My boyfriend and I argue about marriage and kids: Advice?

If he treats you like you and your child how you deserve to be treated, then I would wait a couple more years (2). If he isn’t ready then, tell him it isn’t gonna work out anymore. That’s what I would do personally.

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You can’t force someone to marry you if they don’t want to. 🤷 Also if he says he’s not ready for kids then you need to listen to him. If you have a child together and he’s not ready he could leave. I was with someone who wasn’t ready for kids or marriage. We split and it was the best thing for the both of us.

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Cut right now,he doesn’t really want a family with you, when he meets that person you will see how fast the baby come without him thinking too long. your soul mate is waiting for you my dear, trust me, never wrong…

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Megan Jordan your dad taught you well. I could not have said it any better myself. 4 years is long enough for anyone to know if they want something or not, whatever it might be.
Girl read and reread Megans post. I wish you the best of luck😘

This should be a topic t
hat you should be able to openly talk about with him it sounds like he is communicating with you that he does not want marriage and he does not want a child of his own so now you have to take that information and decide is that something that is very important to you is marriage super important in order to stay in a relationship

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praying that you have a good outcome to this. don’t wait to long that you’re biological clock ticks away and can’t have anymore kids.

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I’m sorry that it’s such a hard thing to feel, think about, and be going through.
In my opinion, I’d say be with someone who feels the same as you. If you really think he will be ready in a year or so then yea maybe wait it out but if he’s not then your wasting your precious time. I also think it’s better to have kids at a young age and not old haha
You just have the energy to care for them I think idk. Honestly doesn’t sound good though for marriage or a baby from this guy. If he’s not feeling it, he may never and I think it will just get harder as he gets older. I think he likes his current freedom from marriage and child.

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There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby for whatever reason, or to be married. The problem boils down to if you two are compatible. If you both want a different thing, that’s okay but you need to think about if those things are a deal breaker for you before investing more years and building resentments. If it comes down to “one of you giving in” either side of the coin is going to leave half of the relationship with resentments. Have an open honest discussion with your partner and make a plan.

My boyfriend and I have been together 11 years have two wonderful children together, both he and I have kids from previous relationships and we are very happy not being married.

“” why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free “”… move on…be happy…pray for a man that loves your child as much as you…and wants children.

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It’s time for you to get out. You and your child deserve so much better. If hes telling you that after 4 years hes never gonna know. You are better than to settle. Find someone that will love you and your child and want y’all and will want to add to your family. Take it from me. Been there lived down that road. Now I am married to my soul mate. Dont settle

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God will find u the right man! It is obvious that this one is by far not the right one for you …Sorry to say

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If he’s not ready for marriage and a child then there’s nothing you can do. You can’t force it. Give it time. He might change his mind?!

A man knows what he wants . Does not seem like you are all he wants . Sorry is the harsh truth . Don’t let this men keep having you as a pass time until what he really wants comes along for him

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I dont think this is something anyone else cant tell you. If kids mean that much to you and you dont want to wait, you already know the answer. But if you want to marry him and he isnt ready AND is telling you it will happen just not right now then wait. If it’s gotten to the point you ask strangers you probably already know what you’re going to do.

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My boyfriend was 39 when we started dating, he didn’t think he wanted kids. (I have a son from a previous relationship.)
Long story short, we’ve been together for over four years. We also have a two year old together. You just never know what could happen.

Stop wasting your time on this fella. After 4 years and he still wont marry you…that should’ve been your 1st sign. If he dont know “you’re the one” after 4 years…he’s never gonna know. If you truly want more kids and he doesn’t, you definitely need to move on because you’re not getting any younger. Again, he doesn’t love you if he wont commit.

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are you going to wait around for his maybe to turn into a definite no?
the two of you aren’t on the same page after four years , doesn’t sound like you will ever be. most importantly think of yourself and what’s best for you and your daughter, what example are you showing her? don’t ever give up your dreams for someone else.

GET OUT WHOLE YOU CAN I have been with a guy 10 years he does not accept my 3 children I’m trying to get out of it

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Time to cut ties he doesn’t want the same thing as you

Just don’t understand the dumbness, he’s being honest with you, respect that damn

Why stay with someone so long without being married ? Is this what you want for your child

Why buy the cow when the milk is free, is an old saying. Basically why get married, when you have already committed to the life style.
Anyone living that life style, and not married are just afraid of a real commitment. They alway want that door open to leave, to go shopping for the next adventure.
He is just comfortable with you, not committed to you. He is looking at his Own self interest.

I see a lot of comments stating he doesn’t really want her because he doesn’t want to have kids/marriage right now… My BF made it clear from the first day we started talking that he does not want kids or marriage and we have been together for 2 years now!! Just because a man doesn’t want kids in marriage does not mean he doesn’t want her, he doesn’t want marriage or kids!! :woman_facepalming:… No wonder so many of you are single!!

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Decide what you want more. Him, or a family.

Dont rush him he will run

You got do what is best for you

What if he makes you wait so long you never have another child? Would you still love him and want to be with him?

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my next comment … my boyfriend and his ex never wanted kids… or marriage…well she ended up pregnant in 2005 … she stayed in the relationship until 2012 … left them and moved to Arizona…she pays child support… claims she just can’t be a mom…so I’m helping my boyfriend raise the kid… now 14 yrs old…some times things work out for the best in a bad situation later on down the road.

Don’t push him. If he doesn’t want kids he will resent you and the child, same for marriage. If you want kids and a marriage you need to find someone else.

He is being totally honest with you. He doesn’t want children right now. Please respect that. He may never want children. In fact, I don’t blame him. Please don’t allow a pregnancy to happen and expect him to be happy about it. He just doesn’t want to have kids and there is nothing wrong with that. Don’t have any more children unless you are married. Too many single women out here with several children, no two of them have the same daddy, and she wasn’t married to either of them. Stop giving your life away to these guys. Find a GOOD man to marry who wants the same things you do.

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4 years??? I hangout with men more than women my brother and father have taught me well if a man truly wants it all with you he will give you the all he doesnt want marriage or children after 4 years and wants to wait several more years than thats a big sign someone is either afraid of full commitment other than boyfriend and girlfriend or he just doesnt want that commitment with you i was men who strung me along but once they got with someone else they were married a few months later with a baby on the way they didnt want me cuz they knew in their hearts i wasnt the true one for them it happens i was with someone for 4 years have a baby with him too but guess what? He never really wanted me and honestly i never really wanted him i ended up hating him wasnt sure how he felt but i hated him i never wanted marriage from him i didnt want anymore babies with him now im with someone we been together for 2 years we have a son together we getting married next month when someone wants all of you they will give you the all no matter what honey i had to repeat that again…

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Dump him and move on.

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