Ladies, I’m not really sure what I am looking for by posting this, ig some words of encouragement or maybe your opinions on whether I was right or wrong… Last month my best friend’s fiancée hit on me. I have all the texts, and everything saved. I finally told her yesterday and showed her all the messages that he had sent to me. Now, the reasons why it took me so long to tell her was 1) after I ignored him, he has done his best to keep her away from me, so I haven’t had the chance to tell her up until yesterday and 2) because i just know in my heart that if she takes him back, I will never get to see her or her kid again and that absolutely breaks my heart. I had to tell her tho. I would not be a friend at all if I didn’t. But I feel so bad. I watched her cry and held her while she did and I feel so bad for breaking her heart but the way I see it is that if he was comfortable enough to hit on her best friend (knowing I was probably going to tell her) what stops his from doing it (and maybe going farther) with other women that don’t know she exists. Now he is telling her that I was texting him back and told him, “if she and he weren’t together, that he and I can “maybe” be together” - what does that mean? I knew in my heart that he would try to keep her from me when I told her but never even thought that would be how, although I should have. Was I right by telling her, and if yes, then why do I feel so bad?
Just sometimes doing the right thing feels like sh*t.
You did the right thing my dear. It hurts you cuz you know she’s hurting inside. She’s your best friend, I’m sure you ladies will find a way to meet up again sometime 
Same thing happened to me! I ended up telling her and, she still with the guy … So now we aren’t friends awkward when he around feel super uncomfortable… You did the right thing dispite after math!
You did what any good friend would do. What any good person would do. Don’t feel bad…I know it might be hard. Hopefully she realizes that he’s trash and she’ll just throw the whole guy away.
Everyone hates on the messenger! You are a good friend. Doing the right thing doesn’t always play out in favor of those who are loyal, truthful, ect…
You wouldn’t be a good friend if you didn’t tell her but it’s up to her sometimes love is blind.
Absolutely right. I would want to know. You are her best friend!!! If he had enough gull to hit on you, he’d hit on any other woman!
You done the right thing. The right thing isnt always the easiest thing to do x
You were definitely in the right to tell her
I have been in your situation.
She’ll choose him and cut you out, for a while.
He’ll hurt her and she’ll come back to you.
It’s your job now to support her decisions, she has to do everything she can to make her relationship work.
Pray for her, let her know your on her side regardless or she won’t be able to come back to you.
You did the right thing.
I would be proud to have you as a friend if I were her!
Personally I think you should have just blocked him and not tell .
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You did the right thing! You hurt because you care so much for her and knew she would be hurt. You did what a real friend would do. He’s a dirtbag for doing that. I really hope it doesn’t affect your friendship
One of my favorites things I’ve learned thus far is that every lesson needs players. It sucks feeling like or actually being “the bad guy”, but someone has to play that role, and sometimes it’s us.
Yes you did the right thing. Good for you. That’s being a true friend!
Its hurting you because you care about her, and her feelings.
The best thing you can do now is be there for her when she needs you.
She will choose to believe him and you won’t hear from her until later on when she finds out more and more stuff and is finally fed up with him. You feel bad because you’re probably going to lose your friend for a while even though you did the right thing. She will apologize to you for it some day.
Same thing happened to me but it was my step sister. Her boyfriend was sending texts and pictures and when I told her and she confronted him, he said I was making it all up cause I wanted to be with him and break them up, even though I had proof. We barely see each other and we don’t talk anymore because she believed him over me and this is not the only time he’s cheated on her. But he chose his path by cheating, I chose mine by telling her, and she chose hers by believing him every time and staying with him. I know I did the right thing and so did you
Why were you and him texting so much back and forth? You gave him attention. And he ended up giving it back to you.
Same happened to me. She married him anyway but now they are divorced. She & I are still friends though. You did the right thing. What he did is not your fault.
It will always boil down to the fact, that you’re gloating about it, because he showed interest , even if you were just trying to be nice and be a good friend, You crushed her confidence, you could of said he flirting with some you know ', but Nooooo you want to be the diva🙄
You did the right thing. You may or may not lose her, but it was the best thing to do
You did the right thing. I would have wanted to know.
I feel like you feel bad cause you broke her heart by telling her and the fact that you didn’t fight hard enough to find a way to tell her. You’re a good friend for letting her know and that shows how loyal you are.
I had a “friend” I knew for years. We werent super close but talked at least every week. She ended things with her husband because he was cheating on her. I told her I hoped she never went back to him and she could do better. They got back together a week later and hadn’t talked to me in 6 years.
You did the right thing
My bestfriend manipulated my boyfriend into falling in love with her, just so she could have a man to fix her car. She was fucking my dad first for the last 5 yrs. So when she got her eviction notice, she started with my then love of my life.
I cried to her for months about thinking he was cheating.
Till I saw it was her.
Both of them talking shit about me.
I was with him for 15yrs. We have 2 kids together.
He evicted me from our home 3 months later.
You should be happy you told her. Cause he doesn’t seem trustworthy at all
Why were you two texting in the first place?
Red flag from you and him.
You did right but of course if she ends up staying with him he is not going to allow her to talk to you. And when they get divorced because he will do it again and again and again and again and again with other females. I’m sure right now he’s probably talking to several other different ones. But when we’re in love we are not trying to hear that we’re not wanting to hear that because we feel like we are more than enough for our man. But they stray away anyway. You could have him fuck fed and ready for bed and it’s still not gonna be enough. You did the right thing. Prayers and love
Yes the right thing and if she chooses him over you you’re better off. Everyone needs friends that have their back if she can see that it her problem
You did the right thing… and she will decide whatever she decides.
You feel bad because you are a decent human being
And you didnt want hurt your frien 'll
I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been the girl telling her friend that her significant other was crossing a line with me and I’ve been the girl having friends message me telling me my significant other was crossing a line with them. I went straight to my friend. My friends came straight to me. It always goes the same way. Especially when the two have been together a while. My friend stayed with dude and our relationship faded… until he did it again and again and again and multiple girls went to her. Same with me. I backed away from the friends that were trying to tell me about my significant other. Again, until it happened again and again and again.
My opinion, you should stop stressing yourself about it. You absolutely did the right thing. It’s now out of your hands. The down side is that if she chooses to stay with him, it will most likely affect your friendship. She will not leave him for good (even though she should because in my opinion, if one partner cheats and the other partner forgives them, it’s basically the green light to continue the behavior because the guilty party knows the other person will forgive them), until she is ready to see it herself. All you can do is continue to be an amazing friend!
You feel bad bc you know how much it hurts nobody wants to tell there friend that but your a true friend stay that way it may suck now but I’m sure she will thank you later
Why did he tell her that? Did you say that?
You were 100% right for telling her ! I’d want my friend to tell me no matter how bad it hurt me!
You was absolutely right to tell her that, and he said that to try and make you look like the bad guy even if you never said it. If she chooses you over him just raise your head and find a better friend.
Feeling bad just means you have a conscience, a heart, empathy. Doing the right thing doesn’t always mean it feels good to do. Be patient. Just give her space. She’ll come around eventually. Just block him on everything. If he does somehow manage to message you again, tell him what kind of sleezeball he really is.
What were you texting him back?
And… if it were me… id wanna know.
You did the right thing. If she picks him over you then thats her loss. Im sorry you guys are going through this. I wish I had a friend like you. My “bestfriend” slept with my ex behind my back. He was living with me and everything.
Yes you were right in telling her! I went through this with a friend when I was 18 and she stopped talking to me altogether… it broke my heart but I wouldn’t have felt right not telling her… later she found what a scum he is
You’re a good best friend!! Most of these “friends” these days have zero morals and will go behind your back in an instance!! A best friend is exactly that and would NOT allow that shit to go on to save face!! No ma’am!! If he is brazen enough to send you stuff, imagine who else he is talking to. Just hope she realizes what kind of friend she has and holds on to that as it is super rare!!! Good luck 
This happened to me in the past as well. I deleted the messages tho because I didn’t need them or want them. He was hitting on me and I told my friend. She didn’t believe me and brushed it off. Month later she came back and apologized and found out how scummy he really was! It was best you tell her! Even though it broke her heart it saved it from hurting worse
There is so much left out of this story…
If you have all the texts then she can see he is lying about what he said that you said. If he tries to say you deleted messages just get the text message log from your wireless company and match them up to what is there. She would be able to see if there were gaps where deleted messages would be. But, do not feel bad from the aspect of telling her. You absolutely did the right thing, because it would just be another woman later. She isn’t sad because it is you. She is sad because it is ANYONE.
If she does it to you then who else does he hit on. I would’ve said something too. Tell her she’s better off with out him. She deserves more, what a slime bucket… 
That’s called Girl Code and don’t feel bad at all!
But what did he say…
You did the right thing 100% no matter what happens you had her back. I would be devastated if I wasn’t told and found out.
I have never forgotten how I lost my best friend and friendship group all because my bestfriends boyfriend admitted to her that he was getting feelings for me. I just got ghosted by everyone like i had done something wrong when in fact I hadn’t at all. I didn’t know what or why for years it really affected me and honestly when I think about it I still have some hurt. I was so lonely with no friends to see or be supported by. I had such low self-esteem to start with I found it so hard to make those friends in high school that I ended up just working and not seeing anyone really. Anyway it was really hard on me. You’re a good friend just keep being honest and be there for her he will stuff up again or she will see the light one day.
Yes, you’re right for telling her. Keep showing her those text messages to remind her to never go back to that
You did the right thing!
You did the right thing. If she doesn’t believe your side of things after showing her the evidence and the texts, then there’s nothing more you can do but distance yourself/walk away. But also, I would tell her to demand evidence from him if he’s going to slander you.
You did what was right between you and your friend and your heart most people wouldn’t even tell the other person give her her space and she will come around just be glad you did what you did because he might have done it to somebody else and she would have never known
Did you reply back to his messages? I mean you waited a month later to tell her? 
there couldve been so much that happened within that month. Just saying, theres always 2 sides to the story. This is just 1 sided, i wouldve told my bestie straight away instead of waiting a month. But anyways thats just me
You were 100% right telling her. And if he has anything against you maybe her should show her. I bet he cant cause he probably deleted that shit. If he will text you that shit, you can only imagine what he would text someone else
I wish I had a friend like you, you only feel bad because you love your friend and she is hurting. He is the cause of her hurting not you.
You’re a good friend!
I never tell, because when I have in the past it always resulted in them believing their SO. You should have just let it go, she will find out eventually.
Yes it was right to tell her! You feel bad because you love her and wouldn’t ever want to hurt her. But, in the end, you told her to 1) preserve your friendship, loyalty and trust with her and 2) if she would have found out a year or more from now, she would not only be heart broken over the loss of trust with her soon to be husband, but with you as well. You have to stand by your decision to tell her but in the end it will be up to her to make her own decisions. Either way, tell her you support her decisions and act accordingly. You stood up for your friendship, even if it was hard, and that is what (I hope) she’ll remember.
As a guy, fuck him. He is a slime all and doesn’t deserve a good woman like your friend. You were absolutely right in telling her. If you were a friend and didn’t tell her, then fuck you too. You aren’t a good friend. I would rather break my best friends heart than have them go years before finding out. Save them the wasted time.
Yes you were right and that’s all you can do, the rest is up to her.
Yes you should always talk to her about all of this and he sounds like a terrible person, that’s why it’s painful for her and for you, to be in the situation he put you in
U were right. What happens next is up to her.
My ex was cheating on me with not 1 or 2 but with 3 different girls I was very thankful when a couple friends told me what he did. It hurt but after the initial hurt ended I was glad they told me. I feel like it would have hurt way worse if nobody said anything but everybody knew. You are a good friend for telling her. Even if he manipulates her into taking him back she will eventually see that he is no good.
You were a great friend in telling her what she does now with that information is out of your hands but you did the right thing hopefully she has some pride and will get rid of him!
I think you did the right thing. Better to find out now than after they were married!
Don’t doubt yourself. Your instincts are right. She may be very hurt and turn her anger on you. Anger is driven by fear.
You did the right thing and nobody likes hurting a friend. Latter in time she will thank you
Unless there are messages from you saying that to him that could prove what he says I hope your friend sees through his bullshit because he has been called out on his shitty ways. You showed her proof if he doesn’t have any then she should wake up and leave
You gotta tell her. That man is gross and if he’s bold enough to hit on her best friend, he doesn’t give a damn about her at all.
You did the right thing 100% I beleive in my heart you must always be honest with friends no matter the outcome.
You feel horrible because you see her pain,at the end of the day she will thank you for it.
I had a so called friend who would hit on my husband and that sow and him crossed the line. People in our group dis not tell me I wish they had.
You did the right thing. Now it’s her choice where to go from now. It may hurt but she will forgive you.
You were absolutely right to tell her, and you feel so bad because she does. It’s just that simple, we don’t like to hurt those we love, even when we have to
You where brave in telling her. He is a bum. Like others have said, he broke her heart, not you.
I applaud you for telling her the truth! That’s what true friends do, no matter how much the truth hurts. If her fiancee keeps her away from you, it should be a sign that he doesn’t want you to know what’s happening in her life.
Try to stay close to her, she needs you!
You were in the right. You probably feel bad cause you were close and you know this hurt her. To be honest I wish I had a friend like you.
Sometimes it’s best to keep hurtful news to yourself, unless it’s going to put someone in danger…
You didn’t break her heart, he did. You did the right thing IMO
Did the right thing! She’ll be thankful once she gets past the hurt.
It might cost you the friendship but You did the right thing. She will see that sooner or later.
You did the right thing. You only feel so bad because you love her and you had to see her hurt. You’re a great friend. Continue to be there for her.
I was in the same situation and told my friend about her hubby. She cried, they fought, made up and he told her I was the biggest whore around. I was no longer invited over.
Time went by and eventually the girl she called her sister came clean that her and my friends hubby had been seeing each other behind her back for quite some time. Devastated, she told me how I was the only true friend she has. Still, we don’t see much of each other but she knows where I am if she truly needs me.
Situations like that truly ruin good friendships and memories.
You completely did the right thing I would want my friend to tell me. I’d rather hurt than live in a lie. Plus if you showed her messages surely it shows your reply’s? Hopefully she will see through him. Definitely a good friend though and can tell how much you care about her that your scared of loosing her that much. You defo did the right thing though don’t feel bad. I would definitely rather a friend that tells the truth x
Absolutely did the right thing! Hes a cheating POS and don’t think you were the only one he was trolling. The very fact that he approached YOU, her best friend, shows the absolute lack of boundaries or fear of getting caught. Hes like a professional hitman. You saved your friend from divorce,disease, and years of therapy.
Good job for telling her
You do what you gotta do and if she decides to take him back and stay outta your live then whose really the shitty friend ?
U did the right thing honey
If you didn’t tell her then you would not be a good friend and would set her up for even deeper hurt down the road. You feel bad because she is hurting but you have to remember being the one to tell her doesn’t mean you are the one who broke her heart. It is all him. If for some reason she believes what he is telling her I think your best bet is to tell her something along the lines of “Look, I can only prove what did happen, there is no proof for what didn’t happen. I know you are hurt and confused right now and I am sorry. I told you because I couldn’t let you stay with someone like that without knowing what they are capable of. If you think I had a part in betraying you please do not let him use it to distract you from what he did. You have to know that is still who he is and if he is capable of hitting on your best friend he is capable of a lot worse. I love you and I do not want to lose you but if you need space and time right now to figure things out I will give it to you. I understand that the hurt can really mess with someone’s head and make you unsure who to trust but I hope in the end you know me well enough to see the truth. I am here for you if you want or need me no matter what.” It will hurt so much to give her space but if she needs it then it is your best option. The more you try to convince her of what really happened the more confused and agitated she will get. No matter how much it hurts you have to let her know you are there for her no matter what then step back and let her process and deal with it on her own. Don’t take it personally if she believes him as she is hurt and confused and just trying to make sense of things. If you can’t convince her then just make sure that she knows it wouldn’t excuse his actions either way.
Absolutely did the right thing. Myself personally, after he made those accusations, I would have said show the proof bastard.
You 100% did the right thing!
I hope this gets sorted out. He is clearly a fucking piece of shit with no respect for women, or any promises that he makes.
You did the right thing that what real friends do
Hes a psycho and had no right bringing you into it or blaming you!! You did the right thing gf 
You did the right thing!
You did the right thing for sure and the feeling is because your loved one is hurting and you want to be able to take that pain away for her. We dont like being the one to give the Pain to our loved ones and not being able to take it away but just be there if you can. Message her and tell her in a supportive way that you love her and if there is anything you do to help help or her kids let you know. Just be the best friend you’ve always been for her.
Did she kick him to the wayside? If so, you probably saved your friend from the nightmare of being with a narrsistic control freak that would have been abusive as well as unfaithful. All the signs are there. If she still stayed with the guy then that could be the biggest mistake of her life.
She’ll realize it eventually…
Im married. If my husband did anything of the sort. Id be happy you told me.no need for a man to be going behind my back making me look stupid
You did the right thing %