Ookay. So my best friend is getting married. She wants me to be her maid of honor. She has no kids and has a good bit of income. She likes the extravagant and nicer things in life. I, however, am able to make ends meet and maybe a bit extra but nothing crazy. I have a child as well. She wants to go to another state for her bachelorette party for days. In a perfect world of course I’d love to be there but I’m feeling so guilty knowing I can not afford to go. It’s so much pressure trying to be there for her but truly I don’t have that kind of money. Even having the makeup and hair done for the wedding it may be $300. I can’t do that. I told her I can go without the professional makeup. I just feel so bad. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I just don’t know how to stop being guilty, not being able to be that best friend who can be there every step of the way.
you need to be completely honest with her now, explain everything and then she can decide whether or not she will pay for everything to keep you in the wedding party, if not then you step aside and let her get someone else to be maid of honor. You can not and should not have to stress yourself over this but you do need to be completely open and honest with her now
If she is a real best friend she would understand and I agree with Robyn Miller’s comment xo I hope it all works out darling.
Tell her the truth and if she wants you to be by her side badly enough she will pay for it.
My maid of honor and was broke and I paid for her everything to be in my wedding. Just come clean.
Tell her to read this post
I was a broke bridesmaid once……it was a miserable experience. I kept trying to explain I was in a tough place in life that I was doing my best she tried to be understanding to my face but the bride and other bridesmaids where assholes about it. Years later I wish for everyone I would have dropped out I was young a felt guilty but dropping out would have been the best choice I could have made!
Speak up. If she’s really your best friend she will understand.
Not sure how yall best friends and she doesn’t realize the burden and stress being put on you. Again if she wants you to be in her wedding she will help you financially
Live your life on your budget, not someone elses…tell her the expenses are out of your budget, and you will not be attending…living your life your way will bring out your real friends…
If she is your friend, she knows this. She should do everything she can to make this easy for you. Do you have child care for her party ?? If not, there’s your excuse.
If she’s Truly a “Best Friend” then she should be fully aware of your struggles and not put you in a position to have too decline…I mean, that’s just bizarre to me that she’d expect you to be able to accommodate her. So if she doesn’t know about your life and financial challenges, and has to be told now, then prepare yourself for the true colors of how she reacts. If it’s a negative reaction, then a True friend she is Not.
Be honest with your friend , she will understand . And go stand beside her on her big day 
Just ask her if it would be a stress on her with you possibly not being able to afford everything she may possibly want? It’s not rude. Just asking her to make sure you won’t cause extra stress and let’s her know it’s ok to choose someone else and you’d still be there every step of the way.
If she’s your bf she should know this already.
Having money is not being the best best friend. Being honest , kind and understanding is being the best best friend. If you are really best friends just tell her and Never feel guilty!
Say no, offer to do a reading instead You’ll respect each other in the long run be completely truthful
Just be honest with her, love. My best friend was in the same boat and we went cheap and I paid for a lot. It wasn’t a big deal. I was just happy to celebrate with her If she is truly your best friend, that goes way deeper than money. And if she doesn’t respond well, the heartache is real but you would know where her heart is at. I hope you can sit down and be honest and you are pleasantly surprised by her response
Have a good heart to heart with her. If she truly loves you, she will understand. If she doesn’t understand, tell her that you have to decline but wish her the best and then find friends who will accept you for who you are and not for what you can provide financially
I agree with ALOT of women on here. Be Honest an tell her , I am sure she will understand. Good Luck, I am sure everything will work out.
Be honest with her! She wants you to stand up for her at her wedding which says so much about how much she values your friendship.
You decline and tell her you don’t have the available funds to be Maid of honor and travel without taking out of the mouth of your child, and yourself. And leave it at that. I think people are quite self centered when making plans such as these and expecting others to drop what they have to do to do for them. The world doesn’t revolve around the bride honey.
if she is your best friend then she knows your financials I assume… I would just be honest with her and go from there…
You need to be honest with her , if she consider you to be her best friend she will understand .
Explain everything to her. Write down each thing you pay for and how much you make and show how much extra you have each month.
If she’s a real best friend she’ll understand, but, if she’s not then she’ll get mad.
You need to tell her now instead of later tho
I lost my old “best friend” in this exact situation… I had 2 kids pregnant with my 3rd and I was completely honest and it back fired on me and now we don’t speak at all… people’s true colors always show I guess… good luck
Um if she is your BEST friend. Then she should understand when you tell her you need to have a talk with her about your financial status. Not everyone can afford all that. And it’s ridiculous brides expect the bridal party to be able to afford a trip, hair, make up, dress and all the responsibility that comes with being in a wedding. I just spent roughly $300 to be in a wedding. The Bachelorette party was to go to a concert. I did not go. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t go though so I didn’t feel so bad. But she should take your situation into consideration. Like you have a child and other responsibilities that come first. Not everyone lives a lavish lifestyle. I feel like if you just explain your side of it she should be understanding. Especially if she’s your best friend. And IF she doesn’t understand then maybe you shouldn’t be the maid of honor. Honestly I would find another friend if she can’t see where you’re coming from. Just saying.
If she a true best friend she will make sure you can be with you and she will understand if you can’t br there all the time due to having a child etc if she starts moaning or having a go then just step aside xx
Be honest and let her know how you feel and what your going through money wise she will understand
Just be honest with her! If she is your best friend she will understand. Tell her exactly the amount you think you can afford (set it at a hard boundary). And if she offers to cover the cost, let her. There is no amount of money in the world that would prevent my best friend from being by my side!
If she is a true best friend she will understand when you are honest with her. If she wants you there badly enough she would help out with the cost.
I always disliked this part of being asked to be in a wedding. So I decided when I got married to pick the colors and basic style only. The girls were able to purchase the dress they could afford. Everyone got together and looked amazing that day for under 50 dollars including sandals!! I hired someone to come and do hair and make up at my home for everyone and all events were basic but fun and inexpensive! Everyone had a great time and no one had to break the bank. Including myself!
I just got married, I always knew my sister in law would be my matron of honor. She was not in a financial situation to do so, but I made it clear, I would help with whatever she needed, and it wasn’t about the money for me, it was about having my sister by my side when I got married! We bought sneakers for everyone in our wedding party to wear at the wedding. And it was amazing! It all depends on how important it is for her to have you in the wedding! And also I made it clear that my girls did not have to be a part of all events leading up to the wedding. mommy matron of honor didn’t miss a thing! And I helped her whenever she needed it!
Be honest with her. It’s a great expense
You don’t have to be the maid of honor to keep being her best friend I would guess she knows your situation and she would understand why you turned it down. Don’t ever feel guilty for being responsible and realistic and protecting your peace and family. If it cannot be done, it can’t be done. And if she doesn’t get it, she wasn’t your best friend anyway.
You should be honest with her. It might be hard for you to communicate that with her and it might be hard for her to hear. It’s sadly the reality of how much weddings and all the awesome things that go along with them cost on top of having bills and a child to provide for. Again, just tell her. You can still be her best friend and if she feels any differently when you’re honest that you can’t afford that stuff, she was never really your friend to begin with