So I’m in a situation I never thought nor wanted to be in. I & my sons father are splitting up over some b.s. That his family started w me, basically, he doesn’t back me up & expects me just to let them walk all over me & won’t put them in their place when it comes to our family. His mom wants control over everything, even the decisions we make regarding our son. & he allows it, allows her to always get her way bc it’s her way or no way. Anyways, I’m not gonna have him tell me that I cause all the problems when I know I don’t, so I’m just leaving. They tried to physically fight me at my son’s 1st birthday party & yet I’m the bad guy. I’ve told my bf & my mil that she will not be seeing him for a while bc what she did in front of my son was totally uncalled for. But as u can guess, I’m just “using my son” as a way to get back at her. She has also been high on pills around my son. She’s never alone w him though & when I notice she is high we don’t visit long & he stays right by my side. Well, I express my concerns w my bf & he just makes excuses for her saying it’s her medicine that makes her nod off, slur her words & basically just act like a zombie. Either way, I don’t want my son exposed to that & nobody can see my point of view on that. Not to mention that I know she will talk down on me to my son if I’m not around. I’ve caught her doing it before when she didn’t think I could hear her. I appreciate he can’t understand now, but my whole concern is how do I get over the fact that he’s going to be seeing her without me around. I know that when we make our split final, after I move all my things, he’s gonna want to take him to see them & I’m not gonna lie. It’s going to bother me so much. I’ve never even been away from him since he’s been born, so I’m going to be upset that he won’t be with me & upset that I’m not gonna know what’s going to be happening around my son.
Your other half needs to grow up first of all bc once people start bringing children into this world no longer are either family first. Your children and spouse are first
Get you a lawyer, your kid doesn’t need to be around a drug head. I’m sure the courts will give you full custody.
Go to court and file for custody and child support because if you don’t he could take him for visitation and not give him back till theirs a court order in place
Divorce that momma boy!
When you go to court for custody, bring up grandma’s drug habit and the parental alienation they’ve been starting. A judge will take all that into consideration.
You could go for visits under supervision.
Restraining order/court order saying he can’t be around them… make sure u have proof tho
Don’t let your son go with him if you know he’ll be around that. Your right 100%… is run and leave skid marks. Your a great mom for protecting your son from that environment and getting away from that childish mommas boy
Just my opinion but until you have a court order I would not let him see your son without you being present.If his mom is that manipulative then she could get him to keep him and there would be nothing you could do about it without a court order.
I left my husband for a year because his mom was like this… Told my 3 year old daughter (step) if I spanked her again mawmaw was gonna whoop my a**. She would come in my house and just walk in, would go in my fridge and give the kids snacks constantly while I was cooking. Told my husband I killed her cat. Said I snuck into her house and broke her oven up. Told my husband I wouldnt be back until he could quit being a mommas boy and take up for me (wife) because I choose to be with him. Took a year but now we are back together. Have been for about 5 years!! Our 7 year wedding anniversary is this November!! And we now have a beautiful 7 month old baby to go along with our 11 year old daughter!! Me and his mom get along now… But it took some heart ache…
Talk to a lawyer or counselor, possibly see if you can record what is happening or save texts, so that you gave proof of what is happening.
You leaving may make him grow up. If not you still made the right decision. If you go for custody abd hes granted 50/50 you wknt have much say in what happens when baby isnt with you unless its on paper before hand.
I agree with everyone. You can’t leave him with drug abusers. And you know he will leave your child with her. Especially if he works. It’s a toxic relationship and you have to stand up for yourself and protect your son. Good luck.
These kids nowadays are always put in situations they shouldn’t be if you guys split then a contract needs to be made that if he gets the child for a day or two the child cannot be around his mother the contract needs to be signed by the boat of used and notarized and if he breaks it do not allow your son to go with him anymore or do supervised visits
Was the police called as for the birthday party? If so get copies of the police report to back up why you don’t want the baby around Grandma. It will be she said he said if you bring up her pill addiction. Don’t dwell on it bc you don’t want the judge thinking its all about the Grandma.
Unless he’s staying at her house then YES bring the party/pill problem up.
You are doing the right thing for you and your son.
Get a lawyer
Make sure when you go to your custody hearing you tell the judge al of this!
Get a restraining order on them all. There is no excuse to have violence around a child, that’s child endangerment. The drugs, I definitely wouldnt allow my child around someone who is slurring or nodding off cause your child will notice that and think its okay. Its totally not. Restraining order and NOW
Ask for a court order she is not to he around your child unless you supervise. Require drug tests. I know she is on medication but she should only be on it when NOT with baby. If ask for supervised visits on everyone especially since it got physical.
You said he’s your boyfriend… So you don’t have to let him take your child away from your home when he visits. Until he goes to court and gets legitimized and pursues a custody arrangement then I wouldn’t allow him to take my son out of my house. If you do and you know he takes the child to his mother’s house when there is a court hearing it will look bad on you for allowing it to happen. The judge will literally look at you like a bad parent for allowing him to take your child out of your home knowing that he was taking him to a place where drugs are being used and abused. If you condone something your just as bad as the person doing it in the courts eyes. I’m a paralegal I’ve seen it happen. So unless you can move far away then I wouldn’t be allowing him to leave with my baby if I were you. Not until he pursues it legally and you can tell the judge the reason I haven’t allowed him to leave my home with my child is bc his mother is a drug addict and I don’t want my child around that. The judge will then prob order that he not take the child around his mother until she receives some sort of treatment.
Talk to a lawyer. Have custody and visitation taken care of. With the visitation agreement, stipulate the child is not allowed with the grandmother alone, stating the reasons why. I would advise against a restraining order, unless the attack was VERY recent (like within the week). Filing a restraining order over something that’s happened previously, especially if only done after you and bf split, may make it look very much like you’re being spiteful. I assume a police report was never filed when the incident happened?
Did you document them getting physical? You can take that to court and explain why supervised visits would be the best option until they can prove they’ve cleaned up
go to court,you gave birth …they need supervised visits
Get a judge to grant you soul custody and follow through with supervised visits. Get a good lawyer.
Went through that a while myself not with all of them some were very good to me. But he didn’t have to say anything I got them myself. You’ve got to put your big panties on and go after the problem. If your husband don’t like it,take a bite out of him. Now go for it.
Can’t you go to court and get it so the grandmother only has supervised visitation? I’m not sure how it works but you do what’s best for you and your child! I’d do the same thing. No one will tell me how to raise my child.
Document, document, document, and get friends who you talk to to back you up in testimony before the court.
You will want to get as restrictive visitation by dad & his family as possible.
Get a good pit bull lawyer. The cost will be worth it in the long run.
Get a custody agreement in place. Contact a lawyer and take him for custody. Try to get the most custody but settle for 50/50 if you have to but make your concerns with what he has been exposed known.
Big hugs.
You do have a rough road ahead of you.
But…YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS.
LEAVE.
See an Attorney asap.
DOCUMENT.
DOCUMENT
DOCUMENT
Cant stress this enough.
PROOF.
save.
Print out bad text messages because you will get them.
Save threatening voice mail.
Maybe you can.move away and they w leave you alone.
File for child support.
Sometimes that alone will make them drop off.
YOU MUST PROTECT YOUR CHILD.
AND YOU.
YOU OWE NO ONE YOUR CHILD.
It is possible to legally keep bad parents, grandparents out of your childs life.
His mom HAS NO RIGHTS.
NONE.
She w push and push.
Your baby daddy will never KEEP YOU SAFE.
NEVER KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE.
If he fights to see child PUSH for supervised visits.
Most trash won’t care enough to do that.
Too much trouble.
YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD.
AND YOU.
OK ?
YOU GOT THIS.
Hopefully you have good family and friends.
O.K. First of all I don’t know what state you live in so I don’t know how it is there legally but You say he is your Boyfriend not husband so his rights are somewhat limited. Go to the police and explain that you do not want his family around your son because of their drug use. (prescription or not abuse is abuse) Let them know that you have legitimate concerns and tell your boyfriend that if he wants to see your son it will be on your terms …DEFINITELY not on his moms. She really has NO rights and I would make sure she understood that.My daughter had a problem with her ex-boyfriends family and his family has not seen my grand daughter in like over 5 years. She went to C.P.S. herself and explained why. You can let your boyfriend see your child WHILE in your home and tell him that his mother is not welcome!! If his mom tries to tell you that Grandparents have rights tell her Addicts don’t and if she wants to push it tell her to take it to court (She won’t …otherwise her addiction to prescription drugs will be brought to light…) Good Mothers put their children first…you need to protect your son and that means protecting his mama as well.
Wow. If my husband family threaten me on my kids bday party i would def call the cops and make a report. I dont do well with threats like phyically hurting me. Hell no.
Your bf can visit your son at your home. If he has a problem with you not letting him take him then he can go to court and file for that.
I dont underatand some MIL thinks they are the parent and think its ok to give opinions what to do with your kid.
This is going to sound harsh, but it’s just the truth of the matter hun… You can’t control any of this, especially if y’all do split. Even if his mother is using drugs, as long as he doesn’t leave her alone with your son there’s really not much you can do, unfortunately. I agree kids shouldn’t be exposed to shit like that at all, but each and every person is different, thinks different, parents differently, ect. So please just use this as a hard learned lesson and be careful who you have children with in the future! Ppl don’t discuss things like parenting styles, styles of discipline, what they do and don’t want around their children, what they will and won’t allow their children to be exposed to, ect BEFORE getting pregnant almost ever and these things should be discussed early on! We all know sex can lead to ending up pregnant even if we are careful… so if you know you disagree fundamentally on big issues, you shouldn’t even be having sex with them. I was young and made mistakes so I’m not preaching to you at all. But all these women are going to tell you all this info and it’s false. You could keep the child from the dad but that hurts your child also and if he fights for his rights he WILL get them eventually anyway but then you 2 will be on even worse terms than if you TRY to keep it civil now. And like I said, while this may not sound right and I don’t agree, even if the mother is on street drugs, as long as he’s not alone with her no court can say boo about it. I’m so sorry you’re going through this😥 And I can guarantee you he will call you crying at some point or another knowing he fucked up over family that isn’t even worth it. But none of that makes it any easier when you’re going through it. Start trying to document things and get evidence if you are going to fight in court. Call the police if they assault you… take pictures… records interactions. If you ever see the mom all fucked up make sure you take video of it🤷♀️ But again, he will still get some kind of rights to your child ultimately. But don’t let yourself make this same mistake again! If you learn your lesson, it’s a learning experience but if you keep doing the same stuff then you’re the fool🤔 Don’t ever let any man make you the fool!
This is a hard fight. Harder than it should be. I went through this with a MIL who not only has a record of drugs , repeated rehab visits , prison time , but also a police report with her physically hurting me. I paid over 3 grand but at the end of it my ex can still give me notice and then take my kids around her. He got this granted because he “will be the parent supervising”. Good luck. This isn’t easy at all. Just cut off all communication and move far away.
If you have worries about her medication/drug use, you can tell the court that you have no problems with visitation regarding the father, as long as he doesn’t take the child around the mother! Violence and drug use should never be around children. When you first split, offer visitation in your home for a while. Just dont let him take him out. If he takes it to court, have as much documentation as possible to back you up. Even if its print outs of texts, emails, social media comments. Install a call record onto your phone, and record any communication with that side of the family, as this can also be used to back you up in court. Stay calm and concise and dont get into bitching/slanting matches, as it looks bad in both parties. I struggled with this massively with my ex, as he had a history of violence with me, yet consistently denied it all. So I used to get sucked into the fights and the nasty name calling.
Lastly, look after yourself mama! It’s a difficult thing that your gonna have to give through. When it gets tough and you feel crappy or alone, give your little one a huge squeeze, then have a nice relaxing bubble bath with a glass of wine and a good book!
Good luck sweetie c
Run, run, run. File a restraining order on all of them and forget about them. Sounds like a marriage I was in. Things will be hard for a litttle while but you will enjoy no yelling, fighting before long.
This is the second post today ive read with very similar situations and just wanna let you ladies know that you are legit not alone … I honestly thought i might be the only one who deals with the same situations. I wish i had advice for u hun, my family is on the verge of splitting up too because of bfs mother and family. Its a sad shame
So, this is what the court system is for… if there is domestic violence and concern over someone being intoxicated, prescribed or not, around your son, you have to file for custody with supervised visitation. This whole helpless attitude doesn’t bode well for your child. Your sole duty in life is to protect your children above all else. If it is a toxic environment for you, imagine what it does to a child. Get out and don’t let your child be alone around people you do not trust to take proper care of them mentally, physically, and emotionally. You’re the mother, you have rights, I suggest you grow a pair and fight for your child.
Once you decide to split you have to make peace with the fact that you will not have control during his visit times and that you will always worry. You are a mom, you are gonna be worried, that’s normal. But remember that during your time you will be making a peaceful, stable environment for your child and that is the important part. The courts are going to give dad his visit time, and the courts are not going to allow you to dictate how his visits go. They will let him take his kid to see whoever he wants. And unless his mom has some kind of criminal record they aren’t going to intervene.
That is where the courts come in sis! U ont find peace without the court intervening
My ex and his mom were like this. You’re doing the right thing because it will never change!!! My ex was only given supervised visits in my home. He stopped coming about a year in. It’s been 6 years now since he’s seen my kids and they are better for it. His mom hasn’t seen them since we split 7 years ago.
Did she know the mother was like this before she had the child?
If you truly feel like your son is in danger around that family then you need to file custody papers specifying the dangers.
I would be getting a lawyer involved ASAP. It sounds like your boyfriend’s mother could be an unsafe environment for a child. If she is trying to fight and be high with the baby around then she doesn’t need to be around. That is unhealthy and toxic. I think it’s fine for the kiddo to see his dad but the rest of the family needs to stay the hell away
O had a very similar problem. Members of my hubbys family talking crap to me and telling lies. Even made phone calks to try and ruin me, take my freedom, destroy my finances. I got tired of them getting away with it and I started whipping asses, literally. Now I have the upper hand and noones talking trash anymore. Dont wsit for him to stand up for u. Stand up for urself and when he sees ur strength he will fall into place.
Id be going to court to get supervised visits to start
Go to court. Get supervised visitation, that way, you will be there when they visit your son
Idk what state you live in but where I live the mother has all the legal rights & he would have to take you to court for visitation. Check your states laws, if you let your son go with him what’s to say he’s gonna bring him back if you don’t have full custody. Hopefully y’all can come to mutual terms & just be parents for your son outside of all the bs, at the end of the day he’s got 1 Momma & 1 Daddy!! Best to you & your son
Umm… get custody established before ANY visitation…
He can just not give kiddo back of its not established. .
Set up visitation and see if it can be monitored… at least for a bit…
I think you have to try to put your personal feelings aside and allow your bd to parent your son without you trying to control everything that they do when they are together. She doesn’t like you, that’s very common, I have the same issue but I don’t stop my bd from taking my son to see the in laws. It’s not like he’s giving custody to his mom. If you don’t trust your bd ability to be a father to your kid then you should take this issue to court and show the court why he shouldn’t have any say in his life.
You need to go see the police. Here is Australia grandparents dont automatically have rights, as sad as that may sometimes be. I would not be letting my children anywhere near a woman like that.
What it comes down to is, leave, go through the court to set up visitation and keep any proof that she is unsafe around your child. When court comes up have it on file that you do not feel safe around her and you’re concerned about the welfare of your child when he is around her.
I’m just curious about the birthday fight. You’re saying they just out of nowhere attacked you? Or was it mutual combat?
Do you live with his mom? If not, why are you spending time with her if she hates you?
And if ANYONE attacked me, I’m getting the police involved. Why didnt you file charges?
Seems odd that your BF sides with a drug “addicted” mom, unless he’s an addict too.
I don’t belong to this group I saw this post on a fathers rights page and it really got to me because you sound like a very great mom, my daughters mom took her away and I haven’t been able to find them in 6 years, I’ve done research on family law and what I can advise is to have everything noted as far as rude obscene texts and such and as for the mother in law she has no say so in anything if her son was any kind of a man he would stand up to her because if that’s what your son will be around his visitation will be very limited the laws state what’s in the best interest of the child so just always keep that in mind if you feel your son is not safe around them they can require supervised visitations just make yourself clear when you go to court!! Best of luck to you and your son I pray it all gets worked out
Get an order of protection again your mil with your son’s name on it. Then she won’t be allowed around him and if father takes him over there he will be in violation of protection order and will have to answer to court. Try to get proof, videos of her slurring her words, etc
I’ve been in this situation before with my own mum. He needs to grow up and start standing up for himself. I went to relationship counseling and it’s called mummy syndrome. He basically still wants his mum to run his life because he hasn’t grown up yet. But at the same time he is scared to upset the one person that’s been with him his entire life. It’s hard to get him to understand. Good luck 
Get out. This is YOUR family, not his mothers, or your mothers. Decisions should be made by you, not Mama, or Mama’s Boy.
Yhooooo I cannot believe how cruel you are ALL OF YOU HERE who are giving advice.
You are not cruel, you are EVIL!!!
None of you are attempting to advise her on how to save her relationship.
None of you advise her on how to get him focus on her and their son.
None of you advise her to not cut the relationship, the bond he has with their son.
None of you realise that it is the RIGHT OF EVERY CHILD to grow up having equal access to both Mom and Dad.
None of you are thinking about what kind of attitude this little child will have to parenting, in his relationships when he grows without balanced parenting.
All of you are cheering this woman to the cliff, making her to be the bad social statistic of single parenting, her son growing up fatherless, opening her up to multiple boyfriends in her life as she would possible move from this to another, to another, to another. None of you think of how that would affect her future, affect the reasoning and definition of her son’s life.
None of you are advising her to seek mediation so that she saves the family unit (her, the boyfriend and son). She does not gave to live with the Mom of the boyfriend. There are other options which would save her family unit.
80% of the kids packing up the hails are from single parenting, 80% of the domestic violence are from men who grew up without a father in his life; rape, gender based violence and and and and and and and.
None of you are thinking about that.
None if you wish this woman peace and happy life.
Many of you are liars, you are in similar situations like her but not doing what you are advising her to do.
Shame on you!!!
Your son cannot be kept away from his father. You can however ask for supervised visits. Remember you do not want to allienate your child. I dont see anything the father does accept interference from MIL. You are away from that so remember he is the father and have a right to see his child.
You need to have the baba, give him or her to the father. No real , good parent will even think of doing this to a child. I am so discussed and so disappointed in reading all the comments. Shame on you. This is why the world is a total disasters and our children don’t no the meaning of love. If you had slept with him making a baby, and he was good enough to be in bed with. Grow up, and be parents , children needs both parents in their live. Shame on you for even thinking that. You need to go to jail, if you want to alienate the child from the father. And what about his or her Grandparents … no no no I will burn for this. Don’t do it. Don’t even think of this and all the people saying it ok , shame on you…
Obviously the court needs to no what medicine shes on. Sounds like shes taking to much. Put everything in papers and go to court. Dont let him take your son. Get child support to.
Let him go he will hate it … good luck stay strong in your morals
Take your son. & lieve
Dont allow you child to go with him since it is abusive to be around drugs and bullying…then put out the rules and stand up for your child!!! They will change or lose out…Block all their #'s…take charge.
You’re going to leave a relationship because of his family? I had very similar issues & we moved into our own home & made our own decisions. You’re the adult, you and your partner need to work through things, if not for yourselves for your children- because you are PARENTS now. Don’t take the easy way out because of others actions
That is awful. I hope things get better for you.
File for child support. Visitation will be scheduled. That isc when you speak your mind about mil issues. Have your ammo (evidence) ready. No hear say allowed. Just tell it like you saw it.
Once you split with you’re boyfriend, you have no say in what he does there as long as it’s safe. Please don’t keep him from seeing his dad because of this. He deserves both parents in his life. I would have kept my visit’s very short and limited the mil time with my son if she acted that way and not given it a second thought.
I wouldn’t leave, just limit visits. You don’t live with her. Leaving might be what she wants you do. Selective hearing, it is a learned ability to just walk away like you didn’t hear it. You will come home and she isn’t there. Decisions about your son, just say you will think about it.
Believe me when I tell you it will never get better. Pack your things and leave when he isn’t there to save confrontation. Don’t let him know where you are at. Later if he begs to reconcile, tell him he will have to set his foot down first with his family. You and your child should come first, and he should stand up for you. My husband did the same thing. His family was horrible and interfering! After a long marriage, we got a divorce. He saw his family for what they really were when they crapped all over him too, and I wasn’t around to blame. He wanted to come back to me later on, but I told him his family would never be welcome in our lives. It was his choice. He chose me.
this shouldnt be posted here, but this is a toxic family and you need to do everything you can to get away from them and keep away forever. speaking from experience.
Document every interaction and conversation. Statements backed up by tome and place and exact conversations hold.much.more weight. Since you aren’t married the court will require a paternity test and probably establish visitation based on normal parenting time guidelines. If you have some mk proof you are more likely to get supervised visits and have more control over your babies surroundings.
get out and do not let them know where you are for a while and get a good lawyer he will handle the hard stuff
Why do people post this stuff on “My Favorite Holiday” site???
Tell him by dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out
Why is this on this Holiday site?? Just go and dont look back
How about talking about your FAVORITE HOLIDAY!!!
Admin should delete before letting it post to this site. I thought the admins were responsible for allowing only posts the site is to be used for.
Besides wrong spot to post this
Sounds like my family holidays…lmao