Oh gosh that’s scary that he thinks that way 
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You can’t spoil a baby, that’s the only way they know how to tell you something is wrong is by crying 
It’ll all change once the baby is here
Newborns can’t be independent… SMH I would advise some parenting books …
Babies cry cuz they are hungry need changing gassy or just want bonding he needs to get real
Newborns need to be attended to . I also agree when a baby is 6 mth or 8 mth then if they cry out they can benefit from learning to self sooth as long as they have been feed , changed and are not sick in any way . If they learn to be in a play. Yard and play and know they are ok I think that’s healthy. It’s a fine line .
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They need to be cuddled, it’s a bonding that both of you need. If the husband has a fit tell him to go cry it out in a corner and learn to be independent 
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Just cuddle with your baby
Newborn can’t be spoiled
And you wouldn’t want to regret not holding your baby as much as you want just because others say to leave them be.
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You spoil your baby. He will change his mind when the baby is born. Enjoy your baby and tell him to do one!!!
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Newborns need alot of holding, my son is 15 months and still Loves his cuddle times, but hes also fiercely independent! You get to learn the type of cries very quickly!!! My lil one has an “oh I fell over, I’m grumpy with myself cry” and a " I fell and am hurt!" Cry, likewise he had different crys as a newborn, when we were going through hell, getting a diagnosis of milk allergy while lockdown number 1 was going on and doctors didnt want anyone in surgeries! You learn your babies cries, and get to understand which is which, a newborn doesnt cry for no reason, they could be telling you about a leaky nappy, a wet bib, over tired, hungry, I was left a plastic tag inside the leg of of onesie by mistake, and lil one cried for 2 hours before I found it! After already checking everything else lol. Boyfriend will change aswell once he has a baby in his hands, its very hard to ignore a cry x
A newborn has to be responded to or it will develop severe psychological problems. Get your midwife to talk to him. He can’t be left alone with the baby when it arrives unless he agrees to pick the baby up if it cries.
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Wow parent your infant how you want to. You as it’s mother know what’s best, infants cannot be spoiled and are not old enough to self soothe for many months. He sounds like your average inexperienced man who thinks he knows it all.
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You hold that baby. Constantly. Love is not something a child can have too much of.
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There are many many studies to suggest you man’s belief us old outdated and incorrect.
The more you love on and cuddle on your baby the more secure they’ll feel, which encourages more healthy independence for not only the young years but later on in life.
Love on your baby.
I think you and you man should go to some parenting type counsel /classes. There’s free options in my area- reach out to local churches or even try your areas dhhs to gain clues or ideas to find somewhere for your new family to get on the same page of how to better care for your baby.
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They are only little once and babies need to be held and cuddled!! They are use to the constant movement and heartbeat sound is womb so need it on the outside as well!!
Some crying is necessary it does help develope lungs. Some say it helps develope self comfort. A baby does cry for different reasons and soon you will learn what the different cry’s mean and you will know when to cuddle and when to cry it out.
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Hold him as much as u can otherwise it will break your bond if u allow ur bf to stop u from holding / cuddling him
Guess you’ll be doing most of the work then unless bf has a change of heart
So I don’t think anyone really knows what it’s like until you actually have the baby. If it’s both of your firsts, then try not to worry so much about what your bf thinks yet. BUT I do think he is wrong…babies need all of the love and affection all of the time. Having said that, I have a 5 and 2 year old that we still sit with in their rooms at bedtime until they fall asleep. 
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A newborn should always be cuddled as much as possible it’s when they get older you start the leave a while with crying
Actually you both are right. Yes a newborn should be held and comforted but let’s be realistic sometimes you can’t hold them every single time they open their mouth. Remember we are our kids teachers and they need to be taught from day one. Now of course you don’t let a baby cry for hours on end but if they cried for a hot minute that’s not wrong. Especially if all their needs have been met and they just wanna be in your arms. Again there is nothing wrong with holding your baby. But there is nothing wrong if you set him down for a second and he makes a little noise.
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Newborns cry because they need us. Don’t stress about it now. Things will be different when the baby comes
I dont agree x the cry training comes later not at the newborn stage they only cry for a reason at that age x
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Let the baby be born once… his views and parenting techniques are soon going to change… mothers fall in love with the baby before he/she is born… fathers fall in love with them after they are born. Right now you shouldn’t stress yourself out by over thinking. Once the baby is born, he himself won’t be able to see him crying unattended
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They cry because they are hungry or wet human touch is better. Those lessons will be taught later in life
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Your baby will cry more than you both think it should. It will need more hugs then sometimes it will be okay for him to cry. But you will know the difference between want and need as a mumma trust your gut and instincts as your the one the baby will want.
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Self soothing comes later. I know each time I was pregnant, I felt physical pain when my baby would cry. Mostly in my breasts because of milk, but that’s not the point. I don’t believe babies have a concept of being spoiled vs being loved and comforted and building that bond with baby. Now, I saw a comment that stated you can’t hold him all the time, and girl that is so true. You have to shower, you need to do laundry or whatever else your household needs. And there is nothing wrong with letting him cry for a bit while you tend to other things. You’ll learn your babies cries. You’ll know I’m hungry babe I’m scared or tired vs nothing wrong I just don’t wanna be alone. Parenthood is a learning curve. I’m on number three and I think I’m just now realizing how silly some things I did with my first two are. Take time and enjoy the little one stage- it flies by! 
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Young infants aren’t capable of self soothing or manipulation. They must be tended to. Crying is literally the only thing they can do to let you know they need help. It’s never a dumb reason either. It may be a reason you can’t figure out, or a reason that you don’t personally see as an issue, but they are telling you it is, and you should try to fix it for them, or comfort them. You can let them cry for a little bit at a time when they are >6 months, so they start to learn self soothing techniques. But you also need to keep in mind that don’t have the ability to understand that you still exist when you aren’t there, and that you’re going to come back for them at some point, so you do still need to tend to them in a short time period. By that point though, you should start to learn some of their cries and you know when they are whining it out and when they are really in need of comfort. At 12 months you can push the whiney cries a little longer, or you can talk them through it instead of cuddling them all the time. At 18 months, you can let them cry unless you know they are in need of help. By 2 years, you should know why they are crying and you can determine what needs intervention and what is just a temper tantrum, but you should still help them develop appropriate coping skills by communicating how to deal with their frustration. Acknowledge their struggle and let them have their feelings. Try to guide them through their troubles. Like, if they try to hit or kick you need to say no and you tell them to breathe instead, or use a “calm down spot” and safe behavior to recover. You can also encourage them to use whatever words they already have, but understand they are limited in their ability to communicatethe whole picture to you and that adds to the frustration. It’s really important to encourage making good choices even when their feelings are really big and overwhelming, but you have to recognize that toddlers literally haven’t developed the ability to control their emotions, nor are they capable of understanding time, or longterm consequences, or exhibiting patience and self control. They are developmentally not like you. They are not tiny grown ups. Hell sometimes even grown ups aren’t grown ups. You need to know what you can ask from them based on their developmental capabilities, and only expect that, while tolerating the rest. Your partner needs to be informed of this. It’s abusive to expect more from a child than they are developmentally capable of giving. 100% abusive.
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Love and attention is not spoiling
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You can’t spoil a baby
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You can’t spoil a newborn, but when they are about 2 letting them cry for certain things is ok.
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It all comes naturally, trust me a newborn won’t stop crying until he/she is settled
Um No you cuddle and love your baby as much as you can, they are only small for a short time and we don’t get that back… a newborn needs lots of attention, you don’t start to let them cry and self sooth until they’re older
You can’t spoil a newborn. Hold and cuddle your baby as much as you want.
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He literally has no idea what tiny babies need 
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A very new newborn should never cry it out. They cry too tell you what they need. Your newborn won’t stop crying untill he or she is fed, changed, burped, and held untill asleep usually. They sleep and then cry too do it all over again. They poop tiny streaks cry you change em two minutes later they’ll poop again. It’s there method too be taken care of. An older baby at 6 months old sure try it for sleep training or whenever you guys are ready. When my babies started crying for no reason it was bc there was a reason.when all boxes were checked it was Teething or sickness. Tell daddy he’s gonna learn. Lol.
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The only time they tell u too let them cry is when all parties can’t figure out why baby is crying. Take a 5-10 minute break always rather than getting frustrated and shaking your baby bc u don’t know what’s wrong. I would never shake s baby but that’s the medical advice I was given for crying it out if needed and why.
Babies don’t have independence…
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Babies need to be held
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Newborns rely on crying to communicate.
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Hold your baby. 
my so tried to tell me the same thing that I was gonna spoil them. Oh 
they’re my kids and I’m the one that’s gotta deal with them so I raise them how I want. When the baby comes he might change his mind anyway. He’ll be holding that baby lol
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I feel like thats what a lot of dads say, my uncle used to say “I’ll let her cry” about my cousin and then once she was actually born he was the first on to run to her when she cried lol I would wait and see how he is when the baby is actually here before having doubts or fighting about ways to parents it always changes the parents when the kid is born vs. In the womb
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Babies cry when they need something. They dont do it to manipulate. And you CANT spoik a newborn.
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Newborns should absolutely be picked up. As they get a little older that can switch, in my opinion. I have twins. Cry it out was something that just happened by default, so I’ve been on both sides. But, newborns definitely need to be picked up.
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Babies can’t be independent
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You cant spoil a new born they cry because they need something or they need you. After they start crawling they will get more independent and wont want held so much .
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He’s wrong. They need to be nurtured. Show him literature from professionals. Then cuddle your baby.
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You pick that Baby up and cuddle 
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I constantly held mine for newborn stage then they start learning self soothing g after a few months
You should love your kid more and keep it away from him. Don’t leave him alone with that baby
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Hold that baby it’s not spoiling them you are their comfort
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Throw out the whole man.
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There is such a thing as the 4th trimester. That’s the 3 months after birth when they NEED to feel that comfort and warmth of their mommy. They spend 9 months inside this nice cozy warm place and suddenly they’re thrust into a big cold world. They need to be held. NEED it. You can’t spoil a baby.
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Babies don’t cry for no reason.
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You know my baby daddy said this as well and then he ended up being more of a push over then me.
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Nobody will EVER tell me not to hold and cuddle MY baby. Period.
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Newborns and infants cry if something is wrong, please don’t always listen to others advice. You will know the difference when babe is born(:
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How does holding a child spoil them? If you hear that it’s a total myth and I encourage you to hold them because that stage of life doesn’t last long.
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The way he is wanting to parent is unnatural and does the opposite of what he wants. Babies cry as a form of communication.
If I was with this boyfriend I wouldn’t be able to trust him alone with the baby. I would probably end up leaving.
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I see his point if it was a toddler your trying to get out of a stage or something, but that certainly cannot apply to an infant. Crying is there only way of communicating that something is wrong. Hunger, wetness, pain ect ect.
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He’s an idiot. Babies have no comprehension of independence because they ARE dependent on you. Please tell him to do some research on fourth trimester and child development. Mama you are in the right!
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That’s more so after they are older like 6months and older.
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They’re only little for a moment, coddle and carry your baby. Mom instinct kicks in, believe me, you’ll be listening to no man.
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Hold your baby all you want! Its what they need when they are little…they don’t know how to be independent and its scary outside the womb…they need to be nurtured :] your right momma
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Throw the whole baby dad out
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Babies (newborns especially) don’t understand INDEPENDENCE AND PATIENCE . Good luck to you though.
Hold your baby, babies cry as a way to communicate, it’s the only way they know how. He’s wrong. I had my children’s fathers side of the family tell me this same thing. They say i spoil my daughter (shes only 4 months old) because i pick her up when she cries to comfort her. I do it anyways. Youre mommy and thats your baby. Pick your lil baby up and comfort it
Girl, it’s too early to decide on parenting styles. U may have something planned up in your heads but you won’t know 100% anything till that baby is actually out of your body and in your arms… dad too. When the time comes you both will hear that baby cry and both want to do anything you can to make that little creation all better.
Google cry it out method & show him. Like when they get a little older, like my son is 2 now & he will fuss over nothing, so no, I don’t always give in. But a newborn & infants are 100% completely helpless. They don’t usually cry for no reason, could simply be an itch they can’t & don’t understand how to scratch. All you’re teaching that baby is not to know & understand simple comfort. The world is new & scary when you don’t yet have the mental capacity to understand much of anything.
You wait until that baby starts crying and won’t stop until mummy or daddy comfort him/her. He will understand that parenting plans don’t always go to plan.
Show him the evidence that’s out there that shows that babies cannot even mentally try to cry it out until 4-6 months. Show him the evidence that shows that babies who are held close and comforted when they cry end up being self sufficient and independent. It’s out there.
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Wow what makes him think that?? Newborns need love and comfort from there parents not to be left to cry😭
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I’d tell him to kiss my butt too. Nobody would ever tell me not to comfort my child when they are crying
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20 mins is fine to let a baby cry. After that then no its not ok to let it linger. Self soothing is a good thing to help the baby learn bc unless your planning on literally carrying the baby all the time … Down time is good. The 1st 4 months the babies crying bc food dirty diaper or needing the affection and warmth and heartbeat sounds. I agree with him up to a limit.
Babies don’t need to be independent and patient. They need to be held and loved and taken care of. They don’t cry for no reason
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As someone who was “dont hold the baby” with the first- vs ah whatever on the 2nd- we had ALOT of discipline issues with my oldest and the 2nd is the sweetest little thing. So our third (due in August) will be cuddled as much as he wants.
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Your baby has lived his whole life to birth being warm and safe and cuddled into your belly, constantly hearing your heart beat & you talking. Suddenly he’s in a bright, loud, cold, weird world & crying is his only way to communicate. Babies don’t have independence or patience. They are completely dependent on their parents.
Hold your baby. They’re only little for so long. No one ever regretted getting cuddling their baby “too much”. Not holding your baby isn’t going to make him patient or independent. It’s going to make you crazy though.
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My husband said the Same thing. He was always the first one up and seeing what our child needed. 
love that baby that are only little once.
You cuddle and hold your baby when you want to to hell with what he says!
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I understand his point from experience. If you always run to your child every time they cry eventually they will learn that that is how they get your attention and they will do it just to get your attention and to get their own way kids are not stupid they adapt they learn.
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Babies are non verbal. Crying is their way of telling you something is wrong. Sometimes, all a baby wants is their mom or dad or just to be held. Who are we as adults to deprive them of the much needed attention babies require.
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You can’t spoil a newborn. They need reassurance and to be consoled. Around 18 months is when you can start letting tantrums pan out, but always console.
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I think that a good pediatrician can advise you on the best practices
I wouldn’t agree with this at all. But I will say I didn’t pick up my babies every time they cried.
That would be so sad to let a newborn lay there and cry they need to be held and cuddled thats how they bond .
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It’s really easy to give parenting advice or talk about what you will do when you don’t (yet) have a baby. It’s ok to have different parenting styles than your partner as long as there is love and respect on both sides. Perhaps you can find a middle ground on this. Just keep talking with and listening to your partner and make sure he is listening to you.
Direct him to Google and hold your baby as often as necessary.
The “cry it out” method doesn’t work for newborns. That is used on 2 year olds who cry before bed but when newborns cry they usually do it for a reason. It is their only way to communicate. If you think a baby will just stop crying, you may be waiting a while. I would just tell him he is more than welcome to try his method when he is alone with the child (he will see it probably won’t work) but when you’re around, you’re going to do what you feel is best.
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I am in between both of you
When something is needed I believe it’s fine
But I’m not a “child on my hip their whole life” type of parent either so if there is unnecessary crying I take his stance, let em cry it out a bit and self soothe.
I think believing a newborn has independence is not how he should have worded it tho.
Look up the fourth trimester and show it to him.
Um yeah infants don’t need cry it out save that card for when they are two
My fiancé said this too. I obviously held and fed and lived our son, just had other responsibilities to worry about too such as self care animals chores and what not. Most holding beyond snuggles during my downtime between other things and bed and feedings was down hands free baby wearing so he was still against me still close but I was able to do other stuff that needed done too. He actually held our son more after work days then I did all day staying home taking care of baby animals and home 
now going on 4 years later he still is the pushover
Tell him to see what the doctors and specialists say.
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I think first get married if you want to be blessed. Then submit to your husband and let him lead you and protect you and the children. You will be the helper and nurturer. This is the plan of the Almighty in Ephesians 5:22-27. I say this as someone who did it the wrong way!
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It is literally impossible to spoil a newborn. They are adjusting to life outside of the womb. They look to the ones who fcking CREATED them for comfort. Noises, people, objects, the freaking world is new and frightening to someone who’s been very well protected in their own separate little world for nine months. The mother’s scent literally is like a pacifier or security blanket. It calms them. It grounds them. It comforts them. Hold and snuggle that baby ffs.
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A baby isn’t going to learn independence from letting them cry they will not understand why you are not there and why are you letting them cry. This is so sad
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He will change his mind as soon as he sees this baby and hears it cry, he will want to hold it and comfort it just like you
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Have him look up RAD this is a mental/behavior issue that is caused by cries not being answered as a baby. Something so simple as a cry not being answered can change the baby in years to come. I’ve been around several children who have had RAD ex. A 6 year old that chased my nana around the house with a knife. An 11 year old who tried to burn down the house. Self soothing is similar as to what he is suggesting but it isn’t when the baby is full on crying. Baby’s are meant to feel loved and safe you are in the right. Try to help educate him in effects of his suggestion.
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Newborns dont typically cry for no reason…they dont understand “self soothing”. Theres no way you can spoil an infant.
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