Nope ur not stand ur ground & save ur child from all that. I today am breaking the vicious cycle no in & out for my son
Tell her straight if she can’t respect your wishes you will cut her off too.
I understand where your grandma is coming from but she also sounds very toxic. Your child, your rules. Lay it out to them. Tell them exactly how it’s going to be. If they can’t accept that then that’s their problem. You do what you think is best for your baby.
If she isnt allowed around kids when she gets out thats a huge red flag.
And your gma ignoring that means she basically condoned whatever your ma did. Which means your gma is just as p$ychotic. Id side eye your gma even more now.
If God can be so forgiving why is it so hard for mankind… To forgive someone takes so much stress, anger & anxiety off of a person. I didn’t say you have to forget all the past because of the past we are who we are today but to forgive relieves so much tension not to mention carrying the weight of the bad part of your past around with you all those years, it is time to free yourself from all the negativity of the past… What you choose for you & your baby is up to you but don’t use your past to decide because you don’t live back there any more
That’s your baby. You decide who will be and won’t be toxic to your child.
Honestly make your boundaries and stick to them. It is your child not there’s and if they can’t respect your wishes of not wanting your mother to know then they shouldn’t be able to see or talk to the child unless they respect your wishes no matter how old they are.
Umm if your mom isn’t going to be allowed around children … yikes … IMO … keep away … you are just looking at social services coming at you . Keep whatever evil there is away from your child .
YOU know whats best for your kiddo. Grandma needs to respect that boundary or lose the PRIVILEGE of seeing/spending time with you and little.
Firm boundaries. You gotta shut down grandma immediately. Also forgiveness doesn’t require you to get in touch or see your mom. You can forgive and still maintain no contact, because there are situations that are just plain toxic or unsafe. Forgiveness is for you. To set yourself free of that pain.
Always follow what your heart tells you ! Instincts are powerful!
Evidently you don’t Have to worry about your mom being involved in your childs life. You said you were close to grandma i wouldnt keep the baby from her i just wouldnt ever leave the baby with her. But sounds like she’s been involved all this time. Mom is her daughter as you are your baby’s mom. Only one problem THERE grandma of all people knows her daughters charges that’s the sad part and why i wouldnt ever NEVER leave the baby there. Not even 30min. And to its actually normal that grandma would talk to her daughter about you and the baby i mean thats her daughter. Talk to your grandma again forgive her in your heart. Let her love her great grandchild… Depending how long your mom will be gone would depend on when you stop going to grandma’s i guess.
I think you should walk away from your whole family. You have your baby boy. That’s all you need hon. You keep him safe and do what’s best.
Don’t she went to jail FOR A REASON
Keep your kids safe from everyone including “family”
Your grandma seems toxic as well gulit tripping you into doing something you’re not comfortable with clearly.
Remember that you are the parent and what you say, goes. If your mother isn’t going to be allowed around children I absolutely would not let her around yours. I would put your grandmother in her place. Just because she wants something, doesn’t make it right. Personally, I would cut all 3 off completely. You need no stress and deserve happiness.
You are under no obligation to anyone because of blood.
Nope you gave clear instructions on what you wanted them to do. ITS YOUR CHILD not hers you do what you feel is best even if it hurts other people’s feelings. I had to do a lot to make sure my son never grew up around unstability and toxicity do I regret it absolutely not. Mentally it was less stress put me in a better place. End of the day you want no contact THAT MEANS NO CONTACT you’re doing what is best for you and your child.
No I would cut all of them off if they’re that toxic.
I don’t think you are overreacting at all. Your family, your boundaries. If you don’t hold true to those boundaries, people tend to take advantage and assume they can do whatever with little to no consequence. Keep protecting that little one of yours! Good luck
oh no… stick to your own boundaries… they dont ljke it… too bad
Your mother chose her life,that why she is where she is, your grandmother still loves her as she is her daughter, no matter what she has done, if the law said your mum can’t be around children, your grandmother has to except it ,no matter how hard it is for her to see her daughter and granddaughter not speaking,
You have to tell her nicely that the law said no to children to be around her , and there is a reason for that ,not your choice it was hers , tell your grandmother you love her but she has to stop making you feel quilts, because as it’s never going to change, and you haven’t forgiven your mum for your own childhood, she will understand as she loves you and your baby
My son only met my mother once or twice when he was a baby. I wouldn’t allow him to see her and still don’t. He’s 9 now. You do what you have to do, if it was bad for you then I wouldn’t put your son through it, why I won’t let my son see his grandma my mother. He does know why we don’t see her. As they get older they will realize why not, my son hasn’t asked bout his grandparents. Even though he only has one. Don’t rush into anything. I did when I seen my mother nothing ever has changed, nothing will. At least with me. Good luck just protect your son.
Picturs send in mail would be more than enough no need to involve the child
Stand Your ground and keep your boundaries!!!
GOOD FOR YOU FOR KNOWING THE TOXICITY AND CUTTING IT OFF MOMMA
I hate to resort to savagery against a grandma, but would you ask your grandma for parenting advice? If the answer is no, don’t take parenting advice from her You have parental rights over your baby, not mom or grandma. Also, if your mom was her exact self but not related to you, would you invite her into your life or your child’s? Would you befriend her and tell her your achievements and concerns? Disclose anything about your kids? If not, then mom hasn’t earned that privilege.
Your child, YOUR decision!
She already knows so that’s a mute point so not letting g them see him is not appropriate. I would not worry about your moms feelings or worry about letter her see him. Tell grandma healing MIGHT come in time but she isn’t going to see it if she pushes this
You can forgive, in your own heart so that maybe it can give you some peace… just don’t forget . Take care of you & you’re baby, you both come first. It’s to bad your family is that way, they’re really missing out
Forget anything other than what YOUR gut is telling you. You do not owe anyone anything…with the exception of your child now. You owe that baby safety, love, health and peace. It would not be for the baby. It would be for your “mother” or grandmother. That is not a reason to go against your intuition.
Stand your ground kindly with your grandmother. Tell her that forgiveness does not mean allowing more hurt. Tell her that it is your job to do what is best for your baby and that you know what that is more than anyone. Tell her that you love her but do not want to hear anymore about it. Tell her that you don’t want the subject to hurt your relationship with her. Your priority above all else is that baby. You can do it, be strong❣
Sounds like my family but they stopped pushing me to have a relationship with my mother after she called cps on me… Do what you feel is right. FK what anyone else says. That’s your kids and you know what is best. Sounds like she’s not suppose to be around kids, so I’d keep it that way.
You do what’s best for your baby.
Nope no guilt, if they cannot respect boundaries then they don’t need to be involved in yours or your child’s life. Boundaries and toxicity don’t have a cut off for family, they respect you or they don’t get any communication. I have cut off toxic family, no regrets, and my mental health is better for it. You do what you feel is right for you and your family, do not let them get their way if it is not what you feel is ok for you.
Cut them all off. You have to protect your child. If they think that she should get to see your baby while in prison, what are they going to do behind your back when you say no and she’s out of prison. This isn’t their decision. It’s yours. If they can’t abide your wishes, they have no business demanding time with your child. This entire thing has TOXIC written all over it.
More details would be nice, like why your mom is in prison and why she can’t be around kids. That being said you need to tell your grandma to butt out, that your mother can’t legally be around kids and you don’t want to hear anymore about it if she persists cut her off.
I wouldnt have nothing to do with any of them. If you have too you change phone number and move. Your son don’t need that and neither do you
No for me. Grandparents should respect yr decision. No guilt tripping. Granma is likenthat cause thats her daughter you doing to…but she didnt feel the hurt you felt. You do whats best for yr baby.
“Won’t be allowed around children when she gets out”. Cut them allll out of your life wtf. The guilt tripping is abuse. Get rid of the grands, the mother, every single person that thinks like your grands.
Anyone who’s “not allowed” to be around children family or not. Would not be around my child. At this point if they keep bringing your month we up I would end the convo every time. Immidiatly. Until they understood when you mention her I will shut everything down.
Let her keep preaching that forgiveness, because you can forgive someone for your own well-being, but still not have any kind of relationship. I’m dealing with toxic family, too…I’m working with my counselor on forgiving them, but only for myself, NOT for them. I don’t speak to them, nor will I ever again. When I forgive these people, it’s for ME, not them. Good luck…I hope you find some peace.
Some problems can’t be fixed. You can forgive, but forgiveness does not mean that you have to just forget all that you forgave
I get your grandma. Forgiveness isn’t about your mom. It’s for you.
That said, forgiveness doesn’t mean she has access to your children.
Video chats are fine if that’s what YOU choose.
However, you need to have a talk with grandma and tell her you appreciate her reasoning but this is between you and your mom and you’d appreciate her staying out of it.
If she can’t, stop telling her anything. Sometimes you gotta love people at a distance.
In prison and won’t be allowed around children when she is let out…that my friend is a clear answer for me
I’m concerned about the “not being able to be around children” part when she gets out. If she had committed a crime against a child, there’s no way she’d be allowed around my child EVER.
Keep that baby safe at all costs even from blood relatives.
It’s not for your grandmaw to decide if you need to fix your relationship with your mom.
And if she’s not allowed children when she gets out, I definitely wouldn’t allow her around mine. She obviously did something horrible.
Raise your baby, and forgot about your mom. Tell your grandparents to leave it be and warn them if they keep it up they won’t be allowed around the baby either.
They crossed a boundary you had! Thats not ok! You do what you feel you need to, to protect your child no matter whose feelings get hurt!!
Stay away from toxic people - family are often the most toxic
Nope. He is your family now. You have every right to burn the bridge that gets in the way of YOUR family.
Toxic is toxic, doesn’t matter if they’re “blood”. If it disrupts your peace of mind, it’s not worth it.
Stand your ground! Toxic is toxic, family or not and you DO NOT have to allow that in your life.
Your child comes first. Protect your child from any emotional or physical damage, always.
As for you and your mom, I guess my view is different from others. It’s not your responsibility to repair the damage she caused you. You don’t have to put yourself in that situation again and shouldn’t. Toxic is toxic, blood doesn’t matter.
Don’t let any of them near him especially the mum protect your bub with your life don’t even let them know where you live stay safe
Your main objective to life now is protecting your son. There is no reason to bring drama and trauma in his life to satisfy your grandma. Do what you know is right.
would be a not no but hell no and if she cant respect your boundaries about it then they cant see him either. ( side note i know how hard it is to cut out family but i have done it for the health and wellbeing of my children.
Stick to your decisions…sounds like your grandma is a little narcissistic
If she is not allowed to be around children then do not let her see your baby in person.
Stand your ground…some people just should never have access to children
Your child your choice
Stick to your guns, don’t let her meet your son, shes done enough damage to you. Parents respondibility is to protect their kids, in this case against their grandmother. They can make the decision to see her when they are adults. Its her own fault, not yours!
If she’s not allowed around children. Then yourr son won’t be allowed to visit anyway. Go with your gut x
It’s your decision, not you grandmas. Well being and safety of your child is first and foremost in his raising and life.
I didn’t have contact with my father for 32 years, then when my son was born he made contact and asked if we could meet, I said yes, he was a fantastic grandpa until one of his real kids (from his second marriage) had a child, the last thing he said to him was 'l’ll come and pick you up and we will go shopping and you can pick your Christmas present. That was 4 years ago and he’s still waiting for grandpa to come and take him shopping. I should have known better he ran off with my friend (4 years older) when I was 15. Some males really aren’t men
If the law won’t allow it what more is there to say but sorry, Granny.
Your child, your rules. Plain & simple
Ew no no no get away from ALL of them. Toxic, gaslighting, guilt tripping. There’s no good coming from this situation/relationship for you or your son. Cut ties.
You can forgive your mom without putting your child in danger. Don’t let them guilt you.
Stick to your guns and do not give in
Your mom has to prove herself to you She has a lot of work to do on herself to get in your good favor
RUNNNNNN
Seriously, you’re not in the wrong for setting healthy boundaries for you and your family. If they can’t respect that then no baby
What Dawn Harvey said!!!
Absolutely not overreacting. Protect your baby at all costs! Your child, your rules! Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into anything! Stay strong mama!
Tell Grandma it’s not your problem that she raised a crappy daughter and feels guilty and to deal with it in therapy and leave you out of her problems. If they can’t remember your boundaries tell them that maybe they need to go to a memory care nursing home.
BTW, congratulations on your son and enjoy your life. I’d keep grandma and grandpa at a distance.
If the LAW says NO!!!
Problem solved!!!
You set the boundaries, and if they can’t respect that then I would cut contact with them too. Stand your ground, you have your reasons.
You can forgive without reconciliation… you have the chance to break the generation curse and have a new way of life with your offspring
You’re not overreacting at all not even a little bit. I had a similar situation with my Dad introduced him to my son when he was around 4 or 5. Hearing my baby boy ask me things I used to ask myself like " Where’s Grandpa Jerry?" and “Is he mad at me?” or " Did he stop loving me like he did you?.."
Don’t do it you’ll end up hating yourself for being stupid enough to let that person do to your child that you always said that they would never do to you again
You do what is best for you and your baby…
Don’t do it tell them to P off if they won’t respect your wishes
It’s not just you in the equation this time round, you are now a mother yourself and responsible for your precious boy.
Please don’t be guilt tripped into going against your instincts to protect your son. Your grandparents are out of order interfering in this situation. What your grandmother is doing is manipulative and unfair.
Hold your head up high, keep calm and let them know that this has nothing to do with unforgiveness, this is about your son’s safety and happiness, and as his mother you would appreciate them respecting your decisions.
As for wanting you and your mother to ‘fix things’ before she dies, well we can’t always get what we want now can we, and before forgiveness there should be repentance…. It’s a two way street.
Been there, done that. That’s your child! You know who you want in their life and who you don’t. I do not regret one bit not letting certain people see or be with my kids!
Never apologize for protecting your children that’s your number one duty and don’t even feel guilty about it
If your grandmother can’t respect your decision then she doesn’t need to be around your son either. What if you send your child over to see your grandmother and she let’s your mom see him? I wouldn’t trust it. None of them should be in the picture.
Of course I don’t know the whole situation. But that’s a big secret to keep. He could have slipped on accident and realized his mistake right after. If they’re good people and raised you which it sounds like they may have I think you should be able to forgive them. You definitely don’t want to regret not forgiving them one day when they are no longer around.
The fact that she guilt trips you is very narcissistic of her and no your child your rules your boundaries.