Go to him and tell him guess what my addittude changed. Then tell him get lost.
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Britney Hedgers marriage is technically a contract. Ensuring youāre not building a life with someone you have no legal ownership of and thereās a lot of tax incentives as well.
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I was with my last husband 24 years before he married me . Mind you I have 3 engagement rings 
. But he said similar crap to me . Change your attitude. Well quit your darn lying to people than drag me into it. I wonāt confirm your lie
Itās time to move on. Men that feel it is their decision and their decision alone to decide if / when you get married is toxic.you are both in the relationship not just him 
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I think the when your attitude changes comment would have done it for me 
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hes not gonna marry youā¦ do you want to be a gf forever or a wife?
When your āattitude changesā??
Um. My dear, you have a control freak on your hands. Trust me when I say this. Ive been talked to that same way. Been told that I WILL respect and listen. Been told that I should be careful of my approach. Been told I might want to reapproach and start over. You need to stand up for yourself and not let a man talk to you that way. I stood up for myself and got kicked out on the street with nowhere to go. Whoās character is more becoming in this situation? Thatās not the kind of role model you want for kids. Start working towards independence and self worth and move on to better days.
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Why does everything have to lead to the ring?!
Does he treat you and your daughter well? Does he provide for you and the family? I cannot understand why people have gotten so materialistic instead of focusing on the importance of how you are treatedā¦ saying that you would leave someone because he doesnāt want to spends 1000s on a ring and one big day is just sadā¦ you want a ring go by yourself one if it means that much to you
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Yepp all done. See ya buddy. Go waste someone elseās time
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Umm noā¦ not everyone wants to be married. Also, if you want to kick him to the curb bc of marriage, you might be toxic. Thatās a huge red flag.
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Ah I donāt care about marriage and never want to get married but Iām a loyal ass partner who loves my bf soā¦ If itās that important to you then maybe you should?
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Dump him. If he canāt commit now he never will. 5 years enough time to know if heās serious
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Thatās a baby dad at that point. Almost 5 yrs in, a child together and living together as if youāre living a married life already yet feeling unclaimed despite having a child, no ring even after that factā¦ Iād be annoyed too. You brought his child into this world, and he canāt even put a ring on it to give you some kind of hope for a future more solid together. Thatās a man looking to be a live-in dad but thatās about it.
4 yrs with my man, no kid but living together with a cat, and I at least have a promise ringā¦
He either doesnāt take you seriously as even the mother of his child, or take the relationship that seriously to take any further step than where you guys have gotten. You donāt have to be with the father to raise a child right. Not if you feel like heās not creating a secure enough place for you in his world to want to stay. Thatās what co-parenting is for. You donāt wanna be looking at life another 5 yrs down the road still having the same fights about the same issue he has yet to do anything about. Wait too long itāll just be harder to leave when you feel even more neglected later on. What you want should matter enough for him to address it at least have a conversation about it. If not. Then Iām sorry heās not the one regardless of if youāre parents together
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Why does he have to get married?
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if marriage was important you shouldve made it so at the beginning of the relationship. good luck.
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I know mu cuz was with his gf for 10 years he said why fix something if it aināt broken if I asked him when he getting married thet been togethere 20 years now finally got married the girl had patience and they have no kids together
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Honest question. Why should he marry you? You live with him and gave him a kid already. Maybe, if those were steps you guys had waited on, heād be more motivated. Itās a āWhy buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?ā kinda thing.
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I honestly feel like people who are in long term relationships and arenāt married are, in a way, keeping their options open. That final step of commitment hasnāt been taken
With that being said, I understand that marriage is essentially just a piece of government paper, but itās the idea behind it that means something to me
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You already had a child(ren?) together. Thatās your commitment to each other. If youāre willing to dump him because he hasnāt fallen under your timelineā¦sorry but that makes you the bad partner.
If this was an absolute deal breaker for you to be married, this should have ended before you had kids together.
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You Donāt Need to Be Married to Be Happyā¦Do You think getting that Piece of Paper Will Make things Betterā¦ Probably Not! I walked away several times when they started pushing the marriage thing, but we had No Kids together!
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Ask him specifically what you need to change. Are these valid points? Really reflect on what he says. Communication is key. If after all that and being married is so important to you but not him then that answers your own question!
sit him down & ask him. Maybe he doesnāt want to get married. And he is very happy just the way things are, All of this should have been talked about way before you had a baby together or even moved in together
Maybe he isnāt ready for it?? Just because youāve been with someone for a while and have children doesnāt mean they are mentally or emotionally ready for marriage. And why is everyone so obsessed with marriage?? You donāt have to be married to be happy in life.
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The fact that he says when your attitude changes means heās open for other options.
The question isnāt about whether he wants to get married or notā¦ Itās about his response to the question.
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I read, a person knows if they want to marry you within the first year.
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I been with my boyfriend for 10 1/2 years 2 kids and live together weāre still not married
Hahaha really ? Marry me or Iām going to leave you ā¦ā¦ no wonder he doesnāt want to marry you
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Personally, i think you guys should have a talk. If marriage is what you want (and he knew this) and he isnāt wanting it ever, and this is a deal breaker than thatās okay. You deserve to get married if you want to be married. However, if he doesnt want to be married thatās okay too but he needs to let you know so you guys can discuss your future.
Just ask yourself is he someone you can see yourself without or cant?.
Marriage isnt everything to be honest but i totally get where you are coming from. Regardless avoiding this conversation is only going to make things worse. He just needs to state how he feels about the subject so you know where he stands and you can figure out what you want to do. Just remember if he is perfect for you and you lose him over marriage you wont find another him. There are other good people out there yes but will you find your person? Especially if you want to marry this man? It seems like he is your person. Regardless this is definitely something he needs to talk to you about. But do not feel guilty for how you feel Especially if he knew prior marriage is what you eventually were seeking (not sure if he knew)
Boyfriend and I have no intention of every getting married. Heās been there, done that. Itās never been important to me. Weāre happy, weāre committed, weāre a family already so a piece of paper doesnāt really make a difference so itās no big deal.
He doesnāt want to be married to you right now (or ever). If you can accept that then continue. If it is your deal breaker then you know what to do. Besides "changing your attitude ". Was he specific because right now communication socks between you two. He shouldnāt blow you off, wasting your time. He should come right out and say what he means
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To the left to the left everything you own in a box to the left! Kick him to the curb it doesnāt take 5 years to know what you want and I definitely wouldnāt change my attitude for anyone, I love me and refuse to water myself down for a weak man
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Excuses, he really doesnāt want to marry you, if marriage is your goal look elsewhere
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it depends if marrage is a deal breaker for you? me for instance, i know i want at least one more child. so if i was with a man and thought it would be a long term thing, i would let him know that if itās not gonna result in having a child then i will walk away, thatās my deal breaker.
Maybe change your fucking attitude lmfao
Marriage is not necessarily for everyone. If everything is going good in the relationship, heās a good guy and a good dadā¦why try to fix something that isnāt broken 
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Me and my husband were together almost 10 years before we got married, already had two kids together and my oldest that he helped raise. Sometimes it just takes time, we were young when first got together, Iām glad we waited if we didnāt, we probably would have been divorced.
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Yep kick him to the kerb 
Kick his ass to the damn curb and find someone who will present and love you. There are far worse things than being single.
I have to tell you those are things that we talked about before we had a baby, before we moved in together because I didnāt believe in marriage and you have to be honest
If you really want to marry him, ākicking him to the curbā would not cross your mind. Sit down and talk about why he brushes it off. Maybe there is an issue in you guyās relationship that you arenāt mentioning. There are two sides to every story.
Not everyone wants to get married. I already been married once and it didnāt end well. I told my boyfriend that marriage was off the table and he is okay with that. It may not be that way later. If your relationship is good, donāt force it. If you want to move on, that is your choice. You can also ask him a year from now, things may change.
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Change that attitude? Lmao jk but let him do it on his own.
If you think that ring and piece of paper is worth more to you than your small family, youāre crazy. I made that mistake & regret it. Horribly. Take some time to really think about thisā¦
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Whatās that old saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free ā¦
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Bye. Not wanting to I can understand but to say āwhen your attitude changesā. Girl run
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If he doesnāt want to get married at 5 years then heās not going to and heās too much of a coward to admit it. If you value marriage I would move on.
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Talk about how you both see the future if it does or doesnāt align together. Seek counseling
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Howās your and his relationship? Do you guys get along great or fight all the time? Maybe heās just not ready yet. That doesnāt mean he doesnāt love you.
It means youāre not getting married.
If you want to then move on and find somebody else that will commit in that way.
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Sounds like you two have different goals. Iād rethink it!
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Kyla. See my response to Jennifer. I wanted to clarify some things
Sit down with him and have an adult conversation. There could be reasons why marriage scares him. My hubby was married before so he didnāt want to go through all the big wedding stuff again. We eloped and got married on a beach in Hawaii. You just have to find out what he is thinking 
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If itās important to you, leave! Theyāll make up all sorts of excusesā¦ and youāll end up resenting him for the time you wasted. Especially if hes saying, when you change your attitude! Plenty other good men out there that arenāt afraid of commitment.
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If youāre willing to kick him to the curb then maybe marriage isnāt the right step anyway
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Quit forcing him to marry you when he is ready to ask he will be ready why you trying to rush him
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Find a man who loves your attitude and canāt wait to marry you! I wouldnāt have ever given 5 years of MY life to someone who obviously has very different moral values and very little respect for mine. Bye 
thereās plenty of fish in the sea!
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We got married 11 years in, marriage isnāt important the relationship is, imo anyways 
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Well have a serious talk with him about it. And found out why. Tell him itās what you want and need after 5 yrs. If he doesnāt want the same, move on and find someone who is! Stop wasting your time!
What attitude needs changing ?
He likes you as you are or not
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I was with my Man 10 years before we got married 
My attitude would change right to another man!!! After 5 years chances are heās not going to marry youā¦next time donāt move in and I bet you get that ring!
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Donāt force something that isnāt there. You lose the person by pressuring him into something heās not ready for
It sounds like he doesnāt want to get married. So you have 2 options:
- You can stay and wait for a proposal thatās never going to come.
- You move on and find someone who would be interested in marrying you one day.
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I wouldnt force him. He may not want to get married.
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Talk to him about it. Ask him why he doesnt want to be married. I gave my now husband an ultimatum after 4 years dating. We marry or split. We set a date and got married 4 months after the ultimatum
Tell him to kick rocks sis! If he isnāt ready now heās never gonna be. He likes the situation
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Marriage has always been important to me. My kids dad didnāt take it seriously. Other than him being a POS he would have never wanted to marry and Iām glad I didnāt. I now am going to marry my best friend. Thereās men out there that want the same things you do babe.
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get rid of him, there are more fish in the sea that want to get married, stop wasting your time & lifeā¦
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Why does he have to marry you?
I couldnāt care less about marriage if Iām in love with the guy then a piece of paper wonāt change that
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Quit nagging him about marriage and just leave
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Not getting married is NOT a big deal. As long as your relationship is happy and healthy. Some people donāt want to get married that doesnāt mean they donāt love you the same.
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Your daughter is a pretty big commitment, even if he doesnāt want to comment.
I donāt know enough about your situation, but if youāre looking for marriage and heās not after 5 years I donāt think heāll change. Is he faithful, a good father, and good person and provider? These are important factors in your relationship. I sure would not provide any more children to further strain your relationship if heās having doubts about marriage. AND marriage is NOT going to make your relationship change unless both of you are committed to it. Leaving is easy, but it does take 2 to commit.
He probably isnāt asking you because you keep asking him to. Just calm down, he will when heās ready
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I mean. Technically yāall are common law marriedā¦ lol
But do u have a good relationship other than u arent married
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Are you worth marriage do you treat him like a wife would treat a husband
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He has no Intrest in marriage sp if thatās something you want youāll need to start over and start looking
Your boots are made for walking!!!
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Leave well enough alone. If yāall are happyā¦let it be. A
What about your attitude does he want you to change? Marriage is for better or for worse. With or without that attitude. Heās not ready
Iād ask if he against marriage then that he be willing to sign all the extra legal documents giving you both the same rights.
If this is something you both agreed on and now heās decided against it then you have some other decisions to make.
First of all 
Now Iām curious as too your attitudeā¦ how bad is it lol
I think having a kid together is bigger commitment than marriage itās just a piece of paper like so what
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What about being able to make decisions should either of you need to make life changing decisions. Iād want some kind of paper work ensuring Iām your legal heir, and not have mama have power to get you out of home and her inheriting his assets. Think of the future also
Some woman are after the money and when the husband passes itās all money and the material things that matter
You already giving him the whole packageā¦so your attitude is good enough for a relationship but not marriageā¦you know what you deserve and your worth ā¦donāt settle
Kick him to the curb
You are good enough to bear his child, if he wonāt marry you and thatās what you want, move on, Iāve been there, youāre, I think my husband was pressured in to marry me after we had a child, itās not such a happy life such a happy life, make sure you give this plenty of thought.
Thats not okay. Get rid of him. If the goal isnāt marriage (and thatās what you want) then whatās the point? Sounds like excuses and a way to keep you an option instead of a priority. If youāre good enough to have his kid but not to marry??? Weird asf
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5 years is long enough to request an ultimatum
Why would he marry you? You gave him everything already. He has no reason to want to get married because you didnāt hold some things off āuntil you got marriedā.
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You wonāt have to ask the right man to love you. You wonāt have to ask him to want to spend his life with you. Your attitude should totally change. It should get much much colder. Forget that mans name.
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Sadly a piece of paper and a ring isnāt going to change anything
There is nothing wrong for a couple to just live together in a committed relationship
And still be a normal family unit
Also would you consider a commitment ceremony
Instead of actually getting married
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If he doesnāt want what you want, kick him to the curb.
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No, keep living in sin. 
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Do you want to force him to marry you? He is giving you his answer!
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He doesnāt want marriage, not everyone doesā¦ You just need to decide if you can love him without a piece of paper.
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My bf an I have been together almost 9 years an weāre not married were both pretty content with the way things are. A piece a paper aināt gonna change anything. You gotta do whatā you feel is right. If you love him an are happy with him then marriage aināt nothing.
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First and foremost, itās clear that he doesnāt want marriage. I certainly wouldnāt want to marry him, if thatās his response to you.
Secondly, I would ignore the comments saying itās just a piece of paper or just a ring or just a title. True marriage is a huge commitment that goes farther than just signing a paper or wearing a ring.
Everything gets more complicated once youāre legally married. I would make ABSOLUTELY sure that you actually want to marry him and arenāt attached to the idea of being married in general. Itās a lot easier to separate and leave if you arenāt married, especially if in the future, things donāt work out. Also, itās time to level with him and get a straight answer. Not, āwill we get married?ā, āwhen are you going to ask me?ā. Just a straight question of if he wants to get married. If he says yes, go from there. Anything else, Iād say is a clear sign that you want two different things.
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