing it. No advice here.
Wow… that’s a POS friend. Sorry you’re going through that!
Someone told me one time if someone doent want to be with you …let that be ok after all I want someone to be with me who really wants to be !!! I know you are just looking for closure like we are sorry…or something like that…
Bare with me here.
I would’ve beat. Her. Ass. What the hell. Karma is a beautiful thing though.
You don’t need to accept anything. You don’t need to be friends but coparent healthy no matter how much it hurta
First off when your married it doesn’t matter who is on the lease your entitled to be there and he can NOT kick you out. Second of all are you divorced? I wouldn’t speak to him period unless it was concerning the kids. I would drop off and pick up and there is no reason to get out of the car he can come get them. HELL no I wouldn’t be ok with it. Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around. Just sit back and wait he will do it to her if he did it to you.
You did NOT have to leave the house, regardless of it being in only his name. You were married and had lived there for more than 30 days. But since you’ve been gone a year, that’s not the issue at this point.
No, you absolutely do not have to accept what they did. Not at all. With that being said though, let it go. Yes, it was shitty of both of them, but it’s over and done with. Focus on your own happiness. Find someone who treats you like you’re the only one in the world. The best revenge is to let them see you happier than you’ve ever been. They’re both liars and cheaters. They deserve each other and you deserve better. As far as you going over there, limit any and all communication to pick up/drop off and keep it directly related to the kids.
You can forgive to make yourself happy again. That doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend. Be civil and do what’s best for you and the kids. Forgiveness is for your sake, not theirs.
Get a lawyer bc in most states, once married, he can’t just kick you out. I’d fight for the house/apartment.
Get a lawywr. Immediately. And have them include YOUR court fees be paid by him bc he cheated. Keep all texts.
Now, play civil but have it in ur divorce that he is to have no guests during visitation if you stay. Or overnight guests if your kids stay.
Now, you have to study divorce, visitation and custody laws for your state. It’s alot but it will help you to know. Read. Re-read and re-read again.
Girl drop the babies off and get lunch do some shopping get a mani. Do you, you have to eventually accept it but you were betrayed. Your allowed to be angry. Be civil but you dnt need to be buddy buddy.
Sorry this happened to you,and your entitled to your feelings. If it hasn’t gone through the court yet,I would drop them not go in and wait in car picking them up…God Bless you🙏
And advice for later in life, roommates are a terrible idea, no matter how close you are to that person.
That was never your friend. That was her intention the whole time. And your ex is a POS. I’m sorry you had to go thru that.
But you do not at all have to accept it. You were royally screwed over. Your life was turned upside down and then you got slapped in the face with it. Eff all that. I’d move far far away and never let them around you or your kids. Because why on earth should you be ok with letting your kids stay around a homewrecking couple pieces of trash.
You never let another woman, friend or not, move in…but then again you helped your husband show his true colors. True friends don’t do that though, she played the fiddle for sure
You don’t have to accept anything, it’s not like they took your feelings into consideration… And she’s not your best friend, even the way they told you was vile… You owe them nothing.
I’m so sorry but if he could be lead away so easy then she did you a favor he will do the same to her given time ! you are better off without him try to find peace you deserve so much better and the way it was done I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to go over there. I have found that when this is done to you they really don’t care about the hurt they leave behind including the kids so try to move on easier said than done live a life that makes you happy things will get better
Absolutely not, I would not be okay with it!!! Like other people said, be civil for the kids.
You fucked up by letting her move in this is on you not us so suck it up
Woah. What a betrayal. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Absolutely okay to not be okay with it. How disgusting. How your ex best friend isn’t absolutely ashamed of herself is beyond me
You should have never moved her in but the damage is done now. Move on and dont even entertain what they have. It will hurt but just focus on you and the girls it will get better.
you better make sure karma works against them…dont make anything easy…
Petty Alisha says find someone who would add him on Facebook, make him fall in love with them and text her the screenshots saying “Don’t feel special, he would do the same thing to you.” But mature Alisha says, you don’t need this baggage and in order for you to feel at peace you need to find a way to let go of what has happened. This takes time, but therapy could help if you’re struggling.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know the feeling. My now ex husband cheated on me and had 2 kids in the middle of our marriage. It’s not easy. And I don’t know if you ever get past the hurt and what happened. But you have to try and move past it for yourself. It takes a lot of self work to be ok again. Mines happened 5 yrs ago and I keep finding more and more out and each time it just makes me so mad.
They are treating you like a doormat. I WOULD NOT accept their relationship but would be civil for the children’s sake. Time to find a real man.
Yeah no way. I’d never hang out with them ever. I’d say very little during pick up and drop off and if also block that bbtisnbdueitch dude. That’s wrong.
ⁱ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ… ᵗʳᵃˢʰ ᵗᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗˢᵉˡᶠ ᵒᵘᵗ… ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵃⁱᵈ ᵘʳˢᵉˡᶠ ᵘʳ ʰᵃᵖᵖⁱᵉʳ … ˢᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗˢ ᵃ ʰᵘᵍᵉ ʷⁱⁿ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ᵇᵒᵒᵏˢ … ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵒᵏ ʷⁱᵗʰ ⁱᵗ… ᵇᵘᵗ ⁱ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵃᶜᶜᵉᵖᵗ ⁱᵗ ʸᵃ i ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵃʳᵉ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ… ᵇᵘᵗ ⁱ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵉ ᶜᵒᵒˡ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵉⁱᵗʰᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉᵐ …ᵖⁱᶜᵏ ᵘᵖ ᵏⁱᵈˢ …ᵈʳᵒᵖ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵏⁱᵈˢ…ᶜᵒⁿᵛᵉʳˢᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵏⁱᵈˢ…
I would definitely go through the courts for a pickup and drop off order in place
send them a thank you letter every year, she did you a favor - real men don’t cheat!
Not at all, take him to court for visitation with only you and kids, if you’re in your own place and employed or have income get a lawyer, file for joint custody, you have legal rights, their your kids
I just wanna say I am so fckn sorry. Nobody should ever have to deal with that kind of betrayal from their husband and best friend.
Also, I wouldn’t listen to any of my own advice because I tend to not make the best decisions when I’m angry/hurt. But I would have dragged everybody assssss, somethin fierce! I know it solves nothing and probably would have only made things worse. Which is why I mentioned don’t listen to my dumb ass. I just haddd to express it though because sis, I’m so fckn angry for you.
Boss up on both of them though. And don’t let them see your pain. Even on the hardest days. What’s done is done and all you can do is show them the dope, loyal queen they both lost and sit back and let karma do its good work! Praying for your strength baby. 
You should have made him evict you. You have rights.
And definitely seek counseling. I’d avoid that situation for some time.
That Paradise is not going to last 
… they both are always going to be suspicious of the other ( because how they did you 
) he’ll have it in the back of his head that if she could do that to her own Bestie… she’ll do it to him / same with cheater girl, she’s gonna feel that same way w/ him. No Peace 
or satisfaction for them 2 want last !!! You do you & keep your head up- Raise your girls -carry on with a happy and satisfying life without those two… they dug a hold that you can’t plant a flower 
over
That is NOT normal! First of all, that “best friend” of 15 years obviously was no true friend at all, or she never would have moved in on your husband!! I would absolutely NO longer accept her as my friend and have nothing to do with her ever again! Your now ex should frankly be ashamed of himself! He committed to YOU and then hooked up with your best friend! That’s just sick! Give him parental rights if he wants them, just cuz he is allowed that. But do it legal through the courts. Get him for child support and alimony and don’t go over unless you’re picking up or dropping off the kids, and even then, only do that. No need to hang out with either after what they did! You need to heal and go find a real man! Good luck!!
No, you don’t have to be ok with this. Your ex best friend is complete scum… And you are perfectly in the right to feel that way about her. Your ex husband is too…
Don’t hangout with them. Ever. Drop the kids off and leave…don’t communicate with her at all. Only the ex husband… And leave it to only about the kids.
He’s going to cheat on her too…it’s just a matter of time…and when that time comes… She’ll come running to you… Don’t let her back into your life when that happens.
Keep it cordial and clipped. Only interact during pick up and drop off. Neither deserve any energy. They want you to accept it so they can feel less guilty.
Been there… my best friend was also my childcare provider & ran a inhome daycare. My twins were 11 months old & I was 8 months pregnant with my son back in 2000. My baby daddy & my best friend decided to have a affair while I worked 12 hour shifts. I was blind to it until it was too late & they ran off together & wanted me & kids to live with them as one big happy family. I think not! still 22 years later it hurts my heart & I don’t trust women easily
Take him to court for full custody , and child allowance , and while at divorce , sue him for emotional damage, amongst many other things … make his life a living hell
No you dont have to accept it. They both did the dirty on you and i wouldnt forgive or forget.
Well u gotta deal with it in whatever way u need weather that means accepting or whatever but that’s for u …f them btw thats dirty and nasty and certainly would take me longer then a yr to move past that special with someone I had kids with…my ex was dirty too but not quiet like that…I’m sorry what a shit situation!
BABBYYYY…I’m too petty for all of this 
I would wreak havoc on them until they couldn’t bear the site of me.