My family and I have not really been close (don’t get me wrong, they love my kids to death. But as far as just myself, we’ve never really had a bond if that makes sense), so her family has always welcomed me with open arms. But ever since I’ve had my son, she’d make nasty comments about things that I do as a mom. 2 examples; once I was hanging with my best friend (her daughter) and my son wasn’t with me. Honestly, I feel like every mom needs a break. So, if my family offers to watch my son while I go hang out or whatever I need to do, I’m taking it. Especially since I’m still kind of a new mom so ( 1st son is 11 months, 2nd is even baking ) I still have the tendency to sometimes get overwhelmed. But anywho, she made me feel so bad for it! She said, “you’re not a bad mom for needing a break, you’re a bad mom for taking it” … there was also an incident yesterday where I was with them with my son, and we went out to firehouse subs. I gave him a little bit of my sub (he’s a little fattie ), and he got constipated. I’m assuming it was because of the cheese. But we were speaking about it and her kind of scorned me about it, or at least that’s how I felt. She made it a big deal. Not to say it wasn’t, because who wants their child to be constipated?! But I just felt like it was blown so out of proportion. Saying things like “y’all suck” (referring to my self and her other daughter, we’re both young moms) and pushing that I need to use kayro syrup when I really don’t feel a need to and just giving out advice that’s not warranted. My son has a sensitive stomach, so constipation happens a bit more often for him as I’m trying to introduce more foods in his diet. I have so much going on in my life, and I’m already made out to be this monster for having kids so young and on top of that having them back to back, so I don’t need any more negativity. I love her, but lately, I’ve just been feeling some negative and… sorta hateful vibes. Should I feel that way? What would y’all do if y’all were in this situation?
My best friends mom has always been like a mom to me, but lately she has made rude comments: Advice?
Talk to her about it, tell her how you feel and open communication
Since yall are close, talk to her about it. She may not know she is hurting your feelings. Everyone is going to give you unwanted advice, just gotta roll with it or tell them you don’t want it. It sounds like she may have some underlying feelings about your pregnancies and maybe if y’all had a heart to heart, she may see what she is doing to y’alls relationship
I mean simply say it’s my child, I’m gonna do as I see fit. I’d be mad if someone called me a bad mom for needing a break.
She is just being a grandma and is concerned about the baby. She probably doesn’t realize she is hurting you. Baby sounds like he might be lactose intolerant contact doctor about it may have to avoid different foods and change his milk
I would tell her how I feel. If you feel like it is mean or hurtful, say it. She may be able to say it to her daughter and it just roll off.
Talk with her about how it makes you feel… Breaks aren’t a bad thing! Hell I’m a single momma of two and if my family offers to watch them you bet your booty I’m taking that offer. Those are very rare for me to have.
It sounds like she’s saying it to her daughter too. She might not think that she’s out of the way in saying something. Talk to her, explain to her that she hurts your feelings when she makes comments.
You need to talk to her about how you feel. Set some boundaries if need be.
Telling you you’re a bad mom for taking a break you needed is beyond uncalled for. You need to tell her that it’s not acceptable to speak to you that way
Remember that she was born and had kids during the time that everyone thought after someone has kids their lives need to always revolve around said children. But calling you a bad mom for actually taking a break is not okay, I also feel like maybe she’s a bit jealous cause she never got a break. As for what happened with the sub, he’s your child and you have every right to feed him whatever you like (obviously within reason for his age), and she, again, is just projecting what she was taught or how she raised her children. If she’s really important to you, sit her down and tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t care, then you aren’t as close as you thought and I would suggest stepping back from that relationship.
Talk to her, but yeah that is messed up. It’s okay to take breaks and have people watch your son and it’s okay to feed your son a bite of you sandwich (I feed my 7 month old bites of my food as long as its soft enough so shes had burgers and chicken since she was 5 months)and I take the break too when the family offers too. You’re an amazing mom so don’t let her bother you, but speak up to her and make sure she knows he is your son and if she doesn’t like it then you’d rather her remain silent. That’s what I believe anyways
It isnt her business how you parent and she should be told that. They are your kids and you raise them how you want. She knows she is making the remarks and she wants a reaction
Maybe take some time away and time from speaking. Might put things in perspective and maybe shes mad and being passive aggressive. I’d just take time away and see if things change. Time might also give you thought on how to go about communicating these issues.
Your son isn’t even one and you need a break ? Heck I probably would have laughed at that one too. Just wait it gets harder lol. And you intentionally fed the baby food that he should not eat which messed with his belly. Can’t say that’s a bad mom but that was a stupid decision but I pawn it off as it should be a lesson learned. She is not wrong in her opinions but she could be nicer about delivery but you are an adult and people shouldn’t have to sugar coat everything for you either. You are a NEW Mom who has made some weary choices already which means maybe you should take the advice and use it wisely. Not all advise is wise but common sense will tell ya which is useful. Anytime a child is constipated you should help the child and the syrup helps whether you feel he needs it or not as he’s the one having issues pooping not you 🤷
Maybe she’s feeling overwhelmed with you going around so much when her house and plate are full of her own …
Do you , dont overstay welcomes
Maybe it’s your own insecurities making you feel bad, if feeding your little was innocent who cares what she says just let it roll off. As for leaving your kid with family how often are you doing it? If rarely who cares what she says. I have a step son and he and his girlfriend never have there baby he is always with someone else. Right now leaving them with family seems good but it will real its ugly head later when the kids get older and you can’t discipline them because everyone else has a say in what they do.
I’d tell her in the nicest way that what she says is hurtful and is counterproductive. Idc how old she is or if she sees herself as helping you…she isn’t she is being rude and nasty. These kind of behaviors are NOT checked and that’s why she’s a rude old tart
Sounds to me like Mom has some resentment towards both of you girls ( her daughter too) for being irresponsible and getting pregnant so young and then wanting and needing everyone’s help to do everything then saying you need a “Break” Her & your Mom are Grandparents now and her daughter probably lives with her , maybe you live with yours idk. But being in a position where your still raising your child and then they have a child ( both of yall) then guess where the ultimate burden goes… to the real Adult in all this… Now they not only have to make sure your alright and taught and yalls needs are meet… now they also have those same things for their grandchildren because yall were so young… She’s probably tired, worried and doing most of the work…
Maybe your just hormonely unbalanced being pregnant taking everything to heart let it slide but if it happens to much you need to talk to your friend or her mum
I got 3 step children, 2 toddlers one almost 10, i can tell you right now it doesnt get ANY easier. Like on some real shit. You worried about your kid being constipated, yes his tummy hurts, wait till hes 4 and throws the fuck down cause he doesnt even WANT to sit on the toilet and poop so he holds it🤦🏼♀️ Im young but your in for one wild ride if your gonna let everyone elses opinion of your parenting get to you. EVERYONES ALWAYS GONNA HAVE an opinion, on your parenting. Whether you’re doing it right OR wrong🤷🏼♀️
Live your life with your husband and children. In-laws and outlaws have lived theirs!
You’re gonna have to learn to stick up for yourself, she says you’re a bad mom for taking a break and you correct her and say I’m a good mom because I take a break when I need one, I have to take care of myself too. Because your baby will be happier if you are happy! Things like that, you don’t have to be mean but if she’s hurting your feelings you shouldn’t allow that. Also, Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water will naturally help with digestion/constipation and it won’t harm your baby.
Stand up for yourself! AND ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!!! People are going to put you down and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do for the rest of your life so you have to decide on when your going to stop listening to it! Remember all that matters is that you take care of those babies AND yourself! Screw what anyone else says or thinks! You’re doing good momma! Stay strong!
My youngest grandson suffered from constipation daily. We discovered he had an umbilical hernia. He had an “outie” belly button and some days it would be more out than other days. . Once that was corrected surgically (he has an “innie” belly button now) he has not had one bout of constipation.
Tell mom to cool it. You are the parent now with your child/children. Sit her down and discuss your feelings honestly with her. Tell her you feel confident about mothering and how different it must have been for her. Tell her you also trust your pediatrician to help with health issues. Don’t make her feel you don’t appreciate her advice, just try and humor her and yourself. As a grandparent, we tend to be too much of a helicopter mom/grandma without even realizing it. It sounds as if your mom has some unresolved issues with you about you becoming a young mom and other things, so be honest and open about her feelings.
As this page is “My Husband is a Blessing” … what does your husband say about the way she treats you? What does her daughter’s husband say about the way she treats her daughter? Oh, no husband? Then why do these same questions keep showing up on THIS page? Yes, I know people need help, but … why get it from random internet strangers on a page that is suppose to be sharing why/what/how your husband is a blessing??? Why not ask for help on a page that is directly established for offering help to children having children and then being upset when someone offers advice (that they think is picking on them)??
I would thank her for the advice but let her know the insults and criticism is hurtful. Just be honest with her
I seriously doubt that little bit of cheese constipated you son. You sound like a good mom. Keep doing what you are doing.
You’re going to have to ask her, straight out, face to face.
Just smile and say “thanks for your help”. Then, avoid her. A little bit of cheese isn’t going to upset the baby’s stomach. Go to Walmart and buy some drops for constipation.
Ignore the old hag and give the 11month old a few 3-4 ounces of water a day. This will help loosen up his stools, my daughter had very hard poops if we didnt give her some fresh fruit,juice or water daily.
I’d stay away from her! Just a tip, put some Karo syrup in bottle will take care of constipation. Teaspoon for 8 oz.
So, just to ask. I’m on my 4th child, my oldest is 19 years old. I have never used karo syrup and its never been suggested at all until I’ve had my 4th and now I hear this often. Is it a regional thing (I moved to a different part of the U.S)?
In gonna assume since she treats you like her daughter, your going to get from her what every daughter would, ride comments about hour they suck as a parent lol and maybe a little jealousy because your parents had him and she didn’t maybe or simply just because you didn’t ask her? Simply ask her what’s up and why she’s making the comments. Tell her that she is hurting you’re feelings, easy.
Weed out the negativity, she will keep doing it as long as you let her, trust me.
Go and talk to her. Adult to adult.
Invest the time in your own family and not your friends.
Talk to her about it
My battery ran down on this one
I’m guessing it’s a generational thing…
If you’ve known them all that long maybe say something to your friend first, and I’d that doesn’t help go to the source. I’m not saying be rude or anything but just make it clear if you need advice you will ask for it and if she’s been that close to you tell her how it makes you feel, she may not even realize how it could make you feel.
Honestly this is me and my mom. Im more aware of her narc behavior. She makes comments to me too. Honestly… If it werent for my mother in law i would go insane. She takes my son for a few hours so i can take a warm bath, clean and take a nap and just relax. I have anxiety so getting overwhelmed does happen.
Some folks are just like this…they say rude and hateful things without really even thinking about it…and everyone seems to have parenting advice your also probably hormonal and emotional…maybe limit your time around her. Sometimes people don’t understand how much their words hurt us.
I would ay you’re probably just more aware of the ugliness. If you truly stop and think back,I’m sure you would see that this is who she’s always been buy now you’re seeing it from a new perspective. This is what happened with me with my own mother after my son was born. I would suggest attempting to address the situation to see if it can be fixed but if not, keep clear
If you don’t live with them, I would stay away from her. She’s sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong. YOUR baby, YOUR business. Her opinions are irrelevant.
You are the mom don’t. let her talk to you like that just tell her.
I would be staying far away you don’t need that I need breaks sometimes too my boyfriend will take all 3 of mine and if anyone tries to make me feel bad I’d tell them to f off fr you need a break too that’s how you can function especially since you have another on the way nothing wrong with having time for yourself hunny you need it so forget her and just do you lots of luck and congratulations on your up coming arrival