I just need some encouragement hinestly I’ve been so sad recently. Me and my boyfriend have been having so many problems. We disagree on literally everything I don’t know what bills are how much he gets paid and what goes to what bills I don’t know when he’s doing whatever he’s doing or if he’s doing something else. He hides his phone screen all the time I hardly see if. We don’t even sleep in the same room. We have been together 2 years in September I have a two year old from previous relationship and we have an 8 month old together. We also have a 5 month old puppy. I feel so overwhelmed half the time there’s so much to explain but Idek where to start he controls a lot of my life he doesn’t think I do anything all day but I literally call people to come babysit so I can clean or shower after a week of not getting the chance to shower. And then by the end of the night the floor is covered in trash from the dog and my toddler and he goes to the other room and just goes to sleep after work. I feel so alone I feel so lost idk what to do anymore. I’ve been told to leave idk how many times but I’m always still here. He straight up broke up with me last week and I bawled and basically begged him to hear me for once and just listen to me and hear my feelings actually hear them and he left and then came back that night after work and said we were still together like idk what to do. Please someone help I know what most people will say but please tell me this is just the beginning of a relationship and it’s just hard. Please.
Honestly leave you deserve better and you deserve attention . 
Sounds like you need to back up and start your relationship over. Need to date, then get married and work it out according to God’s will.
I’m sorry but it’s not just the beginning. This relationship sounds over
You already know you need to leave. This isn’t a healthy relationship and not one you want you’re kids growing up in. Contact social services and get any help you can or ask family for help if that’s an option. Hopefully you’re getting child support from your oldest kids father already but if not file immediately as well as for your youngest. It can take time to start receiving money so don’t wait too long to file for support. Praying for you and your kids!
By the last sentence you wrote I can tell you’re are young…Move on he doesn’t love you.You deserve to be with someone that loves you…
You aren’t and happy and by his actions, he isn’t happy either.
We all need to stop expecting others to make us happy.
I would focus on taking care of myself and the kids and clean my home daily to keep a zen environment for ME! Focus on you! Hopefully he will see how you’re working on your own self improvement so it makes him want to also better himself. When you are there best you can be for the other you both have more to offer! Maybe then the relationship will heal and come around soon to where you both connect.
If not, keep
Moving forward for you and it’s time to make a new start!
Join the group - it’s a good one!
Leave as soon as you can!
It might be hard to.leave but you need to. If he does not respect you now he will not later
You are worth SO much more than this! His behavior WILL NOT improve. Find your inner strength, get a relative or friend to help you, and LEAVE. You can do this for your life and your child’s. Best of luck 
It’s red flags all over for me, don’t stay just because of the kids trust me when I say it’s not always the best thing to do. Have faith in yourself and strength to get out now before it gets to be 40 yrs later and you have wasted all that time! You definitely deserve better!
If you are sad then he is not right for you. That is your internal sign, pay attention to it and walk away and take care of you and find what makes YOU happy and whole. Good luck.
Keep the dog. I guess you know what you have to do
Get rid of the bum and get a life with someone who celebrate you.
Re-home the puppy!!! Hire a baby sitter. Shower and go to work every morning. Have your own money. And take your independence back. Birth control so he can’t get u pregnant again!
And, if he wants to continue this… leave him! 100% while he is at work, leave.
Sweetie this ain’t ever getting better. You would be so much better off to get out asap. Don’t look back
Honey it shouldn’t be this hard
Get out know your worth you are priceless
Chances are he treats the dog better than you and the kids, this guy is from the wrong century and maybe even the wrong country, if this treatment is somehow tolerable please consider leaving when the abuse esculates which it no doubt will
I commend you for reaching out for advice instead of throwing it all away. This is a very overwhelming time regardless because you have a newer baby and a toddler. Then you at the dog on top of it. Everything is balance and 50/50. He may not be able to put all of his 50 in so you have to pick up the slack and same goes for you if you can’t put your full 50 then he needs to pick up the slack. Try to work it out. If it just doesn’t then take the next steps to figure it out for you and your children.
Go let him miss you.he needs to help you with the baby and dog.put your foot down.
Sounds like you know you need to leave but you don’t want to so you want others to tell you that it’s OK and to not leave him. But it’s not. 
This one’s easy. Change your locks, apply for custody and clean the trash off of your floor at the end of the night after baby and pup are down and move on with your life, know your worth and don’t use the shared child as a reason to sweeten something already so bitter.
Best of luck.
Get out while you can and start your own life, maybe ask your family if they can help.
He is a narcissist. Move on beginning should be good not like this
When someone shows you who they are you should believe them. You need to leave. There is nothing healthy about your relationship and it does not get better from here , it gets worse! you need to leave for you and your children sake. this is not how HEALHTY relationships begin , this is how ABUSIVE TOXIC relationships begin , and you should love yourself and end the relationship ASAP.
This is precisely why my dad always told me to get an education, make your own money, and never ever depend financially on a man.
It seems like you guys moved fast and didn’t really get to know each other first. Doesn’t matter if he works and you don’t, he should not be controlling you. I’m sorry but if he’s not even willing to talk to you and come to a resolution it’s not worth the headache. Especially if he’s as childish as saying “we broke up” and next minute “we’re back together.”
get out before you have 3 kids with him and feel really stuck. get a job, get yourself up and moving. don’t find excuses find solutions. it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. he doesn’t sound invested in you at all. I know you love him, but love yourself more because it doesn’t sound like he cares for you. My husband works 12 hours a day 5 days a week and still helps with the kids and helps around the house. I have the password to his phone and his bank account. when my feeling are hurt he apologizes and promises to do better and then he actually does better. there is so much better for you out there. he’s not gonna change. so you can either stay stuck and unloved or you can make a way to get yourself out and find better.
Sounds toxic and not anything like love and a waste of your time. Some one is waiting to love you for real. Leave and be single for awhile.
He’s definitely checked out. Sounds like possibly someone else but I hope not
You are not happy . He controls everything and you are treated like a piece of sh## . He doesn’t love you . First thing you need to do is find out your options. Find a new home for the dog . Try to get a new place to live and take your babies away .
Mama hopefully you got your on income coming in and receiving csupport for oldest child. I would be a nut case if I was going thru that. You might need to go stay with family or a friend or a shelter. Some of the shelters help you find housing you can afford. It don’t sound like it’s much going on with you and him but fussing so it’s time to exit out and look for peace for you and your children
He controls you, run girl run. If possible get a job so he doesn’t control your money.
Control is abuse end of story. Add in the financial abuse and you need to leave. Give the puppy to wherever you adopted it from. Make a plan to leave. Start looking at jobs, childcare, if you need to sign up for assistance, a place to live. Talk to lawyer about custody and support.
If he starts hiding his phone that’s my cue to get my ducks in a row cause that’s a tell when the relationship is over imo. I wish you the best.
Leave him your to good for him
Sweetheart I know you don’t want to hear this but you really need to move on. This man is not good for you and 9/10 he’s cheating. You sound pretty young, is there anyway you can move back home with your parents until you get on your feet? If so, then take the babies and the dog and let him live like the bachelor that he wants to be.
If he’s told u to leave then u already know whats up!!!
YOU already know what YOU have to do !!!Stop thinking it’s going to change or get better…
Make a plan, protect your Children
get out NOW before it gets worse - because it will…
Yeah just leave. There’s nothing to salvage. No respect for you or the family you have xx
Run girl run not sleeping in the same bed says it all for me ur worth more
Girl !!! You are so lost if you think this is just the beginning of a relationship, yours already ended and you do not even have a clue .
Stop begging for love , and start loving and respecting yourself a little bit.
Nobody will love you , respect you and value you , if you do not do it yourself.
Get your shit and get out momma…you deserve better and your kids deserve 2 happy parents
Number One problem , he is not committed, starting with marriage.
Take the kid and the dog and run. Leave the dog temporarily with a friend, get yourself and the kid into a battered woman’s shelter and figure it out from there.
Set some time aside and read into codependency. You’re stuck in a loop and unfortunately the only person who can break that is you. Ask yourself if you would ever want your kids to live in the situation you’re in, and then remember that you are setting the first examples of love and a relationship for them. You do know what you have to do, you just know that it will be hard and scary, but you’re already living in a situation that’s hard and lonely.
He’s a boyfriend his personal business ain’t none of yours, he made that clear…why you still there…
Please stop saying me and my……It’s my Boyfriend and I
It’s not going to get better. Get out now. Please don’t have any more kids
He has checked out of the relationship. I am guessing from the post you do not have a job. Go to your local social services to get as much help as you can for assistance, including child care assistance, and get a job, save the money, and get out of there. You deserve better.
Do you have family that you can stay with until you work things out ? A
Man that doesn’t show his phone or show you the bills is hiding something. He doesn’t want you to know anything about his finances. Why would you stay with someone like this ? Get a job. Leave him and ask for child support You’ll need to get a lawyer and get full custody Do that first so he doesn’t try to take your child away. You deserve a better person someone that loves you.
You really don’t want to hear the truth
Awe sweety it sucks ur hurting but it’s only gonna get worse the longer u allow these things to continue. If u allow him to lie or hide things from u he will n he’ll keep pushing. It will not get better. Ur allowing this man to treat u like he would a piece of shit
My first instinct is say run!!! Run fast and far, but instead, have you sat him down and talked to him? Not where are you going? Really talk? I’ve learned the hard way, if you don’t talk, nothing will change sweetheart. I wish you all the best, you can pm me if you want to chat. We all need friends or at least someone to chat with.
Move on woman he doesn’t care
I’ve been there for too long time (13years) and it doesn’t seem to get better. I remember being new in the relationship, living in a basement suit with 2 little ones being so overwhelmed same situation. Now 13 years later it’s the same thing everyday, trying to get everything done with 4 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats, way overwhelmed. I feel for you, do not tell yourself it will get better with time. You can’t change anyone other than yourself.
That is not a relationship, y’all roommates, leave.
please read what you wrote several times, then pack up what you can & leave…don’t forget the puppy if you want, Than make sure you file for child support for his baby & the same with your other child, go after that child’s father for child support. if you haven’t already. . And then relax, take your time & breathe. Oh & by the way, you are not in a relationship at all, you are just there 
He’s a control freak period get the hell out now . Second since he’s hiding his phone he’s cheating !!!
when a guy doesn’t want to be with you they will find any reason to fight hoping to end the relationship…
Girl get out now let him be a burden to someone else!!! Get him on child support and find all the resources you need to start a life with just you and your kids. It is not worth the headache. Good luck 
It’s easier said than done but you really need to get rid and don’t get me wrong it will be so hard, me and my ex split and we have a 21month old together and we have been split a few months now and it still really hurts and I have to have him in my life for my daughter I’m just hoping it will get easier but if you need someone to talk to dm me as I know how lonely it can be x
Why do you hate yourself so much. That’s the question
Only read half of this & know you need to leave!
You know what he did from the time he “broke up with you” and left the house and the time he came back and said “we are back together”….? Who’s gonna tell her….??? 
Sorry, he needs to go. Toxic relationship.
Sweetheart this is not the beginning of a relationship it’s the end. Did your parents not ever tell you not to ever beg someone to love you?? When you have to beg to be loved it’s never going to happen. I don’t know why women puts their self through this. When he first started treating you like this you should have left him and after he told you he was breaking up with you… you should of been gone when he got home from work. He done he doesn’t love you. You can either stay and keep doing this to yourself or grow up and leave his A** and better yourself and then kids.
He’s an ass. You’re in an abusive relationship. File for support for your mutual child and start making plans to get out. He can’t just kick you out.
No one can tell you what to do except your own heart unfortunately having children and if you are not working makes you feel like your in your own mini prison my first advice would be try not to stress what he does look for a babysitter and get a job even if it’s part time get some independence once you start seeing the things you are capable of our side of doteing on your children an him all day your mental health will get better. You have to take care of you first or you will always feel broken
Pack your babies up while he’s at work and leave him. Go to friends or family. Get a job and be done with him. It only gets worse as time goes on.
My guess is another woman or drugs. You and your kids deserve better. It’s never to late to get the life you want. Go for it!
Hunni
You have to do what’s right for you and your kids
Quite frankly
Ask yourself Is that what you want in your relationship
To be treated like that
You and your kids deserve to be treated better
From your post it sounds that he is a narcissist and a control freak
In my honest opinion
If I was in your position
I would take your kids and dog and leave
As he will never change
As long as you enable him to treat
You like that
But at the end of the day
Only you can make that decision
Why are you begging a man ? Relationships are hard AF. They take a lot of work and communication. Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling asshole. Do yourself a favour and get out
Run. Get out of there you will be better off,
You need to stop having kids to men you’re not married to take some parenting classes put them in daycare get rid of the dog and get a fckn job. I don’t blame him he made a mistake having a child from you before he knew you and wanted to marry you.
So you don’t bathe for a week, that’s just nasty
You know the answer to the questions you’re asking.
If your child was asking you or making these same statements to you what would you tell her/him?
I’m sorry to say but it’s highly likely he’s already cheating on you. This isn’t love, it’s obligation and control.
Make a plan, get help, seek out single mom/parent groups, file for support with both children’s fathers even if the they don’t make money. You need to have the support in place for when/if they do get money. Child support services go after tax returns, pensions and anything else they can get their hands on; especially if the state puts out money for care etc. also, file with WEAVE and welfare.
Your are obviously very young with your whole life ahead of you. Do NoT sell yourself short 
I am in tears reading your post.
There is nothing more lonely than living with someone and who makes you feel alone 
You BF isn’t going to change. He does not love you or respect and you deserve so much better. And Yes, by the sounds of it he has checked out
He is abusing you. Financially. Emotionally. Mentally! You are being abused.
Is it possible you to move back to your parents? Grandparents? Siblings?
If you leave, you must do it promising yourself you are NeVeR EvEr coming back. He will never change. He will want you to stay simply because he does not want anyone else to have you. He will come looking for you to take you back, only to continue with the abuse. Having you unemployed and and dependant on him makes him feel Superior.
He obviously has a “Hero Complex” and that is just Narcissistic 
So, if you leave, it has to be forever. No looking back or going back.
Find someone reliable, dependable and stable to watch your babies, while you go out and get a job. Focus on stabilizing you and your children. Do not even consider another relationship until you are financially independent and able to support yourself and your children. YES, immediately file for child for both children from their respective fathers.
It will be hard. But like someone on here already mentioned, go to social services and get as much help as you can.
Please, please ensure that you have a safe place to call home for at least 3 months before you leave. As well as someone who can help watch your kiddies.
You need those two things in place before leaving
Not sure if you watched the Netflix series MAID. Try and watch it for Inspiration.
Please feel free to dm if you need to chat. It always helps just to have people encouraging you all the time. So those who have suggested you dm them, do it, contact them. Surround yourself with as much support as you can muster 
Please keep us posted. Leet us know that you are out and that you are okay 
It sounds like his life is his ,not yours get out it is only going to get worse. He is a selfish prick!!!
Sis, leave. I KNOW that seems hard, but he’s controlling, dismissive and doesn’t care about you. You’d be better off alone, because you seem to already be doing it all alone. A relationship should never be hard.
They’re constant work yes, but they don’t work without clear communication and both people always putting in that work. If it’s this tough everyday, it’s not right. They’re partnerships, so if he doesn’t put in the time, or even listen to you, that’s not a relationship that’s something else entirely.
You’d be better off somewhere else, until you find someone to treat you the way you deserve, or even until you realise your own worth xx
I’m sorry you are sad. I know that you wanted everything to be better than this and you probably try so hard and he doesn’t see it. He doesn’t want to. He takes you for granted. Just think of the relationship you want your kids to have when they are older. If this isn’t it then you need to leave. You deserve more and so do they. Take some time for yourself and then you will find a partner who cherishes you and your children,who is open about finances who listens and values your opinions,who loves you and your children. Pray and god bless you
Can you move in with family and have them help u care for kids while u work
Get some kind of control of your own life.
When it is this hard and you are being left out of everything, you need to move on, love yourself you deserve better
What a dysfunctional mess you’ve chosen for yourself. Obviously, you are not happy, he does not love you and you have created a very difficult future. You have 3 choices: accept the situation you are in 100%, change the situation by changing yourself (he won’t change), leave the situation. You are very young with a lifetime ahead of you, choose wisely. We do create our own lives by each and every choice we make. Good luck
Leave! It won’t get better. Never does and I guarantee if he’s not cheating he’s at least texting other girls take your kids and leave him his phone and the dog✌️
Relationships shouldn’t be that hard.
If you’re in a place that you wouldn’t even consider leaving the dog in; That’s your answer
Try to work it out for your baby but can’t continue like this, you need to do date nights and reconnect and you need to have more help and time for yourself
Let that man leave, he tried. Let him leave. Y’all gotta stop holding on to toxic because of kids and a puppy (a puppy tho 
)
Leave that man! Nothing will change🥺
HE decided you’re still together
First get rid of the dog now is not the time to have one especially a puppy sorry. Second know your worth and don’t allow him to dismiss your concerns. Ask him straight out about bills etc… does your 2 year old nap if not get your kids on a schedule. While they are napping go take a shower and get yourself together! Then worry about straightening up the house. Communication is key. If he’s not interested it’s time to rid yourself of his baggage. Like I said know your worth !
Need to leave asap it will only get worse
This is upsetting to even read! Unfortunately you need to put an end to it before it effects your child ! Leave NOW!!!
A relationship is 50/50 don’t settle for crap
This is NOT the beginning of a relationship . If he’s controlling financially abusive and essentially ignores you as you have separate lives you sound like a divorced couple. Why are you waiting f or him to dump you? You don’t sound happy. You sound a little post partum/depressed and overwhelmed (anxiety). You need to be supported and helped. If you can leave or separate that may be the right thing to do. If you think this will get better ( it’s not if you aren’t a team and he is not actively including you in life plans and expenses) try couples counseling. You need to be ok and this doesn’t sound healthy or like something you should want to continue.
Nope. This is unhealthy. You’re doing most of it by yourself already. It would be better to leave